Of course, children who seek revenge will also have children who repay kindness. These two kinds of children are also "their own children" and "other people's children".
In parents' own eyes, it is usually their own children who take revenge and others' children who are grateful.
We understand that children who come to "revenge" are generally disobedient and defeated, and you can't do anything about him. Children who come to "repay kindness" are generally obedient, filial to their parents, sensible, able to supplement their families and change their destiny.
In fact, these statements are all wrong. Whether the child came to repay the kindness or revenge, I finally knew.
For example, some children are smart and sensible from an early age, and as a result, they become bad as soon as they enter the society. Such a child can be regarded as revenge for "repaying kindness".
Some children are always angry with their parents when they grow up. They don't study hard and always make trouble. Finally, their parents were old, and only He, who had not studied well, stayed with them. Such a child can be regarded as a gratitude.
Good and bad, black and white, this is not a word.
As parents, it is the most important thing to know how to educate children correctly and train them wholeheartedly.
Children are the "key" for adults to improve themselves, and the relationship between children and parents is the most intuitive evaluation of parents' education methods.
Professor Ceng Shiqiang, a famous master of Chinese studies and the father of China's management, divided China's parents into three types, and interpreted these three parent-child relationships, which was quite vivid.
1, parents of God
Some parents will establish a tall and all-round image of their parents in their children's hearts in order to gain their worship and obedience.
These parents deify themselves, and children, like believers, must obey or be punished.
Children who grow up in this environment are usually very good when they are young, but with the growth of age and experience, they will become more and more disobedient, just as people's fear of God will fade after the development of science and technology.
2. Ghost parents
Such parents are staunch supporters of hegemonism, and you have to do whatever I ask you to do. Parents are the boss, and children have to obey unconditionally. Disobedience means intimidation and corporal punishment.
Children in this environment are usually timid, will not refuse, will not resist, grow up to be either a horse-haired man or an ordinary coward, and it is difficult to achieve much.
There is a kind of parents who either drive their children to death or drive them farther and farther away, that is, "ghost parents". I hope you are not.
3. Parents
Such parents pay attention to equal dialogue, regard their children and themselves as independent individuals, and give their children a great degree of autonomy in life and education.
Children in this environment are independent, confident and independent, and it is easy to be excellent.
Speaking of the importance of children's independence, prodigy Wei Yongkang is the best example.
13 years old, Wei Yongkang was admitted to Xiangtan University with an excellent score of 602 in the national college entrance examination. 65,438+07 years old, was sent to school with the second good result. At the age of 20, he was dismissed from school because he couldn't take care of himself. He didn't even get a master's degree when he left school.
In an interview, Wei Yongkang's mother cried and said: It was the love of the nanny that killed the child.
She has always believed that children can make a difference through learning, so she doesn't let her son participate in anything. All the work is done by herself, even including bathing, washing his face and feeding him.
Later, Wei Yongkang left her mother to study alone, and even the most basic life could not be arranged. In winter, she went out wearing slippers, and was finally discouraged by the Chinese Academy of Sciences in the third year of research.
1, accompany with your heart
Speaking of accompanying children, most families are children doing homework, parents brushing their mobile phones, giving them a bunch of toys to play with and lying beside them …
These are called company, not company.
Huang Lei, recognized as a good father, no matter how busy he is, will take time to grow up with his children, cook, read and perform together …
Huang Duoduo has translated books with his father, participated in hundreds of performances, and written his own plays. His spoken English is as good as his mother tongue ... This is the future for parents to accompany their children attentively.
2. Do your own thing.
Wei Yongkang is a tragedy, and his mother takes care of him too well. If a child can do something by himself, he must be encouraged to do it by himself. Your idea of "when he grows up" is wrong.
At the age of 20, Wei Yongkang couldn't even choose clothes according to the weather, and his future was ruined.
It is best to trust children, cultivate their self-care ability from an early age, and give encouragement in time.