before and after liberation, the marriage custom in Shangnan was always carried out according to the "Six Rites". One is "winning the lottery", that is, inviting the matchmaker. When a child is old enough to talk about marriage, he asks a girl or a young man who has prestige in both families to propose marriage. The so-called "no success, three bottles of wine" is the beginning of hiring a matchmaker. The second is "asking the name." If the parents of both sides agree to the marriage, they will exchange "birthdates" and ask the fortune teller to "calculate the sum". If there is no rush in the eight characters, the girl will go to the man to look after the house accompanied by the matchmaker, mother or sister-in-law. If the woman has no problem with the man, she can eat at the man's house, stay overnight or receive clothes gifts, which is roughly the default. The third is "Najib", also known as "gift" or "engagement". On the day of engagement, the man should send "four-color gifts" to his relatives, clothes to the girl and parents and exchange "Geng Tie" according to the arrangement of the woman. The man wrote on the dragon and phoenix post, "I was born on the day of the year of the year of the year of the year"; On both sides, write the words "Dragon and Phoenix Dance, Lin Zhi Cheng Xiang" and so on. The woman should write on the same Zhang Longfeng post that "Kun was born on the day of ××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××× The number of words should be equal and every pair is not single. On this day, men and women will invite their uncles and aunts and other close relatives, and please have a wedding banquet. The gift from the man, the woman's family generally only accepts half. The fourth is "collecting". When both men and women are old enough to get married, the man will ask the matchmaker to go to the woman's house to ask for the wedding date and opinions, and agree on the time, so that both sides can get ready. The fifth is "please". The man chooses the wedding date and informs the woman with a red post. If the woman has no objection, the matchmaker should ask about the bride price, how many generations to send relatives and raise dowry. The sixth is "welcoming relatives". On the wedding day, the man's family invited someone to pick out the gifts, clothes, ornaments and cosmetics for the funeral incense, and accompanied the matchmaker to carry the sedan chair to the woman's house. The sedan chair can't be lifted empty. When you go, you need a child to sit in it, which is called "pressing the sedan chair". All the activities of the man's wedding reception are always led by a polite, easy-going and good at rhetoric, which is called "guest head" After the banquet, the two sides sent gifts such as kitchen, sedan chair, combing hair and leaving mother. The bride put on new clothes, socks and shoes, burned incense and kowtowed, bid farewell to her ancestors and parents, hung bronze mirrors, put on a hijab and was carried into the sedan chair by her brother or younger brother.
when the bride arrives home, she should shoot to welcome her. The groom bowed to the front of the sedan chair, led his mother to lift the curtain of the sedan chair, and helped the bride out of the sedan chair. The rich family paved the floor with a red carpet, and the bride walked along the carpet. One person held a wooden bucket filled with whole grains, red dates, hemp money, peanuts and walnuts, sang and sprinkled, and sat down outside the main room. Enter the bridal chamber after the worship ceremony. After the bride and groom entered the bridal chamber, Lao Biao and brother in law began to grab the red eggs, peanuts, hairy chestnuts and walnuts in the quilt and pillow. The bride and groom sat down in front of the bed, and two bowls of tea (two poached eggs in each bowl) were brought from the kitchen. The bride and groom symbolically took a sip and exchanged tea. Some also pay homage, and the bride and groom kowtow to the ancestral tablets, and all their closest relatives send red envelopes. After that, the wedding reception began, and the farewell party, the matchmaker and the family members of the "grandmother" were guests of honor, naturally ranking first. The cold dishes are removed, and the hot dishes are served on the seventh round, which means "wife reunion". At this time, the newlyweds propose a toast to the guests, usually seven cups, and parents and close relatives also propose a toast as a reward. Finally, there is also a banquet in the new house, called reunion wine. Generally, the family sits at a table, accompanied by aunts, sisters and sisters. When drinking, newlyweds should exchange glasses to drink, which is called "drinking a glass of wine", which means being of one mind and one mind.
After the wedding banquet, Cousin, brother in law and other relatives and neighbors are going to have a wedding (there is also a saying that the bride will be big or small for three days). Shangnan people have a more civilized bedroom. There is a table and seven kinds of sweets in the room. The bride and groom toast cigarettes first, and then they toast seven glasses of wine clockwise. The rowdy cousin and other relatives asked the bride and groom to say something funny or play funny games such as "pasting the ceiling" and "crossing the turtle". Some of them drank seven glasses of wine three times, and some of them laughed while eating candy. Marriage in feudal society is mostly arranged, which is probably a way to adjust the atmosphere and enhance understanding!
On the third day of marriage, the bride usually goes to the kitchen to cook, which is called "trying the knife" to show the bride's education and skills. On the tenth day, the bride's brother-in-law came to pick her up, and the bride and her husband went back to their parents' house together, which was called Huimen. Generally, the man stays for 1 days and the woman stays for 9 days, which is called the men's football and women's buckle. In the first month of the second year of marriage, the newlyweds should "thank the media" and bring gifts back to their parents' homes to recognize their relatives.