When you are poor, you cry to your parents and borrow money everywhere. What's important is that such people may not pay you back, and they can say anything they lend you. If you want to come back, it's like killing him In a word, if such relatives meet once, they must stay away resolutely the second time.
Snobbishy relatives should not be uncommon, especially in rural areas. When your family is rich, you can't wait to visit your family every day, all kinds of flattery and gifts.
But when you are down and out, you immediately make a 180-degree turn, wishing to stay away from you, pretending not to know you, and looking into your high eyes, your face is cold. Such relatives should not approach them at first, just keep a certain distance from them all the time.
Big-mouthed relatives, that is, gossiping relatives, like to spread false information, see the wind is rain, jealous and vain. Such people are often more dangerous than murderers, because they love slander, which is the worst and most unpredictable of all crimes.
I like to speak ill of you behind others' backs. Many times I don't know why. In short, it is best not to have such relatives, and if there are, don't even meet.
Because of the inheritance of blood and the conclusion of engagement, there are countless relatives, so there are relatives. It is this blood relationship that people have the most contact with in their lives. I was always accompanied by my parents when I was a child. When I grow up, I have a lover After getting along for a long time, it becomes a good impression. There are also seven aunts and eight aunts from two families who sent you warmth. Is it good to have more relatives? Are all relatives good people? Not necessarily. It takes a long time to read people's hearts. "No matter how good a relative is, there are three things that you don't give." These three relatives had better not associate with each other.
Relatives who love to take advantage of others. We always remind ourselves to "drip our own sweat and eat our own food", which means we can't eat our own food, let alone take advantage of others' food. Life is an example of some people who are greedy for small things and eat big losses. Look at those who have been cheated. Most of them are greedy and cheap. There are many such people among our relatives. Because we are relatives, we always take everything for granted. Even if someone else orders or sells something, they don't have to pay, take it away and use it without saying a word, and privately think that "yours is mine." Relatives politely agreed to face to face because of face. After a long time, how can you bear it? In fact, this kind of relatives who want to take advantage love to take advantage of others. He only has his own eyes, so he is unhappy if he can't take advantage. I always say that others are petty!
If you pay unilaterally, on the one hand, you can't afford it, on the other hand, you are very tired to get along. And it will directly affect the mood. Although most people don't care about that little interest and always want to maintain the relationship between their loved ones, this behavior is really chilling. Don't leave for such relatives.
The face of calculating relatives is a reciprocal thing. This kind of human contact is really a big burden at present. However, it is precisely because of this blood relationship that I have to keep up with the pace and send my personal feelings and my blessings. This may be understandable, and there is no back and forth, and the face cannot be erased.
But there are some relatives who haven't seen each other for many years, not to mention some contacts, which are slightly related to relatives and friends. Suddenly, they either come to the door, take a message or make a phone call. In this case, you must be needed. Said the old man died, said the child is going to get married, said to eat full moon wine, to move, to hold a school banquet and so on. Relatives invited me. This banquet is not free. You have to pay for it yourself. This is also a dilemma. Don't go, people still remember you, and it's not appropriate to send a blessing orally. Come on, it's a little humbled and unworthy. You haven't sent me lucky money yet!
This kind of relative is really annoying, but spend some money to see a person clearly, buy a lesson, and don't talk to each other in the future.
Gossip about relatives. Originally, when you were in trouble, I lent you money with the help of other property, and I may have met your behavior of not paying attention to honesty in lending money. But some relatives will still miss this old relationship. I like pointing fingers at others, such as the way to support the elderly, the way to educate children, the way to earn money, or the appearance of poverty. Even my relatives have something to say about their clothes and hairstyles.
Needless to say, picking up things is the "housekeeping skill" of some relatives. I just want to raise myself and destroy the prestige of my loved ones. They like to sow discord, see that relatives have good relations and often walk around, and talk about their roots behind their backs; When people's relationship becomes tense, they step in horizontally and become "peacemakers" and good people on both sides. What's more, he didn't help or adjust one side, but fanned the flames, and he was only satisfied when things were both hurt and could not end. Things will come out one day, and I will understand the whole story. I dare not associate with such relatives even if I die.
