they went to a post station and saw the banner of "China Mobile Shenzhou Card, while learning from the scriptures", so they could not help but be tempted, so they sold the Zijin Bowl and bought a mobile phone
.
while walking, Pig Bajie sends messages to Gao Laozhuang's wife, and at the same time flirts with Spider Essence and Centipede Essence.
the Monkey King's hometown is too far away from the mainland, and no base station has been installed, so Monkey Sun of Huaguoshan can't get in touch with him, and he is very angry.
Tang Priest usually doesn't have anyone to fight, but he keeps keeping accounts on his mobile phone, including three steamed buns and two pickles ...
Friar Sand is rather sophisticated. He takes photos of the scenery with his mobile phone while walking, and then publishes his travel notes on the Internet, earning money at the same time. He is not halfway through the journey of learning from the classics.
He is already a well-known travel writer ...
One day he walked to a small demon cave. . .
As soon as the three goblins in Shituo Cave appeared, the Monkey King called Tathagata. "Tathagata? Your birds, lions and elephants have all escaped, so
take them away quickly, or I'll call the zoo! Sue you for cruelty to animals! ！”
Tang Priest calls Tathagata every day, chattering endlessly, reporting the difficulties on the road, and telling his men, "Put your goblins away quickly,
and let Tang Priest go quickly, or complaining once a day will bore me to death."
When he arrived at Wuzhuangguan, Zhenyuan Daxian presented the ginseng fruit. Pig Bajie was very careful this time. He took out his mobile phone and looked at it over and over again. Daxian was surprised
and asked him what he was looking at. Bajie said, "Find an anti-counterfeiting label and make a fake identification call!"
four people went to a widow's house to spend the night, and they slept soundly in the middle of the night. All four people's cell phones rang, and a voice rang-"Do you want to find little sister?" The Monkey King said impatiently, "Mother Lishan, Nanhai Bodhisattva, don't pretend. We won't be fooled. I know your mobile phone number."
Bai Gujing turned into a beautiful woman, carrying a basket full of food, trying to seduce the four teachers and disciples. The Tang Priest, who had been silent all the time, suddenly burst out laughing and pointed at the woman and said, "She is a demon!" The Monkey King asked curiously, "Why does Master have a critical eye?" The Tang Priest proudly held up his mobile phone and said,
"The camera of my mobile phone has infrared perspective function, and 5,2 silver is not white, hehe."
Pig Bajie peeked at the spider essence in the silk hole to take a bath, and was entangled by the demon's silk. Pig, who has always been weak, turned on his mobile phone and played a ringtone to repel insects
. In the intermittent ultrasonic oscillation waves, the spider essence twitched and rolled his eyes. Pig came out of the net and said, "Little sample, do you still think you are Spider-Man?"
When they arrived in Tongtian River, they felt sad for a while, so they went to Mr. Chen's house for the night. Mr. Chen complained that the monster in this river wanted to eat their children
, and the Monkey King was furious. After a long time, the monster died ... Four people crossed the river in a huge old turtle, and the old turtle had no other request.
Tang Priest suspected that the Monkey King was using his mobile phone to speak ill of Tathagata, so he drove the Monkey King away. the Monkey King was depressed and went to the Dragon Palace as a guest. When the Dragon King saw Sun Wu
carrying a mobile phone empty, he was envious and wanted to buy one. the Monkey King laughed at him and said, "There is no signal in the water. What's the use of buying it?" After that, he pulled the gold hoop < P > stick out of his ear and threw it back to the Dragon King, saying, "Since I have a mobile phone, I don't need it anymore, so I'll give it back to you!"
The ringtone of Tang Priest's mobile phone is a "Jackfruit Classic", and the alarm clock is a morning bell in his temple that year. The ringtone of the Monkey King's mobile phone is < P >, and the alarm clock is the cry of a lark in Huaguoshan that year. The ringtone of Pig Bajie's mobile phone is vulgar, "The Moon Represents My Heart", and the alarm clock shouts "< P > Dinner! ！” ; The ringtone of Friar Sand's mobile phone is an ordinary ringtone, and there is no alarm clock at all-the alarm clocks of the other three people have all rung, so do you still need to set them with
?
xiaoxin: hi! Beauty, take off your glasses!
xiaoxin: do you like green peppers, miss?
Xiaoxin: I hate eating green peppers and carrots. What about you?
xiaoxin: elder sister, do you wear a high-fork bathing suit?
woman: what are you doing, little friend?
xiaoxin: playing hide-and-seek with the rain.
Woman (locking Xiaoxin on the balcony): You stay here!
xiaoxin: mom, mom, I won't do it again! You forgive me.
woman: how about my rice balls, little friend?
xiaoxin: how can you get married with such poor craftsmanship?
Woman: ...
Xiaoxin: But you are very kind and deserve a chance.
Xiao Xin VS teacher
Teacher: Xiao Xin, you have to imagine painting. Try closing your eyes
Xiao Xin: Oh? !
teacher: yes, that's it. what do you see?
xiaoxin: it's dark!
Teacher: Xiaoxin, what's this (clay) you pinched?
xiaoxin: fart fox.
teacher: a fox is a fox, but how can it be a fart fox?
xiaoxin: because I pinched my ass.
Mr. Ji Yong: "Xiaoxin, your beautiful work is so good that the school will send you to participate in the city-wide competition tomorrow. "
Xiaoxin:" No "
Teacher Ji Yong:" Why? "
Xiaoxin: "My father did the work, and he will go to work tomorrow"
Teacher Ji Yong: "Xiaoxin, how did you steal your classmate's eraser? Don't you think about your parents when you do such a thing? "
xiaoxin: "I just thought about it. So you don't have to spend your parents' money.
