It is the first time for men to get married and for women to get married. Marriage between a man and a woman is a major event in life. In the past, the Shijiazhuang area was affected by the "men and women are not intimate with each other". Young men and women were not able to fall in love freely. For marriage matters, they could only follow the orders of their parents and rely on the words of matchmakers. Wedding rituals are complicated and tinged with feudal superstition. The general marriage procedures and etiquette are as follows:
1. Proposal
That is, the man’s family entrusts a matchmaker to go to the woman’s home to propose marriage. If the woman agrees to propose marriage, the man’s family will then go to the woman’s home to propose marriage. Commonly known as "matchmaking". In the old days, "door to door, door to door, door to door, open door to fence" were popular. Generally speaking, when a man asks a matchmaker to propose marriage, he must first comprehensively consider his identity, land, property and the situation of his children to see if it matches the situation of the girl's family, which means that the conditions of both parties are similar. But there are also matchmakers who accept lavish gifts and engage in deceit. If the girl's parents are interested, they can ask someone to inquire about the boy's situation. If they think they are from equal families, the male and female families will each apply for Geng Tie. The Geng Tie is made of red paper, with the names, years of age, three generations, and place of birth of the married children written on it. It is commonly known as the "Four Geng Tie" and will be exchanged by both parties in the future.
2. Asking for the name
Commonly known as asking for the eight characters. The "eight characters" are based on the year, month, day, and time of each person's birth, and each match the two characters of the heavenly stems and earthly branches. There are eight characters in the four elements, so it is called the "eight characters". Superstitious people believe that a person's destiny can be calculated based on the birth date. Everyone belongs to a certain "fate" among the five elements, such as metal life, wood life, water life, fire life, earth life, etc. All the five elements Those who are in conflict with each other cannot get married.
The matchmaker first takes the male sticker to the woman’s home, writes the woman’s birthday and birth date, along with the bride price, on the back of the male sticker. The matchmaker brings it to the man. The man asks the gentleman to “match the zodiac sign” to predict good and bad luck, such as male and female. There is no "auspicious" character in the year of Geng, and if the parents of both parties agree, the engagement can be made. Of course, there are other sayings, such as "a freshman girl can't do anything", "a wife who is a sophomore has a couple", "a wife who is a freshman holds gold bricks", etc.
3. Change of posts
After the marriage between the man and the woman is agreed upon, a post exchange must be held, and an auspicious date should be selected for the change of posts. The man and woman send a matchmaker to discuss the appointment with the woman in advance. The man puts the agreed betrothal price and the groom's wedding sticker into a small box, and wraps the small box with red cloth or red silk. Together with the betrothal gifts (including coins, clothing, and food), the matchmaker delivers them to the woman's home. After the bride's family receives the bride price, betrothal gifts and the man's gengzi, the woman puts the gengzi into the original box, along with the returned clothes, dowry, fruits, etc., and then transfers it to the groom's family through the matchmaker. This procedure is called exchange of gats.
4. Excessive gift
This is the etiquette for the man and woman to send the betrothal gift to the woman’s family after the man and woman enter into a marriage contract. An engagement is only officially effective after a bride price has been given. In the old days, the boy's family usually gave the girl's family 100-200 yuan in cash, clothing materials, bracelets, rings and other gifts. Before the wedding, you have to "carry the food basket" (a shelf made of three-layer rectangular wooden boards). At least three food baskets are piled with rice, noodles, steamed buns, pork, etc., and they are carried to the bride's house by several people. .
5. Wedding preparations
Before getting married, you should choose a wedding day, choose an even day, such as the fourth day of April, the twenty-eighth day of August, etc., or auspicious days. After the election, the groom's family prepares gifts and clothing materials. The date of the wedding is written on the red card and the matchmaker should forward it to the bride's family to inform relatives and friends of the wedding date. And began to clean up the courtyard, paint and decorate the new house. Wedding paintings are hung in the new house, such as Qilin giving birth to a son, five sons passing the exam, etc. Window decorations often include magpies climbing plum blossoms, mandarin ducks playing in the water, swallows flying in pairs, lotus seeds with double stalks, etc. Happy couplets and the word "happiness" in red are posted all over the house. Happy couplets often use the words "Happiness for a hundred years", "Longevity together", "Flowers blooming together", "Tie with the same heart", "Easy room and IKEA", etc. After receiving the red card from the man, the woman's family begins to buy dowry, invites the family members, and invites men and women to return guests. The elders of the family invite their daughters to eat "Li Niang Noodles".
