(Novel) Stories caused by mobile phones
Xu Zhihai
(1)
Guan Er’s sister Guan Youyou recently bought a The new mobile phone is said to be an Apple brand.
The Apple brand comes from country M. People in country M all have sharp mouths, monkey cheeks, big heads, round bellies, and extremely hard bodies.
People in country M like to make tricks. It is said that the play is "This River and That Water".
This river and that water are mortal enemies. One can fly and the other can blow. The one who can fly meets the one who can blow, and the one who can blow meets the one who can fly. The two people just "blown away".
Things that can blow can't fly, and those that can fly can't blow, but those that can blow. Therefore, each has its own merits and leads the way.
The two competed and asked the scholar to act as the referee with them. The scholar said: "I won't do it."
Nachuan said: "Why?"
The scholar frowned seriously and said: "Why are you two bragging?" The other one is asking for food?"
Then Shui Zhi said: "Why?"
"It hurts!"
In an instant, the scene got out of control, and the scholar was beaten until his nose was bruised and his face was swollen!
Continuing, amidst the screams of a group of "ouch"s, the blockbuster movie in country M came to an end.
(2)
Guan Youyou watched these again and again every day, calling them "blockbuster movies" and laughing happily.
She held her new mobile phone in her arms all day long, doting on it like a loving father and mother's darling, and even gave it an English name "Davis". In fact, translated into Chinese, it is Dai Yuner.
Guan Youyou is now twenty-eight years old, beautiful or not, beautiful or not, with a pink and white appearance, just like the impetuous Wu Mingkong.
It is said that Wu Mingkong is very beautiful and charming, and is known as "the dragon among men". He had power and influence, but he has passed away.
Later, a writer wrote a legend around her life. The story is called "The Legend of Wu Mingkong".
When Guan Youyou was still in college, one day a group of people came to the school, known as "a group of wolves and a group of dogs". They used the ceremony of "the emperor turned over cards to choose his concubine", and Guan Youyou came from the school. She was picked out from a group of girls and called "a certain girl's upper body".
Guan Youyou wants to audition. After putting on nondescript clothes, he walks in a modern step known as "Tango", interpreting Wu Mingkong's modern era.
I saw her "tango", that is, straighten her chest, raise her head, look forward, twist her body, and do catwalks. Her gentle and soft look attracted the attention of the director.
There was just a "click" sound, and a bearded man wearing sunglasses, holding a big cigar, and wearing a red robe shouted: "Perfect! Ouch, it's her!"
At that time, the bearded director, wearing a Chinese tunic suit, with a beer belly and a figure-footed step, walked up to Guan Youyou, who was feeling uneasy and confident at the same time. He winked at first, and then compared himself. After checking each other's height, he found that he was like a short winter melon, but Guan, who was as beautiful as a flower, was also like a hyacinth.
This hyacinth is 1.71 meters tall and has the ability to attract bees and butterflies. She stood among the girls and was dazzled by the scorching sun. The fragrant sweat on her face looked quite dazzling.
It is said that this bearded director has a hobby of "looking down upon others". Because of this hobby, others look even shorter and their eyes appear to be small, sealed triangles. Colleagues jokingly said: The bright eyes can focus as much light as a bald head.
It was a sunny day, and he immediately set his sights on Guan Youyou, the coquettish and charming "Wu Mingkong".
Guan You plays Wu Mingkong again, fulfilling the title of "Everyone loves you, and flowers bloom when you see them".
Guan Youyou danced gracefully and had excellent grades in her early years. Later, she was recommended by a wealthy businessman to study in "Meizhou County" in Country M. Later I met Lao Daheng.
Mr. Lao has a rectangular face and a Chinese character. The fortune teller said that he will go to a brothel when he leaves the country. Sure enough, he learned to cheat when he and Guan Youyou were married for less than n years.
First of all, he drank wine and visited the brothels. He never chose a good place to go, but he went to a ghost place called "looking for flowers and asking for willows".
This "looking for flowers and willows" ghost place is a bustling street, dense and dense. There are green vegetation as the base material, neon lights shining as musical instruments, and crystal clear as the tone. This is typical vanity and lack of prosperity. In such a scene of drunkenness and feasting, can a wealthy labor tycoon not be tempted to act recklessly?
Lao Daheng's family is a wealthy man, known as "the white jade is the hall's gold and the horse". If a dandy comes out of trouble, his family is not afraid of his squandering. Some people say that Lao Daheng's family is a big businessman. The one with the most wealth is really called Wan Guan!
