Engagement:
1. The parents of both parties meet to discuss the engagement, mainly setting the almanac and the amount of the man’s betrothal gift. Currently, the more popular one is 108,000, but it mainly depends on the economic conditions of both parties. The gift money received will be returned according to the financial conditions. If the woman's conditions are average, if she receives 88888, it will be returned to the man ranging from 38888-58888. If the woman's condition is good, she will directly accept all the gift money and buy a car for the man.
2. There must be a lot of time before the engagement day. During this time, it is necessary to buy the things that the two of them need for their engagement. We start with the things that the man gives to the woman.
(1) A set of gold jewelry. Including earrings, bracelets, (anklets), necklaces, a pair of rings, and a diamond ring (the current price of a diamond ring is about 15,000). In fact, you can also go to a goldware store to buy loose diamonds and choose the style you like to create the price. The difference is huge, you can save about 35%. Note: I asked my parents first. Some parents like to buy 24K pure gold because they think it can preserve its value, but young people don’t like it and think it is tacky.)
(2) Wedding candy. Includes a pair of candied golden apricots. Wenzhou wedding candies are divided into different sizes. The man is responsible for all the wedding candies needed by the woman, including the red envelopes inside the wedding candies (currently, 50-100 red envelopes are given out, depending on the conditions of both parties and the amount of wedding candies).
(3) Watch. In the past, it was just a pair of watches, but now that various electronic products have the function of a watch, it is not a lot to just buy one for the woman. The price depends on each person's preference for style and financial conditions, and is usually around 10,000.
What the woman wants to buy is:
(1) A suit, two shirts, two ties, and two pairs of shoes (casual and One pair of leather shoes each), two sets of casual clothes, a dozen socks, goldware: a bracelet and a necklace (if the red envelope for the groomsman is less than 580, you need to buy another shirt for the groomsman). (I don’t know about goldware, and I didn’t do it at that time)
(2) There are 88 pieces, 98 pieces, and 108 pieces in a set of dishes to choose from. You can buy them based on the situation. It is recommended to visit several companies and compare more, otherwise the price differences between the parties will be quite large. You also have to choose a day to send bowls. There is a saying "wendang", which is homophonic to "bowl" in Wenzhou dialect. The bowls on the market now are divided into bone china and ceramics. It is recommended to buy ceramic bowls, which are resistant to high temperatures and not easy to crack. Moreover, unlike bone china, they don’t easily accumulate dirt over time. Also note that it is best to buy one suitable for microwave ovens, which will be very practical in the future.
(3) The six items are citrus, pastry, dates, longan, lotus seeds and peanuts. Then give the man one of the candied golden apricots as a gift (six items can be purchased at special stores, which saves a lot of time and energy. They are specially wrapped with a washbasin and wrapping paper. You need to reserve them about a week in advance. ).
3. Engagement day: There are currently two types of engagement banquets. One is at noon, where the groom’s parents and groomsmen are invited to a banquet at the woman’s house, and in the evening, the groom invites the woman back. The other is for both parents and close relatives and friends to hold a banquet in a hotel to get engaged. Generally speaking, more people in urban areas now choose the latter. In the afternoon, the man drives to the woman's home dressed up to greet the woman and her parents, and gives the woman's brother or sister a suitcase of money (the suitcase money refers to the woman's brother or sister preventing their sister from getting married). He refuses to leave with his suitcase, and he will not let him go until you give him money. This is how the elders explained it. Also, if the woman is an only child, she will give it to her mother). As for the suitcase money, it is also given on the wedding day. The money for a suitcase ranges from 5,800 to 10,800. After arriving at the hotel, serve tea to both parents and toast to relatives and friends to witness your love.
Engagement is a marriage contract, also known as a marriage contract. According to our country's folk customs, there is usually an engagement ceremony before marriage: signing a marriage contract, exchanging gifts, or setting up a matchmaker, etc. However, according to our country's current laws, engagement is not a necessary procedure before marriage. A marriage without an engagement does not lose the validity of the marriage.
Characteristics of an engagement contract: Engagement is legally a contractual act, and it is a status contract. This identity contract has several characteristics:
1. The marriage contract cannot be concluded by an agent, otherwise it will not be legally effective; that is, the marriage contract must be mutually agreed upon by both men and women before it can be established.