6. Marriage
On the day of the wedding, both parties have the taboo of "the aunt will not pick her up, and the aunt will not send her off", and both parties must not entrust widows, second marriages, or zodiac signs that conflict with the bride and groom. who. This is a big day for the groom's family. The front and back of the house, inside and outside the courtyard, are splashed with clean water and kept spotless. A red light is hung in front of the door, and in the courtyard and under the eaves are hung banners, clothing and quilts sent by relatives and friends, creating a warm and joyful scene everywhere. During the wedding ceremony, firecrackers were set off, red lanterns and umbrella poles were played, and gongs and drums were noisy. If possible, an honor guard and suona accompaniment may be invited. When arriving at the door of the girl's house, the girl's family deliberately "shuts out" the man in advance, and waits until the man slips the "door-passing gift" through the crack of the door before opening the door to greet him. Then we were led to the guest room for tea and "Xia Ma Noodles".
Before getting into the sedan chair, the bride opens her face (also called facial opening), that is, she uses a thread to twist off the hair on her face. After dressing up, say goodbye to relatives, then cover your head and face with a red scarf, sew dates, peanuts, and copper coins on the four corners of the red scarf (that is, it is good luck to have a baby early), and hang a mirror on the chest to "avoid" the evil light. In the wedding song, the elder brother carries the sedan chair, and a younger brother or son follows behind the sedan chair, which is called "carrying the sedan chair". When setting off from the bride's house, the groom rides in front, followed by the male guests and the male bride's guests. Two male relatives, the woman's elders or equals, follow the groom's sedan chair, holding the sedan poles, to escort the dowry, commonly known as "seeing off guests". The female escorting guests rides horses or rides behind the sedan to accompany them.
In the past, there was a custom in some places in Shijiazhuang that girls would cry a few times before getting on the sedan chair to express that they were inseparable.
Legend has it that a long time ago, there was a mother-in-law who lived a hard life relying on each other. The mother weaved and the daughter spun threads. As my mother watched her daughter grow up day by day, she felt even more anxious. She had to find an in-law for her daughter. So the mother entrusted a matchmaker to find a husband for her daughter and set an auspicious date for the wedding. Seeing that the happy day is getting closer day by day, the mother-in-law's sorrow is getting deeper and deeper day by day. When the groom's sedan chair came to the door, the daughter looked at her mother's white hair and thin face, and thought about how her mother would live once she left. Wouldn't she starve to death? Thinking of this, I hugged my mother's head and cried loudly. This cry moved a passing god. Seeing the couple crying so pitifully, he was moved by kindness. He pointed at the tears on the girl's face. The tears turned into shining golden beans. The girl saw so many The golden beans were enough for my mother to eat for the rest of her life, so she happily dressed up and got into the sedan chair. From then on, whenever a girl got on the sedan chair, she would always be reluctant to get on the sedan chair. If she couldn't hold on any longer, she would hug her mother and cry a few times. Even if there were no tears, she would squeeze out a few teardrops so that Jindouzi could Feed your mother. As time went by, the custom of "crying loudly when a girl leaves her mother" was formed, which has been passed down to this day.
When the bride returns home, she must go around the village and is not allowed to take the original route, which is called no turning back. The sound of firecrackers and the continuous playing of suona made it very lively. When the sedan arrives at the groom's house and stops at the door, the groom dismounts and bows to the sedan three times, which is called worshiping the sedan god. The bride is helped out of the sedan by the bridesmaids. After the bride enters the house with her fortune, she first steps over the brazier. It symbolizes the "hot and exciting" life after marriage. Then they stepped onto the red carpet and entered the central hall to worship and get married. At this time, a highly respected person invited in advance will serve as the best man (master of ceremonies) and preside over the wedding ceremony.
