Dawu County’s marriage customs.
In the past, marriage between men and women in the county was "the order of the parents and the words of the matchmaker." Nowadays, although most of them are free love, the marriage procedures and marriage ceremonies still basically follow the ancient ones. Whether it is an old-fashioned or a new-style marriage, it must go through four major procedures: negotiation, engagement, marriage proposal, and marriage.
1. Arrangement of marriage: In the old-fashioned marriage, the matchmaker comes to the house to discuss marriage based on the concept of "well-matched" or at the invitation of a certain party. It is commonly known as "making wine and drinking". There are "three bottles of wine". said. If both parents agree, they will ask a fortune teller to tell their children's fortunes and test the horoscopes to see if they are consistent, which is called "checking the horoscopes" or "combining the horoscopes". In the new style of marriage, after both men and women have freely agreed to fall in love, the man first invites a person with a good relationship to come to the woman's home to propose marriage. Although it is a formality, it is necessary because of the saying "It doesn't rain unless there are clouds in the sky, and there is no matchmaker on the ground." If you don't get married, you will be criticized by the world.
2. Engagement: After the matchmaker agrees and the parents of both parties agree, the groom's family will select an auspicious day to entertain the matchmaker. When inviting a matchmaker to a banquet, relatives from the family must be invited to accompany them as witnesses of their son's engagement. This banquet is called "looking at the house", "drinking" or "drinking the right cup".
3. Marriage proposal: The man invites the matchmaker to a banquet and asks him to go to the woman's home to convey his request for marriage, which is called "matchmaking". After the matchmaker obtains the consent of the girl's parents, the man once again sets up a banquet to entertain the girl's parents and the matchmaker, which is commonly known as "eating a marriage banquet".
4. Marriage: After the "marriage proposal", both men and women prepare for the wedding. During this period, the man must give a bride price to the woman. In the past, betrothal gifts were mostly ordinary clothing, shoes and socks, and a small amount of cash. Now, with the improvement of living standards, betrothal gifts are mostly high-end clothing, leather shoes, gold necklaces, color TVs, refrigerators, washing machines, motorcycles, and cash. The man gives the woman a betrothal gift, which is called "lower betrothal". Then, the groom chooses an auspicious day and asks someone to take the bride home in a sedan chair or a car and hold a wedding ceremony, which is called "going to the hall". In the Bath River area, it is customary for the groom to go to the bride's home to marry her.
There are many marriage etiquettes, the main ones are:
Sending Chakou cake: This is a great gift for the man to ask the woman’s parents for permission to marry. The gifts are mainly glutinous rice cakes and steamed buns, and must also include sugar, wine, meat, clothing materials, etc. Among them, the number of glutinous rice cakes and steamed buns is very large. In Liuji area, there are "eight hundred glutinous rice cakes, steamed buns", and in Xuanhua and Luwang areas, there are "one thousand and eight hundred glutinous rice buns".
Sending the Dragon Boat Festival (or sending the Mid-Autumn Festival): It is the most important gift that the man gives to the woman’s family during the wedding. If the wedding is in the first half of the year, Dragon Boat Festival gifts are given; if the wedding is in the second half of the year, Mid-Autumn Festival gifts are usually given. For this gift, the man must give as many gifts as there are relatives and relatives in the woman's family. The gifts include meat, sugar, glutinous rice cakes, snacks and clothing materials, etc., which are called "sending the Dragon Boat Festival" or "sending the Mid-Autumn Festival".
Getting the Geng Tie: Also known as the "geng eight characters", it is a gift that the man must give to the girl's parents when he comes to the girl's home to find out the girl's birthday. The gifts are usually meat, sugar, and cigarettes. , wine, etc.
Gift date: After the wedding date is chosen, the man wraps the red note with the wedding date in clothing, prepares gifts, and sends them to the woman's home together, which is called "gift date".
Reward gift to craftsmen: When the woman’s family invites craftsmen to prepare the dowry, the man should prepare cigarettes, wine, tea, fish, noodles and other vegetarian dishes and send them to the woman’s home to entertain the craftsmen. It is called giving a "reward gift" or giving "food to eat".
Top gift: A few days before the wedding, the man gives the woman dowry items, etc., which is called "dowry gift" or "tow gift".
Giving a big gift: On the day before the wedding, when the man invites someone to carry the dowry to the woman’s home, he gives a heavy gift to the woman’s family. The gifts include: two pieces of pork weighing about 10 kilograms each, called "grandfather and mother meat"; two large fresh fish weighing more than 5 kilograms, called "pair fish"; a large pig leg weighing about 20 kilograms, It is called "pig elbow"; a large lamb leg weighing more than 10 kilograms is called "sheep elbow". In addition, there are noodles and more. This ceremony, also known as "elbow-beating", is the last ceremony before marriage.
Returning to the door: It is a necessary gift when the bride and groom return to her parents’ home for the first time after marriage. The gift is the same as the "Duan Yang Festival" or "Mid-Autumn Festival". This time the bride and groom come to visit as guests, which is called "returning to the door", and the gifts they bring are called "returning to the door". The girl's family must entertain her uncles and relatives at a banquet, which is called "returning home wine". Everyone who attends the banquet must receive a "returning gift"; each "new guest" (i.e., the new son-in-law) will be invited to the home for a banquet, and a gift (clothing or money) will also be given to the "new guest". It's called a "door-to-door gift". At this point, all marriage rituals end.