Find the entry point for successful communication
The entry point of communication plays a vital role in the outcome of communication. If you cut in well, the communication will be successful; if you cut in poorly, you will not be able to achieve the expected results. So, how to accurately enter into communication?
1. Strive to seek closeness and recognition
A person’s first impression leaves the deepest impression on others, and others can roughly see a person’s inner qualities from this. Similarly, whether a person is lovable depends on whether he can gain the recognition of others and how well he can adapt to the emotional needs of others.
1. Care for those closest to him. Everyone always cares about the people closest to them. Once they discover that others also care about the people they care about, they will feel an extremely close feeling. Communication can take advantage of people's similar psychological tendencies, start from caring about the people closest to them, and shorten the distance of communication.
Ichiro Kono, who was once as powerful as former Japanese Prime Minister Eisaku Sato, is the best at taking advantage of this subtle psychology of people. Once when Ichiro Kono was traveling in Europe and the United States, he met Mr. Chika Yonekura, a friend he had not seen for many years and had become a stranger in New York. After the two talked about their current situation, they both left their domestic addresses and phone numbers, knowing that they had become a family to each other. That night, the first thing Ichiro Kono did when he returned to the hotel was to hang up a long-distance call to Mrs. Kon Yonekura: "I am an old friend of Kono Kon. My name is Ichiro Kono. We met in New York. Everything about him was very good. Okay."
Mrs. Kon Yonekura did not expect that her husband's friend would be so caring and considerate to her husband, and she was moved to tears. Yonekura Kon found out later and made a special trip to express his gratitude to him.
2． Build a sense of "fellow countrymen" in his mind. The consciousness of "compatriots" is also the consciousness of family affection. In "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms", why are Guan Yu and Zhang Fei so loyal to Liu Bei? The main reason is that Liu Huangshu became sworn sworn brothers with Guan and Zhang when they first met them, and became sworn brothers. The consciousness of "brothers" was firmly rooted in Guan and Zhang's minds. If you can quickly establish the awareness of "compatriots" at the beginning of communication, you can make the other party relax their vigilance against you and accept yourself as "one of your own."
Tanaka Giichi is a well-known Japanese politician. He is very good at using people's closeness to create a warm communication environment to achieve the desired communication results. Once, when he was on a political tour of Hokkaido, a well-dressed man who looked like a local celebrity came out of the welcoming procession to greet him. Tanaka Yiichi hurriedly stepped forward, held the man's hands tightly, and said enthusiastically: "Ah, you have worked hard. How is your father?" The man was so moved that he could not speak for a while. Tanaka Yiichi's political tour was also a great success. Afterwards, Tanaka Yiichi's entourage was very puzzled by his master's intimate behavior and couldn't help asking: "Who is that person?" Tanaka Yiichi's answer was unexpected: "How do I know, but everyone has a father!" < /p>
Tanaka Yiichi’s communication success is undoubtedly due to his choosing a better communication entry point, that is, he quickly established a sense of family affection in the mind of the man, making him feel that he is a trustworthy and affable person. This created a psychological sense of identification with Tanaka Yiichi.
3. Give him a helping hand. Enthusiastic help is the best way to win people's favor. In daily life, those who are warm-hearted, kind, generous, and helpful will always gain a good reputation among their neighbors and colleagues. Because people are generally happy to meet and interact with these warm-hearted people. For example, if you help a neighbor who is going upstairs to carry some gas, you can become a frequent visitor to his home; if you place the luggage for a passenger who has just got on the bus, you will have an extra companion on the journey; if you make a cup of tea for a busy colleague, You will be rewarded with kindness.
4． Warm the ice in his heart with warmth. People generally believe that the period of time after the conflict between the two parties breaks out is the freezing point of communication. But if one party can take the initiative to make a kind act that is completely opposite to the other party's expectations at this time, it will make the other party identify with you in astonishment, sigh, admiration, and respect, thus turning enemies into friends. The freezing point of communication becomes the entry point for successful communication.
When Washington, the founding president of the United States, was still a colonel, he led his troops to garrison in Alexandria. During the election of members of the Virginia Assembly, a man named William Penn opposed the candidate supported by Washington. Meanwhile, at one point over the election issue, Washington antagonized Penn.
Washington's rude words offended Penn; in anger, Penn punched Washington to the ground. When Washington's men heard the news, they were furious, and the troops immediately came over, ready to teach Penn a lesson. Washington stopped them on the spot and persuaded them to return to the camp, thus a war was temporarily avoided.
Early the next morning, Washington sent someone to give Penn a note. Ask him to come to a local hotel as soon as possible. Penn arrived as scheduled in a bad mood. He guessed that Washington would have a duel with him. However, unexpectedly, Washington held a sumptuous banquet there. When Washington saw Penn arriving, he immediately stood up to greet him, smiled, stretched out his hand, and said: "Mr. Penn, it is human nature to make mistakes, and it is an honor to correct them. I believe I was wrong yesterday, and you have already Satisfied to some extent. If you think it can be settled here, then take my hand and let's make friends." Washington's passionate words moved Payne. From then on, Penn became an ardent supporter of Washington.
