The traditional wedding etiquette procedures in my country are as follows:
Since the pre-Qin period, people have agreed on a set of "six rites" for the union of men and women. After being advocated by generations of rulers, today, traditional weddings have developed into twenty or thirty procedures. The whole process of part of the traditional wedding etiquette is: giving birth to horoscopes, confirming Geng, asking for permission, marrying, choosing a date, reporting the date, breaking off the marriage, accompanying gifts, passing gifts, accompanying ten brothers, accompanying ten sisters, saying goodbye to parents, crying to marry, and proposing. , stop carriages and horses, pick up promotions, make marriage arrangements, visit the church, make house arrangements, drink "head-rectifying tea", and return home. There are also more complicated ones: making an alliance, paying homage, asking for happiness, announcing the date, getting married, accompanying ten sisters, making love, weeping to marry, saying goodbye, proposing a bride, issuing a number (hanging a plaque), stopping carriages and horses, treating evil spirits, welcoming Dowry, worship, pass tea, drink wine, enter the bridal chamber, make the bed, enthrone, accompany the groom, accompany the ten brothers, accompany the bride, accompany the bride, accompany the matchmaker, thank the matchmaker, present the suitcase, put on shoes, cook, and return home. These elaborate rituals are still popular in some places today.
Blind date: Men and women decide their own marriage matters based on the opinions of their parents and a matchmaker. If they think they are a good match, they will press the age and birth date of both parties on the bottom of a clean tea cup in front of the statue of the Kitchen God. to speculate on God’s will. If there is nothing unusual at home within three days, ask a fortune teller to see if the year and age are compatible and whether the zodiac signs are incompatible. In the past, some people had superstitious beliefs about the so-called big conflict in six years and the small conflict in three years: men should marry at double age and women should not marry at 19: chicken and dog (rooster and dog do not get along), dragon and tiger (dragon and tiger fight), tiger and sheep (sheep fall into conflict). Tiger's mouth) and snakes and rats (snake swallowing rats) are difficult to match. In fact, these have no scientific basis.
Betrothal: Before the engagement, the man will ask the matchmaker to wrap the gift money and betrothal gift in red paper, and then the matchmaker will deliver them to the woman's home. The betrothal gift is determined according to local customs and usually includes gold and silver jewelry. The woman will give a gift in return. When getting engaged, the man will send a "letter of approval", commonly known as "red and green paper" (two layers of paper, red on the outside and green on the inside), and the woman will send a "reply note" of approval, commonly known as "wedding paper". So in the old days, if a husband and wife quarreled, the wife would often say, "I have red and green writing paper" in order to restrain her husband. After getting married, choose an auspicious day to get married. When getting engaged, you need to give gifts. The gifts are mostly cash, or wedding silk curtains or wedding shafts, and are written with the words "a happy marriage for a hundred years, a prosperous marriage for five generations", "a match made in heaven", etc. Wedding gifts are mostly embroidered or satin quilt covers, quilt tops or daily utensils. Some also give red dates, peanuts, longans and lotus seeds, which means "having a precious son early".
Marriage: Three to five days before the wedding, the man gives the woman a "carriage in front of the sedan chair", usually meat and fish. The day to welcome the bride is called "good day", also called "please have a drink". A few days before the wedding, the groom will personally or send someone to deliver the wedding invitations to the homes of relatives and friends.
Moving the dowry: On the day before the wedding, the man goes to the woman’s house to move the dowry, and the woman places the dowry in the hall for people to watch, which is called "looking at the dowry." The utensils are covered with red threads, the clothes are smoked with sandalwood, and several silver coins are placed at the bottom of the box, which is commonly known as "box money". The dowry is moved to the groom's side and displayed in the hall for people to view, which is also called "viewing the dowry". The grandma takes the woman's key bag, takes the keys and opens the box, which is commonly known as "unpacking".
Setting up the bed: When getting married, setting up the bed is the top priority. Before getting married, the man will repaint the new house, and then choose the time to install the new bed based on details such as the bed's seating position and the couple's horoscope. From the time the bed is set up to the time the bride enters the house, according to ancient customs, the bed cannot be left empty, nor can one sleep alone. A boy must sleep with him until the bride enters the house at the time of the wedding. Marriage bed-laying is different from ordinary bed-laying. It is considered to be related to a happy married life, fertility, etc., so it has always been valued.
