Stephen Chow’s classic lines:
1. Introduction to flattery categories:
1. In fact, I am changing the social atmosphere, enchanting thousands of girls, and stimulating the film market. I am a prankster expert who improves the connotation of young people, has a beautiful tree in the wind, and has a graceful demeanor. My name is Gu Jing, and my English name is Jing Koo!
2. Let me introduce you to Pizzad’s boyfriend. His hair style is bad and ugly, he has little money, has never read a book, and his sexual ability is so-so, but he is considered a talented person. Haha..
3. Ah Shui is famous for picking up countless girls and is a thorn in the side of all us men. His elegant figure exudes seductive charm that all girls find irresistible. With his heart-breaking eyes, no matter how cold and arrogant a woman is, they will be melted by his gentle eyes. He is universally recognized as the neighborhood lover and the soul of the Lucky Tea Restaurant. Everyone knows him - Prince Egg Tower. !
4. He is arrogant, but kind-hearted. He is low-key, but admired by thousands of people. He can use the fire given by God to mankind to perfection, and cook super dishes that can be called the art of fire. Shi, is he the incarnation of a god? Or the messenger of hell? No one knows, but it is certain that everyone gives him a title - the God of Food!
5. Is this true? ! What you said cannot be ignored! good! I am the embodiment of both beauty and wisdom, hero and chivalry: Tang Bo Hu!
6. Sweeping the floor is just my superficial job. My real identity is a research monk.
7. I have a blue dragon on my left, a white tiger on my right, an old ox on my waist, and a dragon head on my chest. If someone blocks me, I will kill someone, and if I block Buddha, I will kill Buddha!
8. The poor monk is the abbot of Shaolin Temple, and his Buddhist name is Mengwei. Amitabha, I come with the wind and go with the wind...
9. Wow, wow, wow, okay! To be honest, little brother, I am Zhou Botong, the little nymphomaniac known as Yushu Linfengsheng Pan An, nicknamed "a plum flower crushing the begonia"!
10. How can I fool you with my wisdom?
11. I am not afraid to tell you that I have seen flying saucers since I was eating chicken shit, which is what the world calls UFO. Do you understand UFOs? When I was 4 years old, I saw the legendary Loch Ness Monster. I also chatted and played guessing games with Bigfoot in the Himalayas. In addition, I have been riding roller coasters every morning since I was a child, and at night I just play roller coaster. When playing pirate ship, I also play pirate ship in the morning, roller coaster in the evening, and play pirate ship many times in the evening, I tell you!
12. Sir, you have a sky-high bone on your forehead and a spiritual light in your eyes. You have been reincarnated as an immortal and descended to earth as a deity. I am finally waiting for you. Don't move. Although I have revealed the secret and disaster is inevitable, this is my destiny. Even if I have to take great risks, I still have to show you a sign.
13. Ah! Master's thinking is really as powerful as sailing against the current. It's amazing! You deserve to be king with your ideas.
14. Good! He stuffed it in without thinking. He was indeed a heart-wrenching man. I love you! ! !
15. Do you think I can’t find you if I hide? No use D! An outstanding man like you is as bright and outstanding as a firefly in the dark no matter where he is. Your melancholy eyes, sparse beard, miraculous knife skills and that cocktail all fascinated me deeply. However, although this is such a wonderful thing, there are rules in the industry. No matter what, you have to pay for last night's overnight stay. Don't you need to pay if you ask a woman?
16. It is our responsibility as citizens to eliminate violence and maintain good behavior, and it is also my personal interest to do good deeds. Therefore, I help the old lady cross the road once a week, and I do it three or four times on Sundays and public holidays.
17. Wrong! This is not an ordinary box, it is the God in the Box, or the Box God for short!
18. Good deeds have good causes, and evil deeds have retribution. The laws of heaven are cyclical and fair. I once caught a dragon rooster by mistake. Today, the emperor caught me. It is indeed educational. I admire the emperor. The heart is like a surging river that never ceases, and like the Yellow River that overflows out of control.
