The root cause of domestic violence is family disharmony, and there are many reasons for disharmony. Economic conflicts, conceptual conflicts, different customs, personalities, etc. may be the reasons. I hope everyone can be kind to others. Check out the article below, it will help.
Comfortable
——Spirit Escaper
Some things must be remembered, and some things must be forgotten. Only those with memories can appreciate life better. So I can only sympathize with those who have lost their memory. When I look back on my childhood, I realize that I am really very mature.
In this way, it is not surprising that he looks older than his actual age despite his young age. "Let everything come naturally, let everything go naturally." Just like what Xu Wei sang in his song, we are walking in "life."
I have two alma maters. I initially attended a primary school in the countryside called Mijiagou. There are probably 10 cave dwellings in the school. Then from right to left, there are grades one to six.
I am a mess at studying and I am always on the bottom of my game. I was beaten almost every day, so I didn't like studying. I like taking music classes and physical education classes.
Students from several music classes gathered in the same classroom, and an elderly teacher Wang took over the class, and he sang very well. Coincidentally, this teacher Wang was also the teacher who taught my father and my fifth aunt. Both my father and my fifth aunt were very good at studies at that time, but they both dropped out of school because of their poor family background.
Teacher Wang was very sorry and said to me: "Your dad studied well, so he should study hard when he comes to you. How bad are your grades?"
Me Now I can still think of the afternoon sunshine, shining through the cracks in the door and windows, illuminating the dust and shining on Teacher Wang's face as she sang selflessly. While singing and tapping, it seems that several of our classmates can continue to sing until they are old. Indeed, at that time, we did not want to hear the bell ringing for the end of get out of class.
When I was in the second grade, at noon, I didn’t know what homework I had not finished. The teacher beat me and made me stand outside for a whole class.
I had a lot of self-esteem at that time. So many classmates came and looked at me, and some even asked me what was wrong. Anyway, I kept my head down and said nothing. Then when no one is around, look left and right. During the last class, the teacher saw me still standing there. He came over and scolded me again, to the effect of: "You are so bad, forget it and drop me to the second grade."
Then he took me directly to the second grade. In this way, I was dropped to the second grade without going through any formalities and without my parents knowing. I was sitting in the last row, looking at a classmate who was unfamiliar to me. I could only say nothing. I actually don't know what this means, and until now, I don't know if this is good or bad for me.
I am most afraid of math class. The male teacher always hits the students in the last few rows of us. I don’t know why. Even though we know we don't know how to do it, they still ask us to go up every time in class. It's a bit like a "dessert" before class to liven up the class atmosphere. I won’t learn what the teacher scolded, let everyone think for themselves. How rich your imagination is, how rich his scolding will be.
Of course, there are also happy things, all of which seem to be related to the teacher Wang mentioned above. I am Zuo Pianzi, and I also write. After she found out, she corrected me. Every time he would quietly appear behind me and hit my left hand with a ruler as I was writing.
Later, I even developed a conditioned reflex. When I saw her, I felt like the ruler was going to hit my hand. And the first pencil I got was from Teacher Wang. Write 10 words silently, and you will win a prize if you write them correctly. Most of the students in the class won prizes. Even so, I was still very happy.
Another winter morning, I had a stomachache. Teacher Wang took me to the office, where many teachers were there. She asked me to lie down on the fire bed. In my memory, the kang was very hot, but with so many teachers there, I persisted. But it works. After one class, I no longer have stomach pain. But my belly was hot and red. Teacher Wang didn't know this.
Later I transferred to a school in the county. I was supposed to be in fifth grade, but I continued in fourth grade. This time it was my parents’ decision and my compromise. They said: "The rural areas are so poor. I can't keep up in the fifth grade in the city. If I can understand it in the fourth grade, it will be fine."
In this way, during my schooling career, I was dropped two grades. , so this may be the reason why he is older than his classmates.
The reason I transferred to the city to study was not because my family was rich. On the contrary, my family was poor. But my parents were incredibly passionate about educating their children. My dad always said: "If I had the conditions you have now, I would definitely be able to study well."
We three sisters received loans from our parents to finance our studies, so we have always been ordinary in terms of food, clothing, housing and transportation. When I went to the city, I realized that most people don’t wear cloth shoes but rubber shoes.
The clothes I wear are always given by relatives, especially my second aunt’s family. But my second aunt’s family is all girls. So I sometimes went to school in girl's clothes.