When setting up the bed in some places, a "Quanfu" woman takes 24 pairs of chopsticks, ties them with red thread, and places them under the groom's mat. The boy who sleeps with the groom is called the "best man". In the evening, the best man will be given steamed buns, peanuts, and chicken, which means "bao will give birth to a son." In the morning, the best man will also be given a red envelope. Sitting in a sedan chair: Traditional weddings attach great importance to sitting in a sedan chair. Sitting in a sedan chair also means that the matchmaker is getting married and is the first wife. A woman can only sit in a sedan chair once in her life. Some wives often say, "I was carried in a big red sedan chair, but not enough to walk in" to show off their nobility. On the day of welcoming the bride, when the sedan goes out, pure tea and four-color cakes are usually offered to the "sedan god". Along the way, muskets and firecrackers are fired, red lanterns are used to clear the way, and winds and pipes are played along the way.
Opening the face: Before getting married, the bride’s bride would use five-color cotton yarn to remove the hair on the bride’s face, which is commonly known as “opening the face” (just like the current pre-wedding beauty treatment), and the guests would enjoy the “opening the face soup”. When the groom's sedan arrives, the bride's family will set off firecrackers to welcome the sedan, and immediately leave the door open to "stop the sedan" and wait until red envelopes are stuffed before the wedding begins. The bride's family prepares the main banquet wine at noon, commonly known as "opening wine" or "wedding wine".
Getting on the sedan: Before the bride gets on the sedan, she usually has to pretend that she doesn’t want to get married. She only prepares to dress up after the groom’s wife urges her to do so three times (of course, there are also cases in feudal marriages where people really don’t want to get married). Then the bride sits on her mother's lap, and her mother feeds her daughter rice, which means not to forget the kindness of nurturing her. When the daughter is getting on the sedan chair, the mother has to cry to see her daughter off. The words she cries are mostly blessings and admonishments, such as "Respect your parents-in-law and your husband, so that good days can last long", etc. The bride also says goodbye with tears, and some even cry loudly. Finally, the bride is carried into the sedan by her elder brother. After entering the sedan and sitting down, her buttocks cannot move casually to ensure safety and stability. When the bride gets up from the sedan chair, the bride's family will set off firecrackers and sprinkle tea leaves and rice grains on the sedan chair top. The bride's brothers walk with the sedan, which is called "sending the sedan".
In urban areas, the sedan chair must be carried around the temple and ancestral hall to obtain the approval of the ancestors and gods. The brothers will return as soon as they arrive, and they should pack some fire ashes and light incense or cigarettes from the fire, and put them in the fire jar when they return home. This is commonly known as "pouring the fire ashes" or "catching the fire".
Worship: When the sedan chair enters the door, the groom’s family plays music and sets off firecrackers to welcome him lively. After the sedan stops, the bride usually has to wait in the sedan for a five or six-year-old girl dressed up to welcome her out of the sedan. When leaving the sedan door, one has to step over a wooden "saddle" painted in vermilion, step on the red felt, and be supported by the matchmaker and stand on the right side of the wedding hall, while the groom stands on the left. The person who presides over the worship ceremony is usually the groom's grandfather or uncle who has a certain prestige. After the ceremony begins, the bride and groom must both worship to heaven, earth, ancestors, parents, and husband and wife. In some places, there is a custom of kneeling in front of others. According to legend, whoever kneels in front can control the other person in the future. Later, the bride, accompanied by the groom, serves tea to the groom's parents, elders, and congratulatory relatives and friends. After the person who is being offered tea has finished drinking the tea, he or she will give the couple a "profit" (i.e. red envelope). The groom's family will then host a banquet to entertain relatives and friends.
After the complex worship ceremony, the two best men will give Dragons, phoenixes and candles walk in front, and the groom leads the bride into the bridal chamber with colorful balls and silk ribbons. The bride's feet must be walking on the sacks. There are usually 5 sacks, but there are also 10 sacks. When one passes by, Xi Niang and others pass it on. The front is laid on the road, which means "carrying on the family line" and "meeting the five generations". After entering the bridal chamber, the husband and wife sit on the edge of the bed in the order of men on the left and women on the right, which is called "sitting on the bed". Knock on the bride's head, and then take off the "turban", which means "satisfaction" and "please bring a square scarf". The groom will leave immediately after sitting down, the bride will change her makeup, and the guests will eat the "makeup change soup and fruit". The bride performs a "visiting ceremony" and kneels down to meet each other in order of relative and seniority. During the ceremony, there will be music accompaniment. Two chairs are placed in the hall, and the couple who is being worshiped sit down together. If there is one. When someone dies, he will be on the left and female on the right.