Teacher Ji Yong: "Xiaoxin, please use" dilemma "to make sentences.
Xiaoxin:" I was in a dilemma during the exam. "
Teacher Ji Yong:" Is it because I can't answer the questions that you are in a dilemma? "
Xiaoxin: "No, it's the different answers from my classmates, which puts me in a dilemma."
Teacher Ji Yong: "Xiaoxin, your problem is the improper use of words. Now you can use an idiom to describe Teacher Ji Yong's happiness."
Xiaoxin: "Smiling with Jiuquan"
Teacher Ji Yong: "Xiaoxin, you have written your homework well recently."
Xiaoxin: "My dad has no place to go at night, so he has to stare at me at home and do my homework."
Teacher Ji Yong: "What will tadpoles become when they grow up?"
Xiaoxin: "Pan."
Mr. Ji Yong: "Now, in the first aid class, do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation first. What will happen if you repeat this?"
Xiaoxin: "Someone will sue you for sexual harassment."
Teacher Ji Yong: "Now you are in the first aid class, and someone is injured. What should you do first?"
Xiaoxin: "I know. Ask him if he wants to donate organs?"
Mr. Ji Yong: "Boys and girls will have secondary sexual characteristics when they reach puberty, and girls' flat breasts will bulge, just like ..."
Xiaoxin: "Like double airbags"
Xiaoxin: "Mr. Ji Yong, I have to go to the toilet"
Mr. Ji Yong: "No, it's class time, why didn't you go after class just now?"
Xiaoxin: "The time after class is so precious, what a pity to use it to go to the toilet!"
Xiaoxin VS sister
Xiaokui: "Brother, what should we do if some delinquent teenagers blackmail us?"
Xiao Xin: "Run after him"
Xiao Kui: "Can you beat them?"
Xiaoxin: "I just need to outrun you"
Mei Jing: "Don't go to school alone to avoid being blackmailed by bad teenagers"
Xiaoxin: "But my classmates won't come with me"
Mei Jing: "Why?"
Xiao Kui: "They are afraid of being blackmailed by their brother"
Xiao Xin: "Sister, why do you study so hard?"
Sister: "It's all because of you"
Xiaoxin: "Me?"
Sister: "Yes, someone in our family must be promising!"
Mei Jing: "Mom and Dad have something to do tonight, and they will be back very late."
Xiaoxin: "Then I will be very tired!"
Mei Jing: "Why?"
Xiaoxin: "I will be tired of watching TV"
Sister: "Brother, you are the person I have ever met who loves cleanliness"
Xiaoxin: "I'm flattered. How did you tell?"
Sister: "No matter what you do, you push it completely"
Xiaoxin VS others
Xiaoxin VS Guangzhi
Guangzhi: "You see how touching the story of Twenty-four Filial Piety is, can you do it?"
Xiaoxin: "At least I can do the same thing, and sell myself to bury my father."
Hiroshi: "What? Xiaoxin, you are looking at pictures of naked women! Doing such a thing at an early age? Say! Where did these photos come from? "
Xiaoxin: "I took it in your drawer"
Xiaoxin VS Hazama jade
Xiaoxin: You lack a little emotion in this painting
Hazama jade: How ...
Xiaoxin: Look at mine-
(Write your name "Shinnosuke" on the painting)
Xiaoxin: That's good.
Hazama jade: It's wrong for you to dance like this.
xiaoxin: don't worship me.
Hazama jade: I didn't!
xiaoxin: don't be shy.
Hazama jade: Me neither!
Xiaoxin VS Xiaomao
Xiaomao: "My mother is a master and my father is a doctor."
Xiaoxin: "What's the big deal!"
Xiao Mao: "Who are your parents?"
Xiaoxin: "My father is a man and my mother is a lady."
Xiaoxin VS fish shop owner
Xiaoxin: "Do you sell soy sauce?"
fish shop owner: "No."
Xiaoxin: "Do you have mustard?"
fish shop owner: "No."
Xiaoxin: "How dare you open a shop when you have nothing?"
Xiaoxin VS politician
Politician: What do you like, children?
child a: I like to eat.
child b: I like my parents.
xiaoxin: I like ladies in bikinis.
Guangzhi: Honey, I'm back.
Xiaoxin: Dad, you're back. By the way, what's the private money?
guangzhi: what, private money? Honey, what is this?
Xiaoxin: Mr. Team Leader, let's peek at the women's bath!
dean; No way! Peeking at the women's bath is despicable!
Xiaoxin: I'm flattered to say that I'm despicable, hehehehehehe ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (blushing)
Dean: (dizzy) Hey, meanness is not a compliment, but a description of a person's poor personality, so you can't peek ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ < p Then let's go and see it fair and square!
(Xiaoxin and Mei Ya go to the movies)
Mei Ya: Xiaoxin, do you want to pee first?
xiaoxin: no!
(The movie is about to start)
Xiaoxin: I need to poop.
miya: why not just now?
xiaoxin: I didn't want to just now.
(at the door of the toilet)
Xiaoxin: Mom, you're welcome. Come along.
miya: get in there quickly.
Xiaoxin: But what if that uncle who is peeing wants to kidnap me?
(Beauty is on fire)
Xiaoxin: You can't afford the ransom then? !
xiaoxin: it's over.
miya: let's go.
xiaoxin: just pee another one.
xiaoxin: I'll say a few words instead of my mother who is not breathing.
mom: it should be hopeless.