In the old days, marriage was mostly based on the words of a matchmaker, and the man asked the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman first, which was called "good luck". After the woman agreed, she handed over the red post with her daughter birthdates written on it, that is, the "Geng post", which was called "posting", commonly known as "posting eight characters". After the man got the memorial tablet, he put it under the incense burner in front of his ancestors' memorial tablet for three days, which was called "pressing the memorial tablet", and then asked the fortune teller to calculate whether the men and women birthdates were in harmony, which was called "marriage". If the five elements collide with each other, they will return the woman's "Geng Tie" and attach some gifts to apologize. Marriage autonomy is practiced in the new society, but matchmaking is still popular in many rural areas. Most young men and women in cities are free to fall in love, and some of them get to know each other through introductions and get the consent of their families to determine their marriage relationship, which is called "finding an object".
engagement
Jiaxing engagement used to be called "Anxin". After marriage, if the marriage can be achieved, the male family will send a "peace of mind gift" to the female family. Rich people send a "peace of mind gift", with a golden barnyard, engraved with auspicious patterns, a gold ingot and a pair of Jin Ruyi, as a token of "deciding the best". The woman is called "receiving tea" and responds to the man, and then invites the next of kin to eat Anxin wine and announce the engagement. Gifts from poor families vary according to the economic situation. During the period of the Republic of China, there were people with status in the city, engagement ceremonies were also held, and men and women exchanged photos. In the old days, when both men and women were engaged, the man should give gifts to the woman's house on holidays, such as zongzi, moon cakes, chicken, fish, pig's hoof, cakes, etc., and put them in bamboo baskets or wooden baskets, so it was called "gift basket". This custom is still popular in urban and rural areas after the founding of the People's Republic of China, but the city is simple. Generally, men give some gifts to women during the Mid-Autumn Festival and Spring Festival.
quasi-date
means that both men and women decide the wedding date. According to the Records of Jiaxing Prefecture, "..... the date of the wedding invitation will be fixed". According to "Miscellaneous Knowledge of Ancient Crops", "... When the date is set, the male house will be given tea, and the female house will be given cake, and the cake will return to the middle, which is called the height of both ends". During the period of the Republic of China, this custom seemed to be popular. Wealthy men had to buy jewelry (2-4 pieces of gold rings and bracelets), fruit boxes (which were divided into two frames, one for longan and one for tea) and dowry of tens to hundreds of yuan, which were sent to women's homes by matchmakers. The woman's family also prepares a cake box and a Hehe (the legendary Hehe two immortals) (made of silk or paper in a glass box), and the red silk is wrapped under the seat to give it back to the man's family. Before the quasi-date, the matchmaker must first "talk to the pro", that is, the man asks the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house, and the woman deliberately refuses to allow it, and she has to go back and forth at least three times before agreeing. The etiquette in rural areas is relatively simple. When the man chooses the wedding date, he informs his wife half a year in advance, which is called "matching the plate", also known as "taking the market". Gifts are given by matchmakers, including silks and satins, fabrics, jewelry and gifts, and the amount of gifts is also considerable. There are also women who bargain to make the man send a memorial gift. This custom is still popular in rural areas after the founding of the People's Republic of China, and sometimes it is necessary to pursue the bride price. Because the man is poor, he can't meet the woman's requirements, resulting in marriage disputes, and many men are heavily in debt for employment.
Wedding
According to "Miscellaneous Knowledge of Ancient Crops", "The rich family of a rich family is bound to be satisfied with the wedding ceremony, and the gong is ringing, which is actually an official. Although the groom is dressed in white, he also wears several beads, even surpassing those who wear red tops. The relatives and friends are young and long, and the clothes are very rich. They are guided in front of Yu, which is called accompanying marriage. The bride takes a colorful map, the light is mapped, and the maid is followed by it. The hand is ruo benzoin, and the gas is hundreds of steps. " This is the ostentation and extravagance of Jiaxing city's wealthy family in the Qing Dynasty. During the Republic of China, when urban residents got married, the bride still took sedan chairs or floats, and the groom wore robes and jackets, and some wore suits. It is rare for brides to wear a crested gown. Generally, they wear pink embroidered cheongsam, and some use a veil, which is pink. Marry a man's family, and hold a civilized wedding ceremony after the bride gets out of the sedan chair. There are witnesses, officiators, introducers, emcees, bridesmaids, etc., and they only bow down, not bow down. On the same day, the number of tables to be given to the guests depends on the economic situation, and more chefs are invited to do it at home. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, before the 197s, the wedding ceremony in cities was simple, and the bride and groom married on foot or by bike. The wedding was held in the man's home. At noon, the groom was accompanied by relatives and friends, and had a wedding banquet at the bride's house. At night, he hosted a banquet for relatives and friends at the man's house, but the banquet was only a few tables. The wedding ceremony of cadres is simpler. Generally, only candy is distributed to relatives, friends and colleagues to announce marriage. In the late 197s, weddings became more and more luxurious, and several tricycles (dubbed "caravans") were loaded with the bride's dowry, which attracted people's attention. After the mid-198s, the wind of "big-ticket-making" rose, and cars were used for weddings. Some abused buses, ranging from one or two to seven or eight. The words "big red double happiness" were pasted on the front glass window of the car, and the bride and groom were accompanied by the best man, and firecrackers were set off when they got married. Although the new house was close at hand or the new house was in place, they must swim along the street by car. Most brides wear white wedding dresses, while grooms wear black suits. In the evening, parents, relatives and friends of both men and women go to the restaurant for the wedding banquet. The bride and groom are accompanied by the best man and greet the guests in front of the restaurant. The groom offers cigarettes to the guests one by one, and the bride holds a wallet and gives gifts to the younger generation, usually tens of yuan. The price of banquet is several hundred yuan per table (generally from 2 yuan to 25 yuan in the late 198s), which is jointly organized by two companies, men and women, and the expenses are borne by the man. After the banquet, the leftovers, such as chicken, duck, fish, hooves and other big dishes, will be taken home by both parties. In the late 198s, it was fashionable to shoot wedding videos.
