Introduction: Friends often ask: If my original family were better, would I be like this? It is true that everyone's life experiences can be traced back to their original family to find the answer.
When I followed "Ode to Joy" back then, I was particularly impressed by this sentence: "A person's family of origin is a person's destiny."
Nowadays, the more people reach middle age, , the more you can figure out the deeper meaning of this sentence.
Faced with the incomprehension and confusion caused by the basically fixed life direction and the current situation of one's life, one can more or less go back to one's original family to find some answers.
The family of origin often accompanies a person's growth, from childhood to adulthood.
A good native family will help a person shape the correct outlook on life in his childhood and play a positive role in his future life path. It can cause permanent damage to a person's mind, and in severe cases can destroy his or her life.
For example, Zhang Xiaohui and Lan Jieying were born in the same year and in the same city, but their fates went to two extremes because of their very different original families.
1. The undefeated rose: Zhang Xiaohui.
Zhang Xiaohui was born in a large house in Kowloon Tong, Hong Kong in 1963. Her grandfather had been a high-ranking official, loved poetry, and her family had profound cultural literacy.
Father Zhang Jianguo was the editor-in-chief of "Wenhui Po" and later founded Canada's first Chinese TV station in 1984 and the first Chinese TV station in North America.
My mother is a lady of the family, and she has a maid to serve her when she gets married.
With such a prominent family background, Zhang Xiaohui effortlessly had a good native family and favorable material conditions as soon as she was born. She grew up in a honeypot and is a model of prosperity.
At the age of four, when a little girl is still vaguely understanding, she has already followed her mother to select clothes at Meimei Department Store and Lane Crawford.
At the age of twelve, not only did I start wearing Chanel and other brand-name clothes, I even played games with my friends to discuss how to match clothes and luxury goods.
Before I graduated from elementary school, I was tired of visiting Lane Crawford. At the eighteenth-year-old coming-of-age ceremony, she wore an evening dress specially customized for her by a famous fashion designer.
The father, who was born in a scholarly family, was very strict with Zhang Xiaohui when she was young. Every time he took his daughter out to play, he did not forget to cultivate her learning ability. He not only guided her to pack her luggage, but also supervised her. She should bring literary books and magazines and study anytime and anywhere.
After graduating from the prestigious traditional school "Maryknoll Seminary" in Hong Kong, he respected her personal interests and sent her to Canada to major in art history, English literature and aesthetics in philosophy. During the master's degree, he made a precise positioning in life: studying fashion design and museum management.
This series of education has continuously enriched Zhang Xiaohui’s vitality in life. Her family background and her own knowledge have allowed her to form her own distinct philosophy of doing things, so that when she faces changes in life in the future, she can Be calm in times of crisis and solve problems calmly and calmly.
Parents of this type of native family are basically in the upper echelons of society. In front of their children, they themselves are models of successful careers and prosperous lives. They bring their children far more than just material things.
On a deeper level, what they bring to their children is a subtle positive attitude towards life and the determination and pattern to deal with life's problems.
Therefore, children who grow up in such a family not only have good aesthetic concepts but also have a clear direction in life. They know what they like best, what they are best at, what they pursue in life, and how to live their best lives. happy.
Even if they encounter inevitable setbacks in life, they can learn from the experiences of their parents' generation to deal with them and gain the determination to make a comeback.
In 1997, when the Asian financial crisis hit, the real estate project Zhang Xiaohui and her husband Zhong Zhentao invested in failed.
In 1998, because the loan was overdue and unable to be repaid, Yutaixing Finance Company not only confiscated the two people's five luxury homes as mortgages, but also left the two with a total principal and interest of up to 250 million. Yuan's debt needs to be paid off.
The original guarantor, Chen Yaomin, Zhang Xiaohui’s confidant at the time, also quietly left Hong Kong for France.
In order to get rid of the couple’s joint debt of more than 200 million yuan, Zhong Zhentao formally applied for bankruptcy to the Hong Kong court, pushed all the debts to Zhang Xiaohui, and soon divorced Zhang Xiaohui.
At this time, Zhang Xiaohui was suffering from internal and external troubles. Not only did her ex-husband dump huge debts on her, he also wrote songs to ridicule her in front of the media. As a result, she became his trouble, a prodigal daughter, and the star of his family.
The outside media was even more gloating about the misfortune and stepped on it again, so the names of "Three White Eyes", "Cruel Prime Minister", "Buying a shirt and your husband goes bankrupt" began to resound throughout Hong Kong.
For a moment, the whole world was waiting to see her joke, but to the disappointment of the whole world, Zhang Xiaohui faced the sudden escape of the two men she had relied on before. Faced with difficulties, she had no time He had no time to complain, but was determined not to declare bankruptcy.
She always keeps a cool head and uses her wise mind to arrange her work in an orderly manner.
After the divorce, she decisively found a column-writing job with a monthly salary of HK$50,000.
With her unique aesthetic taste and excellent writing style, she can write a full 19 pages of columns in a month day and night, using the royalties she earns to support herself and her children's family, and Still maintaining a high standard of living.
Not only that, she also actively opened second-hand clothing stores, helped with radio programs, helped celebrities buy clothes to earn the price difference, and used the money earned to fight lawsuits. She bravely swallowed her heartache and pressure and put aside her worries. After losing the lawsuit, he insisted on appealing, relying on an unbeatable energy to survive the whole process, and finally won the lawsuit, confirming that his debt was reduced from 250 million to 130 million.
