The marriage customs in Changde (formerly Jinshi) are similar to those in other areas in the feudal society of the past thousands of years. However, the wedding customs in Jinshi are affected by factors such as immigration and a strong business atmosphere. , and has its distinctive characteristics. There are clear rules and regulations in the whole process of marriage between men and women. The procedures are clear and form a set of marriage rules that no one can exceed. Marriage customs in Jin City are very detailed, including matchmaking, exchange of sex, tea, asking for happiness, announcing the date, writing a letter, giving gifts, weeping to marry, getting married, the bride's announcement, entering the bridal chamber, making a wedding, and returning home. Multiple programs, very complex. A marriage has left the relatives on both sides with a lot of money and exhaustion. But no matter how tiring and complicated it is, both parties involved in the marriage will try their best to make the wedding a perfect one.
In the old days, the first step in Tianjin’s marriage customs was “matchmaking.” This is a typical feudal arranged marriage, the order of the parents and the words of the matchmaker. If the man's parents like the woman, they will ask a matchmaker to go to the woman's house to talk about matchmaking. Matchmaking has two meanings: first, praise the man's family, how rich he is, how handsome, status, knowledgeable, etc. the man is. The second is to see how the woman’s family background is, whether the girl is beautiful, etc. The matchmaker is known as "Mr. Red Man" in Jin city slang. This "Mr. Red Man" goes to the woman's house and tells her that no matter whether the matchmaking is successful or not, the man must give money.
The man and woman negotiate with matchmakers and send betrothal gifts. After both parties are satisfied, the second procedure is to "change Geng". Geng refers to the character Sheng Geng, which refers to the time and year when both parties were born. Changing Geng is also called Changing Bazi. "Wen Hai Pisha" explains: "Li Xuzhong uses the direct stems and branches of the year, month and day of his life to predict people's misfortunes, blessings, life and death, and he will not lose one in a hundred, even if he doesn't use it at the beginning." Since the Song Dynasty, they have been combined with those of the time and are called the eight characters. "The horoscopes are calculated by the fortune teller. If the horoscopes match, an auspicious day is selected. The male and female birth dates are written on red paper and exchanged with each other. After the men and women exchange the horoscopes, the man gives the woman a gift, and the man follows the matchmaker. Gifts are sent to the woman and she hosts a banquet. In this way, the marriage relationship is officially confirmed.
The third procedure is "tea". After the marriage relationship is confirmed, the man and woman must choose a good day to hold the wedding. During this period of time before the wedding, there is a need to interact with each other, especially during traditional festivals such as the Spring Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and other major festivals. The man must give gifts to the woman. This gift is different from the bride price, and does not need to be too large. Expensive gifts such as meat, fish, cakes and candies can be used to show the man's attention and courtesy to the woman, and to create a friendly atmosphere with the future in-laws.
Tea allows both parties to maintain close contact and wait for each other. When they are of marriageable age, the fourth step is to ask for a wedding. The man invites a matchmaker to the woman's house to ask for a wedding, and he also needs to bring some gifts, mainly clothes and fabrics, if the woman agrees. It is necessary to ask the fortune teller to predict the auspicious date. After confirming the auspicious date, the woman will formally request the bride price to the man.
The fifth step is called "reporting the date". The man will use the red paper to predict the auspicious date. After finishing the writing, the matchmaker will accompany the bride with the prepared betrothal gifts. In the old days, Jin City was a prosperous commercial city where there were many wealthy families. The betrothal gifts were usually silk and satin clothes. Rich families also gave gold rings, gold necklaces and other valuables. The heavier the betrothal gift. , the more the man shows his economic strength and "knowledge of life", the happier the woman will be and the more willing she is to marry her daughter to the man.