during the Republic of China, most rural weddings followed the old customs. Before the wedding ceremony, the woman demanded gifts, such as "thank you for your mother's basket", "please sit down" and "grab my uncle's gift", and even the woman's parents demanded "money for her stomach". Commonly known as "the sedan chair costs a hundred yuan, and the matchmaker sends five sets with the sedan chair." When a man marries, he should choose a married young man, sedan chair, or rock a boat, such as a sedan chair, in front of which two boys with both parents should carry lanterns. To marry or send someone or the groom to meet you personally, you must bow at the door before the woman opens a door. Before the woman gets on the sedan chair, the bride's relatives pass the dowry through the threshold, and the man waits for it. The dowry is generally less than the man's gift. However, Haiyan Ganpu area has always paid attention to the richness of dowry, calling daughters "money-losing goods". Toilet is necessary in dowry, commonly known as "children's bucket", with red paint, a bag of peanuts and two half-boiled eggs dyed red. When the bride gets on the sedan chair, a reed mat (or rice bag) is laid in front of the sedan chair. The bride steps on the sedan chair, which means that she doesn't take away the dirt from her family, and some uncles or brothers carry it. The bride must cry when she gets on the sedan chair, which is called "crying and crying". Generally, the bride cries quietly, while the mother cries loudly. After the bride gets on the sedan chair, her mother feeds her first, and then her brother holds the sedan chair pole and spins it three times before carrying it to the man's house with the sound of drums. When getting married by boat, in some places, two muddy bamboos are placed on the boat. After the bride got on the boat, she drove at a high speed, propping up the shore with bamboo poles, so as not to get wet. After the ship leaves the port, the young people in the village often ask for money on the bridge where the ship must pass, which is called the "water stop port". If they don't meet the requirements, they will block the release. When they arrive at the door of the man's house, they spread five sacks in turn, and the wedding mother helped the bride to step into the door and handed the sacks to pave the way, which was called "generation". With five bags, it is a sign that "five children have passed the exam". After the bride and groom worship heaven and earth, ancestors, parents and each other, they "eat birthday noodles", their parents sit facing south (if they die, they should also serve chopsticks in vain), and the bride and groom kneel to propose a toast. After the ceremony, the groom led the bride with a red ribbon, and two young adults led a pair of candles into the bridal chamber. It is said that the bride has a large bed area and is afraid of her wife after marriage. If the groom sits more, the wife will be afraid of her husband after marriage, so they will not give in to each other and sit next to each other. After sitting on the bed, the bridegroom uses a balance beam (to be satisfied) or sugar cane (to be tall and sweet) to provoke the red scarf of the bride's hijab. Xi Niang scatters dates, peanuts, candy, etc. around the bed account of the new house, which is called "scattering the account", and some of them are scattered in the four corners of the new house and in front of the guests. Haiyan has the Song of Spreading Accounts: "Spreading accounts from the east over the east, the husband and wife are more harmonious, spreading accounts from the south over the south, and the population is prosperous and there are many children ...". In the rural area of Pinghu, there was a custom of having a "small night meal" in the old days, that is, after the wedding, the elders took two bowls of cold rice together from the bride's box, put some pickles on it, and let the bride and groom sit side by side, and each ate the cold rice with pickles.
After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the wedding customs in rural areas have changed. Instead of a sedan chair, a boat was used for wedding. When engaged, the bride price is very heavy. Before getting married, the groom still has to prepare various gifts. In the past ten years, some people have married by bicycle, and after marriage, like the city, they have traveled for their honeymoon. Since the 198s, the wedding banquet in rural areas has been similar to that in cities, with the bride participating in the banquet and offering a toast to the guests. Wedding banquets are generally mainly cold cuts and hot fried dishes, accompanied by whole chicken and duck snacks. Replacing home-brewed rice wine with bottled wine costs about 2 yuan per table.
On the wedding day of the bride and groom in urban and rural areas, parents and close relatives of both sexes are required to present "red paper bags" to the bride and groom, commonly known as "meeting each other".
On the second day after the wedding, the bride's brother went to visit, and the man hosted a banquet, which was called "Looking at the Tide". Jiashan area is commonly known as "Tongzao Chimney" and Jiaxing is commonly known as "Hanging Chimney". According to folk legend, in the past, a bride was teased by her in-laws and sisters-in-law and blocked the chimney. When the bride cooked, she was filled with smoke and was accused by her in-laws. When his brother came to visit, he found something strange. He used a long bamboo pole to pass through the chimney, and the flue was smooth, the smoke disappeared and the food was cooked. This legend contains the meaning that the bride's family brothers protect the bride's position in her husband's family. This custom is still popular after the founding of the People's Republic of China.
Huimen
In Qing Dynasty, it was called "looking at the moon" and "looking at the moon". That is, after one month of marriage, the husband and his wife went back to their parents' home to visit, and the groom brought a table of dining tables, commonly known as "table ceremony", and his parents-in-law also sent gifts. This custom is still popular in rural areas after the founding of the People's Republic of China, and returning to the door is not limited to one month, but most of them return to the door in three days.