Death is liberation, not all bad. Explain that your subconscious is eager to get rid of the shackles, live freely, and do whatever you want. Lying in a hospital bed represents what binds you in life, and your soul is your subconscious. But I also know in my heart that I want to live according to these bound things, so you didn't die in your dream.
Your perseverance is still quite strong.
Take it easy when you encounter something, and bite your teeth and it will pass.