2. Pessimism and optimism
There are twins with different personalities. My brother is an out-and-out pessimist, and my brother is like a born optimist. On Christmas Eve when they were 8 years old, the family wanted to change their extreme personality and prepared different gifts for them: a brand-new bike for their brother and a box full of horse manure for his brother.
It's time to open the presents. Everyone is waiting to see their reaction.
My brother first opened his huge box and began to cry: "You know I can't ride a bike! And it's snowing so hard outside! " Just as his parents were scrambling to cheer him up, his younger brother curiously opened his box-the room was suddenly filled with the smell of horse manure. Unexpectedly, my brother gave a whoop of cheer, and then looked around happily: "Tell me, where did you hide the horse?"
Tips: For a pessimistic person, there is no suitable stool in the world; For a happy person, even if it is raining, his heart is bright.
Are you in the well, too?
One day, a farmer's donkey accidentally fell into a dry well. The farmer racked his brains to find a way to save the donkey, but several hours later, the donkey was still whining in the well.
Finally, the farmer decided to give up. He thinks the donkey is too old to save it, but the well must be filled in anyway. So the farmer invited his neighbor to help him bury the donkey in the well to avoid its pain.
The farmer's neighbor, with a shovel in his hand, began to shovel dirt into the dry well. When the donkey realized his situation, it began to cry in pain. But surprisingly, the donkey was quiet after a while. The farmer looked curiously at the bottom of the well, and the scene before him surprised him:
When the dirt shoveled into the well fell on the donkey's back, the donkey's reaction was amazing-it shook off the dirt and stood on the shoveled pile!
In this way, the donkey shook off all the dirt that everyone shoveled on it at the bottom of the well and stood up. Soon, the donkey proudly rose to the wellhead, and then ran away with everyone's surprised expression!
Just like a donkey, in the journey of life, sometimes we will inevitably fall into a "dry well" and be dumped on us by various "sands". The secret of getting out of these "dry wells" is to shake off the "sediment" and then stand on it!
Tips: In fact, all kinds of difficulties and setbacks we encounter in life are "silt" imposed on us;
However, from another perspective, they are also stepping stones. As long as we shake them off persistently and then stand up, we can get out of trouble safely even if we fall into the deepest well. At first, it seemed that the donkey was going to be buried alive, but because of its different attitude towards the environment, it actually helped it, which is also one of the factors that changed its fate. If we face difficulties with a positive and calm attitude, help is often hidden in the difficulties. Everything depends on yourself, learn to let go of all gains and losses, and move forward bravely towards your own ideals.
We should constantly build confidence, hope and unconditional love, which are tools to help us get out of the dry well of life and find ourselves.
4. Success is just a state of mind.
There used to be a conscientious old cleaner in the Kremlin. She said: "My job is similar to Yeltsin's. Yeltsin is cleaning up Russia and I am cleaning up the Kremlin. Everyone is doing their own thing. " How relaxed and happy she spoke, very touching and thought-provoking. The old cleaner in the Kremlin is a common people with low status in front of dignitaries, but she does not feel inferior. She also humorously compares her work with that of the president, which shows that she is open-minded. Whether it is the king of a country or a grass-roots people, they are doing what they should do. Therefore, she carefully cleans up the dust and garbage in the red wall every day, and at the same time cleans up the depression and confusion scattered in her heart.
Tips: People have different posts, but they all serve the people and the society. If you can correctly understand your work and correct your mentality, your heart will be full of sunshine.
5, beyond the freezing point in my heart
In an American railway company, there is a shunting operator named Nick. He is serious and responsible for his work, but he has one shortcoming, that is, he is very pessimistic about life and often looks at the world with negative eyes. One day, my colleague left in a hurry to celebrate his boss's birthday. Unfortunately, Nick was accidentally locked in the freezer and couldn't open the door. So he knocked and shouted desperately in the freezer, but no one came to open the door for him because everyone in the company had left except him. Nick's hands were red and swollen, and his throat was hoarse. No one paid attention to it. Finally, he had to sit on the ground in despair and breathe. He thought the temperature in the freezer was below MINUS 20 degrees, and he would definitely freeze to death if he didn't go out. The more he thought about it, the more terrible it became. Finally, he had to find a pen and paper with trembling hands and write a suicide note. In the suicide note, he wrote: "I knew I would definitely freeze to death in such a cold freezer, so …" When the company staff opened the freezer the next day, they found Nick's body. Colleagues were surprised because the freezing switch in the freezer didn't start, and there was enough oxygen in this huge freezer, so Nick froze to death!