But I also understand my parents, so I can save money in many aspects and never compare. Let’s give an embarrassing example. Schools in the county have microcomputer classes, that is, computer classes. Maybe more than 100 yuan a year. Once a week.
In the first year, in order to save money, I didn’t go to school. But during the computer class, the classroom door was locked and students were not allowed to stay inside. So I could only walk around the campus, but I didn't dare to walk around because the principal would ask and scold me when he saw me.
So I found a place where I would not be embarrassed, and that was the toilet. I will go to the toilet during computer class. Even if it is not urgent, I will go. After squatting for more than ten minutes, I couldn't squat anymore, so I went out. Furthermore, now that I think about it, the toilet smells really bad. But no matter how bad the smell of the toilet is, it seems that it can wrap up a little man's self-esteem.
Poor self-esteem is a double-sided word. I still don’t understand this word very well. Someone also asked: "Why is a person so poor and still sensitive all day long?"
When I saw others asking this question, I actually tried to answer it myself. I have to admit that this is an inferiority complex. I was subconsciously defending this inferiority complex, but what showed was that I was looked at as funny.
Is it embarrassing to squat on the toilet? Not awkward. But after squatting in the toilet, when I went out, I once met the head teacher, Mr. Zhang. In fact, I had also met the math teacher and the music teacher before.
The meeting with Teacher Zhang is still fresh in my memory. I wanted to hide, but I couldn't. Teacher Zhang asked: "Why are you here?" I told the truth: "I didn't take the computer class."
Teacher Zhang understood immediately, and then she said something that is still heartwarming to this day: " Do you want to go? If you want to go, the teacher will give you the money." I quickly said: "I don't know, it's just a waste of money." I was telling the truth.
The teacher didn’t say anything, and then said that it would be bad for you to stop here and let the director see it. You go to the classroom. I nodded, but didn't tell her that the teacher was closed.
Embarrassment is a necessary lesson in life. No one is willing to tell others about their embarrassment as a pleasure, especially a person with low self-esteem or high self-esteem.
Looking back now, this is such a precious moment in my life. Everything I have gained and what I feel now can be described as "comfortable". This is what originally belonged to me, this is what life is like.
I was embarrassed at the time, but I feel comfortable now. Things that have passed are just memories and are no longer things. This is why people with memories can appreciate life better. People who have memories are also happy.
Compared to today’s money-worshipping society, I don’t know what type of person I am. I used to have a good classmate in junior high school. Both of our families are relatively poor, so we are more able to get together.
We lost contact after graduating from junior high school. Last year, he found my WeChat account through his classmates. We connected it, we went back for the Chinese New Year that year and had hot pot together. He is married and has gained weight.
We talked about how poor we used to be. A bowl of knives and a bowl of Northern Shaanxi snacks cost 50 cents. We took turns. Whoever had money would invite the other person to eat once. The taste was really delicious. Very.
His wife said with a smile: "Others are showing off their wealth, but you two are showing off your poverty." We both laughed and said: "No more, it's going to rain, I want to go out and take a shower It’s my head, otherwise the rain will stop again.”
It’s also time, and the friends, teachers, and bosses around me have made me gradually understand that the network of society tries to catch everyone. This is how society is, but if you want to live truly, you have to face your own embarrassment, your own inferiority, and all your shortcomings in order to break through yourself.
People like me, where are you? No matter where you are, I hope you live a more real life than me. Life must not be easy, just not easy. There are no easy things in life, only easy people. Therefore, we should live an optimistic life with a cautious and untroubled attitude.
Comfortable, this is such a good word. I stay away from people who complain all day long, I stay away from people who are arrogant, I stay away from people who are stubborn, and I look for people who have the same temperament as myself. The world is so big and there are so many people in it, you don’t have to worry about anything.
When I read other people’s articles, I imagine having an interview with the author. The article is written through the ages, and the principles remain unchanged. The living methods summarized by the predecessors are still meaningful today.
I hope you have time to think about many things, and I hope you have time to correct many things. In fact, I have not suggested a way to correct it, but you know how to do it. Memory is like a glass of water, which not only becomes more and more turbid, but also continues to evaporate, becoming less and less.
When you are so busy that you can't hear yourself, you are just a machine. Think about your childhood, your embarrassment, and your years. I hope that like me, you have gained the feeling of "comfort".
May 24, 2017.
Excerpted from the collection of essays by an independent scholar and writer, a famous Chinese scholar named Ling Yuzhe, "From Now on"