The purest communication between people is to exchange sincerity for sincerity. In mutual communication, there will be some experience and perception. Once you meet your loved ones, most of them are emotional and take into account the existence of face. In order not to ruin your reputation, family relationship and career development; In order not to complicate simple things. Some relatives are even worse than neighbors. Therefore, "no matter how good relatives are, there are three things that you don't pay", which still makes sense.
No matter how good a relative is, there are three things you can't make friends with. That makes sense. People know their faces but don't know their hearts. Even relatives are separated by their bellies. We should also learn to be vigilant. Don't think that we are relatives, just because we are relatives, we can get along casually. There should be no harm to others, no precautions against others, and even the best relatives should be prepared. If they are unprepared, they must be prepared. Be prepared for danger in times of peace, prepare for a rainy day and prepare for a rainy day, which is what every rational person should do. Throughout ancient and modern times, at home and abroad, how many people are negligent, especially their relatives are not on guard. Many people have been miserable by their relatives, and some have been robbed of their homes and become extinct. The lesson is extremely profound.
People should always keep their distance when getting along with others, and be on guard. Relatives are the same, not only relatives but also relatives, on the surface, they can get along casually without any precautions. People are greedy and selfish, and some disregard moral affection for greed, selfishness, fame and fortune. Therefore, when treating relatives, we should also observe the discerning people, put a mirror ruler in our hearts, and make a decision after observing the number of people. You can't just look at the surface, let alone be careless. We should also distinguish who can make friends with them and who can't.
Relatives are not unified, and there are three kinds of nine grades. There are differences between relatives and friends, between distance and distance, between those who know and those who don't know, and between good and bad. This requires not only the eyes, but also the heart. Otherwise, you made a mistake and you will regret it. Unreasonable, blind and savage relatives, infected with pornography, will never pay if they are cheated and corrected. Sending letters is extremely harmful, so be careful!
Specifically, I am used to being a villain, good at gossiping, face to face, behind my back, and a relative with bad character. No matter how good the surface is, I don't want to be intimate. I can refuse, I can avoid, I can stay away, but don't offend, don't be shy, I can suffer a little loss, make up on the surface, and be on guard and alert in my heart. Strong dependence, no ambition, laziness and inaction, always relying on relatives to help, asking for help, borrowing money to do things, only thinking about themselves, not thinking about others, not knowing how to repay kindness, not being grateful, not borrowing or helping, and turning against each other. It's natural when you lend it out, but you can't make friends with responsible relatives. You can't make friends with greedy, jealous, snobbish, selfish and bad-tempered relatives.
Due to various factors, we have to say that some relatives may not be as good as ordinary friends and neighbors. There is also a saying among the people: "No matter how good a relative is, there are three things that don't pay." Below, I will talk about which three kinds of relatives in this proverb can't make friends.
I believe that everyone may meet such relatives, saying that this relative is not good, that relative is not strong, or even out of thin air, and making up some lies to achieve a certain goal. I have a deep understanding of this and suffer from it. So I always treat such relatives and stay away from them with the attitude of "you go your way, I will go my single-plank bridge".
When everyone is in trouble, their money is not picked up for nothing. Individual relatives borrowed money repeatedly by virtue of their kinship, and then either didn't pay it back or paid it back less, as if you owed him in a previous life. Some relatives suffer from severe "borrowing amnesia". When you ask for it, he will say that the loan was repaid in a certain month, or that he didn't lend you the money, and so on. It is possible that you are wrong! When other relatives borrowed money, they all said that they had 100 yuan at home and didn't want to change flowers. Once they become flowers, they will disappear. More specifically, when I borrowed money, I said that I had just deposited 10,000 yuan in the bank! Do you want to be angry when you meet such relatives? Stay away from it! Don't touch it!
Relatives in all aspects are naturally good and bad. Some relatives have different attitudes towards rich and poor relatives. They are full of attentions and flattery to their rich relatives, but they are cold-eyed and bitter to their poorer relatives. For such snobbish relatives, my attitude is still far away from them!
I have to say that dealing with relatives is also a university question. Of course, the "three friendless" relatives mentioned above are very few after all. I always believe that the relationship between most relatives is still very harmonious, which is also in line with our family etiquette in China!