Actually, Nick didn't die of the temperature in the freezer, and the autopsy report also showed that there was no possibility of murder or sudden death. So what was the reason? He died of the freezing point of his heart. Because he couldn't believe this frozen car, which never stopped freezing easily, happened to be unable to start the refrigeration system because of maintenance. His doubts made him afraid to even try, but he firmly believed that he would freeze to death.
Tips: This phenomenon is usually called negative suggestion effect in psychology. Pessimists often feel sorry for themselves, get sick and may even lead to death. On the contrary, it is positive psychological suggestion. The so-called positive psychological suggestion, in layman's terms, means that you firmly believe that you can do what you want, that you can successfully complete your tasks, that you can achieve your life goals, and that you are full of confidence. (From: Psychology E-mail Edition, 2003, 2 1)
6. The greatest misfortune
A man was framed at the age of 23 and spent nine years in prison. Later, the unjust case was solved and he finally walked out of the prison. After he was released from prison, he began to repeatedly accuse and curse all the year round: "I am really unfortunate. I was wronged at the youngest and most promising time and spent the best time in prison. Such a prison is not a place where people live at all, and it is so narrow that it is difficult to turn around. There is almost no bright sunshine in the only small window, which is unbearable in winter; Mosquito bites in summer ... I really don't understand why God doesn't punish the guy who framed me. Even if it is chopped into pieces, my hatred is hard to eliminate! " At the age of 73, he was finally bedridden in poverty and illness. On his deathbed, the priest came to his bedside: "Poor boy, before you go to heaven, confess all your sins in the world …" As soon as the priest's voice fell, he shouted at the top of his lungs: "I have nothing to confess. What I need is to curse those who have given me unfortunate fate …" The priest asked: "How many years have you been in prison for unjust imprisonment? How many years have you lived since you got out of prison? " He maliciously told the priest the figures. The priest sighed: "poor man, you are really the most unfortunate person in the world." I really feel very sympathetic and sad about your misfortune! " But others imprisoned you for only nine years, and when you got out of prison, you should be free forever, but you imprisoned yourself for 4 1 year with heartfelt hatred, complaints and curses! "
Tips: The greatest misfortune in life is that you have imprisoned your mind and never see the sunshine. If you want to live happily, open your mind.
7. Carrying a boat on the road
A young man came all the way to find the boundless master with a big package on his back. He said, "Master, I'm so lonely, so miserable, so lonely, and the long journey has exhausted me to the extreme;" My shoes are torn and thorns cut my feet; My hand is hurt and bleeding. Because I cried for too long, my voice was hoarse ... why can't I find the sunshine in my heart? "
The master asked, "What's in your big package?" The young man said, "It means a lot to me. It contains the pain of every fall, every cry after injury, every lonely worry ... only through it can I come to you. "
So the boundless master took the youth to the river and they crossed the river by boat. After landing, the master said, "You carry the boat and go quickly!" "What, carrying a boat on the road?" The young man was surprised. "It's so heavy, can I carry it?" "Yes, son, you can't take it." The master smiled and said, "when crossing the river, the boat is useful." But when we cross the river, we will put down the boat and continue our way. Otherwise, it will become our burden. Pain, loneliness, loneliness, disaster and tears are all useful to life. They can sublimate life, but if you don't forget them, they will become a burden to life. Put the gun down. Children, life can't be too heavy. " The young man put down his luggage and went on his way. He found his pace relaxed and happy, much faster than before. It turns out that life is not so heavy.
Reminder: On the journey of life, if you always carry luggage and can never move forward, then you can only go further if you put down your luggage and go into battle lightly.
Step 8 record sunlight
There was once an Arctic expedition in the Arctic. Captain Bede assigned a task to the team members, asking everyone to keep a diary every day besides recording the inspection log. Diary mainly describes the scenery in the sun.
