People who don't like talking, what are they thinking? Everyone's personality and way of doing things are different. Some people don't like to talk, while others like to chat with friends. People who don't like to talk are hard to understand. Here's what quiet people are thinking!
People who don't like to talk, what are they thinking 1 1. Seeing this topic, I have the following thoughts:
1. What are quiet people like?
2. How is the characteristic of not talking formed?
3. What are the advantages and benefits of people who don't like to talk?
4. What are the shortcomings and shortcomings of people who don't like to talk?
5. How do people who don't like to talk make people around them feel?
6. How do people who don't like talking feel about the people around them?
7. How to get along with people who don't like to talk?
Usually, we evaluate whether a person likes to talk, mainly to see whether he is used to talking with his mouth open when he has the ability to speak, that is, when there is no physical defect in language expression, when most people think or he thinks it is necessary to express his meaning and thoughts in language, or whether he can express himself smoothly according to his inner thoughts; And whether he can speak actively, independently, naturally, habitually and fluently when most people think he needs to express himself in words. I emphasize two points here: the first point is that most people think so, not himself; Second, he may think so himself, but he can't act and express as he pleases.
One more thing we need to pay attention to: what is the speech for? It is the expression of inner feelings and thoughts, a tool to realize inner thinking and a means to complete interpersonal communication. The question is, besides using language to express our inner feelings, opinions and even thoughts, do we have other "more effective and appropriate expressions" for individuals rather than most people? That is to say, when a person doesn't like to talk or is not good at talking, is he unable to complete the individual task of expressing his inner feelings, opinions and even ideas like others? Or, is it possible that he is completely unwilling to express this? Perhaps, he doesn't think it is good for him to express these things by talking at all, that is to say, not talking is only the best choice for him.
Second, not talking, or being described as "not talking", is the best choice for some individuals.
As a psychologist, Zhang Jingang is willing to believe this. Let's assume that a person has experienced the following scenarios in his early days:
1. When he/she was a child, he was very willing to express his needs and ideas to his parents and relatives in the family. However, if children are always accused and opposed by their families for expressing their needs, then children will unconsciously have an idea that expressing their needs is bad and will be punished;
2. He may be very willing to state his views and ideas at an early age, but he seldom gets responses from his relatives and family. Then the child's desire to express will be swallowed up by this indifference of "no response and no attention", and the child will unconsciously produce my needs and express thoughts that are not needed and worthless.
3. It is also possible that when a child speaks or works in a certain language, he suffers some unconscious injury caused by the outside world, and then it is implicated in the child's expressive ability. It is the child who has a certain bad cognition and feeling about "speaking" in his heart, which has affected the ability and desire of language expression since then;
4. It is also possible that in the family, parents are silent, or one of the parents is not good at talking, so the child may be influenced by the parents who are not good at talking in behavior learning and personality identity. There is a kind of understanding in the child's subconscious that it is safe not to talk, or that he "knows what to say, but he just doesn't know what to say at the critical moment", that is, there is no mode of talking more in the child's mind, although
In addition to the common reasons I listed above, I think there must be other special reasons that lead to a person's "not talking" or "talking less", but what is certain is that when a person's character of not talking much is formed, this expression must be of protective significance to the individual itself, otherwise the individual will think that talking more is unsafe; Or simply put: there is a part of individual spirit that strongly urges individuals to talk less or not. As a complete person, individuals sometimes can't help themselves.
Third, but don't talk. What should children do to express their inner thoughts and needs?
Inner voices and feelings will be expressed by individuals in other ways, so flexible expression is not limited by individuals. There are several expressions:
1, expressed by body language, eyes and facial expressions, when people's language expression function is hindered, other expression functions will inevitably be particularly developed;
2. There is another situation, which is indifference and hardship. When the part that the individual needs to express in the early stage is blocked, the individual may think that everything is ok; The way of revealing information is not good, so you will find a completely "speechless" and rigid person, which is the result of the inner conflict formed after the individual has been depressed for a long time. Generally speaking, men's expression in this respect is stronger than that of women's, which is also the reason why individuals form strong antagonistic reverse expression after their early expression is blocked-I won't speak at all if you don't let me.
3. The other is the result of social cognitive intervention: men are generally not as talkative as women. Men who talk a lot are often considered not to be like men, nagging and trivial. More often, men solve problems with actions and women solve problems with their mouths. Men think it is best to be simple and clear, while women think that farmers can only understand the whole thing slowly. As a result, in the communication between men and women, it is usually women who keep saying that men keep silent and are urgently asked, and men start smoking or running away.
