Marriage customs in Fengxin, Jiangxi
In the long feudal society, the marriage customs in Fengxin are similar to those in other places. The men and women who get married basically rely on "the orders of their parents and the matchmaker." words". Pay attention to "matching the right family, getting closer to each other". The forms of marriage can be roughly divided into several categories: marriage with fingertips, adoption of child bride, marriage with a matchmaker, and recruitment of a man (commonly known as "inside the door"). The marriage process is very complicated, and the main procedures are as follows:
After the young men and women reach the age of marriage, their parents will ask a matchmaker to go to the appropriate family to negotiate a marriage. The matchmaker sends the girl's "Geng Tie" (i.e. the year, month, day and hour of her birth) to the groom's family and calls it "Fa Ba Zi". The groom's family presses the girl's Geng Tie under the incense burner on the sacred table in the middle hall. After about seven days, everything seems to be safe. If nothing happens, the man's parents will ask the fortune teller to "combine the horoscope" with the year, month, day and hour of the man's birth and the woman's birthday. Generally, only if four or more of the horoscopes of both parties coincide, it is considered a "harmony". If they don't get along, they can also marry each other, but if they conflict with each other, they can't marry.
After the birth dates of both men and women are matched, the matchmaker will send the gift list proposed by the girl’s parents to the boy’s parents. If there is no objection, the boy will give all the gifts (gifts, jewelry, clothing materials, wine and meat) according to the gift list. , cakes, noodles, etc.) are delivered to the woman's home, which is called "Xingpin" or "Xiapin". The woman returns shoes, socks, towels, handkerchiefs and other items, and entertains her with a banquet. At the banquet, the man and woman meet, and the man gives the woman a "meeting gift".
Farewell Festival After the engagement, the marriage relationship has been confirmed, and both men and women are not allowed to terminate it without authorization. If either party changes it without authorization, he will be criticized by everyone and be looked down upon. If the man's family changes, the woman must not be asked to return the bride price; if the woman changes, the bride price must be returned to the man. After the engagement, on three festivals a year, the man prepares gifts for his father-in-law, which is called "Giving Festival", and the woman also gives certain gifts in return.
Choose a date. After the marriage relationship is confirmed, it can take as short as one year or as long as three years before getting married. Before getting married, the groom's parents usually ask a fortune teller to look through the "Almanac" to select an "auspicious day" for the wedding, write a "date sticker" on red paper, and send it to the bride's home with gifts. If you object, you will send a "Permit Date Post". In this way, the wedding date has been determined and cannot be changed without special circumstances.
After the wedding date is determined and one day before the wedding, the woman’s relatives go to the woman’s house to “give off the marriage”. After the bride meets her relatives and friends, she eats the "wedding wine" and then goes into the boudoir to cry, which is called "crying for marriage". Those who are good at "crying" will sing instead of "crying", which is euphemistic and touching. The content is nothing more than being unable to leave their parents and not forgetting their upbringing. Relatives and friends who hear the sound of "crying" often come to comfort the bride and give a certain amount of "marriage money", also known as "tears bag". Those who are good at "crying" and have many relatives and friends can reap considerable rewards in one day.
Marriage: The day before the wedding, the groom's relatives and friends go to the groom's home to congratulate him. Close relatives send generous gifts, and neighbors "join in". The groom takes a bath in the morning and is dressed freshly. "Make the bed" in the evening. It is necessary to ask the person who has "both happiness and longevity" to order a bedding, and let the boy roll over on the new bed, which is called "enthronement". On the morning of the wedding day, the matchmaker takes the sedan to the bride's house to marry the bride. Before leaving, the man often pastes a couplet on the sedan. The woman's relatives and friends welcome the sedan into the ancestral hall at the head of the village, peel off the couplet, and quickly ask the local gentleman to come out. The second couplet is pasted back to the sedan chair to show that the couple is a good match and that the man and woman are compatible. If the couple does not match the couple, they are often ridiculed as having no talent. When parents marry their daughter, they must provide a certain amount of dowry. A large dowry is called "one dowry", which is also known as "four dowry", "eight dowry", "half set" and "full set". When the bride is about to get married, she is draped in red and colorful clothes, and is helped into the sedan chair by the "maid of honor" (also known as the "maid of honor"). The bride often deliberately does not wear wedding clothes or enter the sedan chair, delaying the time to show that she cannot leave her parents and cannot forget her family. In the end, the "bridesmaid" will accompany you in a sedan chair to the groom's home.
