Confucius and his wife in the stills of the movie "Confucius"
In ancient times, divorce between husband and wife was called "divorce", "divorce", "absolute marriage", "excommunication" and "divorce" "And so on. It was not until the Jin Dynasty that the word "divorce" began to appear. In fact, no matter what it is called, as a social phenomenon, divorce is inevitable in any era. The "gossip spirit" of the ancients is no less than that of modern times. Many celebrity divorce cases have always attracted attention.
Confucius III divorced his wife
The most famous person involved in the divorce incident in ancient China was undoubtedly Confucius. However, the rights and wrongs of his divorce and the authenticity are still debated in modern times. This matter It has also become a thousand-year public case that has been debated by Confucians and academic circles.
In the book "Confucius' Family Sayings" which records the thoughts, words and deeds of Confucius and his disciples, it is recorded: "When (Confucius) was nineteen, he married the Qi Guan family of the Song Dynasty, and gave birth to Boyu at the age of one." Confucius was a cultural celebrity in the state of Lu at that time. After hearing about it, Duke Zhao of Lu sent a carp as a congratulation. Confucius then named his son "Li", because he was the eldest son, and also gave him the nickname "Boyu". "Book of Rites·Tan ??Gong Shang" once recorded that "Bo Yu's mother died". When Kong Yingda in the Tang Dynasty annotated this sentence, he said "Shi Bo Yu's mother came out", which means that Kong Li's mother had already died at that time. Divorced by Confucius.
Kong Yingda was the first person to expose Confucius' divorce. The original text of this passage in "Book of Rites·Tan ??Gong" annotated by Kong Yingda is: "When Boyu's mother died, she still cried. Master heard that He said: "Who is crying?" The disciple said: "Hey! What's wrong!" After hearing this, Kong Li's mother was killed. She was divorced by Confucius and returned to her natal family, but within the first anniversary of her death, Kong Li, as his son, could still mourn for her. Once the anniversary passed, he should not cry. Confucius heard that his son was still crying after the mourning, so he blamed Kong Li "Nothing" means it's too much. It can be seen that there is indeed no affection between Confucius and his wife.
As for why Confucius divorced, it is impossible to verify because of the long history. It is said that Confucius thought he was "talkative". However, Lin Yutang opened up his imagination and advocated that we need to think more carefully about whether Confucius's wife was divorced or whether she fled back to her parents' home because she could not stand her husband's harsh demands. He deduced from Confucius that "you will never tire of fine food, and you will never tire of fine meat". Mrs. Confucius could still tolerate her husband's "not eating him if he can't eat it, not eating it if it's cut right, not eating it if it looks bad, and not eating it if it smells bad." But one day, she Unable to buy fresh food, she had no choice but to ask her son Li to go to the store to buy some wine and cooked food. Confucius said, "You can't eat the preserved food in the wine market." In this case, Lin Yutang said, "In addition to packing a whole bag, What else can you do if you abandon your home and run away?"
"Confucius' Family Sayings" says: "Since Shu Liang He gave birth to a wife, and Bo Yu also gave birth to a wife, and to Zisi he gave birth to a wife, so "Confucius gave birth to his wife in three generations." If Confucius also gave birth to his wife, then "the three generations of his wife gave birth to his wife" evolved into "the fourth generation gave birth to his wife." In other words, starting from Confucius's father, Uncle Liang He, to Confucius, his son Kong Li (Boyu), and grandson Kong Ji (Zisi), they all had divorces.
However, many people defend Confucius because there is no record of Confucius's divorce in Sima Qian's "Historical Records: Confucius' Family", and this statement that did not appear until the Tang Dynasty is not very credible. Some scholars believe that the "birth mother" in the above historical materials should be interpreted as "biological mother", and Kong Li's biological mother is not necessarily his father's wife but most likely a concubine, so it cannot be said that Confucius had a divorce. However, there is no record of Confucius taking concubines in historical materials, so this theory is difficult to hold.
Not only did Confucius, the sage, have divorce rumors, but the Confucian "sub-sage" Mencius also had divorce turmoil. According to "Xunzi Jieye Chapter": "Mencius was defeated and married." So what did Mencius' wife do? According to "Han Shi Wai Zhuan", one day, Mencius's wife was alone in the house, sitting on the ground to rest. Just at this time, Mencius suddenly came home. After seeing his wife sitting on the ground, he said to his mother: "This woman has no etiquette. Please allow me to divorce her." It turned out that it was because of his indecent sitting posture that Mencius I'm going to file for divorce. "Sitting" is also called "Jiju", which means squatting on the ground with legs apart like a figure eight. Fortunately, Mencius's mother was a sensible person. She quoted the ancient etiquette "When you are about to go to the hall, your voice must be loud; when you are about to enter the house, your attention must be down." The sound is "You are rude, but it is not a woman who is rude." After Mencius heard this, he blamed himself very much and never dared to mention the divorce from his wife again.