19. Zhou: What is the name of his martial arts? It is called the Nine Heavens and Ten Earths. The Bodhisattva shakes his head in fear, and splits the golden light, thunder and lightning palm! With one strike, all humans, animals, shrimps, crabs, and fleas within a radius of a hundred miles were turned into ashes! However, this person's whereabouts are erratic on weekdays, and I have only seen half of him during my busy schedule!
Tea guest: Either I have met him or not. How can I only meet him half way?
Zhou: Have you never heard of "still holding the pipa and half covering your face"? Have you really never read a book? Stupid pig! Ha ha ha ha. .
20. Let me tell you, when dealing with this kind of woman, you must use a condescending look and a strong arm to rescue her from the sea of ??desire!
21. I drank wine and kowtowed! From now on, you will be part of my Niu family!
2. Humiliation and begging for mercy:
1. With your wisdom, it is difficult for me to explain to you!
2. You are a piece of shit. Life is cheaper than ants. I drive a Mercedes, you pick your nose. Have a meal! ? Eat shit, you!
3. The alkaline water surface has not been cooled with cold water, so the noodles are full of alkaline water smell. The fish balls also don’t have a fishy taste, but in order to hide it, you specially added curry sauce and wanted to make it into curry fish balls. But this is too naive, because you don’t cook it for enough time, and the flavor of the curry is only on the surface and does not penetrate into the inside at all. When the fish balls are put into the soup, they will be diluted. A good curry fish ball will make you have neither fish flavor nor curry flavor. Fail! I haven’t picked the radish, there are too many tendons, it’s a failure! The pork skin was overcooked and there was no bite, so it was a failure! The pig's blood is so pulpy that it falls apart as soon as you pinch it. It's a failure within a failure! The worst thing is the large intestine. It has not been cleaned at all and there is still a piece of shit. Did you make a mistake? Hey, there is shit. Hey, there is shit. Have you seen it? Hey, there is a piece of shit!
4. Ridiculous! I dare to say something boldly, no one dares to pretend in front of me, please be quiet!
5. When cutting your hair, you shouldn’t just follow the trends based on how others cut your hair. You have to cooperate! Look at your hairstyle, it doesn’t match your face shape at all, your face shape doesn’t match your body shape, and your body shape doesn’t match your hair style at all, and it’s extremely unmatched! ! Brother Huan! What on earth do you want?
6. What did you say? Are you able to tell lies like this? Are you sorry for your conscience? Are you sorry for your parents? Is it worthy of this country? You hurry up and hold a press conference to clarify, otherwise I will peel off your skin, break your bones, and drink your blood!
8. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It’s your parents’ fault that made you look like this!
9. Do you want to? Have you thought enough? When will it be my turn to think? !
10. Don’t blame me for being too frank! It would be too much of a child's play for you guys to want to take my life just because you are a bunch of spoiled sweet potatoes and rotten bird eggs! ! !
11. It’s really disappointing. Hearing your voice, I thought you were a very emotional person with a lot of movie fantasy. Looking at your outfit, I can see that you have no connotation!
12. The proprietress in "The Deadly Grass": You gave birth to a son without an asshole, your father sold his asshole, you own a rotten asshole, and you like to eat chicken buttholes. Big butt, you don’t have any business, why are you here to make trouble with me? You don't need to make trouble, I will reveal my background. My father died when I was three, my mother died when I was four, my father died when I was five, six, seven, and eight years old. I seduced men when I was ten, seduced men when I was eleven, and your man was also seduced by me.
13. Bao Longxing: You have a lemon head, mouse eyes, a hooked nose, splayed eyebrows, windy ears, a big turned mouth, old Qiang teeth, a wick neck, high and low shoulders, long and short hands, chicken breasts, A dog's belly, a loser's waist, if I were you, I would commit suicide long ago!
