Etiquette and customs - important customs for engaged men and women to get married. During the late Qing Dynasty and the Republic of China, matchmakers traveled between the homes of men and women to negotiate matches. If the woman’s family (mainly her parents) agrees, they will write down the year, month, day, and hour of the woman’s birth. Then the man’s family (mainly her parents) will send the horoscopes of both men and women to a fortune teller for calculation. Commonly known as "combined eight characters". If they are compatible, they agree to the marriage and keep the girl's horoscope; if they are not compatible, they will return the girl's horoscope. After the horoscopes are combined, the matchmaker immediately announces the good news to the woman. As long as the woman has no objections, the marriage is basically confirmed. Later, the man brings betrothal gifts and horoscopes to the woman, and the woman returns shoes and hats to the man as a sign of marriage, which is called an engagement. After 1949, feudal matchmakers gradually disappeared, and bad habits such as central matchmaking and horoscopes also gradually disappeared. The marriage between a man and a woman is generally determined by getting to know each other by themselves and being introduced by others, and then they get to know each other, build love, and confirm the relationship. Introduction by others only serves as a bridge. Whether or not to marry is up to both parties independently. No third party (including parents) is allowed to arrange or interfere.
Etiquette and Customs - Betrothal Gifts When a man and a woman are engaged and married, the man's family will give the woman's family pork, chicken, duck, cigarettes, wine, tea, and the wealthy family will give pearls, agate, gem rings, bracelets, necklaces, etc. Betrothal gift is a traditional and ancient custom in Hunan Province’s wedding customs. The amount of the bride price depends on the financial conditions of the man’s family. This custom continues to this day, and with the improvement of living standards, men send more and more betrothal gifts to women. In the 1950s and 1960s, men usually gave women 4 to 8 sets of clothes and meat for banquets as betrothal gifts; in the 1970s, they gave women sewing machines, bicycles, watches, and radios, which is called "three turns and one ring". After the 1980s, Give away color TV sets, cassette players, refrigerators, sofas and cash, the value of which ranges from thousands of yuan to tens of thousands of yuan. However, the betrothal gifts given by the man, in addition to the dishes for the banquet, are generally brought to the man as dowry items from the woman.
Etiquette and customs—marriage, also known as marriage. After the man chooses an auspicious date to get married, the matchmaker will inform the woman with a sticker a few months or earlier before the wedding, so that the woman can prepare the dowry. The amount of dowry depends on the amount of bride price given by the man and the wealth of the woman's family. The poor only have one or two quilts and a small amount of furniture; the rich have a gold-lacquered bed, tables, chairs, chests, or a dowry, maids, and cattle and horses. When the groom's family is getting married, the groom's family will prepare a sedan chair and a band, which will be led by the matchmaker to the bride's family. The bride's family will place an incense table at the gate. When the sedan chair arrives, rice will be thrown over it, which is called "receiving the sedan chair." Afterwards, a banquet was held to entertain the wedding team. That night, the girl's family was preparing a banquet in the living room. The mother sat on top of the banquet, and the girl sat next to her. The old woman Fuze was chosen to lead the drink, which was called "Li Niang Wine". After three rounds of wine, he brought his daughter back to the house and invited his aunts and sisters to sing. After each song, the matchmaker asked for money from the flower box, which was called "flower box hunting". Early the next morning, when the sedan is turned around, the bride wears a large bronze mirror on her chest (to ward off evil spirits), a phoenix crown, an oolong handkerchief, or an hydrangea handkerchief on her head to say goodbye to her ancestors. Then, Mrs. Fuze carried the sedan chair. After the bride gets on the sedan chair, she locks the sedan door and her uncle or other relatives or children take care of the keys. Rice is thrown on the sedan chair, and the band fills the road. The dows go first, and the female uncle, brothers and male relatives send them off to the bridegroom's house. The bridal sedan sets off. If you encounter an official sedan on the