Due to the date delay, the expedition team could not return in time and had to stay for a long time in the dark, cold and lonely night. The players found that darkness and cold were tolerable, but loneliness made everyone crazy. At this time, Captain Bede announced: "Now I want to check your diaries, please read them in turn!" " "People are very quiet, and only readers tell stories very emotionally in the sun. People seem to see the silver snowfield, the running posture of flocks of penguins, the polar bear climbing from the water to the ice, and all the beautiful things in the sun. In this way, every time I read my diary aloud, people will think of many beautiful things, and my irritability and anxiety will be swept away, and my heart will be completely occupied by beautiful dreams and memories.
Tips: As long as your heart is full of sunshine, even if you fall into the dark and cold abyss of the horizon, your heart and your world will be bright and warm.
9. Lose to pessimism
Long ago, a group of Indians were chased by white people and fled to a certain place. Their situation is very dangerous. Because of the critical situation, the chief called all the people to talk. He said, "There are some things I have to tell you. Our situation looks terrible. I have good news and bad news here. " There was an immediate commotion in the crowd. The chief said, "First of all, I want to tell you a bad news." Everyone stood nervously, waiting for the chief's words in fear. He said, "We have nothing to eat except buffalo feed." Everyone began to discuss word by word, and the voices of "terrible" and "what can we do" were everywhere. Suddenly a brave man asked, "What's the good news?" The chief replied, "That is, we still have a lot of buffalo feed."
I like this story very much. It is because of this wisdom that the chief is slightly humorous, because he still maintains a calm and open-minded attitude in the predicament of death, and all he sees is the hope of life. A person who will not despair in the face of bad luck is doomed to be a person who will never be defeated by life.
Tips: In fact, we have failed many times in our lives, and it is not who we lose in the end, but our pessimistic self.
10, the stone in my heart
What hinders us from discovering and creating is only our psychological obstacles and stubborn stones in our minds.
Once upon a time, there was a big stone in a family's garden, about 40 cm wide and 10 cm high. People who go to the vegetable garden will accidentally kick the big stone, either falling or scratching.
The son asked, "Dad, why don't you dig up that disgusting stone?"
Dad replied, "You mean that stone? It has been put into the present since your grandfather's time. It is so big that I don't know when it will be dug. It is better to walk carefully and exercise your reaction ability. "
After a few years, this big stone was left to the next generation. At that time, my son married a daughter-in-law and became a father.
One day, my daughter-in-law said angrily, "Dad, the big stones in the vegetable garden are making me uncomfortable more and more. Please ask someone to move another day. "
Dad replied, "Forget it! That big stone is heavy. If I could move, I moved when I was a child. How can I stay until now? "
Daughter-in-law's heart is very bad I don't know how many times that big stone made her fall.
One morning, the daughter-in-law took a hoe and a bucket of water and poured the whole bucket of water around the big stone.
10 minutes later, the daughter-in-law used a hoe to loosen the soil around the big stone.
Daughter-in-law has been psychologically prepared and may have to dig for a day. No one expected that the stone would be dug up in a few minutes. Look at the size. This stone is not as big as expected, and it was deceived by its huge appearance.
Tips: You can't climb the mountain with the idea of going down. If your world is dull and hopeless, it is because you are dull and hopeless. To change your world, you must first change your mentality.
1 1, take the exam.
A scholar went to Beijing for the third time to catch the exam, and lived in the store where he used to live. Two days before the exam, he had two dreams: the first dream was that he planted cabbage on the wall; The second dream is rain. He is wearing a hat and an umbrella. These two dreams seem to have some profound meanings, so the scholar hurried to find a fortune-telling dream interpretation the next day. Hearing this, the fortune teller patted his thigh continuously and said, "You'd better go home. Think about it. Isn't it futile to grow vegetables on high walls? Isn't it unnecessary to wear a hat and an umbrella? " Hearing this, the scholar was disheartened and went back to the store to pack his bags and prepare to go home. The shopkeeper was surprised and asked, "Isn't there an exam tomorrow? How did you go back to your hometown today? " When the scholar said this, the shopkeeper was happy: "Hey, I can also interpret dreams. I think you must stay this time. Think about it, isn't it high to grow vegetables on the wall? Doesn't wearing a hat and an umbrella mean that you are prepared this time? " Hearing this, the scholar made more sense, so he took the exam happily and got a flower exploration.
Tips: Positive people, like the sun, shine wherever they shine; Negative people are like the moon, but the fifteenth day of the first lunar month is different. Ideas determine our lives. What kind of ideas, what kind of future.
12, please don't open the wrong window.
