You are sensitive by nature and deeply afraid of contact with the outside world and strangers. When you meet a stranger for the first time, you usually don't get your trust and affection.
You should be a beautiful girl, confident in your appearance and temperament, or you have never worried about your appearance.
If you are not 100% satisfied with the pursuit of the opposite sex (or boyfriend), you can consider relaxing the standards, because no one is perfect and the money is not enough. Too high a requirement will only delay you.
You have resistance and fear to men and women, but you don't have to worry about it. Just respect yourself, because things haven't arrived yet. But we still have to understand this matter and face it squarely.
It's normal that you care about your family, because most people in China regard home as a part of their bodies. I hope you have a successful career and let your family live a better life.
Your study or career is under great pressure, which comes from many aspects. In fact, just relax yourself and do your best, and don't care too much about the result. If you focus on the results blindly, it will affect your efforts.
I wish you happiness