If the pears are not cooked properly and the silk scarf is woven too well, you will get divorced.
Mencius’s reason for divorce was that his sitting posture was inelegant. Is this reasonable? In ancient times, there was a saying about divorce, "Seven out and three out". The so-called "seven out and three out" means that if the wife has seven kinds of bad behavior, the husband can file for divorce, and there are three situations where divorce is not allowed. "Seven outs" are also called "seven outs". According to the provisions of "Rituals", these seven situations are: childless, adulterous (not having a good style), not serving aunts and uncles (not serving parents-in-law), and tongue-tied (spreading trouble) , theft, jealousy, illness (contagious disease or other serious illness). Under these seven circumstances, the husband can file for compulsory divorce.
"Three don'ts" specifically refers to: "Marrying has nothing to return to, don't go", that is, when a woman gets married, she has her natal family to rely on, but when she divorces her, she no longer has relatives in her family to rely on. In this case, she cannot divorce her; "It's been three years of mourning, but I won't go." After a woman enters her husband's house, she and her husband have spent three years of mourning for her parents-in-law. In this case, the wife has fulfilled her role as a daughter-in-law and cannot abandon it; "The wife was poor and humble when she was married, but she became rich and powerful after marrying her. According to the requirements of etiquette, the husband and wife should be one body. Marry her when you are poor and humble, and abandon your wife when you are rich and noble. This is unjust, so you cannot divorce your wife.
Divorce is required because of indecent sitting posture, which can barely be classified as "obscene". This reason is not particularly weird. In fact, there were many weird reasons for divorce in ancient times. Zengzi, a disciple of Confucius, wanted a divorce because his wife did not steam the pears. His wife asked back: "A woman has seven births, so if she doesn't steam them, how can she get pregnant?" Of the seven divorce clauses, which one counts if the pear is not steamed? Zengzi's answer was: It's just not cooked yet, so why ask why? Anyway, if the pears are not cooked enough, they will get divorced. There is no reason. Wu Qi, a student of Zengzi, went even further. Once, he handed his wife a ribbon and asked her to weave another one. Wu Qi's wife worked hard and made a better ribbon than the original one. But because the weaving was not exactly the same as required, Wu Qi still gave it up.
The divorce between Qi Huangong and Cai Ji, one of the Five Hegemons of the Spring and Autumn Period, is more like a child's play. Cai Jigui was the princess of Cai State and was married to Duke Huan of Qi as a gift from her brother Cai Muhou. At that time, Cai Ji was just a teenage girl. Judging from her age, Duke Huan of Qi could be her father. At first, Duke Huan of Qi was very fond of this lively and cute little loli, but once, she and Duke Huan of Qi went rowing, and she started playing with the water. Not only did she splash water on Duke Huan of Qi, but she also The uncle was frightened when the boat was rocked, and he shouted: "Stop rocking, stop rocking." Maybe she thought it was funny that Duke Huan of Qi was frightened, so Cai Ji continued to rock. As a result, Duke Huan of Qi was furious and sent Cai Ji away the next day and sent her back to the state of Cai.
After Cai Ji was sent back to Cai State, Cai Muhou was very angry, and then married Cai Ji to King Chu Cheng of Chu State. King Chu Cheng loved Cai Ji very much and made her his wife. Duke Huan of Qi probably just wanted to teach Cai Ji a lesson and didn't really want a divorce. When he heard that Cai Ji had married someone else, he was very angry and decided to attack Cai and Chu. Cai was a small country and was vulnerable, but Chu was powerful. Not weak. When Qi's army came to the city, Chu asked why you beat me. Duke Huan of Qi was too embarrassed to tell the real reason, so he sent Guan Zhong to have a scolding battle with Qu Wan, who was sent by Chu. Finally, because Qi Guoli Quci was poor, he felt that "the teacher had no name", so he returned to the court with his teacher.