A little girl lay on the windowsill, watching the people outside the window bury her beloved puppy, and couldn't help but burst into tears. When her grandfather saw this scene, he quickly took her to another window and let her enjoy his rose garden. Sure enough, the little girl's mood suddenly became clear. The old man held up his granddaughter's chin and said, "Son, you opened the wrong window."
Tips: Open the window next to failure, and maybe you will see hope.
(2) Confidence
13, it's beautiful to hold your head up and hold your chest high.
Although it is a black cow, the milk is white.
Jenny is a little girl who always lowers her head. She always feels that she is not beautiful enough. One day, she went to the jewelry store and bought a green bow. The shopkeeper kept praising her for wearing a beautiful bow. Although Jenny doesn't believe it, she is very happy. She couldn't help raising her head, eager to show it to everyone. It doesn't matter if she accidentally bumped into someone when she went out.
Jenny walked into the classroom and met her teacher head-on. "Jenny, how beautiful you look with your head held high!" "The teacher lovingly patted her on the shoulder and said.
That day, she was praised by many people. She thought it must be a bow, but when she looked in front of the mirror, there was no bow on her head. She must have lost it when she came out of the jewelry store.
Self-confidence is a kind of beauty, but many people lose a lot of happiness because they care too much about appearance.
Tips: Whether you are poor or rich, whether you look like a fairy or plain, as long as you hold your head high, happiness will make you cute-the kind that everyone likes.
14, the value of life
Let yesterday's depression overshadow tomorrow's dreams!
At a seminar, a famous speaker held a $20 bill in his hand and didn't make an opening speech.
Facing the 200 people in the meeting room, he asked, "Who wants this $20?" Put one hand up. He went on to say, "I want to give this $20 to one of you, but before that, please allow me to do one thing." As he spoke, he crumpled up the money and asked, "Who wants more?" There are people holding hands.
He added, "Well, what if I do this?" He threw the money on the ground, stepped on it and ran it over with his foot. Then he picked up the dirty and wrinkled bill.
"Who wants it now?" Someone still raised their hands.
"My friends, you had a very meaningful lesson. No matter how I treat that bill, you still want it, because it hasn't depreciated, and it's still worth 20 dollars. On the road of life, we will be knocked down, bullied or even crushed by our own decisions or adversity countless times. We feel as if we are worthless. But no matter what happens, or what will happen, you will never lose value in the eyes of God. In his view, dirty or clean, dressed neatly or sloppy, you are still priceless. "
Tips: The value of life lies not in what we do, nor in who we make friends with, but in ourselves! We are unique-never forget this!
Draw a leaf for life.
As long as you believe, there will always be miracles. Although the hope is slim, it will last forever.
American writer Ou; Henry told a story in his novel The Last Leaf: In the ward, a dying patient saw a tree outside the window from his room and fell down one by one in the autumn wind. The patient looked at the rustling leaves in front of him and his health went from bad to worse. She said, "When all the leaves are gone, I will die." When an old painter learned about it, he drew a leaf with green veins with a colored pen and hung it on a branch.
The last leaf never fell. Because of the green color in life, the patient miraculously survived.
Tip: Life can be without many things, but only without hope. Hope is an important value of human life. Where there is hope, life is endless!
16, Flying Spider
Faith is a ruthless force. When you believe that you can succeed, you will succeed.
One day, I found a black spider making a big net between two eaves in the backyard. Can spiders fly? Otherwise, from this cornice to that cornice, there are more than ten feet wide in the middle. How is the first line pulled? Later, I found that the spider took many detours-starting from a cornice, knotting, walking along the wall, climbing step by step, carefully raising its tail to prevent the spider silk from touching the sand, stones or other objects on the ground, walking through the clearing, then climbing the opposite cornice, and then tying the spider silk tightly, and so on.
Tip: Spiders can't fly, but they can make webs in mid-air. It is a diligent, sensitive, silent and tenacious insect, and its net is exquisite and regular, with Zhang Kaicheng gossip shape, as if with the help of God. Such an achievement reminds people of those who are taciturn and some hidden wise men. Then, I remembered that a spider can't fly, but it still weaves a web in the air. Miracles are caused by persistent people.
17, it is better to ask for help than to ask for help.
A devout Buddhist encountered difficulties and went to the temple to worship Guanyin. When I walked into the temple, I found a man worshipping in front of Guanyin statue. That man looks exactly like Guanyin, not bad at all.
