Marriage customs across China: One very important thing in life is to get married. Wedding customs are slightly different in different regions of my country. Today I will tell you a few things about weddings across the country. custom.
Marriage customs across China
Parents work with matchmakers to negotiate
Tianjin has two types of marriages for men and women, unlike other parts of the country. Therefore, men and women need to get married at the age of seventeen or eighteen. At that time, boys and girls were all ordered by their parents. Parents were the masters of the family, and parents took care of the matter. People had freedom of love, not freedom of marriage. When their children grow up, parents often take the marriage of their children into their minds. As the saying goes, "give your children a wife" and "find a mother-in-law for your daughter." Most of these things are done by the mother. . Male parents hope to find a filial wife for their only son, while female parents hope to find a good mother-in-law for their daughter. Their emotions are the same.
In the old days, when boys reached the age of fifteen or sixteen, they had already received a special education. Children from wealthy families had already entered junior high school, and children from ordinary families also entered the business world to study business or knowledge. The apprentices arrive.
They dress like adults. Since they are all controlled by feudal morality, most of them follow the rules and look dignified. In the old days, if a child had to be well-educated or had no rules, it would lead to a bad public opinion among neighbors, near and distant relatives and friends. Not only would it be difficult for him to find a job, but he would also have trouble finding a wife. Although some parents have camps and roads, it is not difficult for their children to go out to do things, but their children have always been in the streets and alleys, so their wives may have to rely on their neighbors. Just talking about "talking about a daughter-in-law", parents have to work hard to propose relatives and friends to find a matchmaker. They want to find a matchmaker who is not from the right family, but has the same talent and appearance, so that they can get what they want. But no matter how you say it, you can't see the girl's true face with a clear head. Parents in every family want to marry a daughter-in-law for their children who is filial to their parents-in-law, understands the three obediences and four virtues, and has a virtuous appearance. However, such wishes are passive and in vain. If you marry an ugly, ignorant or arrogant and unruly daughter-in-law, not only will you not be able to form a happy family, but there will also be discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and disharmony between husband and wife, which will inevitably lead to lifelong regrets. Therefore, talking about my daughter-in-law at the beginning was like inviting a "god". The same goes for female parents choosing husbands for their daughters. This is due to the disadvantages of the old days where the style of work did not change and parents took over everything. This problem is the same for rich and poor, it all depends on luck.
In the old days, marriage life was not independent, so matchmakers were created. Both the boy's and the girl's parents want to use matchmaking to arrange their children's marriage. Matchmakers often visit thousands of families, including wealthy farmers. They are considered to be one of the "three aunts and six women", the spargans of the olden times. The wives of each courtyard can't live without them, because they often come in and out of each household. What is the appearance of the daughter and children of which household, and the identity and wealth of each household. , they walked towards each other, and tried their best to negotiate this marriage. Every time they create a marriage, they can receive many thanksgiving gifts. If the marriage is not in the right family, the parents are harmonious, the couple is warm, and they have children in succession, this matchmaker will even want to "blackmail" you. During the New Year or festivals, birthdays, birthdays, and birthdays, she will also come to congratulate her. Everyone, old or young, has to give her money. She called mom. If you meet an unreliable matchmaker who only wants to make money, but she keeps it a secret from both sides. After the marriage, the family is at odds, and the parents-in-law look down upon her. The daughter-in-law is also powerful and fights and bickers all day long, causing panic in the whole family. At this time, the matchmaker I will fly far away and never visit your door again. Therefore, matchmakers who make a living as matchmakers are not reliable after all. In families that pay attention to it, in order to carefully consider the marriage of their children, they often discuss it with the "big guest", who is also the introducer. It is more dignified that relatives, friends, and friends serve as the "guests" as matchmakers and introduce the marriage. The introducer "Da Bin" has a romantic relationship with both the boy and the girl. He is willing to go out to negotiate in order to better marry the Qin and Jin families. He has no sense of profit-seeking, so there is no concealment, or some boys and girls. The girl's parents are also relatives and friends, and they got along immediately with the guest.