2. Only those with the legal ability to engage in engagement can engage in engagement behavior. The current legal definition of engagement capacity is based on age: a man has the capacity to engage when he is seventeen years old, and a woman is fifteen years old. If a marriage contract is entered into in violation of this provision, the marriage contract is not invalid, but the parties or legal representatives may request the court to revoke it. Because the marriage contract of a minor under the age of twenty must obtain the consent of the legal representative.
3. The marriage contract shall not be enforced. Although the marriage contract should be abided by, the wishes of both parties should also be followed. If one party is unable to perform, enforcement cannot be enforced.
Breach of engagement: Legally, a marriage contract has been concluded, but one party is unwilling to perform the contract without the consent of the other party. This constitutes a "breach of engagement", and the consequence is that one must be liable for damages. .
Liability for damages is divided into the following two types:
1. Compensation for property damages. That means you can claim monetary damages.
2. Compensation for mental damages. For example, the amount of consolation money is measured based on the social status, financial ability, education level, and suffering of both parties.
Dissolution of an engagement Dissolution of an engagement is different from breach of contract. A breach of an engagement is a unilateral breach, while the dissolution of an engagement can be divided into two types: unilateral dissolution and mutual dissolution.
1. Termination by both parties: It means both parties agree to terminate the engagement. Whether or not they demand compensation for damages will be clear after they have made it clear to each other.
2. Unilateral termination: The engagement must be terminated unilaterally based on the reasons specified by the law. For example, if the other party is engaged to someone else or marries someone else, the engagement can be terminated unilaterally. In addition, if one party is subject to a "declaration of injunction", that is, the person has lost his or her mind, is mentally weak, or has had adulterous sexual relations with others, this situation may allow the other party to consider unilateral termination. Legal unilateral termination of the engagement is not considered a breach of the engagement and does not require legal liability for damages.
An engagement is also called "Wedding". It used to be called "Naji" and "Nazheng". Although engagement is not as complicated as marriage, traditional customs are still very important. Both men and women need to Prepare a number of gifts, and the process is as follows:
·The groom first performs family sacrifices at home, and then takes a car with the matchmaker to the bride's house to marry. After getting off the car and entering the door, the red envelope cannot escape!
(1) Tribute Officer: Commonly known as "Mr. Security Box", he is responsible for giving gifts and hiring. The tribute officer must control the number of people (an even number), the vehicles (six or twelve), the bride price (an even number and properly wrapped in red paper), and six gifts.
(2) Family Sacrifice: Before setting off to the woman’s home to accept the gift, the man first performs an ancestor worship ceremony at home. At this time, the “box cake” or large cake used for the gift will be offered as an incense offering. The ancestors of the Song Dynasty are about to go to the bride's house somewhere to hire a bride, and ask the ancestors to bless this marriage to be happy and happy.
(3) Departure: After the family sacrifices, the tribute officer is responsible for carrying all the betrothal gifts into the car, and the groom and the matchmaker ride together to go to the bride's house.
(4) Red envelopes: In addition to taking care of the number of people, cars, and betrothal gifts before departure, the Gongli Palace must also remind the groom to prepare more red envelopes. For example: the uncle who comes to open the groom's car door, the "pressing table", and the six accompanying relatives all need to prepare the bride's meeting gifts, the bride's new friends holding face wash, and the matchmaker's gifts.
· How to make a betrothal after making a lifelong commitment
"Eat the fragrance of rice and marry a good son-in-law." Among the six rites, there must be rice cakes.
·Why prepare four-color candies?
It symbolizes the sweetness of the newlyweds and their longevity.
The betrothal gift not only represents the man's repayment to the woman's parents and thanks the woman's family for their hard work in raising the soon-to-be bride, but it also represents the man's face. Therefore, most people are willing to buy something that will make them look glamorous and decent, and every betrothal gift also contains the symbolic meaning of seeking good luck and increasing perfection.
Betrothal gifts are usually divided into simple six-piece gifts or elaborate twelve-piece gifts. The amount of betrothal gifts is arranged according to personal budget. At the same time, you may also ask a matchmaker to consult the girl’s parents and ask her for her opinions to create the best of both worlds. .
·The marriage between man and woman is officially launched
Thunder! Firecrackers sound, and the man to marry has arrived! On that day, ancestor worship and tea service are carried out, and the ceremony is not completed until the ring is worn that will hold the hand until the end of the head.
·After the big gift, how does the woman return the gift?
Chinese people have always paid attention to "reciprocity of courtesy". After the man has given a big gift, the woman will naturally prepare a gift in return, but she cannot let the man go away empty-handed.
