1
79-year-old Mrs. Lin was lying on her back on the bed, with her children standing around her, and the slanting afternoon sunlight squeezed in through the gaps between the people. The potion in the hanging bottle sparkles as it drips, as if time is flowing and converging. Mrs. Lin woke up from sleep. In a trance, she once again dreamed of the scene when she first met Mr. Lin on the university campus.
2
In the summer of the year Chen Ansheng was born, it rained heavily for several days in Hualien. Many mining areas were flooded, so my father stopped working and stayed by his pregnant mother's side. He was born nearly two months prematurely. Fortunately, his father was there at the time. When he was born, Chen Ansheng weighed less than 5 pounds. His father later named him "Ansheng" to please him, hoping that he would be "safe and sound in the future, and be born and raised by nature."
At that time, my father was working as a hard worker in the serpentine mine team in Hualien, and the salary was not bad. On the day he turned one, his parents took him to town to take a family photo - which later became his only memory of his father's appearance. Many times, he looked at the photo and asked his mother:
"Was my father handsome when he was young?"
"So handsome!"
My mother softly agreed. , no more words. He rubbed the frame of the picture to himself. The man in the picture was tall and straight, with piercing eyes, supporting all his childhood hopes for a family.
3
Milan Kundera said: This is a world where leaving is popular, but we are not good at saying goodbye.
Mrs. Lin never thought that her husband would leave before her. As early as 10 years ago, Mrs. Lin’s legs and feet had become inconvenient. After Mr. Lin retired from the newspaper, he has remained in good health and occasionally writes essays for columns. During the day, as long as the weather is suitable, Mr. Lin will push Mrs. Lin in a wheelchair and take Taipei’s tram to get around.
“They are all very familiar streets and billboards.” Mrs. Lin, who was sitting in a wheelchair, often couldn’t help but think like this. “They are as familiar as the wrinkles and spots on her own face.”
But she enjoyed the process. Mr. Lin rarely spoke and occasionally asked her if she was cold or if she wanted hot water. Sometimes they would take the escalator. When going up, Mr. Lin would stand behind the wheelchair, hold the handle tightly, and use his body to support the wheelchair; when going down, he would reverse the wheelchair and stand underneath, still using his body to support the wheelchair.
"He always stands in the direction where accidents may happen."
What a cautious man, Mrs. Lin often thought to herself. At this time, she would deliberately want to ask for a drink of water. In fact, she was not really thirsty, but just wanted him to stop, take a breath, and take a rest.
4
Father died when Chen Ansheng was 2 years old. It was the same summer, the same heavy rains and mines were flooded.
The name "Ansheng" became the most precious gift left to him by his father.
My mother had no choice but to work as a part-time worker in a cotton mill, and the salary was not much. She occasionally made "tube rice cakes" and sold them to supplement the family income. The old house in my impression is often filled with the sound of my mother frying glutinous rice and the aroma of steaming pork strips. When his mother wasn't paying attention, Ansheng would often eat peanut powder and sweet chili sauce served with rice cakes. At that time, he had already grown strong, and in a blink of an eye, he was at the age of elementary school.
My mother later remarried a colleague who worked as a fitter in a cotton mill. The man's eldest mother was several years old, dark and thin, not tall, and spoke very little. Occasionally, he would joke with An Sheng, casually, as if giving alms. An Sheng didn't like him. The father in his memory was much more handsome than him, and An Sheng rarely answered his questions. At this time, the dinner table would become silent. Sometimes her mother would bring vegetables to An Sheng, and sometimes to the man, telling them to eat a few more bites to cope with the situation.
The happiest days are when I go to my mother’s cotton factory after the holidays. During the summer vacation of the fourth grade of elementary school, the accountant of the cotton mill brought her daughter, who was in the first grade of elementary school. The girl was wearing a fashionable floral skirt, with neat short hair, scattered freckles on her face, and a smooth smile, like a cup of pearl milk tea. "Milk Tea" already speaks a lot of English. She knows that the smallest dog in the world is called Chihuahua. She can point out the exact location of New Zealand and Florence on the globe. She can also dance out an amazing song at any time along with music. "precisely".
Of course, her knowledge and grace do not prevent them from becoming real good friends.
Ansheng took Milk Tea Sister to the back warehouse of the cotton factory, where square-shaped cotton yarn bags were piled up. An Sheng said that this is his snow country. They used cotton yarn and snow blocks to build a long snow slide. Sister Milk Tea closed her eyes, tightly grabbed An Sheng's lower back, screamed with excitement, and slid with him into the depths of that summer.
My mother was very happy to see Ansheng. One day after work, she took the opportunity to say to Ansheng: "From now on, will you call him daddy?"
Ansheng responded nonchalantly. , but while eating, he still awkwardly shouted: "Uncle Lin".