The marriage is finalized and the parents exchange posts
When the marriage is basically completed and both parties have no suggestions, you still need to find an old gentleman who has "approved the horoscope" to discuss the marriage and see what is available. Avoid committing crimes. The matchmaker or distinguished guest will post the date, month, day, and time of the woman's birth and give it to the man. When the marriage is about to take place, the man will go to the astrologer's house to get married. The old man who approved the horoscopes wrote two copies according to the birth dates of the boy and the girl. He wrote a large set of "gold generates water" and "fire generates earth". Usually everything has to go through such procedures. There is Jiang Shaobo in Tianhou Palace, "Mr. Meng" in Hemingtang outside the east gate, and Jiang Yuzhou in the west of the south gate. These are the most famous married men in Tianjin in the early days of liberation. Whether this couple will succeed in their marriage depends entirely on them. One batch. In addition, poor households have to find an old fortune teller to tell their fortunes. After such marriage or fortune-telling procedures, as long as the two people have no so-called "conflict" or "offense" in their "fate", the marriage will happen. With a clear awareness of the overall situation, the next step is to "change posts."
Exchanging posts means that the parents of both parties exchange posts and become in-laws. From then on, the children are considered engaged. The post exchanged this time is a large gold bull post printed with the pattern of "Dragon and Phoenix" printed on red paper. It is about seven inches wide and one foot two inches long. It is retractable and has an envelope on the outside. It is a specialty of the paper shop. The name of the shop is "Longhuang Tie". The word "Full Blessing" is written on the cover, and the names of the parents are written at the bottom of the lining. There is also a "golden stamp" in the post, with the date of exchange of posts written on it, which means that the engagement was made in a certain year, month, and day, and the posts were exchanged, and they felt like relatives and friends. During the ceremony of choosing an auspicious day, one or two banquet tables should be prepared, and then the distinguished guests should be rewarded first. As the two families exchange posts, the man will give out an engagement gift. The amount of the engagement gift is determined based on economic conditions. Some of the items that pay attention to are designated by the "Four Golds", including a pair of gold bracelets, a pair of gold rings, a pair of blond hairpins, and a pair of gold earrings. Women return gifts with boots, hats, four treasures of the study and other four colors. Each other asked people to hold the "Dragon Wind Tie" and gifts in four pairs of "boxes", with eight people holding one "box" each. The person carrying the "Tiao Box" all wears a blue gown rented from the rental shop, a red tassel hat, a green gauze tied around the waist, shoes, white socks, and a cross tied on the chest and back with red silk. Dressed in red. They held a box in one hand and a bunch of large golden cows in the other. Such a small team, we can tell from a distance that they are swapping posts, and we often see them on the streets of Tianjin now.
The person who writes the "Dragon and Phoenix Tie" must have work experience, which is the "full" of the word "Quanfu" written on the post. You must write " Entering the King ", but not " Renwang". This is a habit and taboo that has been passed down for many years in the text. In the old days, the dragon-phoenix tie was regarded as a certificate for a boy and a girl to get engaged and become lovers. However, it did not have the names of the betrothed boy and girl on it, only the names of each other's parents. If there is a dispute later, and it reaches the level of divorce, the "Dragon and Phoenix Tie" must be returned in court. Its legal effect is indeed very great. Although it makes no sense, it was customary at that time. . This also shows that the monogamy system in the old days was completely based on the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker. The boys and girls who were engaged were completely at the mercy of others and had independent rights.
Marriage preparations should be made separately
It is an old custom in Tianjin that a boy and a girl can be regarded as getting married from the time when they first discuss marriage to the time when they exchange dragon and phoenix posts. At this time, the boy People who become women, and women who become men, no one can have any regrets and wait for the wedding at the appropriate age. When preparing for marriage, male parents need to inform female parents in advance and ask for instructions on which month is suitable for the female. Because in the old days, women had to marry according to the "marriage month", which is also a feudal superstitious custom. That is, the month of marriage must be chosen according to the woman's zodiac sign. After the month in which she can marry is determined, she still needs to ask the woman to "get married". "Geng Tie" is to ask women to propose two days for men to choose. As we call it today, it is to separate a woman's "menstrual day".
