Introduction: Mom’s baby boy is actually the mother-in-law who refuses to let go of her son. If mothers-in-law can be more open-minded, how can there be so many women rejecting Mom’s baby boy?
01
For “mama’s boys”, many women’s first reaction is to stay away.
But where did the name “Mama’s Boy” come from? Coming from a married person! So more often than not, women only find out that they are marrying a baby boy after they get married.
Most people who are in love focus on the other person, whether they love or please them, and do not actually explore how to get along with the other person or the other person's family. They just pursue the depth of the relationship between themselves and this person, or Are the three views consistent?
This leads to the fact that many family conflicts will only arise after marriage. The marital tragedies caused by the mama's boy and the foolish filial boy will only gradually become apparent after marriage.
But marriage is not love. A lot of money, time and energy are invested in it, as well as the expectations and responsibilities of both families. Therefore, when you find out after marriage that the other person is a mama's boy or a filial boy, you will not easily choose to divorce.
What is marriage? Marriage is 0.5+0.5=1. Each person weakens a little of their bad self, tolerates a little of the other person’s bad qualities, and then the two of them come together.
To put it bluntly, it means mutual understanding, tolerance, and growing up together. If you find out that you are a mama's boy, you will also give each other a chance to grow.
It’s just that not every mama’s boy knows how to grow in this kind of opportunity.
02
Before her friend Xiaomei got married, she was loved to the core by her ex-husband. Because of this love, Xiaomei married her ex-husband with great expectations.
However, after getting married, Xiaomei discovered that although this man loved her, he loved his mother more. Between Xiaomei and her mother-in-law, this man would choose her mother-in-law without hesitation.
Xiaomei’s mother-in-law’s marriage was in a very bad state. She was abused by her father-in-law all her life, and her mistress and mistress also had a lot of romantic debts.
I heard that my mother-in-law cried since she was young. When Xiaomei’s ex-husband graduated from college, her father-in-law filed for divorce on the grounds that her son had grown up. My mother-in-law endured the pain and stayed in the marriage for most of her life. In the end, she We parted ways.
At that time, Xiaomei’s ex-husband told Xiaomei that every time his father hit his mother, he secretly decided to protect her. Of course, he did it. In order to please his mother, he studied hard and worked honestly. The two of them lived well while relying on each other.
Xiaomei only found out after she got married that her ex-husband not only put her mother first in everything, but her mother-in-law doted on her son too much, which made Xiaomei suspect that she was involved in their relationship.
03
After Xiaomei and her ex-husband got married, she lived with her mother-in-law. Her ex-husband would chat with her mother-in-law every day when he came home from work, ranging from life ideals to the embarrassment of going to the toilet. From the people she met on the way to work to the interesting things that happened in the company, her mother-in-law would feel aggrieved if she didn't talk about them even once.
So usually, my mother-in-law would listen to her son's narration, help her son wash and cook amidst laughter, and keep his daily life in order. At this time, Xiaomei couldn't help but feel like an outsider.
Xiaomei wanted to chat with this man, just like before marriage, but found that it was not practical at all. As long as Xiaomei occupied her husband for a while, her mother-in-law would be unhappy. So Xiaomei had to wait until the lights were turned off before going to bed before she could chat with her husband for a few minutes.
At that time, Xiaomei felt depressed, but thinking of her mother-in-law's hard life, she didn't care too much.
The one time that shocked Xiaomei was when her ex-husband bought a new piece of clothing for her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law was so happy that she wanted to try it on. In order to get the best effect, she had to change the underlying clothes into something suitable. Yes, the mother-in-law started to take off her clothes in front of Xiaomei and her ex-husband, without any intention of entering the bedroom.
In Xiaomei's complicated expression, her mother-in-law said calmly: "What's the matter? We, mother and son, are of the same mind and don't shy away from taboos."
Although Xiaomei can't stand the mother and son. Fortunately, her ex-husband was very kind to her at the time. He handed over her salary and was reluctant to do housework for her, wash her feet, and buy her favorite vegetables.
04
If the pregnancy had not happened, Xiaomei would probably have been deceived by her ex-husband's gentle actions.
Xiaomei got pregnant unexpectedly one year after her marriage. Her mother-in-law knew about the pregnancy first.
Xiaomei originally thought that her mother-in-law would be happy, but she did not expect that her mother-in-law acted so abnormally and was the first to object to having the child.
