In real life, some people are square, some people are smooth, some people are square and some people are smooth. From this perspective, the characters present four forms: inside and outside, inside and outside, inside and outside, inside and outside. "What song to sing on what mountain." When dealing with people of different forms, we should use different communication methods.
First, be honest and smooth with people both inside and outside.
In daily communication, some people are straight and angular, and are not very attractive. They are often too straightforward, too affectionate, too bloody and too arrogant. They tend to take things very seriously and leave no room; Work input, too prominent; Energetic, it is inevitable to make public; Great, forget the balance. If they insist that it is my fault, I will admit that I will never push things around; If it's your fault, it's your fault, and you can't shirk it if you want. People in this form are people from the inside out. The appearance is consistent and impartial, which is a good evaluation of these people. "Five buckets of rice don't bend over" is the song allusion set by this kind of person. Loyal Qu Yuan and upright and selfless Bao Zheng are typical representatives of such figures. If society lacks such people, it is inconceivable, because they are air cleaners and a stumbling block to ugly behavior.
When dealing with such people, you must be honest. People at home and abroad will not hide, duplicity. They are trustworthy and worthy of respect, so treat them with sincerity, care and love. If you are hypocritical and doubt them, they will often have a strong dislike, and they will also show this dissatisfaction on their faces, thus widening the psychological distance between you. Second, be tactful. People at home and abroad are dull and inflexible, which often puts some people in an awkward position, so we should pay attention to tact when dealing with them. When you see the population at home and abroad at a glance, you should change the subject in an appropriate way, or give silent praise and clever guidance. Inside and outside are pure-hearted, upright and selfless people. You shouldn't be angry with them just because they stabbed you.
A great writer at home and abroad received a letter, the author of which was a young man at the peak of his life. The young man said that he would write a novel with him. The great writer was a little angry after reading it. He wrote unreservedly in the letter: "Sir, how can you be so bold?" I actually want to put a noble horse and a humble donkey in the same car. "The young man had a brainwave and wrote at the beginning of his reply:" Dear sir, how can you flatter me like this and compare me to a horse? In the second half of the letter, the young man wrote in detail his writing specialty, potential, necessity and feasibility of cooperation and his influence on the growth of young people. The great writer laughed when he received the letter, and immediately replied, "Friend, you are very interesting. Please send me the manuscript. I'm happy to accept your suggestion. "In this case, the young people misinterpreted the original intention, humorous, sincere, unexpected, and persuaded the great writer.
Second, be polite to people outside the circle.
When going straight will hurt others' self-esteem, when being angular will put them in an awkward position, and when the square can't achieve satisfactory results, some people will adopt a smooth and flexible strategy. Obviously it is correct, we should stick to it without hesitation, but because the resistance to persistence is too great, we will play dumb against our will; Obviously wrong, we should refute it with confidence, but for our own self-interest, we suppress silence. These people would rather lie down than be jealous; Weigh the pros and cons of everything, and never get emotional. These people are inside and outside the circle. They live an honest and clean life, are experienced in dealing with the world, are passive in Nuo Nuo, and are cautious, principled and flexible. Because they are smart, hard-working, but not exposed, their emotions are invisible, smooth and versatile, and they are often comfortable in complex interpersonal relationships and interest relationships. When the building is about to collapse, people inside and outside the circle will form pillars to support endangered buildings with people outside the circle. Zhuge Liang, who is observant of the world, and Zeng Guofan, who is modest and self-disciplined, are typical representatives of such figures.
Dealing with such people should be polite and reasonable. People with inner and outer circles are easy-going on the surface, but in fact they hate rudeness, evil and rudeness. They can't be close friends with such people. If you want to shorten the psychological distance with such people, you must show your positive, healthy and upward communication mentality. Humiliate, condescending words and deeds, as little as possible in front of these people, so as to get the recognition of such people. Second, we must be temperate. A person with an inner circle and an outer circle will not show his dissatisfaction on his face even if he is quite disgusted with others. On the surface, he is friendly to you, but his heart makes you unpredictable. Therefore, when treating them, we should pay attention to discretion and discretion, and don't push your luck just because he has a smile on his face.
Mr. Lei is a wealthy overseas Chinese. He wants to visit a poor and backward hometown and set up a factory. Mayor Wang who received him was very enthusiastic. First, he invited him to a small party in the hotel. Unable to save face, Mr. Lei had to "do as the Romans do". But Mr. Lei is not good at drinking. After a few drinks, he blushed and shook his head and refused to drink. However, in order to show "friendship with the landlord", it is difficult for the township head Wang not to let him drink enough. So he said all the good things and advised him to "go in again" and "go in again" for a glass of wine. Mr. Lei didn't forget his modesty, and managed to have a few more drinks. After drinking, Wang Xiangchang urged Mr. Lei to "OK" in order to show his "hospitality". Originally, Mr. Lei didn't like singing, but in order not to hurt the self-esteem of Wang Xiangchang, he stayed with him all night. The next day, Mr. Lei left 1000 yuan to pay for yesterday's entertainment and left this still barren home. The steward Wang wondered. Mr. Lei is always in high spirits. Why did he leave suddenly? Alas! Township head Wang doesn't understand Mr. Lei's characteristics: he is old-fashioned in heart, and he wastes time without the intimidation and inducement of township head Rainbow; External but flexible, do not blame face to face, do not lose grace. What if the flight attendant Wang was polite when he received Mr. Lei?
Third, people with inner and outer circles should have order.