way, the bridal sedan should take the main road (left) and the official sedan should take the small side (right). Because marriage is a major event in life, it is commonly known as "little admission", and officials must give in to each other. If the bridal sedan meets the bridal sedan, the brides must exchange scissors with each other. Whenever crossing mountains or bridges, the bride should give red envelopes to the bearers to express condolences and hint to be more careful. When the first lady is carried to the groom's house and enters the main door, the married woman weighs her symbolically with a scale and says "it weighs a thousand catties", which means good luck and good fortune after marriage. When the sedan chair arrives at the groom's house, the son-in-law should go outside the village to greet him and take over umbrellas and other gifts from the guests. At the same time, an incense table was set up to receive the sedan, and Mrs. Fu Ze was chosen as the maid. The maid opened the sedan and guided the bride into the ancestral hall. The husband and the son-in-law worshiped the ancestors, worshiped heaven and earth, then worshiped the high hall, the husband and wife worshiped each other, and then worshiped the aunt, uncle, and all the guests. They meet each other in turn, which is called "worship hall", and then the maid leads them into the bridal chamber. That night, friends, relatives, and young people from the neighborhood went to the wedding room to entertain the bride and groom with ginger tea. The day before the wedding is for matchmaking, and the day after the wedding is for individual customers. After 1949, there were no fixed rules for weddings. However, because marriage is a joyful event in life, people tend to gather relatives and friends to celebrate together. Hakkas send gifts to congratulate them, and the host family prepares banquets to reward them. In rural areas, there are still people who follow the old marriage customs. From 1957 to 1979, weddings were newly organized, and weddings were kept simple. Some people participated in group weddings, and some got married while traveling. After the 1980s, ostentation and extravagance in weddings became increasingly popular, and extravagance and waste became a serious trend.
Etiquette and Customs - Crying Marriage Crying marriage is an important wedding custom in some areas of Hunan Province, especially in Chenzhou, Yongzhou, Hengyang and other regions. Crying at marriage means not only the girl getting married crying alone, but also the mother and daughter crying together, and the girl getting married crying together or to each other. You cry, I cry, my face is full of tears and I cry. The contents of crying are complex and varied, such as crying for parents, crying for uncles and aunts, crying for sisters, crying for farewell to ancestors, crying for bad luck and poor family, crying for not going to school and not knowing how to read, etc. There are also etiquettes on the eve of marriage. Various rituals such as opening the face, combing the hair, arranging flowers, and worshiping ancestors are part of the wedding ceremony. On the wedding night, the wedding crying reaches its climax. The married girl and the accompanying girl cried one by one according to the wedding etiquette, almost all night long. Crying at marriage is a way of expressing one's heart. It is also related to the belief that only when one cries will one's family prosper, and only when one cries one's mother's family will the prosperity of the family be prosperous. The expressions of crying for marriage imply deep affection, such as a mother crying while advising her daughter: "Mother advises you to go out and be filial to your parents. Heaven and earth know that a husband and wife will be harmonious for a hundred years, and uncles and brothers must be harmonious."
The daughter was crying while advising her mother: "I advise you, take care of yourself. May you be blessed with great blessings. May your parents be harmonious for a hundred years, and your family be prosperous for generations to come." The daughter was crying while asking for her wedding clothes: "A good horse has no saddle. A good person has no clothes but someone will bully him. Grandpa and grandma, please be merciful and give me a few more sets of clothes." The way of crying is different from the usual way of crying. It is not a cry or a low position, but a kind of performance. A cry-singing style, repeating "um-uh-uh-uh-uh-ah" from slow to fast. Being able to cry is a sign of being well-educated, which is the result of training in marriage companionship in the past. After 1949, the custom of crying marriage gradually disappeared.
