Marriage
Engagement In the old days, marriage was based on family status, and the emphasis was on "matching the right family" and obeying "the orders of parents and the words of the matchmaker." Neither the man nor the woman has any autonomy, and it is like a marriage by purchase and sale.
When concluding a marriage, you first ask a matchmaker to arrange a match. When seeking marriage, the male matchmaker goes to the girl's home to ask for her, and there is absolutely no case where a girl asks for a boy. The matchmaker must be treated as a guest, and wine and food must be prepared. As the saying goes, "the success of a marriage depends on hundreds and twenty bottles of wine." After both parties agree, the man will accompany the man to the woman's house for a "blind date." After the woman agrees, her parents or brothers, or even a matchmaker or relatives will accompany the girl to the man's house for a "blind date." After the blind date, the man chooses an auspicious day and asks someone to bring a gift to the woman to ask for the birth year, month, day, and hour. After getting the "Nian Geng Tie" back, you have to ask a blind fortune teller to "combine the eight characters". The horoscopes cannot conflict with each other, such as "dragon and tiger fighting", "two dragons in different pools", "chicken and rabbit in different cages", etc. are not suitable for marriage. The man also needs to send the horoscope to the woman for marriage. If the eight characters match, and the parents of both parties agree to the marriage, the groom's family will choose a date, write the engagement date on a red dragon and phoenix post, and ask a matchmaker to send it to the bride's family along with the betrothal gift, which is called "engagement." In return, the woman gives a top hat with the number one scholar flower, candies and cakes, etc., as well as a pair of embroidered bags and two evergreen plants, which is commonly known as "return of love". After the engagement, the man and woman are considered husband and wife, and no one else is allowed to come to seek marriage.
The period from engagement to marriage can range from half a year to three years. The wedding period is called "day" and is determined by the fortune teller based on the zodiac signs. If the wedding date is unfavorable to the bride’s family, you can go back and choose a new date. One or two days before the wedding, the man's family sends someone to the woman's home to pick up the dowry, which is called "dowry delivery." Dowry items vary from place to place, generally including acacia quilts, pillows, cabinets, boxes, drawer tables, square stools, foot buckets, descendant buckets, dressing tables and other essential items. In recent years, many dowries are a combination of old and new. In the evening, the groom's family holds a banquet in the "warming room". On the wedding day, the man sends a sedan to welcome the bride. Before the bride gets on the sedan, both mother and daughter cry, indicating that they are inseparable and difficult to leave. This is called "crying marriage". In Jiangshan area, the bride's sedan is taking off on the road, and the younger brother hangs on the sedan bars with both hands to carry it for a certain distance. This is commonly known as "hanging the sedan bars", which also expresses his unwillingness to leave. There are "crying marriage words" in the "crying marriage" in Kaihua area, such as "Looking at you to marry the man, the rising tide will lift the boat, step by step on the stairs; the lotus flowers will bloom on the hand, the wife will be married, the parents-in-law will be happy; the wife will go to bed, and the descendants will be full; When the husband comes to the table, the floor is covered with copper coins,... Prosperity will come all year round, and ingots will roll in!" When the sedan arrives at the groom's house, the bride will be supported by Mrs. Li, and she walks in on red carpets or sacks that have been laid out on the ground in turn, which is called "passing on from generation to generation." Then they went to the church to get married, entertained guests in the evening, and then went to the new house after the banquet. Three days after the wedding, the groom and the bride go back to their natal home to meet their parents-in-law, called "Hui Men", and return on the same day.
After the promulgation of the Marriage Law in 1950, marriage autonomy, free love, and civilized marriage were advocated. The red tape of old customs has been gradually reduced.
Marriage Customs In the old days, marriage customs in all counties in Quzhou were roughly the same.
Child brides are usually given as child brides to others because their families are not well-off, have too many people, and have difficulty raising them. They are afraid that their daughters will grow up and cannot afford a dowry, so they become child brides. Weddings are also held at this time. If the man dies before the marriage, the child bride is married off as his daughter, and some never marry.