After the date of the wedding is determined, both parents need to prepare furniture and other items in advance. In the old days, there were all old-style rural bungalows. When a man married a wife, most of them lived with their mother-in-law in a connected room, with one light and two dark, and the wife lived in the lower room. Some rich people give their children a house, but this is very rare. Pay attention to others and buy new wooden furniture according to the size of the room. For example, the items for the kang include new reed mats, wool felt strips, cotton quilts for the kang, red cloth sheets, and four embroidered silk quilts. Two quilts, one pair of embroidered pillows for two. Hang curtains and curtain fabrics on windows and doors. There is no need to prepare the furnishings on the dining table, otherwise the dowry sent by the woman on the day of the banquet will not be displayed. Making quilts and assembling pillow cores requires "whole people" to do the work. The so-called "whole person" refers to a woman who has a husband, a son and a daughter. You have to invite four or two more people, no odd number. This is the general preparation for the marriage of children by ordinary merchants in Tianjin. For the military-defeating bureaucratic capitalists, former Qing Dynasty veterans and some wealthy people who settled in the concessions, it was very easy for them to get money, and they were even more free to enjoy it. When it comes to these poor families, when it comes to setting up a family for their children, they can only decorate and buy some necessary clothes, and they can't get a wife.
Women also spend endless hours preparing dowry items. As the saying goes: "A daughter who can't be with her will have an endless year." Some old wealthy merchants will accompany you with a full dowry, and some will accompany you with twenty-four dowries, at least eighteen or twelve dowries. There are all kinds of daily necessities and accessories for use, and even charcoal for heating (formerly charcoal braziers for heating in winter) are available. The very poor still need a bucket and an oil lamp. In addition to a few clothes, there is also a blouse, which means that women should put on the blouse and walk around the stove.
Especially the bureaucratic capitalists, comprador families and wealthy people, when preparing dowry for their daughters, in order to show off their lavishness and pomp, they have to disturb many industrial and commercial bureau staff. For example, go to a jewelry store to order gold jewelry, diamonds and jade jewelry, go to a satin shop to choose cotton sateen and various fine fur products, and ask a well-known tailor to come to their home to set up a case and have it cut and made. Wedding clothes. A variety of clothes made of single-leather cotton yarn are made according to the four seasons. Among them, there are upper body and trousers that are not complete sets. The upper body is called a coat or jacket, and the trousers are called "zhongyi". There are countless shoes for all seasons.
You also need to find a carpenter to make a set of camphor wood boxes, four small boxes with small box seats, two worship boxes, a hair combing table, and a set of basin racks. In addition, according to the specifications of the wall of the new house that the man is planning to build, a fitting mirror, glass Spring Festival couplets, four hanging screens across the head and eaves, Spring couplets, looking up mirror, etc. should be customized, and celebrity calligraphy and paintings should be installed inside. For display and daily use containers, there is a clock, a natural marble "insert card", a hall of Jiangxi pastel porcelain, a bottle, a pair of bottles, a pair of hat tubes, a pair of tea jars, and a sugar jar. Yes, a pair of soap boxes, a pair of mouthwash bowls, a tea set with a tea stand, four tureens, a set of tea utensils with handles, a pair of spit buckets, a pair of cigarette grease boxes, a pair of powder boxes, etc. Tin utensils include a tin lamp, a pair of tin wax skewers, and a pair of tin pots. The bronze vessels include a copper basin, a large-rimned copper basin for soaking feet (prepared for future childbirth), and a copper kettle. In addition, there are also sets of silver containers, Fujian lacquer containers, and cloisonné containers. The pond porcelain containers only have a washbasin and a spit bucket. As for Tang Porcelain's mouthwash and cleaning bowl, I feel that I don't pay much attention to it, and there is no dowry one. The clocks include the "Four Hundred Days" clock and the eight-tone clock, all of which are imported goods. The wealthier old man also has "jade heads", that is, a jade Ruyi handle, a pair of jade bowls, and a pair of jade cards, some of which are Hetian jasper and some of which are white jade. Eyes filled with matt light, graceful and luxurious. There are also dowry charcoal braziers, which are made of copper and have a copper cover with a transparent stem and carved patterns. It comes with a load of charcoal, all of which are carefully sifted out to the same length and wrapped with red velvet thread. Everything is available and considerate.
Therefore, some wealthy gentry and merchants also engaged in intrigues over women's dowries. He felt that if the female escorts were to send so many items to them, they would need to be more knowledgeable and knowledgeable to overwhelm everyone. The items brought by the bride are brought into the living room first. Because the furnishings in the bride's room have already been piled up by men, this shows her wealth and power.
The wedding day is celebrated for three days in a row
The day when the wedding of men and women is announced is divided into three days: the first day is commonly said to be "makeup reminder", and the second day is "wedding ceremony". "Marry", the third day is "dividing size", which lasts for three days of prosperity.