In life, some people are good at studying "personnel" and focus on personal interests. When the head is low, the incense burns and the relationship is pulled. Confused, confused. When you start, you will start. He is not only tactful and sophisticated in dealing with people, but also has no inner constraints and commandments for himself, and rarely asks the true meaning of life. When you meet something good, show your face, and grab something favorable; When something bad happens, something unknown, something unprofitable, just push it. This figure is a person with an inner ring and an outer ring. Unlike people inside and outside the circle, they generally don't sympathize with the weak, help the poor, and even calculate and distort people for personal interests. The representatives of such people are some street hooligans and street thugs. Because of their lack of indomitable spirit, they generally will not become great people.
Dealing with such people should be orderly. Because deep down, they don't have any rules to follow, so they may play tricks that look gorgeous and bright, but actually harm others and benefit themselves. We should clearly correct their improper practices, and don't be embarrassed to tell the truth because we love face too much, which will wronged ourselves. In addition, when working with people with inner and outer circles, be careful and don't trust them too much. People with inner and outer circles are well aware of their own shortcomings, so they are also afraid that others will be disloyal and faithless. Therefore, when dealing with such people, we should send them a clear signal: if you keep your word, then I will keep my promise. Under the guidance of this practice, they can drive on the correct communication rules.
Wang Er of a company is a typical person with an inner circle and an outer circle. One thing can illustrate this problem. A colleague went out on business, and Wang Er smiled and asked him to bring some goods. After his colleague delivered the goods he bought to him, Wang Er just forgot to give money. After ten and a half days, Wang Er asked seriously, as if nothing had happened, "Did I give you money? Don't be embarrassed? " One hundred and eighty dollars. Who can be serious with him? In this way, Wang Erbaibai made a little bargain from his colleagues, and he was very happy with the success of his little skill. In this case, Wang Er seized people's weaknesses for personal gain. In this regard, Wang Er's colleagues should not conceal the truth. He should make it clear that Wang Er didn't give money. In this case, you will neither suffer nor offend Wang Er.
Fourth, the inner circle of foreign personnel should be flexible.
Some people open their mouths for the benefit of the people and keep their mouths shut for the sake of party discipline and state law, but their bellies are full of thieves, prostitutes and personal interests. They were impassioned on the stage, but they looked like gentlemen, but they did some dirty things under the stage. This kind of person is full of benevolence and righteousness in front of the leaders and the masses, but he knows exactly what kind of person he is in his heart. People in this form are people in the inner circle and the outer circle. It's deceptive because it's a double-sided scam. They are excellent actors on the big stage of life. Corrupt officials with golden auras and villains in gorgeous coats are typical representatives of such figures. They are good at packaging themselves, and when they peel off this package, they reveal their true colors. "Gold and jade are outside, but they are defeated" is an appropriate evaluation of them.
We should be flexible in dealing with such people. Because they pay lip service, if we don't listen to them and trust them completely, we can't deal with them. How to communicate, what strategy to use, what way to use and what to say should be mastered flexibly according to the situation at that time, and must not be fascinated by their "wonderful exposition" and walk into a dead end. To deal with this kind of person, the first task is to analyze his true heart according to all aspects of information, and then prescribe the right medicine and guide him skillfully. Only in this way can they be brought into the correct communication track.
Xiao Song wanted to go through the marriage registration formalities with his lover before studying abroad, but Director Yan of the Marriage Registration Office of the Civil Affairs Bureau who received them said, "Xiao Song, you are still two months away from the registration age! There are provisions in the law, not to mention two months, that is, two hours is not enough. " No way, two people went home with sad faces. The neighbor who worked in the public security bureau said after hearing about it: "The birth time on the ID card is not accurate. How can it be two hours away? " This director Yan must be a duplicitous person. According to our local regulations, a situation like yours should be dealt with. Tell you what, when you go again tomorrow, tell your uncle, the classmate of Director Li of the Civil Affairs Bureau and Director Chi of the Public Security Bureau that Director Yan is well-connected and sympathetic to the people's feelings, and will actively strive for leadership support and give a care index. "The next day, this statement really took effect. Director Yan pondered for a long time and said to them, "Yesterday afternoon, we just received the documents from our superiors. Young men and women with special circumstances should be taken care of. So, you fill out the registration form "So things went smoothly. Director Ma is a typical figure with an inner circle and an outer circle. On the surface, he dressed himself up as a hypocritical and disloyal figure, but his stomach was full of GREAT GHOST boys, which was the "image" of a tree and full of lies. According to the tip of the late section chief, the Xiao Song couple made some changes, so the problem was solved. If our society wants to develop healthily, we must not take people like Director Yan as an important task.
==============
Sultan dreamed that all his teeth had fallen out. So, when he woke up, he called a wise man to explain his dream. The wise man said, "Your Majesty, you are unfortunate. Every time you lose a tooth, it means that you will lose a relative. "
Sultan was furious: "How dare you talk nonsense, you audacious fanatic?"? Get out! "
Later, he had the wise man's 100 board played.
The Sultan ordered another wise man to be called and told his dream. After listening carefully, the wise man said to the Sudan, "Your Majesty, you are so happy! This is an auspicious dream, which means that you will live longer than the person you love. "
Sultan was overjoyed and was rewarded with 100 gold coins.
When the wise man walked out of the palace, a porter said to him inexplicably, "It's hard to imagine! Your interpretation of dreams is actually the same as that of the first wise man. Why did he get punished and you got rewarded? "
The second wise man said earnestly, "It's very simple, everything is decided by the way of expression."
Many times, happiness and misfortune, life and life are all tied in one sentence. Tell the truth at all times, but tell the truth gently. Sometimes, being too sincere can lead to serious problems.
Being a man and dealing with life is like a jewel. If you pick it up and throw it in someone's face, it will cause harm. However, if you add a smooth and sincere proposal, the other party will certainly accept it.