Generally speaking, people who are not good at words are more sensitive, see things more calmly and thoroughly, and often "make a blockbuster without saying a word". A lot of words accumulate there, accumulate, and think about one thing repeatedly in my heart. When suddenly one day, or a certain moment, he will finish his foreign communication concisely and forcefully, or very explosively, which will often make people around him unsatisfied. Of course, it may also be because it has not been expressed for a long time, and the attack power is very strong. The content of a sentence is too tolerant, which brings unbearable pressure to the outside world.
People who don't like to talk often give people around them this feeling:
1, difficult to communicate, or dull feeling;
2. I can't guess what he is thinking, which gives people a feeling of being inaccessible;
3, the information sent can not get effective feedback, and it is very tired to get along with this.
4, more sophisticated and calm, with many ideas.
At the same time, people who don't like to talk also feel this way about the people around them:
First, envy others can always do whatever they want and have good expression skills. Such people are often people who are not very good at language expression but want to express themselves;
Second, I feel that others are long-winded and talk too much, which is the general feeling of men for women;
Third, they are often in the conflict of whether to say or not. Such people have suffered some controlled injuries in their expressive ability.
To get along with people who don't like to talk, we must first distinguish the superficial reasons and real reasons why people who don't like to talk less, and then sit down and judge and take countermeasures. Don't force a person who thinks he talks too much. He is always concise and uses thick lines to describe. You should learn to feel the meaning of his words, then communicate patiently, and ask questions if you don't understand, but you can't blame him. Second, for those who feel unsafe to talk more, don't be patient, try to encourage and guide him to express, and he will talk more; Third, for those who want to say but don't know what to say. You should learn to guide him, ask him slowly, find his ideas bit by bit, and help him complete his expression. This way not only helps to communicate with people around you, but also helps to communicate with children.
People who don't talk, what are they thinking?
Hemingway said, "It took us two years to learn to speak, but it took us sixty years to learn to shut up."
Around us, there are always some people who don't like to talk, don't like to contact others actively, and don't like to make friends.
They often stay in the corner of the world and do what they want. Although you don't like talking, it doesn't mean that you can't talk or don't know how to talk!
On the contrary, people know what they are talking about. If you have such a person around you, don't entertain her. She actually knows a lot of things, but she just doesn't want to reveal them.
It's not that friends are not good enough, nor that wine tastes bad. Whether I am happy or unhappy, I don't think I need to say anything! Before long, Kan Kan spoke again.
When people reach middle age, it is not that they are less and less talkative, but that fewer and fewer people can arouse their interest.
When we are young, our hearts are full of curiosity and desire to communicate. The hormones of youth make us full of vitality. After entering the society, I met many people. After a lot of things, my mood has faded, and I may be less and less talkative.
two
There is an old saying: "Water depth makes people silent." .
Many times, speaking is a sign, while silence is a kind of intelligence. I like to argue with others, mostly because I'm not sure. Timely silence is a kind of accomplishment, but also a realm.
Many people think that introverts don't like to talk, so they are difficult to get along with. But this is not the case, but he has his own mountain in his heart, which is very difficult for people who don't understand; There is a sea in his heart, which is difficult for people who don't understand.
Many people don't want to talk to others. First, because of different ideas, I don't think it is necessary to talk about it. Even if they know, they don't want to hear it. Why waste your breath? Second, he is not good at talking and doesn't like to communicate with others.
There are some things you can understand in your heart, but not saying them doesn't mean you don't know them.
I am a quiet person, introverted, like quiet, like to be alone, and gradually get used to living alone.
three
A slip of the foot can still be pursued, and a slip of the tongue is hard to recover. Silence is better than silence.
When people reach middle age, some pains can only be buried in their hearts. If they talk too much, they are all tears, which can only be the last joke of others.
They are silent, not because they are speechless, but because they know very well that there is no need to say anything.
People who know you can naturally see your goodness, but people who don't know you will never know your goodness. Needless to say, those who know you, and those who don't know you.
A taciturn person is accustomed to introversion, so no matter what happens, he will not show his emotions and weaknesses.
four
"a gentleman speaks but doesn't do it."
All the education we received from childhood taught us to talk less and do more. Keep your feet on the ground and talk less. Be practical and speak less.
A person gradually doesn't want to talk, not lonely, but mature. Therefore, an educated and mature person should be a man of few words.
As I grow older, I suddenly feel that my burden has increased. The pressure of life, the dissatisfaction of life and the dissatisfaction of work make you really understand that talking too much loses too much meaning.
People who don't like to talk have experienced more ups and downs than ordinary people, and there are often extraordinary stories behind them. It can be said that it is the hardships of life that make them thoroughly understand life and human nature and become silent.
Silence in language is not an ideological emptiness, whether it is silence or solitude, it is a process ready to go.
A person's maturity is to leave a silence for himself, not to make noise, not to say much, not to argue, to settle down and live hard.