"Are you Guanyin?"
"yes."
"Then why do you still worship yourself?"
"Because I also encountered difficulties." Guanyin smiled. "But I know that it is better to ask yourself than to ask others."
Warm tip: Guanyin is Guanyin because she doesn't ask for others when she encounters difficulties, but asks for herself.
18, the deciding copper coin.
This is a story in Zen. In ancient times, there was a clever and brave general. Once, he led the army against the enemy, and the strength of the two sides was far from each other. All his troops are only one-tenth of the other's, so all the soldiers are a little lacking in confidence. The general went to a temple to ask God for advice. Then, he took out a copper coin and said in front of all the soldiers, "victory or defeat is in heaven, let the gods decide our fate!" " If the copper coins fall face up, God will bless us invincible; If we face down, it is God who makes us fail, so we have to resign ourselves to fate. "General said, and gently throw, copper fell to the ground, face up, the whole army immediately happy. Then the general threw it again, still heads. In this way, the soldiers were full of joy and morale, and finally won. After the triumphant return, the soldiers took the initiative to thank the gods for their blessing. At this time, the general took out copper coins for everyone to see. It turns out that this copper coin is positive on both sides. The soldiers suddenly realized that it was not the gods who blessed them to win, but themselves.
Tips: It is better to seek God than yourself, and believing in yourself will always be our magic weapon to win.
19, the secret of life
Thirty years ago, a young man left his hometown and started his own future. His first stop was to visit the patriarch of his own family and ask for advice. The old patriarch is practicing calligraphy. He heard that a junior in his family had begun to embark on the journey of life, so he wrote three words: Don't be afraid. Then he looked up at the young man and said, "Son, after 30 years of life, this once young man has reached middle age. He has made some achievements and added a lot of sadness. After a long journey home, he visited the patriarch again. When he arrived at the patriarch's house, he realized that the old man had passed away several years ago. His family took out a sealed envelope and said to him, "This was left to you by my father before his death. He said that you would come again one day. "The wanderer who came home remembered hearing half the secrets of life here 30 years ago. He opened the envelope and there were three big words in it: No regrets.
Don't be afraid before middle age, and don't regret after middle age.
Tip: Life is about moving on. Let bygones be bygones.
(3) Success and wisdom
20. Success is not as difficult as you think.
We dare not do it not because it is difficult, but because we dare not do it.
1965, a Korean student went to Cambridge University to study psychology. During afternoon tea, he often goes to the school cafe or teahouse to listen to some successful people chatting. These successful people include Nobel Prize winners, academic authorities in certain fields and some people who have created economic myths. These people are humorous and easy to lift weights. They all regard their success as natural and logical. After a long time, he found himself cheated by some successful people when he was in China. Those people generally exaggerate the hardships of starting a business in order to let those who are starting a business retreat, that is to say, they are scaring those who have not succeeded with their own successful experience.
As a student of psychology department, he thinks it is necessary to study the mentality of successful people in Korea. 1970, he took "Success is not as difficult as you think" as his graduation thesis and submitted it to Will, the founder of modern economic psychology. Professor Braden. After reading it, Professor Braden was greatly surprised. He thinks this is a new discovery. Although this phenomenon is very common in the East and even the whole world, no one has boldly proposed to study it before. Surprised, he wrote to his Cambridge alumnus park chung-hee, who was sitting at the top of Korean politics. He said in the letter: "I dare not say that this book is of any value to you."
Very helpful, but I'm sure it's more effective than any of your laws.
Vibration. "Later, this book really took off with South Korea's economy. This book has inspired many people, because it tells people from a new angle that success is not necessarily related to "stretching bones, starving the body and starving the skin", "burning the midnight oil" and "hanging the beam on the head and stabbing the leg". As long as you are interested in a certain cause, you will succeed if you persist for a long time, because God has given you enough time and wisdom to successfully complete a thing. Later, the young man also achieved success. He became the president of Pan Ye Automobile Company.
Tips: Many things in the world can be done as long as you want, and the difficulties you should overcome can also be overcome. You don't need any iron will, let alone any skill or strategy. As long as a person is living a simple and interesting life, he will eventually find that the creator's arrangement for the world is natural.
2 1, always get the ticket
Life is really interesting: if you only accept the best, you will often get the best.