14. Tang Bohu (Stephen Chow): Say! Did you lose your bet again and come to me for help?
Zhu Zhishan (Chen Baixiang): Insightful! As expected of "My parents are the ones who gave birth to me, Brother Tang is the one who knows me!" This time, I risked my life to the fullest! In one fell swoop, I lost all I could lose in my life, a total of three hundred taels of silver! This time I came here specifically to ask Brother Tang for help. I hope Brother Tang can help me!
Tang (Zhou): Three hundred vehicles! Stop dreaming! Even if you kneel down until you pee your ass off this time, I can't save you!
Zhu Zhishan: Bohu, don’t be so awesome, okay? The worst case scenario is that I swear, if I gamble again in the future, I will let the ugliest woman in the world gang-rape me every night until my body is completely bruised and crumbling. Is that okay?
Tang Bohu (Zhou): Isn’t it? ! You can even utter such a tragic and poisonous oath! Why. . . ! There's really nothing I can do against you!
15. Two girls, please take pity on me. All six of my family died in one night. I am infected with tenth-grade tuberculosis, half for sale and half for free, so just buy me!
16. Why do you treat me like a pig! Put me to sleep as soon as you see me! ~
3. Self-narration type:
1. You go first, I will wait until my legs are not shaking so much and my heartbeat is not so chaotic before I leave!
2. Thirty years ago, when I was in middle school, I really thought about her all the time. Sometimes I would suddenly stop peeing, and then think of her, and my heart would feel sweet. Then I forgot to pee the remaining half!
3. The bullet penetrated my thigh bone, compressed my aorta, and blocked my trigeminal nerve. Now the left side of my brain is hypoxic and paralyzed, and the right half of my body begins to become paralyzed. (After tearing open my pants, I See) Be sure to cut the wound with a knife to remove the bullet.
4. What I mean is that this method of mine is the distraction method used by the ancient miracle doctor Hua Tuo. In ancient times, there was a story about Yun Chang concentrating on playing chess and scraping bones to cure poison. Today, I, 007, concentrate on watching an A-movie, digging out bones and extracting warheads, starting -
5. A knife on the head, from the forehead to the nose, that (referring to stall), right in front of his stall, the tail keel was chopped several times, two tendons were broken, the trigeminal nerve was suppressed, the central system of the brain was affected, and even the teeth came out.
6. After beheading the chicken head, burning the yellow paper, and making an alliance with blood, Wei Xiaobao, you will be my brother of the Heaven and Earth Society, and you will be temporarily incorporated into the Qingmu Hall. We have ten major rules, twenty major codes, thirty major commandments, and eighty minor commandments. If you violate any of them, even if you are my disciple, you will be stabbed to death ninety-nine and eighty-one times.
7. However, I am a person with very complicated feelings. If a person with very complicated feelings only loves you, he will become emotionally defective. An emotionally defective person, Even if you have him forever, it's useless.
8. Opponent: (Crying) Wangcai... Wangcai, you can’t die. Wangcai, you have been with me for so many years, and you have been affectionate and loyal to me, and you have treated me with sincerity, but now I can’t even I haven't even given you a full meal, I'm sorry for you, Wangcai!
Poor servant (played by Zhou) (crying): Xiaoqiang! Xiaoqiang, what's wrong with you, Xiaoqiang? Xiaoqiang, you can't die! You and I have been dependent on each other for so many years, and we have been teaching and raising you as if we were our own flesh and blood. I never expected that today, a man with white hair would give a man with black hair a gift!
4. Long Sentence Category:
1. Zhou (knocking the bowl with both hands and singing): Madam, I live in Suzhou City. I have a house and a field at home, and my life is full of joy. . Who would have thought that Tang Bohu was so arrogant and merciless that he colluded with the officials to occupy my big house and seize my land. My grandfather fell out with him, but he beat him down with a stick. My grandma scolded him for deceiving good people, but he took her to the Tang Mansion and raped her a hundred times! In the end, she hanged herself from the beam and hated the world! He also drove my father and son out of their home and lived on the river bank. In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple.