(3)
In such a background, two young men, Lao and Guan, who are obsessed with men and resentful women, fall in love with each other. I got married, got a certificate, and moved overseas.
A young couple bought a sea view room and lived in a villa, enjoying the island style of the four seasons in spring, summer, autumn and winter. They lived a petty bourgeoisie life of wine, meat and delicacies all year round.
It is said that one time two people were fishing or swimming at the beach. The man was wearing flowery underpants and the woman was wearing a sexy bikini. While they were flirting and having an affair, they were caught by the "paparazzi" Team" filmed their inappropriate behavior, which was unexpectedly uploaded to the Internet. Being complained about or praised by netizens and fans. After all, there are many idle people on the Internet, and those who complain are greater than those who like it.
Later, the two became more conservative. After all, their private lives are not easy to see in the light.
Once, their family, including their brother, brother, uncle, sister-in-law and nephew, went out to travel to Xia Island, and were followed and secretly photographed by the "paparazzi". The indecent photos were once again crazily posted on the Internet.
However, during this trip, he happened to meet the so-called "Twin Sisters of Spring in the North". Guan You saw how cute and quiet they were, so he took a few photos and posted them on Weibo where he could only see them.
However, some bad actors and Internet hackers stole the photos and posted them on the website, and they also pranked them at will. Someone among them asked whose family the two children, both medium and small, belonged to. Some people speculate and some have questions.
Doubts set off three-foot waves, and speculation surged.
In fact, the "Spring Twins in the North" look naive and cute. Some people speculate that it is Guan Youyou and his ex, or his current one, or a surrogate, etc. In short, there are different opinions and it is impossible to be sure.
During that time, the "Guan Youyou Incident" was widely publicized by the media and caused a lot of uproar. After all, Guan You is an actor and a public figure. Everything she says and does affects her sponsors and supporters. Lao Daheng's family is the master of the scene. After all, Lao Daheng once had a habit of immorality, and his scandal was once again exposed to the public. Some people say that if Tycoon Lao doesn't seek death, he won't die. However, at this juncture, Tycoon Lao chose to visit a brothel and met Nanda Ba's woman, Lang Tao Tian.
This woman is incredible. In order to gain access to Lao Daheng’s wealth, she has been having secret meetings with Master Lao Daheng and creating scandals.
Guan was once again exhausted. Someone made up a rhyme and said: Guan Youyou is a useless woman, and she cannot control a labor tycoon; the character Wu Mingkong plays, her virtue does not match her!
(4)
One day Guan put on lipstick again, looked in the mirror, came out of the boys' toilet with a high-heeled cup, and said to himself: "What the hell am I doing?" I don’t look like a beauty at all. Tycoon Lao actually said that I am not as beautiful and charming as the deceased Wu Mingkong. I searched on Baidu and Wu Mingkong has the ass of a mantis and the waist of a bucket. How can I have the ass of a mantis and the waist of a wasp? He’s so good, I’m so fucking blind. I fell in love with him n years ago. I slept on a boat with him and listened to his snoring all night, which made me exhausted like a pig carrying a monkey’s spirit. "After I finished speaking, I looked up at the sky. , in the dark night, the stars are blinking.
"Child, kid!"
The Apple mobile phone rang, and the person on the other end of the phone was Mr. Lao. He stood in the cold wind tonight. Needless to say, he felt very unhappy. It feels good because he and Guan quarreled again. I heard that since they got married, they have been having a big fight every three days and a little fight every five days.
The person who answered the phone was Guan Youyou. She yelled hysterically: "That's enough! You're a fake bitch. You act like a woman during the day and like a patient at night. You still talk to me about your snoring. I'm sorry." That's enough of you, I want to divorce you..."
"Pa", the phone was hung up.
Then, the phone rang again!
"Child, Child!"
The song "Child, Child" is used as the ringtone because of the movie that Tycoon Lao watched when he was pursuing Guan Youyou. The name of the movie is "Monster Hunt 3".
At that time, the labor tycoon was young and promising, and he was a noble man. Dressed in red, with a cool Chinese style, he is known as "the young man is so handsome".
Guan You answered the phone again. The person on the other end of the phone was babbling and didn't know what to say. But such a scene appeared in Guan Youyou's mind.
N years ago, Tycoon Lao looked at the ridiculous "Monster Hunt 3" and said: "Obviously "Monster Hunt 2" is good, but we still have to make another three. It's really boring. . And the song "Child, Child" kept singing, which made me feel chilly. "
"Yes, child, child, how pitiful. Singing it makes me want to wear Yun'er. "Guan You opened his blurred eyes again, looking at Lao Daheng's rectangular face from the corner of his eyes.