Han Nationality - Marriage Customs
In the past, the marriages of Han young people were mostly arranged by their parents. Most of them were engaged by their parents when they were young, and some even married on the fingertips, that is, before the children were born. At birth, both parents establish a marriage relationship for them.
No marriage between men and women with the same surname: that is, men and women with the same surname should not marry each other. This rule began in the early Western Zhou Dynasty and was a legacy left over from when the Zhou people practiced exogamy. In the Spring and Autumn Period, people had further understanding that marriage with the same surname would cause deformities and infertility in the offspring, but marriages with the same surname still occurred from time to time among the nobles. After the Warring States Period, family names were used as surnames. After the Han Dynasty, surnames were not distinguished, so it was common for people with the same surname not to marry. By the Tang Dynasty, marriages with the same surname were prohibited according to the ancient system. The Song and Yuan Dynasties had the same Tang law. People with the same surname were married and divorced. During the Ming and Qing Dynasties, the area was larger and the population was large. It had already become a region-based society, replacing the original clan based on blood. Therefore, "Ming Code" and "Qing Code" both have the same surname and the same clan. On the surface, both laws prohibit intermarriage. In fact, marriages can be made if the same surname but different clans are different. In the late Qing Dynasty, the laws were compiled to combine the non-marriage between people with the same surname and the non-marriage between relatives, and only prohibited marriage within the same clan.
Before getting engaged, a matchmaker should be invited to the bride’s house to propose marriage. When getting engaged, the man gives the woman some property as a "betrothal gift". When getting married, the woman also brings a lot of property to the man's family, which is called a "dowry".
On the wedding day, the groom will get in a ceremonial car or sedan chair and go to the bride's home to "welcome" her bride. There will be a band in front of the ceremonial car or sedan chair. After the bride is welcomed into the groom's home, she must pay homage to heaven, earth and her parents. After the ceremony, the newlyweds enter the bridal chamber. At this time, the groom's family held a banquet to entertain relatives and friends who came to congratulate him.
In some places, there is a habit of making noise in the wedding room and listening to the comments.
Check the date: Han marriage customs. Also known as reporting the date. Popular in most counties and townships in Guangxi. A step in rural marriage negotiation. After the young man and woman get to know each other, they inform their parents and ask a matchmaker to communicate. The man gives the woman a gift and then decides on a wedding date.
In the old days, fortune tellers were often asked to arrange the "eight characters", and the fortune teller would only proceed if the fortunes were consistent. In some places, both parents meet to betroth their children. For example, in Quanzhou County, after both parties reach an agreement, the matchmaker will send wine, meat, clothing and materials to the woman on behalf of the man, and will accompany the woman's parents and uncle to the man's house on an agreed date, and the man will host a banquet. The young man holds a pot and pours wine, first to the woman's uncle and then to his own uncle, and then to the guest and then the host. The two parties agreed on a wedding date and the engagement was successful. Afterwards, the man and woman give the woman heavy gifts and betrothal money, the woman prepares the dowry, the man prepares furniture, and the wedding is held as scheduled. If the woman is urging marriage, she will make a pair of glutinous rice cakes (commonly known as "Reunion cakes") and send them to the man's house. The man will understand and treat her warmly and invite his neighbors to accompany him. Generally, the woman's suggestion to advance the wedding date is respected.
Helangge: Han marriage custom, popular in Xing'an County in northeastern Guangxi. After the church service and dinner, relatives and friends gathered around the groom in the main hall and sang congratulatory songs. Improvised congratulatory messages, including joking and humorous remarks. Relatives and friends sing a song, and the groom drinks a glass of wine. Singing until midnight, the bridegroom is sent into the bridal chamber. The female singer waits behind closed doors, while the man and woman sing "Opening the Door Song" due to each other, and then open the door after enjoying themselves. After entering the house, sing and make noise in the room, from "Congratulations to the groom on one glass of wine" to "Ten glasses of wine", and the groom drinks from 1 to 10 glasses in turn (if you are not strong enough to drink, the male singer can drink on his behalf). Then "Mating Wine" is sung, and the newlyweds drink together. Finally, the singer knocked on the door and sang "Knocking on the Door Song" to end the wedding.