Etiquette and Customs - Noisy in the bridal chamber, also known as noisy bride. This is a custom where guests and young people from the neighborhood tease the bride on her wedding night. After the wedding banquet, the guests and young people from the neighborhood asked the groom to "see the bride." So, the groom accompanied everyone into the bridal chamber. When entering the bridal chamber, everyone often has to recite four congratulations, such as: "The tea tray is golden, the tea is deep, the husband and wife are in love, and they will hold their children and grandchildren early." At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, the maid or one of the guests recommends someone to light the red date lamp placed in the bed tent, which is called "adding a child". After the wedding, the maid helps the bride and groom stand in the room, while the guests sit around them. If the bridal chamber cannot accommodate the guests, the bride will be quarreled in the main hall. When the bride offered the wedding candy and sweet tea to the host and guest, the host and guest deliberately refused to accept it and gave it to the person sitting next to her, who also gave it to the person sitting next to her. In this way, although the bride was pacing back and forth in the room, everyone still ignored her, so the quarrel with the bride began. Afterwards, the bride is asked to sing, dance, or hugged by the bride and groom. Some ask questions for the bride and groom to answer, and some play pranks by making the bed of the bride and groom wet or putting ants on them, making it difficult to sleep that night. In short, there are various programs and methods for having fun in the bridal chamber, which are humorous and have no taboos. "Making a fuss in the bridal chamber" and "noising the bride" are done to bless the bride and groom, so no matter men, women, old or young, they can make a fuss. For the bride and groom, it is of course a big trouble, but they have to accept this "celebration". Today, although the custom of having a wedding ceremony has changed a lot and is much more civilized and has the characteristics of the times, this custom is still passed down.
Etiquette and customs - one of the marriage forms of Langyao, Miao, Dong and Han people. It is popular in many areas across the province, with Jianghua Yao and Chengbu Miao being the most popular. Women of the Yao ethnic group in the mountainous areas enjoy a higher status and generally do not marry outside. They stay at home to "find a husband." People who do not have a daughter often have to "pick up" a daughter. When she grows up, she "recruits a man" to continue the family. And asking a man to get married is called "recruiting a husband", "bringing in a wife" or "turning in the door". After the "recruiter" enters the family, the matriarch of the family calls him son or nephew, avoid calling him son-in-law or nephew; peers call him brother or brother, avoid calling him brother-in-law or brother-in-law; juniors call him uncle or uncle, avoid calling him uncle, to avoid "people with other surnames". Suspicion. The groom who visits the house has the right to control property and inheritance in the girl's family. "Zhao Lang" can be divided into "two different surnames" and "men follow the female surname". "Liangbubuzong" is also known as "walking on both sides" and "half-recruitment". That is, after marriage, both men and women have to take care of the production and life of the family. The first child born takes the mother's surname, the second takes the father's surname, and so on. "The man adopts the woman's surname" means that after a man comes to the woman's family, gives birth and lives in the woman's family, he changes his surname to the woman's, and all the children born to him take the mother's surname. In the Han Chinese "zhaolang" marriage, after a man "zhaolang" or "comes into the girl's family", he will change his surname to the woman's surname, and the children born will not take the mother's surname, which is not very strict. There are those who change the surname to the woman and the children take the mother's surname, and there are also those who do not change the surname to the woman and the children do not take the mother's surname.
Etiquette and Customs - Congratulations on Birthday This is a birthday custom in Hunan Province after the birth of a baby. After the child was born, the whole family was extremely happy. The son-in-law immediately went to his father-in-law's house to announce the birth, which is also called the good news. When a child reaches the age of three, especially the first child, the grandmother will ask someone to pick up food such as rice, glutinous rice, wine, liqueur, chicken, duck, eggs, pork, pig legs, etc., and give the baby clothes, pants, and shoes. Socks, hats and other clothing, as well as the new baby's nest and the quilt pads, small quilts, suspenders, flowered skirts and other items in the baby's nest, went to celebrate the birth and visit the nephew and Yue Po. Other relatives and friends send earrings or necklace locks of "long life and wealth" to congratulate the child on its auspicious birth. The host holds a banquet for the child, which is called "making ginger wine", and washes the child three times. After that, when the child turns 100 days old or turns one year old, banquets are often held to invite guests to celebrate. This custom has been followed to this day, and the banquet standards are getting higher and higher, and the cost is getting higher and higher.