When Bai Juyi was an official, he once adjudicated a bizarre divorce case. According to the "Bai Juyi Collection", a wife was delivering food to her husband who was farming in the fields. When she met her hungry father on the way, she gave the food to him. The husband waited in the field until he was hungry, and became very angry and insisted on divorcing his wife. The wife refused to accept it, so she filed a complaint with the government. Bai Juyi said in his judgment: "According to women's moral standards, a wife should be obedient to her husband, but it is natural to repay her father's kindness. Therefore, the food should be given to the father first, followed by the husband. Since filial piety is more important than serving the husband, so The husband cannot divorce his wife."
The "misfortunate mandarin ducks" who were forced to demolish their wives.
Although the above reasons are strange, it is still up to you to make the decision. But marriage is sometimes not just a matter between two people. For example, in ancient times, marriage was mostly "the order of the parents and the words of the matchmaker." If the parents did not like the daughter-in-law, the couple might also be forced to divorce. We are familiar with Liu Lanzhi and Jiao Zhongqing in "The Peacock Flies Southeast". Although Liu Lanzhi and Jiao Zhongqing were deeply in love, Liu himself "crowd into the machine and could not rest every night", but he was forced to divorce because he could not get the love of his mother-in-law. .
Among historical celebrities, Lu You and his wife are a pair of "misfortunate mandarin ducks" who were separated by their parents. Lu You's first wife was his cousin Tang Wan. Tang Wan had read poetry and books since childhood, was smart and beautiful, and married Lu You's childhood sweetheart. But Lu's mother didn't like this daughter-in-law, so she forced Lu You to write a divorce letter and follow her mother's order to marry another Wang. Tang Wan also made the decision by his family and married Zhao Shicheng, a descendant of the royal family. A few years later, Lu and Tang met in Shen Garden in Shanyin (now Shaoxing, Zhejiang). They were very sad. The sad Lu You wrote the famous "Hairhead Phoenix" on the wall:
Hongsu Hands, yellow silk wine, the city is full of spring scenery and willows on the palace walls. The east wind is evil and happiness is thin. With a heavy heart, I have been away from home for a few years. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Spring is as old as before, people are thin and empty, and the tears are red and raw. The peach blossoms have fallen, and the pavilion is idle. Although the mountain alliance is there, it is difficult to hold the brocade book. Mo, mo, mo!
Tang Wan later also composed a song "The Hairpin-headed Phoenix":
The world is weak and evil, and flowers tend to fall when the rain comes at dusk. The morning wind has dried, and the traces of tears remain. I want to write down my thoughts, but I have a column with oblique words. Difficult, difficult, difficult.
People are different, today is not yesterday, and the sick soul is like a rope on a swing. The sound of the horn is cold, the night is dark, I am afraid that people will ask me, so I choke on my tears and pretend to be happy. Hide, hide, hide.
Soon, Tang Wan died of depression and resentment. In his later years, Lu You would go to Shen Garden every spring to pay homage to Tang Wan. Every time he went there, he would express his feelings in poems or words.
Wang Xianzhi is the youngest son of Wang Xizhi, a famous calligrapher in the Eastern Jin Dynasty. His calligraphy "combines the strengths of all calligraphers and combines the beauty of all styles". Later generations will call him and his father the "two kings" of calligraphy. However, his divorce was A tragedy. Wang Xianzhi's first wife was his cousin Xi Daomao. The two were childhood sweethearts, and gradually fell in love with each other. Their parents also pushed for the marriage.
But later, Princess Xin'an Sima Daofu, the sister of Emperor Xiaowu of Jin Dynasty, also fell in love with the versatile and charming Wang Xianzhi, so she begged her brother Emperor Xiaowu to make the decision for her and betrothed to Wang Xianzhi. The emperor went to Wang Xianzhi to discuss the matter. There are historical records that Wang Xianzhi said that "moxibustion was enough to disobey the imperial edict", that is, he used self-mutilation to resist. However, he could not disobey the emperor's order. In the end, he wrote a divorce letter and kicked out his wife. Wang Xianzhi, who married Princess Xin'an, naturally prospered in his official career, and later became Zhongshu Ling. However, behind the surface scenery can't hide his debt to his ex-wife. When he was seriously ill in his later years, a Taoist priest came to his home to perform rituals for him. The Taoist priest asked him what he had done wrong. Wang Xianzhi said, "I don't know what happened, but I remember divorcing the Xi family."