During the winter vacation that year, Ansheng met Milk Tea Sister again. She didn't seem to have grown much, but she was much bolder. She no longer closed her eyes when playing on the slide. She pointed to the glacier-like cotton gauze bag and said:
"I may immigrate to Australia with my father in the future. When I grow up, I will become a beauty pageant girl."
She spoke Her tone has always been calm and relaxed, even when she said bragging words like "beauty lady", she exuded elegant calmness. An Sheng said nothing, took out two tube rice cakes from his arms and quickly conquered her.
"Looking at your greedy appearance, you don't look like a beauty pageant girl!"
An Sheng thought secretly.
5
Before their second daughter was born, Mrs. Lin and Mr. Lin had a big fight.
Actually, Mr. Lin was not very happy when he took the pregnancy test report. At that time, he was an assistant professor at National Taiwan University, and his salary was not much. Apart from working and taking care of his children, he spent almost all his energy on writing papers. Of course, occasionally he would write novels for submission, and sometimes he would be as happy as a child if he won a column.
“How can I have the money to raise another child?”
“Many of my colleagues have gone overseas to start companies, why don’t you give it a try?”
“I like being a Teacher, not everyone wants to do business.”
“Are you selfish?”
“Don’t complain!”
Mr. Lin stopped talking, took out a cigarette and lit it. Mrs. Lin moved over, grabbed the cigarette, and threw it into the trash can.
“Smoking is bad for the fetus!”
Mr. Lin slammed the door and left. Soon, there were several muffled thunders in the sky, and raindrops the size of soybeans, like shotguns, made the awning bang. Mrs. Lin cursed "dead pig head", took her umbrella and went out to look for Mr. Lin.
Unexpectedly, Mr. Lin was standing outside the corridor, with cigarette butts on the ground under the street lamp. Mrs. Lin walked over, and Mr. Lin took a deep breath, then stamped out the cigarette butt and said, "It’s the last one. I’ll quit after I smoked it."
That night, Mr. Lin After taking Mrs. Lin home, Mrs. Lin saw that the pocket of his jeans was bulging. She reached out and touched it, and it turned out to be a bottle of folic acid.
After that, Mr. Lin resigned from the school and joined the newspaper office. When his second daughter was one month old, he had obtained an official press pass and never touched a cigarette again.
6
Ansheng learned about the immigration of Milk Tea's sister from his mother's mouth.
He was a little disappointed and asked repeatedly:
"Is there really no contact address there?"
At that time, he had very good grades and passed the exam. Entered a key junior high school. His mother said that she and his "black dad" hoped that he would become a postman after graduation and make money to support the family as soon as possible, but his ideal was to be a teacher.
After my mother gave birth to her second sister, she no longer made snacks to support the family. Black's dad built a pigsty in the backyard and raised five piglets at home. The second sister is very cute, and he likes her very much, but not like the sister who likes milk tea. After the holidays, he no longer went to his mother's cotton factory to play. Sometimes he would write letters to his milk tea sister. Silly, he wrote many letters one after another, but he didn't know where to send them.
After the second sister was born, the relationship between Ansheng and his black father eased a lot. An Sheng felt that he was not a bad person, and would sometimes talk to him at the dinner table. One night, my father specially bought a tube of rice cake. He picked up a piece, dipped it in peanut butter and handed it to Ansheng. Ansheng took the rice cake and took a bite. He suddenly remembered the "beauty lady" in the snow country in the past and burst into tears. gush out. Afraid that his mother would see her, he suddenly ran to the backyard and cried bitterly in front of the five piglets.
7
When Mrs. Lin graduated from University, Mr. Lin had already stayed at the school to teach. Before their eldest son was born, it was the freest and happiest time in their lives.
But that was not the feeling at the time. Because her mother had always opposed their marriage, Mrs. Lin almost cut off contact with her parents in the first few years of their marriage. Mr. Lin initially lived in the single dormitory of a faculty member. After getting married, they rented a small apartment near the school.
Although the two have plenty of spare time, they are not so free to control it. Mr. Lin is very filial. As long as there is a suitable vacation, he will take her to take the tram back to his hometown to stay for a while. From Taipei to Ruifang, from Ruifang to Yilan, and then transfer to Hualien via Yilan. She loved him stubbornly at that time, watching him stare motionlessly at the scenery outside the car window. The setting sun slides down from the top of the distant mountains, and the clouds tug at them, wandering all over the sky as if they are fleeing the wilderness. He opened the car window and let the evening breeze blow his long hair away, revealing his bright forehead without the wrinkles of time. The tram stopped and went all the way, bumpy for several hours, just like this, the sun went down, the morning went dark, the cold came and the heat came.