Who would have thought that Tang Bohu was so insidious that he knew this situation and actually sent someone to plot against me and beat my father and son wildly in front of the city, in front of the city! Fortunately, my little body is strong and my life is saved. Poor old man, his soul has passed away! This hatred is even harder to fill. In order to bury his father, he had no choice but to sell himself into slavery and debase himself. While working hard, he read and vowed to show his fame and kill the enemy with his own hands. From now on, Tang Yin's collection of poems will be with me, and I will remember that this hatred will not be against Dai Tian, ??nor Dai Tian! ! !
2. On a dark and windy eerie night, I am Zhizunbao and you are Bai Jingjing. The wonderful love begins from this ignition on the bridge. As soon as I turned around, you suddenly pointed at me, and my whole hand was on fire. You have to rush over and desperately fight hard, isn't it like this, this is the way like this, yes, that's it, do you see it? I can describe the future development as a sudden turn of events, because suddenly a Bull Demon King appeared. At that time, after you fought against the Bull Demon King with a bone in your hand, you captured me back to the Pansi Cave. The saying that time flies is indeed true at all, because it only took a blink of an eye to reach the main event. On Broken Rock, it was when feelings broke out. I touched you desperately and you touched me desperately, and we swore an oath to never be separated. It's a pity that happiness is always short-lived, and all you get in return is infinite pain and sighs. Why will you die? I had to use the Moonlight Box to turn back time and find out the truth, and finally I found out that you committed suicide! I can finally save you at the last moment! But the last time I went back in time, the Moonlight Box malfunctioned and I "chirped" back to five hundred years ago... That's it!
5. Dialogue:
A: 10 It has been ten years, and I thought the country had forgotten me.
B: How could it be? Even a pair of underwear or a piece of toilet paper has its use.
A: Really, if I lie to you, I guarantee that my son will not have a butthole when I give birth to him!
B: Looking at you, I will definitely give birth to a son without an asshole. Even if he does, he will still be a baby. Deformed asshole!
A: Who are you?
B: The world is dangerous and I never leave my name easily.
A: Since you refuse to leave your name, you can only leave your head!
B: I have been lonely all my life, and the only thing I depend on for survival is this head. I’m afraid it won’t be that easy for you to take it away!
A: OK! It was you who forced me to take action. I want to dye this sea red with your blood.
B: I have been wandering all my life, just like a lonely boat in the ocean. I have long ignored life and death.
6. Other categories:
Sorry, I am an undercover agent.
You can’t see me, you can’t see me. . .
Are you surprised? Gao is not happy? Not happy?
Sorry, director. Well... depending on the character's background and personality, when I'm acting, I want to be a little more naughty in terms of rhythm, but also a little contradictory. What do you think?
Take pain, for example, according to the Russian drama theory master Stanislavsky. It should be reflected from the outside to the inside and then from the inside. Come on, try it again now.
Impossible, the stupid girl’s mother-in-law’s brother-in-law’s son said there is one!
Talk about money hurts feelings! But Brother Chen, we brothers have nothing to do with you, so we should be more direct when talking about money.
It doesn’t matter whether you have money or not, but at least you have to be a respected person! (Change of topic) - I would rather be rich...
You are all women, why bother killing each other? Even chickens are patriotic!
You'd better go back to Mars as soon as possible, the earth is very dangerous.
If you want to scare me, you won’t be able to knock me down. I’m afraid of everything but not ghosts!
Wonderful dialogue in Westward Journey:
What is your mother’s surname?
You are scaring me again!
Be careful! It's thundering! Collect clothes when it rains!
Talk to me? You didn't tell me that? Wrong person!
Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?
Well, I am not good at literature or martial arts. If you don’t want to be a bandit, do you want to be the number one scholar?
Oh--! Familiar with it, if you talk nonsense like this, I can still sue you for slander, ha!
Save it for you! Change your image and pursue your promising career as a bandit!
I am a Western samurai after all. If you ask me to kiss you, I will kiss you. Then my image will be completely ruined!
Brother, as a rational person like me, how could I accept such nonsense?
Why did you shave your beard? Do you know that without your beard, you have no character at all?