This is the first time the bridesmaid comes out and sings: "Bestman, bridesmaid, two steps and one foot, dragon, phoenix and mandarin duck, a harmonious pair." Then he recited a happy song, the lyrics are all auspicious words, such as "The wind and the wind are harmonious." "The flowers are singing", "The flowers are full and the moon is full", "The new house is flashing with red flowers blooming, and the family has a gold bucket to offer dragon tablets", "Colorful silk is hung on the door of the prime minister's house, and the rich lady is worthy of the prince" and so on. Then they sing in sequence: the bride and groom first bow to heaven and earth; second bow to Gaotang (parents); third bow to ancestors; fourth bow to Cai Lang; fifth bow to land; sixth bow to Chunxuan; seventh bow to relatives and friends; and husband and wife to each other. After the bride and groom performed eight prayers, they exchanged cups and cups. Just listen to the best man singing again: "We exchange cups and cups, and we make peace, and the husband and wife will grow old together. Look at the groom--the gold flower on his head is auspicious, and he is wearing a mandarin duck embroidered with landscapes. His black boots are white-soled and lined with red flowers, and he is full of refreshment. Look at the bride - she has a colorful phoenix crown, a purple ribbon and a phoenix flying in the east. She has willow eyebrows, apricot eyes and a red silk veil. The flowers and candles are bright in front of the couple's hall, and a pair of mandarin ducks are paired up. Then the band plays the auspicious song of dragon and phoenix. In the music, the best man sang an auspicious song: "The green mountains and green waters will always complement each other, the laughter in the room will be heartfelt; the flower bed will be decorated with mandarin ducks, and the auspicious stars will shine in all seasons." "After the groomsmen finished singing, everyone was laughing so hard, which made people feel that the marriage custom was full of fun and friendly.
At this time, the groom's family passed the sacks to each other one after another on the ground. The bride walks over and carries on the family line, leading the bride into the bridal chamber. Before entering the bridal chamber, the groom takes a bow and shoots three arrows into the bridal chamber through the bride's head, intending to drive away evil spirits. At this time, the bridegroom sings happy songs such as "Raise your head when you enter the bridal chamber, the unicorn will send you a son to follow", "A handful of millet seeds and a handful of dates, the girl and the boy will run all over the floor".
Before entering the bridal chamber, a woman with both parents and a living husband must be invited to place bedding for the bride and groom in the new house, and a handful of grains of five colors should be placed under the bedside for good luck. Putting a few red dates (jujubes) under the pillow means "birth" for boys and girls. When the bride enters the bridal chamber, the groom takes off the bride's "hijab" and the neighbors start. "Having a wedding ceremony" has been a custom for a long time. Every family believes that the more people who come to their home to have a wedding ceremony, the better. The more people there, the more honorable and honorable they will be. As the saying goes: "A bride has no size for three days." On this day, both men and women, old and young, can enter the room to "see the new bride" and tease the bride, whether meat or fish, with the intention of trying to turn the shy young lady into a generous and shrewish daughter-in-law. There are also people who lurk at the windows of the bridal chamber to eavesdrop on the bride and groom's private conversations, which is commonly known as "listening to the wedding". If they don't want to go in the rain or snow, the mother will gently lean a broom under the window to complete the "listening to the wedding" ceremony. /p>
On this day, when the man’s family returns from a wedding, in addition to entertaining relatives and friends of the same family, they must also enthusiastically entertain guests from the woman’s family and display the dowry. That is, the elder representatives of the woman’s family will sing and display the gifts given by relatives and friends one by one. , handed over to the groom to represent acceptance, commonly known as "setting the table". At this time, the groom's mother, aunt, or sister-in-law will bring shame on their faces to make them laugh.
7. Etiquette and Customs after the Wedding
p>The next day, the bride meets her relatives and pays homage to her ancestors and visits her grave. The bride’s family leads her relatives to the groom’s house to recognize her relatives and pick up the new couple. This is called “hui-zhuang”, commonly known as “hui-mian”. The groom treats him with a good meal. The nurturing eldest brother-in-law and sister-in-law often make dumplings filled with chili peppers to make fun of the groom.
On the third day, the newlyweds take gifts in a sedan chair. (or take a car) to the bride's parents' house, commonly known as "three dynasties return home". The groom's family will send steamed buns to the bride's family, called "carrying a basket", and pick up the groom. Two days later, the bride's parents will send their daughter to the groom's house. It is called "two visits and three stays". After six days, the girl is taken back and sent to the husband's house after the full moon. At this point, the marriage ceremony is completed.
During the Spring Festival of the first year of marriage, the bride and groom have to pay New Year greetings to their parents. The time is usually on the second or third day of the first lunar month. There is a folk song that goes: "On the first day of the Lunar New Year, after the second to third day of the Lunar New Year, the young couple dress up smartly, bring New Year's goods and cakes, and drive the donkey to happily go to greet the New Year." When you go, you can't go empty-handed, you must Bring some annual loans and local products, as the folk song goes: "Drink wine, smoke cigarettes, and bring a big basket of rice cakes." This also means that a married daughter will not forget the nurturing grace of her parents.