The weakness of Jiao Zhongqing, Lu You, etc. Different, some women in history are more worthy of admiration. Wang Mang's daughter was the empress of Emperor Ping of Han. When the 14-year-old Emperor Ping of Han was poisoned to death by Wang Mang, not long after Wang Mang usurped the throne and established a new dynasty, the empress of Emperor Ping of Han became the empress dowager of Ding'an. At that time, the "Queen Mother" was less than 20 years old. Wang Mang wanted his daughter to sever ties with the Han Dynasty royal family, "so she changed her name to the Lord of the Huang Royal Family" and found a new son-in-law for her. However, Wang Mang's daughter refused, so Wang Mang had to give up. Similarly, Yang Lihua, the eldest daughter of Emperor Wen of the Sui Dynasty, was the empress of Emperor Tianyuan of the Northern Zhou Dynasty. After Emperor Wen of the Sui Dynasty captured the kingdom of the Northern Zhou Dynasty, she was renamed Princess Leping. Emperor Wen of the Sui Dynasty "wanted to seize her ambition" and asked her to remarry, but "the princess swore not to allow it." My father didn't interfere any more.
Women are not always a vulnerable group
In ancient divorce, there were also cases where the woman took the initiative to divorce. "Hanshu Zhu Maichen Biography" records that Zhu Maichen liked reading since he was a child, but after many years of marriage, his family was still very poor, and he and his wife lived by chopping firewood. Unable to bear it, his wife filed for divorce, and he had no choice but to agree. Soon, she married someone else. Hou Zhu Maichen finally became prosperous. When he returned to his hometown in fine clothes, he saw that his ex-wife and her husband were among the people clearing the way for him to take office as the regional governor in his hometown, so he ordered them to get in the car and go with him to his official residence. Arrange them to live in his official residence. Soon, the ex-wife was so ashamed that she hanged herself.
Although women take the initiative in this story, they still feel like victims. In fact, women in the Han Dynasty were far less discriminated against after divorce than we imagined. For example, the wife of Chen Ping, the founding minister of the early Han Dynasty, was married five times before marrying Chen Ping, but Chen Ping didn't seem to care about this. The mother of Wei Zifu, the empress of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, Wei Yu, also had many marriage experiences. Others, such as Princess Pingyang, the sister of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, first married Cao Cao, the Marquis of Pingyang, and then married General Wei Qing after Cao's death; Princess Jingwu, the daughter of Emperor Xuan of the Han Dynasty, first married Marquis Zhang Lin of Fuping, then Zhao Qin, Marquis of Linping, and then married Xue Xuan, Marquis of Gaoyang. etc. Among these divorced and remarried people, the most outstanding one is a woman named Wang Dan.
The reason why Wang Quan is awesome is first of all because she has a strong mother. Her mother Zang'er was the granddaughter of Zang Tu, King of Yan in the late Qin Dynasty. Although she was an official for the third generation, she had already declined at that time. When her daughter reached the age of hairpin, she married her to a commoner named Jin Wangsun, and she was still alive soon. Had a daughter. The young couple originally lived a pretty good life, but one day Zang'er met a fortune teller on the road. The fortune teller said that your daughter will be extremely valuable in the future. After hearing this, Zang'er was elated and forced her daughter to divorce Jin Wangsun and put her under house arrest. At this time, the prince Liu Qi happened to be recruiting people in the palace, so Zang Er bribed his connections and sent his daughter there. Wang Quan, who was already a wife and mother, actually gained Liu Qi's favor in the palace. Not long after, Liu Qi was established as the prince and succeeded to the throne, that is, Emperor Jing of Han Dynasty. Wang Quan was also very successful and gave birth to Liu Qi's four children, three girls and one boy. In this way, a divorced commoner woman actually remarried an emperor, which is "inspirational" enough, but that's not to mention that one of Wang Quan's children became an emperor - the later famous Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty.
Li Qingzhao, a famous poet in the Song Dynasty, also took the initiative to file for divorce. After Zhao Mingcheng's death, Li Qingzhao remarried Zhang Ruzhou. After getting married, Li Qingzhao discovered that Zhang Ruzhou was just trying to defraud him of his money. Zhang Ruzhou also found that the treasures Li Qingzhao kept in his hands were not as rich as he had imagined, and he regretted it. The relationship between the two became increasingly cold, and Zhang Ruzhou often engaged in domestic violence. When Li Qingzhao discovered that Zhang Ruzhou's official position was obtained through bribery, he reported him and filed for divorce. According to the laws of the Song Dynasty, if a wife accuses her husband, even if it is true, she should be imprisoned for two years. But Li Qingzhao would rather go to jail and insist on going to the court to report. As a result, Zhang Ruzhou and Li Qingzhao's divorce was successful, and Zhang Ruzhou was also dismissed. Li Qingzhao was also imprisoned, but with the care of local officials, Li Qingzhao was released without charge after only nine days in jail.