There is a person who travels a lot and often can't buy the right ticket. But no matter the distance, no matter how crowded the bus is, he can always find a seat.
His method is actually very simple, that is, patiently looking for one car after another. This method doesn't sound brilliant, but it does work. Every time he is going to walk from the first car to the last car, but he doesn't have to walk to the end every time. He will find an empty seat. He said that this is because not many passengers are so persistent in finding seats. Often there are some seats left in the carriage where he sits, but at the junction of the aisles and carriages of other carriages, it is actually very crowded.
He said that most passengers are easily confused by the superficial phenomenon of one or two cars being crowded and will not think about it. In dozens of stations, there are many opportunities to provide seats in the flow of people from more than a dozen doors of the train. Even if I thought about it, I didn't have the patience to find it Most people are easily satisfied with a small foothold in front of them, and some people think it is not cost-effective to squeeze one or two seats with their bags on their backs. They are also worried that if they can't find a seat, they won't even have a place to stand back. Just like some people who are content with the status quo and afraid of failure, they can only stay at the starting point without success. Most of these passengers who are unwilling to take the initiative to find seats can only stand in the initial position when they get on the bus until they get off.
Tips: Self-confidence, persistence, foresight, and diligence in practice will make you hold a ticket for the journey of life forever.
22. Give yourself a cliff
When a China student from Shanghai first arrived in Australia, in order to find a job and make a living, he rode an old bicycle along the Australian highway for a few days, herding sheep, mowing grass, harvesting crops and washing dishes for others ... As long as he was given a bite to eat, he would temporarily stop his tired steps.
One day, working in a restaurant in Chinatown, he saw the job advertisement of Telstra in the newspaper. International students are worried that their English is not authentic and their major is not right, so he chose the position of line monitor to apply. After going through five customs and cutting six generals, you will soon get a position with an annual salary of 35 thousand. He didn't want to recruit a supervisor, but unexpectedly asked him, "Do you have a car?" Can you drive? In this job, we often go out and it is difficult to move without a car. "
Australian citizens generally have private cars, and few of them don't, but this international student was a car-free family when he first came. In order to win this attractive job, he replied without thinking: "Yes! Yes! "
"After 4 days, drive your car to work." The supervisor said.
It's hard to buy a car and learn to drive for four days, but in order to survive, international students are desperate. He borrowed 500 Australian dollars from a friend in China and bought an ugly Beetle from the used car market. On the first day, he learned simple driving skills from his friends in China. The next day, I simulated exercises on the lawn behind my friend's house. On the third day, I drove my car sideways on the road; On the fourth day, he drove to the company to report for duty. Today, he is the business director of Telstra Australia.
I don't know the professional level of this international student, but I really admire his courage. If he had been timid and dared not challenge himself, he would never have been as brilliant as he is today. At that moment, he resolutely cut off his retreat and put himself on the brink of fate. It is in the face of this situation that people will concentrate on bravely moving forward and strive for their own life orientation.
Tips: Giving yourself a cliff with no retreat is, in a sense, giving yourself an opportunity to charge for the highland of life.
23. Success Story: Self-discipline and Wisdom
On one occasion, the Berlin Air Force Club of the former GDR hosted a banquet for air combat heroes. When a young soldier poured wine, he accidentally spilled it on General Udait's bald head. Suddenly, the soldiers were terrified and the meeting was silent. Instead, the general stroked the soldier's shoulder and said, "Brother, do you think this therapy can regenerate hair?" The audience burst into laughter, people's tense heartstrings relaxed, and the feast maintained a warm and happy atmosphere.
Another story tells that the British royal family hosted a dinner in London to entertain the leaders of local Indian residents, and the Duke of Windsor hosted the dinner as the "Crown Prince". At the end of the banquet, the waiter brought a washing tray to each guest. Indian guests saw the exquisite silver vessel and thought it was drinking water, so they picked it up and drank it. The accompanying British nobles were dumbfounded. The Duke of Windsor smilingly picked up the hand washing water in front of him and drank it "naturally and appropriately" like a guest. Then, everyone followed suit, and the embarrassment that should have been caused was instantly released, and the banquet achieved the expected success.
Ji Bolun said: "Great wisdom is a great cultivation. A cultured person is good at learning. We learned silence from talkative people, tolerance from paranoid people, and kindness from cruel people. " .