Travel expenses were very expensive, and I couldn’t save any money in those years, so I was very strapped when I gave birth to a child. My parents-in-law traveled to Taipei by train and boat to visit them. Mrs. Lin was lying in the bedroom and saw the man and her father outside the window, pushing the "red envelope" around. She was a little unhappy, but after eating a few mouthfuls of country snacks brought by her mother-in-law, she quickly became happy.
8
Ansheng has learned to speak a lot of English and can skillfully find the Great Barrier Reef and the Polynesian Islands on the map.
He no longer liked talking to the piglets in the backyard, and finally realized that writing letters was a silly thing. He spent a lot of effort to persuade his mother to let him go to high school. In the end, he vowed that as long as he took the joint entrance examination, he would feel free to take the exam to be a courier at China Post. The mother's heart softened and she agreed to him.
At that time, the efficiency of the cotton mill was already not good, there were many layoffs, and only one mother and father could be left. Later, my mother moved to a supermarket in the town. She was not literate enough and could not work as a cashier or shopping guide. She could only work as a cleaning lady in the back warehouse. Black Abba’s fitter skills were pretty good and he finally kept his job. The days were stumbling and I could barely hold on.
There are many boys in the high school who are trying to pick up girls, and there are also girls who have chased him. He would occasionally chuckle when opening a love letter, but most of the time he still felt inferior. Falling in love costs money, he can't afford it, and he doesn't want to. Thinking that he will never be a teacher again and will leave school forever, every minute he spends in the classroom becomes extremely valuable.
9
Mrs. Lin was not Mrs. Lin’s first love.
When she was in a private high school, she had always liked a Chinese-Australian boy named Henry. The flower boy had poor grades but was very good at fighting. I have forgotten since when, Mrs. Lin harbored a heroic dream in her heart, imagining that the lover of her dreams should be brave enough to take her through thousands of mountains and rivers and fly to the end of the world.
Henry satisfied her imagination of "heroic dream". Since they all speak Mandarin, they got along quickly. He took her for a ride on his motorcycle, took her to the bar to drink and play darts, took her to meet his little brother, and witnessed the club's fight. The days were free and easy, and Mrs. Lin felt extremely happy. If she was not satisfied, it was because Henry was a little selfish, and he didn't know how to take care of girls' feelings - but this pair of girls in love did not pose any fatal threat: because , handsome is enough.
During that time, Mrs. Lin’s grades dropped sharply. Her parents soon discovered her problem and forced her to break up with Henry and transfer to another district. Mrs. Lin reluctantly cooperated at first, but later, when her parents were not paying attention, she sneaked out of the house to go on a date with Henry, only to find that he had already found a new love. This is not surprising. For a boy like him, there is never a shortage of girls around him. .
When Mrs. Lin found them on the street corner, Henry was pushing his big motorcycle. The girl jumped on the motorcycle skillfully. Henry kissed the girl's forehead gently and pinched the girl's forehead. Butt - he had done this to Mrs. Lin before, but the blond girl didn't smile shyly like Mrs. Lin, but stretched out her arms and casually slapped Henry's neck loudly. Henry laughed. Laughing, riding a horse.
"Obviously they are a better match." An idea flashed through Mrs. Lin's mind, and the truth was not very depressing.
After being simply disappointed for a while, Mrs. Lin began to study with peace of mind, and cooperated with her parents' wishes and went to Taiwan to take the joint entrance examination, which finally reassured her parents.
10
When An Sheng received the admission notice from National Taiwan University, he was not happy at all. After the second sister went to school, the five black pigs were also sold. There is no money left in the family to support him.
He forced himself to go to the post office in the town to inquire about the post office job, and only rushed back when it was dark. That night, his mother handed him a stack of money and whispered to him that his "black "Abba" found a part-time job as an equipment installer in the Serpentine Mine factory, and the income was pretty good. Abba told him to go to school with confidence, and that as long as his waist could bear it, he would be able to support his studies through college.
"But working in the mines is too dangerous."
"Your father said he would be careful."
11
Mrs. Lin will never forget the first time she met her husband in college. It was at the welcome dance. He walked over from a distance, tall and straight, and seemed to catch her eyes immediately. In fact, it was her husband who recognized her first.
An unreal secret of joy flashed through his heart, as if he didn't know how to word it to open up the situation.
——"Hi, do you think I look familiar?"
——"Hey, did you grow up in Australia?"
Or It was: "Classmate, are you from Hualien?"
He let his thoughts swirl in his mind, smiled shyly at her, and said: "Hey! You know the smallest person in the world Is your dog a Chihuahua?"
This was a terrible opening. Mrs. Lin was caught off guard by his question and whispered back: "What's your name?"
He was stunned at first. , paused obviously, and said word by word: "My name is Lin Ansheng."