Sitting in the red hall: a Han marriage custom popular in Quanzhou County in northeastern Guangxi. On the eve of their marriage, young men and women worship their ancestors in their own homes and receive admonitions from their elders. The bride wears a red pendant and is accompanied by her classmates. She sits in the hall and sings the "Crying Wedding Song" softly and softly, in memory of her parents and the love between sisters. The sisters told the bride to be filial to the elderly and to be harmonious to her brothers and sisters after she passed away, and praised the groom for his handsomeness and hard work. When the bride expressed her dissatisfaction, the sisters tried to comfort her. Singing late into the night, Yi Yiyi bid farewell and gave gifts. The groom was also accompanied by his brothers in the same class and sat in the main hall of his home, receiving lessons from his elders about being diligent, thrifty, managing the family, and how to behave in the world. After the teaching, the old man retired, the young men joked and chased the groom, and the fun ended late at night.
Asking for keys: Han marriage custom is popular in Quanzhou County in northeastern Guangxi. The bride's wedding key is held by the "bridal groom" appointed by her younger siblings or nephews. Before the ceremony, the groom sends a package to the groom to ask for the key so that he can open the box after the ceremony and display the rice, money and goods inside, symbolizing a bumper harvest and a wealthy family after the marriage. There were too few bridegrooms to accept the bridegroom, and the groom added many times. The groom accepts the package, and after the groom obtains the key, he happily pays homage to the bride.
House viewing: one of the wedding customs of the Han people and an important procedure in rural marriage negotiations. Also known as housekeeping and housekeeping. Popular in most counties and townships in Guangxi. At that time, the woman and two girls called "accompanying aunts", accompanied by more than 10 relatives and friends, will visit the men and women to check on their families (sometimes the woman herself will not go). The man hosted a banquet for the guests. The matchmaker introduces the parties to the marriage proposal. When the woman's relatives and friends ask for financial gifts on her behalf, the man usually agrees and gives "travel money" to the guests. The next day, both parties discussed the matter in detail through a matchmaker. In some places, it is even allowed to enter the inner chamber of the man who is planning to marry, rummage through the cabinets, and check the true situation, and then discuss the marriage through a matchmaker.
Black house robbery: a Han marriage custom popular in He County, Guidong. In Xiacheng Mountain District, after the bride cried for two days and two nights, she hid in a dark room with her female companions early in the morning on the wedding day. After the men's and women's wedding teams arrive, the bride's brother (or cousin) and the powerful young man break in through the door. The female companion threw sand and waved bamboo branches to resist. The snatcher tried to drag the female companions out of the door to eliminate interference. If the two snatchers are defeated, the number of people will increase to 4 or even 10, until the bride is forced to go out. Then the two (or four) women in the groom's wedding team take turns carrying the bride to the groom's house. During the competition for bride-grabs, men wiped pots and smoke on women while women tore off men's clothes, turning the ancient tradition of bride-grabs into a slapstick game between young men and women.
Colorful sayings in worship hall: Han marriage custom, popular in most counties and villages in Guangxi. An important procedure in the wedding. The groom's uncle often lights a pair of wedding candles on the altar table and says congratulations and blessings. For example, colorful sayings are commonly used in He County, Guidong: "The dragon shines alone, shining high in the palace, the husband and wife live together, and they are blessed with fortune and wealth." After the congratulatory speech, the bride and groom worshiped heaven, earth, ancestors, and got married.
Returning to the door: an old Han marriage custom. That is, on the third, sixth, seventh, ninth, or tenth day after the marriage or on the full moon, the son-in-law will return to his natal home with the bride, carrying gifts, and pay homage to the wife's parents and relatives. The ceremony of becoming a son-in-law is now complete. This custom originated in ancient times and is generally called "Guining", which means returning home to visit parents after marriage. In later generations, the names varied from place to place. In the Song Dynasty, it was called "Baimen"; in the Qing Dynasty, it was called "Shuanghuimen" in the north; "Huiqin" in the south; in some areas of Hebei, it was called "Huo Guye"; in Hangzhou, it was called "Hui Lang". In modern times, Tongbao is also known as the "Returning Gate of Three Dynasties" on the third day after marriage. This is the last ceremony of the marriage. It means that the daughter will not forget the gift of upbringing from her parents, and the son-in-law will thank his parents-in-law and the newlyweds for their love and beauty. Generally, the bride's family will host a banquet, and the new son-in-law will be seated at the table, accompanied by the elders of the family. . The newlyweds may return on the same day or stay for a few days. If they stay, they may not stay in the same room.