"Yes, since you bought an Apple mobile phone——Dai Yun'er. , you don’t even look at me anymore. "
Tycoon Lao really looked like a shameless businessman. At this time, he was worth 200,000 yuan. He was wearing a tiger fur coat with his vest exposed and said: "Although you are looking at me now, your eyebrows are dark. I have no eyes for you, but I am thinking about your Apple mobile phone Dai Yun'er. What's more, it's still a foreign product. ”
“What happened to the foreign goods? A foreign product is also a mobile phone? "In an instant, Guan Youyou's eyebrows were widened and his eyes were wide open.
Mr. Lao had a bad temper and didn't know how to coax girls. He tilted his head and said: "Foreign products are not good. If you want a Dai Yun'er, I will have my child with you." Kiss me, okay, just follow your phone!"
"Break up? You want to break up with me?"
Break up! He wants to break up with her!
I can't make it."
This realistic version of the imagination passed through the brain waves and combined with their noisy life on weekdays, making Guan You very tired. However, her tired heart had no idea what to do.
She said to herself: "It's hard to be a human being, but it's even harder to be a celebrity!"
(5)
The story of heartbreak after drinking too much that night Again, the crying Guan Youyou got wet from the rain that night. She faced the rainy wind and walked on the deserted street.
Lao Daheng did not retain her. Since then, two people who once loved each other, Sha Baitian and Gao Fushuai, broke up. They parted ways like this, just like two parallel railroad tracks that can never meet again.
Everyone has their own story, but poetry and distance must continue.
Let’s talk about Guan Youyou first. After she left Daheng Lao, she really couldn't live without her mobile phone. It is said that one time when she was traveling in the countryside, her mobile phone was almost out of battery. She felt that the charger in her pocket was empty, so she anxiously went to look for a store to rent a power bank, but she could not find a store that had a rental power bank. Eventually her phone ran out of battery and her person fell.
She fell down on a rainy night. People were holding umbrellas and cars were passing by her, but no one helped her.
One of the children saw it and said, "Mom, there is a beautiful sister in front of me who fell. Why didn't anyone help her?"
That mother She told the child earnestly and thoughtfully: "I don't know why modern people are afraid of helping. Although this girl is very beautiful, I don't know if she is kind."
The child twisted under the umbrella held by his mother. With a face that seemed to understand, he nodded and said: "No one is helping this sister. How pitiful she is when she is drenched in the heavy rain! Does a person's beauty have to be related to kindness?"
Mother He lowered his head and looked at his son who was beyond the age of a child in surprise. He wondered whether it was because of the hormones in this society or because his son was too precocious, which made his child's thoughts become distorted and sensible at the same time.
The mother wanted to drag her child by, but the child refused to move. The mother sighed and said: "Forget it, for the sake of the child, I will go and help her."
She had just decided to help, when an old man came forward. The gate was pulled again.
Guan opened his eyes slightly again and said feebly: "Charge my phone first."
"Okay!"
When the old man saw that the mobile phone was wrapped in a plastic bag, he thought to himself: What a reckless young man, who values ??his mobile phone more than his life. It really echoes the saying: I would rather get wet than let my phone get wet.
Two hours later, the battery of the mobile phone was fully charged, and Guan You rolled over with a kite under the eaves of the old man’s shop and was resurrected with full health.
A smile filled her pink face. It was obvious that the rain had diluted her makeup and collagen. Wrinkles filled the corners of her eyes. She clasped her hands together, closed her eyes gently, and said, "Thank God you are intact!" After getting married, it is like a snail carrying a lot of shells on its back, and it is psychologically shackles. During the day, he looks like a man, but at night, he looks like a man.
I heard that a few years later, he traveled across the ocean and met a foreign girl, and his waist changed and he became a foreign-looking girl. He also had his hair trimmed and became a foreign son-in-law.
One year, when he went home to visit relatives, he saw that his former uncle, Guan'er, looked like his uncle, so he judged people by their appearance and said, "Uncle, look at whether I am rich or not!"
His uncle said: "You are not rich, you are like a puppet!"
The foreign son-in-law Lao Daheng was afraid that he would recognize him, so he quickly covered his face and made a "blind man is shy" gesture, that is, with ten fingers Cover your face.
His uncle turned his back and said that he did not look like a human being, but looked like a "squid".