The bride price is sent to the woman's family, and the man's family will accept the bride price. It is necessary to "write a letter" to the relatives and elders of the bride's family, and invite the bride's relatives, usually elders or brothers-in-law, to drink with the bride during the wedding. This kind of drinker is also called a "book guest" and is regarded as the most distinguished guest. < /p>
After the "letter", the man and the woman start to arrange the wedding ceremony and other things. They also need to send twenty pounds of meat, several bottles of wine, clothing, shoes and socks, etc.), as well as tea (meat, fish, snacks and steamed buns) for the hostess, and ask someone to send it to the bride, the groom, and the matchmaker. This is a "gift." In the evening, the groom's family prepares a banquet to entertain the groom. At this time, the groom's family will be accompanied by "ten brothers", that is, the groom plus nine unmarried boys can be their own relatives, neighbors, friends, etc. During the banquet, there is also a banquet, which is a game of guessing, and each boy toasts to the groom. It is very lively. At this time, the chef who is hosting the banquet also participates in asking the groom for cigarette money. , a banquet must be held to honor the ancestors, three gifts must be made, and a title plaque must be raised, which is called "the crown and the word", which makes it more lively. Then the woman also prepares a banquet to entertain the bride, and also has "ten sisters" and nine unmarried girls. The bride can also be accompanied by relatives, neighbors or friends.
"Crying at the wedding" is the eighth step. This is an indispensable rule for the bride to marry the groom. , one is to show filial piety. My parents’ family raised me and I am about to leave. From now on, I cannot fulfill my filial piety every day, which makes me cry. Secondly, I don’t know if I will be happy in the future if I marry into the man’s family. I felt unsure and was so scared that I cried. The third one is acting coquettishly to the point of crying. The fourth is excitement, excitement, crying, etc.
There is a "Crying Wedding Song" circulated in Jin City as follows:
My mother-in-law,
My hair is combed upward,
The rain from my eyes is flowing down,< /p>
I don’t want to be a bride in my life.
My mother-in-law,
If I were your son,
I would be very happy to have a daughter-in-law.
My dad, too,
you married a daughter-in-law and the house is empty.
At this time, the children watching the excitement outside the door will sing clear and harsh children's songs
New girl, new girl, don't cry,
Just around the corner is your house.
New girl, new girl, if you don’t smile,
Just turn a corner and it will be your fault.
"Crying at Marriage" often stops until the bride's voice becomes hoarse and her mother bursts into tears. It's really interesting.
The ninth procedure is "marriage". The man uses a sedan to carry the bride to the woman. The sedan that carries the bride must be a red flower sedan. This sedan is very elegant, with a red awning and golden poles, and a large red carved water bamboo curtain hanging in front. It is very elegant. Those who carry books use small sedan chairs. The groom goes there in a sedan, and after marrying the bride, he changes to a tall horse, or rides in a small sedan, and the matchmaker accompanies the wedding procession to pick up the bride. In front of the wedding procession, there are trumpeters playing trumpets and gongs and drums. In the middle, there are several large sedan chairs carrying four carriages. At the back, there are "ten brothers", relatives, friends, matchmakers, etc. accompanying them. It is very lively. When the wedding team arrives at the bride's house, they are not allowed to enter the house. The bride's cook and maids quickly close the door tightly and ask the groom for wedding money and cigarette money (often stuffed into the house through the crack in the door). The bride's family receives the wedding money and cigarette money. Then the door was opened, the wedding procession and the groom were welcomed, and a banquet was held. If it is a wealthy family, not only the three relatives and six family members will be invited to have a drink, but even the neighbors in the entire street will send invitations to receive the guests. Red envelopes and gifts will pile up, and the banquet can be set up on hundreds of tables. Small families are also trying their best to keep up with each other. After drinking, the groom must give four major gifts to the bride's elders, and then return to wait for the bride's wedding.