2. Satisfy the psychological needs of the other party
People have both obvious personality psychology and general sexual psychology in communication. If we can target people's sexual psychology into communication activities, we can achieve satisfactory communication effects. People’s sexual psychology includes: 1. Praise psychology; 2. Achievement psychology; 3. Self-dazzling psychology; 4. Self-confidence; 5. Youthful psychology; 6. ***Interesting psychology; 7. Respect psychology; 8. Competitive mentality. etc. Taking meeting the other party's psychological needs as the entry point of communication is a shortcut to successful communication activities.
1. The method of praise satisfies people's psychology of praise. People all have a need to show their self-worth. Sincere praise can not only stimulate people's positive psychological emotions and obtain psychological satisfaction, but also make the person being praised have an impulse to communicate. Xiao Wang from a certain factory is a calligraphy enthusiast. He has always wanted to get to know the retired deputy director Zhao and learn the art of brush calligraphy with him, but unfortunately there has never been a good opportunity. Once, the trade union held a calligraphy and painting exhibition for veteran cadres. Xiao Wang went to visit and met Deputy Factory Director Zhao who was also at the exhibition. Xiao Wang walked silently beside Deputy Director Zhao. When he came to Deputy Director Zhao’s exhibition work, Xiao Wang seemed to be talking to himself: “This work by Deputy Director Zhao is good, no matter the layout. The structure and brushwork of the characters are still lively and not messy, and the blank space is authentic. "It's just that the changes in writing are a bit stagnant and not open enough," said Deputy Director Zhao next to him. In this way, they naturally entered into the evaluation of the next work. The interaction between Xiao Wang and Deputy Director Zhao achieved initial success.
2． Incentive methods satisfy people's achievement psychology. People want to do their best in the work they love and achieve commendable achievements. If this achievement mentality can be inspired by others, it will definitely arouse his gratitude and reward psychology. A farmer who often visited my father once said something to me that has become one of the most unforgettable words in my memory. He said: "I have been grateful to your father from the bottom of my heart for many years, and regard your father's words as my magic weapon to get rich. When I was the poorest in my life, your father once patted me on the shoulder and said: 'My son , cheer up, the sky will always be sunny. '"
3. The method of asking for advice satisfies people's self-dazzling psychology. People are proud of their own skills. If you want to get to know these people, asking for advice is the most effective way to start. For example, in the previous example, Xiao Wang, who loves calligraphy, made friends with Deputy Director Zhao in this way: Xiao Wang came to Deputy Director Zhao’s house with his calligraphy exercises: “Mr. Zhao, I felt benefited from hearing you talk about calligraphy works last time. "I've written a few exercises myself and would like your advice." "Oh, let me take a look." They started talking about calligraphy. From then on, Xiao Wang and Deputy Director Zhao formed a lifelong friendship.
4. Appreciation method satisfies people's self-confidence. A person often firmly believes in the object he believes in or the approach he takes. Sometimes he would rather believe the facts he has always believed than accept correction from others. If you can appreciate what he likes, you will be able to gain his approval. A newlywed couple ordered a set of furniture. One day, an acquaintance came to visit and saw the new furniture at a glance. He looked at the furniture and the layout of the room with admiration, and repeatedly expressed that the color and style of the furniture were very harmonious with the room. The host was in a particularly cheerful mood and the atmosphere of the conversation was very harmonious.
5． The age-reducing method satisfies people's youthful psychology.
People want to appear younger and more energetic in front of others. If communication starts from satisfying people's youthful psychology, a warm and harmonious communication atmosphere will soon be created, opening a convenient door for successful communication. The well-known Premier Zhou used "male years" (similar to kilograms and kilometers) to introduce the age of foreign guests' wives, which is a representative example.
6． The law of investment satisfies people's interest psychology. In life, we often hear such sayings: Whoever doesn’t get along with whomever, but will bully the other as soon as they meet; Whoever is so attached to the other, one can’t wait to wear a pair of trousers. If you don't get along, you don't have the same interests and hobbies. If you get along, you have the same temperament. People generally like to associate with those who have the "same language" as themselves, but it is often difficult to associate with people who have opposite tastes. So, if you want to have successful communication, you can start by looking for compatible interests.
7. The greeting method satisfies people's respect psychology. In social interactions, gaining respect not only reflects a person's reputation and status, but also shows that his moral character, conduct, knowledge, and talents have been recognized. Whether old or young, high or low, all expect respect from others. Therefore, it is reasonable for people to have a good impression of those who respect others. Active greeting is the most convenient and simple communication behavior to express a person's respect. From greetings to social activities, there will be a satisfactory result in nine cases out of ten.
8． The concession method satisfies people's competitive psychology. Consider an example: A customer owes Dietwool $150. One day, the customer burst into Mr. Dieter's office angrily and said that not only would he not pay the money, but he would never buy anything from Dieter's company again in his life. After the man talked for nearly twenty minutes, Dieter continued: "I want to thank you for telling me this. You did me a favor. Since you can no longer buy wool from us, I will recommend you some other Woolen Materials Company, we will write off your debt."
Finally, this customer signed another larger order than ever before. After his son was born, he named his son Dieter, and he remained a friend and customer of Dieter's company. Dieter's success lies in his wise concessions, which satisfies the opponent's competitive mentality.