The sedan chair enters the village, and the wedding cannons are noisy. The groom welcomes the bride into the ancestral hall. First, he "bows to the hall": first to heaven and earth, second to ancestors, and third to parents. After the couple bows to each other, they send them to the bridal chamber, and the groom The veil on the bride's head is removed, and they drink "a cup of wine" together, which is called "hexin". At noon is the main meal, and a large banquet is held, ranging from ten to twenty tables to seventy or eighty tables, to entertain relatives and friends, and everyone in the clan is seated at the table.
On the wedding night, men, women, old and young gather in the bridal chamber, cheering, singing, and having fun, which is called "bridal party". "Bridesmaids" are mostly middle-aged women who are smart, capable and articulate. She is the bride's "bridesmaid" and also the bride's protector. When the guests ask the bride to guess riddles, sing or light a cigarette and feel embarrassed, " The "maid of honor" will have the duty to act as an agent. Therefore, the "bridesmaid" is also the object of teasing and teasing among the guests. The content of the cheers is mostly blessings to newlyweds, such as the colorful words popular in Yangshan and Bathing River areas during the Republic of China: "Have a son early, and good things will come in pairs. The third yuan will be in the third year, and you will get rich in all four seasons. Five sons will pass the exam, and six will be born in the same spring. Seven sons will be reunited. "The Eight Immortals congratulate you on your birthday." Every time the cheerers say "drink", they will get a "reward" from the "bridesmaid", such as red eggs, peanuts, beans, etc., all of which are deliberately mixed with raw and cooked food. It's called "lived", which means being able to give birth.
The bridal party has to be held until late at night when everyone is tired. Bored people even "sneak" under the bed or behind the door before the bride and groom fall asleep. After the bride and groom undress and fall asleep, they suddenly snatch the door and run away, thereby threatening the bride and groom to give them money. More "rewards" are not an exaggeration according to local customs.
Returning home Three days after the wedding, the bride’s brother goes to her husband’s house to pick up her sister and her brother-in-law returns to their natal family. This is called “returning home” and the natal family must hold a banquet to receive them.
As mentioned above, in order to follow the wedding customs in the new feudal era, most of them prevailed in the families of wealthy families and prominent officials, while poor families generally kept it simple due to economic constraints. These old customs were basically inherited from the late Qing Dynasty to the founding of New China, although their content and form changed slightly due to the passage of time and the influence of war and other factors.
After the founding of New China, with the promulgation of the Marriage Law, the old marriage system was gradually abolished and the cumbersome marriage procedures were gradually simplified. Parents are in a state of semi- or non-control over their children's marriages, and men and women are becoming increasingly cautious in choosing spouses. After a man and a woman get to know each other on their own or through someone's introduction, if they like each other, they will tell their parents, and the woman's parents will invite the family or main relatives to the man's house to discuss major marriage matters, which is called "checking the family" or "looking at the end of the marriage". Socks, towels, etc. are given as gifts, one for each person. After the parents of both parties have discussed it, the man will invite the woman to the store to "pull the cloth" and send a certain amount of gifts such as meat, cakes, noodles, etc. and money to the woman's parents. This is the "engagement". After the man and woman have known each other for one or two years, they go to the local government to obtain a marriage certificate, set up a banquet on a certain date, distribute wedding candies and cigarettes to relatives and friends, and they are considered married. These trends continued into the late seventies.
In the early 1980s, in the construction of socialist spiritual civilization, customs were changed and new marriages became a common practice. Most urban youth marriages take the form of travel marriages, group marriages, free weddings, etc., which not only eliminates the trouble of making arrangements, but also reduces unnecessary expenses. In recent years, with the development of the economy, wedding scenes in urban and rural areas have become bigger and bigger. When a woman gets married, the man must buy a color TV, a refrigerator, a motorcycle, a VCD, an air conditioner and other large items. The wedding sedan has been abandoned and has been replaced by one in the towns. It is a wedding float, there are often dozens of banquet tables, and the atmosphere is grand and warm. On the one hand, this reflects the improvement of people's living standards. On the other hand, it also shows that weddings have been affected by unhealthy trends such as ostentation, pomp and comparison.