"The woman proposes marriage" is the tenth procedure. At this time, the bride was dressed up, wearing a phoenix crown and a red skirt, but wearing old shoes on her feet. She was carried to the hall by her eldest brother (or her younger brother if she didn't have an eldest brother, or her cousins ??if she didn't have a younger brother). On the four square pieces of wood prepared in advance, you have to kowtow to the ancestral tablets three times, which is very cumbersome. This is called "resigning to the incense". After paying homage to the ancestors, they put on new shoes and the elder brother or brothers carry the big red sedan chair. When the bride leaves, her parents give her some change, called "sedan money." This kind of "spreading sedan money" is very useful, because the bearer likes to tease the bride on the way, sometimes swinging the big red sedan chair, sometimes deliberately stopping the sedan chair, sometimes peeking at the bride from the sedan window, etc. At this time, the bride will use " "Spread the sedan money" and send the sedan bearers away, so that the bearers can carry the big sedan to the husband's house safely. This is the marriage of a wealthy person. When a poor family gets married, the bride does not have a phoenix crown or harem, only a red hijab, and other etiquette is the same. After the wedding procession arrives at the groom's house, the porters carrying furniture, toilets, footbaths or porcelain will bump and shake at the door of the groom's house, as if telling the groom to give him more money. The man should give the porter money without hesitation. The man then sends someone to bring the wardrobe, furniture, boxes, bedding, etc. into the new house and arrange them, and invites respected people from the neighborhood to make the bed. Generally, the "Bed Making Song" is sung when making the bed:
A: Make the bed, both ends. appropriate.
B: The gentleman will give birth to a noble son, but a girl will be born slowly.
A: The pillow is placed on both ends, and the groom and the waiter climb on both ends.
B: If you throw away your pillow at both ends, your son will look like a loach.
This "Bed-Making Song" is full of feudalism. The husband favors sons over daughters. When making the bed, pay special attention to the pillows. If the pillows are not made well, the couple will not sleep harmoniously, and their son will be as thin as a loach. After the bed is made and the new house is decorated, the ritual master (usually a Taoist priest) sets up the incense table and candles at the door, and reads out the "Carriage and Horse Wen", also known as "Blocking the Carriage and Horses". This is to sprinkle chicken blood to stop the sedan chair. There are elements of Nuo sacrifice. The ten sisters, all dressed up in gorgeous clothes, stood in two rows in front of the door to greet their brother-in-law and called him "Jie Feng". Then the chef kills the rooster and uses the chicken's blood to cure the evil spirits. The meaning expressed in "Blocking the Carriage and Horses" is to block the evil spirits and evil spirits from the door and bless the newlywed family's good fortune and peace. After that, the bearers lift up the sedan and make several circles in front of the house, which is called "returning carriage horses".
After so many procedures, the sedan is carried to the main room. The scholar (brother-in-law) lifts the curtain of the sedan. The groom asks a respected woman from the neighborhood to lead the bride out of the sedan door. Then the groom and the bride are led to kneel down in the main room. On the straw mat, "double worship" is carried out. The ceremonial attendant first reads the "He Ni Wen", and the wedding is completed. After reading "He Ni Wen", the worship service begins. One is to worship the heaven and the earth, the second is to worship the high hall, the third is to worship the ancestors, the husband and wife bow to each other, the husband and wife exchange cups, drink from each other's cups of wine, etc. After the greetings, the groom leads the bride into the room. There is also something special about entering the bridal chamber. After the bridal chamber, the couple will see who gets to sit on the bed first. Whoever gets there first will be the stronger in the future marriage life.
The twelfth procedure is "making trouble". In ancient times, there were various ways to make trouble, ranging from vulgar to healthy and civilized. It is said that when the big boss of "Bai Lu Zhai" in Tianjin City marries his wife, guests from the upper class of Tianjin City test the bride. Whether it is couplets, riddles, or other questions, the bride answers fluently, showing her talent and agility. Very admired by guests. There are also those who make the bride and groom play games and bite candies. What's more interesting is the use of homophones to illustrate the happiness of couples. The guest takes out five items prepared in advance in the bridal chamber: a gold ring, a porcelain bowl, a needle, a pair of chopsticks, and a gong. The guest asked the bride to read the five items from beginning to end. The bride didn't know what it meant, so she had to recite "gold, bowl, needle, chopsticks, gong". When combined, she knew it was "I'm so happy tonight". It was really interesting.
The last step is to "return to the door". Three days after the wedding, the natal family sends their brother-in-law or aunt to take the newlyweds back to their natal family. This is called "returning to the door". However, the bride and groom must return on the same day and cannot stay overnight at their parents’ home. After the bride and groom return home, the room is not allowed to be vacant within one month, and the bride and groom are not allowed to sleep outside. After a month, the groom will send the bride back to her parents' home. In this way, the bride can live in her parents' home for a month and then the groom will take her back.