It was a long night with no intention of sleeping. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep, but it turns out that you, Miss Jingjing, couldn't sleep either!
Stop being wordy! You chased me for three days and three nights, but I didn't kill you because you were a woman. Don't think I'm afraid of you!
Look at your character. You are sneaky, shameful, disheveled, and look like a dog. How can you come out with me to wander around in the world?
When I used to watch the moon with me, I called her Xiao Tiantian, but now the new person is better than the old person, and I call her Mrs. Niu!
I had just woken up and was passing by with nothing to do outside, so I dropped in to learn from my teacher. You suddenly mentioned getting married to me... I haven't brushed my teeth yet!
Who said I have cross-eyes? I just focused my attention on one point to change my previous view of things, why? I'm no longer good at spreading rumors. Do you want to take my seat?
Is Zixia an exclamation mark or a period in your mind? Is your head full of question marks?
Do you need a reason to love someone? Don't need it? Need it? Hey, I'm just studying with you, why are you so serious?
How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? Tell me something, I just want to make one more friend before I die.
Both humans and monsters are born from mothers, but different people are born from human mothers, while monsters are born from monsters...
So It is said that being a monster is just like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a monster, but a human monster.
I can’t stand you! You are so ugly, do me a favor, we are all gods, please stop sexually harassing me, okay?
In terms of wisdom and martial arts, I have always been a little taller than him, but now that there is Zixia Fairy, he may be a little taller than me. It’s just because you are a burden that he will be a little taller than me!
Wukong wants to eat me. It is just an idea and has not become a fact. You have no evidence, so why is he guilty? Why don't you wait until he eats me and you have the evidence to convict him?
Wukong, just stab me to death. Life is so sad, and death is so painful. When you understand the importance of sacrificing your life for righteousness, you will naturally come back and sing this song to me! Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha...
You must explain! So I must get back the Moonlight Treasure Box and take you back with me to explain it clearly to them. I don’t care what others say about me, and I’m not afraid that thousands of people will rebuke me in the future. I have to bear it alone.
Have you seen it? This guy talks at length about his mother-in-law and his mother-in-law. It’s like there’s a fly buzzing around you all day long. Sorry, it’s not just one fly. It’s a bunch of flies surrounding you, buzzing... buzzing... buzzing... flying into your ears. Inside, help!
So I grabbed the fly, squeezed its belly, pulled out its intestines, then strangled its neck with its intestines and pulled hard, haha ??-! The whole tongue is sticking out! I raise the knife again and drop it -! The whole world is purified.
Now everyone understands why I want to kill him!
Wow! Brother, you put on this makeup and say you are Sun Wukong? Could you please show some professionalism? You see, those hairs are all split, and it looks like there are two rice cakes on the head. It costs a lot of money to go out and make a living! What are you looking at? Your makeup is disgusting! I said the same thing when you were angry with me!
You want it? Wukong, if you want something, just speak. If you don't tell me, how will I know what you want? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it?
Hey, hey, hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Being angry will violate the precept of anger! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things away, but why did you... Look, you threw away the stick again before I finished speaking! The Moonlight Box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if it hits a child? Even if it doesn't hit the children, it's still wrong to hit those flowers and plants!
Oh, the size of the diamond ring is too bad. It is heavy in front and light in back, wide on the left and narrow on the right. It makes him very uncomfortable after wearing it, and he can't sleep all night. It will hurt me! Although he is a monkey, you can't treat him like this. If the government finds out, they will accuse me of animal cruelty! Speaking of that diamond ring, I met a blacksmith in Chenjiacun last year. He has exquisite workmanship, fair prices, and is an honest man. Why don't I introduce you to a custom-made one?
You should do this, and I should die. There was once a sincere love in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. I only regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. Cut my throat with your sword! Look no further! If God could give me another chance, I would say three words to that girl: I love you. If I had to add a time limit to this love, I hope it would be... ten thousand years!
This should be the most classic. If you are satisfied, give me points. We in the East are really good!