Send dowry gifts and dowry on the first day:
The day before the wedding is the day to announce congratulations. On this day, men build wedding tents in the courtyard, and they also pay great attention to the tents. There are mat tents and some with straw boards. The special wedding shed has a pattern of "Fu Lu San Duo" painted on the ceiling, surrounded by glass windows, big red palace lanterns hung on the eaves, hanging lanterns hanging on the arch, and water chestnut plaques lanterns placed along the periphery of the shed, indicating that A solemn and glorious atmosphere. This type of shed is very elegant and spacious, and the rental price is only one to two hundred yuan. A sedan chair is placed on the arch, also known as "liang sedan chair". A pair of "official lanterns" are placed in front of the sedan, with full width and two sunshades. On both sides of the sedan, two new color scores were placed in rows. As soon as you enter the gate, there are arch photos, full-frame deacons and string lights along the arrow path. A sample drum was placed across the courtyard. The large living room and courtyard are filled with wedding banners and wedding couplets, just like a party, a grand occasion. In the main room of the lower house, a wedding hall is decorated, with five-foot stone rows and six-foot red spring couplets hanging in front of it. There is an offering table in front of the case, with the design of the Five Sacrificial Sacrifice displayed, and the guiding lights, candles, and tobacco lingering around. There is also a crossbow and crossbow tied with red silk on the altar table (it is said that Zhou Gongdan used this kind of item to "ward off evil spirits" when he fought against the Peach Blossom Girl). The crossbow is filled with sorghum rice, and a scale beam and a crossbow are placed on it. Ordering arrows and other objects indicate "going as one wishes".
Sedan - In addition to all kinds of ceremonials when getting married in the old days, the most important thing is the sedan the bride rides on. Since a woman only rides in a sedan once in her life, she attaches great importance to the new and old issues of the sedan when she gets married. Which family's daughter rides in which sedan chair is new, and which family's daughter rides in which sedan chair is old, have become common topics of discussion among relatives and friends. The sedans are divided into "first sedan" and "second sedan". The former is a first-class new sedan, and the latter is a second-rent sedan. To put it bluntly, the key to the first sedan and the second sedan is the fence around the sedan. When the wealthy old and wealthy families in Tianjin order sedans for their children and grandchildren to get married, they pay more attention to custom-embroidering new sedan chairs. It is necessary to discuss with the manager of the sedan shop in advance, and embroider the two new sedan skirts including the core of the sedan in advance, and send them to the victim's house intact for storage, to prevent the sedan shop from causing trouble until the wedding. , that is, on the day of "bringing out the sedan", the tailor was called from the sedan shop, and the "eyes of the tiger" appeared in front of the victim's house. The so-called "tiger eye" is the eye that penetrates the sedan pole. Custom embroidery of a new double-layered sedan chair, inside and outside, costs several hundred yuan. The user should discuss it with the manager of the sedan shop in advance. For example, if the materials are worth 500 yuan, how much will each of them pay? After using it, this thing will be All returned to the sedan chair. This kind of extravagance and wasteful scene is not something that ordinary households can achieve. Only wealthy people can create this kind of scene.
The dowry ceremony - the day when women send dowries to men's homes. In the morning before the woman's dowry has been delivered, the man needs to bring the "dowry reminder" first. The makeup-inducing gift is very important, and four pairs of boxes and four food boxes are always available. The boxes are covered with embroidered "boxes", and on them are the accessories and clothes worn by the bride when she rides the sedan chair. The food box contains steamed food, oven food (these two kinds are ordered by pastry shops and steamed bun shops, and are called "Dafuxi", which are as big as today's dry layer cakes), wide cross-cut noodles (called heart wide noodles), Live chickens, live ducks, fresh fish, small fresh meats and four-color fruits, four-color nuts, etc. It is a makeup-inducing gift that is well-equipped by aristocratic families. Although ordinary households give away less, they still need to have all the items, because old customs persist and they have to do so.
If a woman's family is poor and the man gives her a sum of money and stops shopping, it is called a "zhuangzhuang gift", which is very rare.
Marriage customs across the country: dowry ceremony - after the men's dowry gifts are delivered, the women's dowry is gradually delivered, and the men have to arrange for relatives and friends to welcome them.
How much a dowry is, is measured by "carrying". To put it bluntly, "carrying" refers to the dowry table rented from the "small shop", and every dowry raised