Xiaomei was very surprised at the time. Didn’t the mothers-in-law of other families always hope that their daughter-in-law would get pregnant? Why did her mother-in-law object to it when it came to her own? However, facing the opposition of her mother-in-law, Xiaomei thought to herself: Do I need your consent to give birth to a child? What's the use of your objection.
Unexpectedly, her mother-in-law's opposition caused her marriage to break up.
Xiaomei notified her ex-husband of her pregnancy via WeChat. In the message sent by her ex-husband at that time, she was very happy about the pregnancy and said that she was going to be a father. Thank you for your hard work Xiaomei.
But when they got home at night, before the couple could congratulate each other, the mother-in-law dragged her ex-husband into the room.
I don’t know what was said, but my mother-in-law’s cries were heard many times. After my ex-husband came out of her room, he didn’t say a word and his face looked horribly ugly.
05
Lying in bed at night, her ex-husband told Xiaomei seriously that it was not the right time to have this child and asked her to abort it.
Xiaomei felt at the time that it was her mother-in-law who put pressure on him and that he would be fine after two days. However, in the following days, her ex-husband kept forcing Xiaomei to go to the hospital.
Also under repeated pressure from her ex-husband, Xiaomei learned that it was not that her mother-in-law did not like children, but that her mother-in-law was quite superstitious.
My mother-in-law had a fortune teller before Xiaomei was pregnant. The fortune teller said that she was not suitable to have a grandson in the next two years.
According to the pregnancy months, Xiaomei will give birth next year, but next year is her mother-in-law's birth year. Her mother-in-law asked a fortune teller to tell her fortunes. The child and her mother-in-law's horoscope are incompatible. The arrival of the child will make her mother-in-law There will be no peace for the rest of his life. That's why her mother-in-law doesn't want Xiaomei to get pregnant now, and she won't let her get pregnant until a year or two later.
Xiaomei was suddenly very disappointed, so she rode a bicycle, ran, and played sports as strenuously as possible, with the aim of letting the child abort on her own. But a few days later, she went to the hospital for a checkup. When the doctor told her that the baby was healthy, Xiaomei suddenly She cried, how could she bear the pain of losing such a strong life.
In order to keep the child, Xiaomei first did some ideological work for her ex-husband, and then analyzed the benefits of the child's arrival. She really couldn't think of moving out for the two of them. Finally, the ex-husband was shaken and agreed to give birth to the child after moving out.
06
When the mother-in-law learned that the two of them were moving out, she pointed at Xiaomei and scolded her for three hours when she was alone at home. After her ex-husband came back, she scolded her again. He looked pitifully aggrieved and told that he was bullied by his husband in the first half of his life and bullied by his daughter-in-law in the second half of his life.
Seeing her mother's aggrieved look, when her ex-husband once again asked Xiaomei to abort the child, Xiaomei was completely disappointed with the man in front of her and decisively filed for divorce.
She can understand a man's respect and love for his mother, but she cannot accept that a man would rather hurt his wife or even kill his child for the sake of his mother.
The ex-husband did not agree to the divorce, so Xiaomei made a fuss. The quarrel lasted for a full month and the family could not even sleep. The ex-husband agreed to the divorce, which also showed that Xiaomei loved the child, but he I don't care.
This marriage, which lasted a year and a half, still went to the Civil Affairs Bureau. After coming out of the Civil Affairs Bureau, Xiaomei solemnly said to her ex-husband: "Next time you get married, remember to leave your mother. No woman can Accept this kind of mother-in-law."
My ex-husband replied disappointedly: "I will not remarry. I will stay with my mother for the rest of my life."
07
Mom. Baonan actually did not know how to let go because his mother took too much control.
A son is a son after all. If a mother places too much of her feelings on her son and seeks emotional comfort from her son, it will only make her son's marriage unhappy.
As an elder, you should not bring your personal emotions into the marriage of your juniors, especially your mother-in-law. One of the reasons for the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that the mother-in-law entrusts her happiness to her son and always thinks that the son is hers. The appearance of the daughter-in-law is to compete with her for the son.
Mother and son are mother and son after all. No matter how good the relationship is, it cannot shock the world and make the gods and ghosts cry.
Making children happy is what every parent desires most. However, the happiness of children as adults comes more from the beauty of their own creation and the people and people they meet in their own lives. Instead of always being in the arms of parents.
What's more, to give up your loved ones, including children, in order to please your parents, this is not happiness for an adult, but a disaster.
Marriage is a lifelong home for children. Parents really shouldn’t interfere in their children’s marriages after they get married. What you have to do is to keep an appropriate distance from your children, spend your old age peacefully, and enjoy the filial piety from your children. That is enough.