Even during the most difficult time in her life during the lawsuit, the media never photographed her looking embarrassed. On the contrary, she was always well-dressed and looking full and confident. The heart can be so strong that as soon as I step out of the court, I step into a high-end flower shop, choose a bouquet of blooming roses and take it home.
Faced with her ex-husband’s endless accusations, she always kept her nobility to herself and responded with disdain, “I really don’t like to look back, I like to look forward.” She was as optimistic as ever. up.
On January 16, 2018, she vowed to carry her aesthetic career to the end and opened a public account, making a domineering return and continuing to write the undefeated legend of Rose.
2. The fading famous actress: Lan Jieying.
In 1963, also in Hong Kong, a beautiful little girl was born. The difference is that Lan Jieying comes to a native family that values ??boys over girls and has an average family background.
The endless quarrels between her parents made her childhood extremely depressing.
What is even more unfortunate is that after being abandoned by her biological father, she followed her mother and remarried a man who ran a siu mei shop in Sham Shui Po.
Although her stepfather had a serious small business to make a living, he had a bad temper and would often punch and kick her and her mother over trivial matters.
It’s like this at home, and it’s not much better to go to a siu mei shop to help. Sham Shui Po is a mixed bag, and you often encounter unreasonable customers, and it’s not uncommon to get beaten and scolded.
Such a childhood growth experience not only failed to replenish the vitality of Lan Jieying's life, but also robbed her of her original confidence.
From the beginning of her life, she did not have excellent parents to provide psychological counseling. The negative psychological pressure and emotions were constantly superimposed from the beginning, and there was no outlet for venting.
Lan Jieying’s native family from a lower-class society gradually showed the characteristics of competitive, stubborn, withdrawn, pessimistic, indifferent and sensitive. These character factors paved the way for her tragic life ending in the future.
After graduating from middle school, Lan Jieying, who was eager to change her destiny, pursued the exaggerated star-making trend in society and participated in the artist training class of the TVB at a young age.
Lan Jieying, who has outstanding appearance and extraordinary talent, started her acting career very smoothly after graduation. She is full of spirituality and is able to master various roles, and she was easily selected to become the heroine. According to normal logic, a cheating life seems to be just around the corner.
However, due to the lack of family education and the fact that she has not experienced systematic higher education, her personality shaping is flawed.
But this shortcoming is hidden and not obvious during her learning stage. Once she enters society independently and faces major issues such as career development and life choices alone, this personality defect will appear. The shortcomings will gradually be revealed, bit by bit starting to backfire on her career and life, step by step dragging her into the abyss of tragic fate.
A good start in her career did not bring her a good ending.
The lack of responsibilities in her native family made Lan Jieying, who was successful at a young age, not only ungrateful but also lose her sense of normalcy when faced with a good start in her career.
She does not have a clear career plan, and she cannot distinguish the severity of problems. She does not cherish the only acting career where she can settle down. She is arrogant, often late and plays a big role, and her work attitude is not dedicated.
So much so that she was banned three times by TVB, which had previously praised her. Her supposedly smooth career suffered a blow.
After the unhappiness with TVB, Lan Jieying moved to Taiwan for development. However, due to her own personality and quality, she got along equally poorly with the Taiwanese staff.
But to be fair, TVB must have loved talent at the beginning, especially a talented actor like Lan Jieying, who is as beautiful as Wutaishan, and gave her many opportunities again and again.
But she still doesn’t know what the core competitiveness of her life is, and how she can use her unique competitiveness to reverse her destiny.
She wasted her advantages over and over again without realizing it.
Just imagine, if the parents around her are also visionary and knowledgeable people and guide her in time, maybe she will do something else in the future.
Unfortunately, this assumption will not happen.
It can be seen that due to the influence of her childhood family environment, Lan Jieying is extremely insecure in her heart and lacks emotional communication and trust in outsiders. Therefore, she has always been stubborn and withdrawn, and cannot get along with others.
In the 1990s, Lam Jieying returned to TVB and starred in the classic drama "The Big Era". This drama showed her acting talent to the fullest, even shining.
However, Lan Jieying still fails to know how to use her shining talents to pave the way for her career, nor does she know how to obtain the greatest material rewards for herself. She has been insecure since she was a child, but she has no sense of security when she grows up. Know how to work hard to earn money to consolidate your life.
She always lacks a clear understanding of herself, does not know what she is good at, and she does not know what her shortcomings are.
As a result, her subsequent fate became even more bleak: first she blindly invested in real estate and lost all her savings, then she lost her beauty, lost her income from acting contracts, and finally she was insulted by two big guys in the industry and became mentally ill. Died tragically alone at home at the age of fifteen...
A generation of famous actors passed away tragically amidst people's sighs. When they died, there was not even a single relative around them. How sad.
It can be seen that the native family can indeed control a person's destiny. It determines whether a person is full of energy and has enough confidence to embark on the road of life at the beginning of his destiny.
It is undeniable that everyone hopes to become a master of reincarnation, to be born into a relatively wealthy and perfect native family, to absorb enough energy for a lifetime, and to complete their life smoothly.
But unfortunately, none of us can choose our own origin, let alone our biological parents. But in life, apart from the vitality that the original family can give.
There are too many things for us to choose from, such as courage, strength, work, study, etc. These are qualities and opportunities given equally by God to everyone, and these can also complement us. The vitality of life helps us overcome the rugged life.
I believe that as long as we have a firm belief and an unyielding spirit, have a good heart, work hard to move forward, and be our own source of energy, everyone can break through the shackles of their original family and live out their own unique life. .