Bringing in a wife is commonly known as "recruiting a bride". The woman's "recruitment" is usually because she has no brothers in the family. Most of the men who marry into the bride are from poor families, have many brothers, and cannot afford to marry. Son-in-laws who marry into the bride are often discriminated against and cannot be admitted. There is a saying that "a man who recruits a bride is considered a good man if he does not run away for three years." explain. When seeking a bride in the Changshan area, you must write the word "recruiting bride" and place it on the lawn or stone outside the gate to indicate that you are under the supervision of the villagers. If someone offends the villagers after recruiting a bride, they are often kicked out of the village. Therefore, in the past, marrying into a child was regarded as a fearful way. Today, this custom has changed, and those who marry into a child are protected by the law.
In marriage exchange, two families, due to their poor family background or harmonious relationship, marry each other's daughter as their daughter-in-law, without giving any financial gifts. This is commonly known as "bao for treasure".
Remarriage is commonly known as "second marriage". Widows generally have to observe mourning for three years before remarrying. However, they are considered dishonorable and do not have the freedom to choose a husband. They must be at the mercy of their clansmen. Those who marry widows are mostly widowed or poor people who cannot afford to marry. The man will marry on an auspicious day and night, and the widow will ride in a "black cane sedan" or "blue cane sedan." After the founding of the People's Republic of China, this custom was abolished.
Happiness is also called "happiness". After the engagement, the man became seriously ill and could not afford the marriage. The two parties agreed to get married ahead of schedule, and the younger sister took the place of her elder brother. If a man dies, a woman becomes a widow. In the old days, there was a custom of people with the same surname not to marry, but this has been abolished now.
Funeral Ceremony
Most people are buried after death. The funeral rituals in the old days were complicated and cumbersome, and had a strong superstitious color. When an old man is dying, his children must stand by him until his death, which is commonly known as "sending off the deceased". When closing one's eyes, burning straw sandals, umbrellas, baggage, incense paper, and tinfoil is called "giving away money". Place the body on the door panel and move it to the middle hall or the right side in front of the hall. The head is placed with seven tiles, the face is covered with straw paper, a copper coin wrapped in red paper is held in the mouth, and a green oil lamp is lit behind the feet. At the same time, someone was sent to bring an umbrella to relatives and friends' homes to report the funeral. When you go to a relative's or friend's home, you put the umbrella upright on the threshold. When the relative or friend receives the bad news, they prepare gifts and go to pay their respects. Sons-in-law send birthday peaches, rice dumplings, pig heads, whole chickens, and whole geese; relatives and friends generally send joss sticks, birthday quilts, elegiac couplets, silk quilt covers, etc. The coffin is commonly called "falling material". The deceased is washed and dressed before the coffin, and then the eldest son holds the head, and the daughter or son-in-law carries the deceased into the coffin. Charcoal and lime bags are placed in the coffin, and then the "longevity quilts" sent by relatives and friends are covered one by one, and the daughter and daughter-in-law pay their respects. The name of the person who gave the gift, and finally the coffin was closed, which was called "sealing material".
Funeral ceremonies are the most solemn. Wealthy families will ask Taoist priests to do ashram for three days and nights before the funeral to save the deceased, which is called "making merit". On the day of the funeral, a person of high status should be asked to read out the sacrificial rites and burn the statue of the god. The children should wear linen and straw sandals to pay homage to relatives and friends in the filial piety hall. During the funeral, the son-in-law held an umbrella over the grave and carried a paper money bag in the lead. Relatives and friends wearing white hats, white pockets and holding incense follow. Gongs and drums were sounded, suonas were played, and paper money was scattered all the way to the cemetery. After the coffin is laid in the ground, it is made of bricks. In the evening, prepare a banquet of "white wine" to send to bereaved relatives and friends, and give each person a towel or five or six feet of white cloth in return, which is called "thank you for filial piety." After the founding of the People's Republic of China, most of the feudal superstitious content of funerals was abolished, and funeral ceremonies were simplified. Generally, wreaths were sent, black gauze and small white flowers were worn, and memorial services were held to express condolences. After 1979, cremation gradually became popular in cities and towns, while burial was still the main practice in rural areas.
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