When the ancients talked about marriage, the word "marriage" was often written as the word "hun". At first, they mistakenly thought that the words "marriage" and "hun" were interchangeable, but in fact they have a deeper meaning.
The ancients had many interpretations of the word marriage:
First, it refers to the ceremony of marriage. Xu Shen's "Shuowen Jiezi" explains the word "marriage" as: "ritual, marrying a woman when she is unconscious is called marriage." Zheng Xuan of the Han Dynasty explained: "The way of marriage is the etiquette of marrying." Kong Yingda of the Tang Dynasty said: "The ceremony of marrying a wife ends in the evening, because of the name." Ancient society paid special attention to the marriage ceremony and believed that if a marriage did not have a marriage ceremony, it would not be considered a legal marriage.
Secondly, marriage refers to the title of husband and wife. Zheng Xuan said: "A son-in-law is called marriage, and a wife is called marriage."
Thirdly, he believes that marriage refers to the relationship between in-laws. "Erya. Shi Qin" says: "The son-in-law's father is the marriage, the wife's father is the marriage, the wife's parents and the son-in-law's parents are the marriage, the wife's party is the marriage brother, and the husband's party is the marriage brother."
Fourth, it refers to the time when the wedding is held. "White Tiger Tongyi?" "Marriage" explains the ancient choice of weddings in the dark: "What is marriage? We perform rituals in the dark, so it is called marriage. A woman is made because of her husband, so it is called marriage. The poem goes: 'It's not just the old reason. ' means husband. It is also called 'Yan Er's newlywed', which means wife. So why do you bow when the sun falls? It means that the yin and yang come together. This means that before the Han Dynasty, weddings were mostly held in the dark. These explanations can be summarized as follows: the son-in-law marries the wife when he is unconscious, the wife comes because of the son-in-law, and the title of the couple is determined accordingly, and the in-law relationship between the two families is established, all of which are realized through the marriage ceremony.
Later, the custom of getting married at dusk was no longer popular, and people mostly chose the right time to get married through divination and reading auspicious books.
When the ancients mentioned marriage, they often involved "six rites". For example, "Etiquette. Shihun Li" records: "Shihun Li must use faint and Xin in everything he does." Zheng Xuan commented: "Use Xin, messenger; use faint, son-in-law." That is, the first five in the process of six rites The groom's family sends envoys to the bride's family to perform all the rituals, and the time must be at dawn; and the final "personal greeting" must be at night. The so-called six rites are actually the entire etiquette process of marriage. After the Warring States Period, some literati collected customs from various places and records from their predecessors and compiled them into the "Six Rites", which gradually became a unified form of betrothal.
The six rituals are: One is "Nacai", that is, the man sends a gift of acceptance to the woman's family to express his desire to propose marriage to the woman's family. If the bride’s family accepts, proceed to the second step.
The second one is "asking for the name", that is, the man's host brings a book and invites the matchmaker to the woman's house to ask for the woman's birth date, time and name.
The third one is "Naji", that is, after the man's parents ask for the woman's birth date, they will determine whether the combination of the two surnames will be unlucky or bad based on the birth dates of both men and women through fortune telling or asking ancestors and gods. lucky. If the divination is unlucky, the marriage will be terminated. If the divination is auspicious, the matchmaker will be asked to notify the woman and confirm the engagement.
The fourth is "Nazheng", that is, after a good omen is obtained from the divination, the matchmaker will formally send a betrothal gift to the girl's family on behalf of the man's family. At this point, the man and woman are officially engaged, and the woman cannot marry anyone else.
The fifth one is "asking for the date", which means both the man and the woman determine the date of marriage.
The sixth one is "welcome in person", which means the groom marries the bride. When the traditional "six rites" progress to the "welcome" stage, the entire wedding process reaches its climax, and the related etiquette procedures are the most complicated and detailed. On the day of the wedding, the man follows his father's orders and goes to his daughter's house first. The daughter's father greets her at the door. At this time, the son-in-law pays homage to the ancestor of the daughter's family. After that, the groom welcomes the daughter into his car and goes back to his home together. Regardless of whether you are a noble clan or a commoner, this cumbersome procedure cannot be ignored.
During the Zhenguan period, Princess Chengyang married Du He. Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty ordered fortune-telling for an auspicious day, and the diviner said: "Both fires are eaten, and they will be prosperous at the beginning and will be together at the end. If the day falls, it will be auspicious." Ma Zhou admonished: "When you pay a visit to the court, you think about each other and take warning; when you teach in the day, you think about each other; you drink in the morning, you think about each other; when you get married, you think about each other at night; therefore, there is success both above and below. There are relatives inside and outside, there are times of movement, and there are good and bad things. It is not allowed to do it now. If you are slow to do so, the sage will not use it. The wedding of Princess Chengyang was held.
The specific content and procedures of betrothal marriages have changed in the past dynasties, but they remain the same, and the essence of the form is similar.
When the "Six Rites" are launched, the parents' orders and the matchmaker's words are important foundations and iron rules that must be observed in ancient marriages. The so-called "external words do not enter the bundle and internal words do not come out. bundle". But there are exceptions. "The Legacy of Kaiyuan Tianbao" records an interesting story about Li Linfu. The book says: "Li Linfu has six girls, each with their own beauty. In Yulu's house, they are not allowed to ask for her. There is a horizontal window in the wall of Linfu's hall, decorated with miscellaneous treasures and silk curtains. He usually keeps the six girls Playing in the window, every time a nobleman comes to visit, Lin Fu will let the girl choose the one she likes in the window. "Obviously, the marriage of Li Linfu's daughter broke the ugly custom of the Tang Dynasty and was left behind by the ancients who did not pay attention to it. Traditional? Did parents in the Tang Dynasty not have authority? None. It's just that society in the Tang Dynasty was relatively strong, and those who were fathers and mothers were more open-minded.