As the saying goes, it is a three-in-one relationship, and it is a fire-baked kang. It can be seen how lucky and precious it is to have relatives. However, some relatives are not worthy of association.
The first is those who don't know how to be grateful and filial to their parents. In this world, you don't love anyone who gives birth to you, supports you and loves you more than you love yourself, so people who have lost their moral bottom line can't pay.
Secondly, you can't make friends with anyone who is selfish and mercenary. A man who only thinks about how to get benefits from others, but has no money. Even when others are in trouble, they just stand by and gloat.
Then there is much ado about nothing all day, and you can't make friends with picky relatives. Some relatives should cherish their fate in harmony and friendship, and are not afraid of chaos in the world.
Stay away from these three kinds of people and grateful, kind and honest relatives, cherish the hard-won fate and warm your family with love.
China is a human society and attaches great importance to family ties. No matter how far you go or how high you fly, you can't leave the network given by clan and surname.
However, no matter how important the relatives are, they should follow some principles when communicating, otherwise they will only go further and further, or even die of old age. For example, the phrase "no matter how good a relative is, there are three things we don't pay" is telling us to stay away from some relatives.
What three kinds of relatives do "three don't pay" refer to? The first refers to not making selfish relatives, the second refers to not making gossip relatives, and the third refers to not making snobbish relatives. As for whether this "three don't pay" makes sense, just listen to three stories told by a book gentleman.
First, don't make selfish relatives.
Selfish relatives are relatives who only want from you, but never want to give. When you need his help, they pretend to have amnesia, or simply close the door and disappear, such as Dadong's uncle.
The big boss is in the countryside and my aunt is married in the city. However, as long as Dadong can remember, he found that his uncle had been moving things from his house.
Why use the word "move"? Because my uncle always takes a lot. In summer, I move vegetables basket by basket. Although Dadong and others can't finish eating, my uncle has moved enough vegetables to open a vegetable shop in the market.
In autumn, my uncle is exaggerating, and I can't wait to move all the wheat, beans, red dates and so on collected by Dadong's family. Dadong's father teaches in the town and his mother has a job, but he doesn't care much about these.
But everything at home is taken care of by my parents and grandparents. My uncle will take away a lot for no reason, and the home is more or less uncomfortable.
However, considering that they are all relatives and family after all, Dadong's parents didn't care too much. This kind of life is more than ten years.
Later, Dadong was admitted to the municipal key high school. Because there is no dormitory in the school, parents want to know if Dadong can stay at his uncle's house for a month until he finds a good house.
But when I arrived at Uncle Dadong's house, Dadong's parents stopped talking, and my uncle, who has always been accommodating, turned against me.
He thinks Dadong's parents want to use him. As a big boy like Dadong, he has to eat and drink. How much did it cost him? In addition, it is a waste of water to go to the toilet and wash your face every day. Dadong's parents are really rude.
What is more exaggerated is that my uncle didn't even leave them a bite to eat, and almost invited the Dadong family out of the house.
Just when Dadong's parents felt insulted and secretly sad, a neighbor in the village who bought a house in the city took the initiative to come to the door and said that his house was empty and Dadong could stay as long as he wanted.
Dadong's parents thought that he would help their neighbor just by borrowing his salary for one month, while their so-called relatives kept moving things from their own homes to support themselves, but they refused to even help a little. That's mixed feelings. More ironically, after the autumn harvest, my uncle came to move things again.
This time, Dadong's family didn't give him a good look, so Dadong's uncle had to leave angrily.
Second, don't gossip about relatives.
Gossip relatives refer to those relatives who always gossip behind people's backs, such as Macey's cousin and fat aunt.
Macey is a single-parent family, and her father died when she was ten years old. The villagers look at their poor orphans and widows, and always take time to help her family harvest fields during busy farming hours. Maybe the widow has a lot to do in front of her door. Macey grew up in a gossip, among which her cousin's fat aunt is the one who is most eager to chew.
Macey's mother is a cowardly woman. She never cares about that fat aunt. As for the fat aunt, it's getting worse. Someone in the village borrowed something from Meng's family, so she could make up a song "Zhang Sheng's Night Party in Cui Yingying" for you, and then spread it to the ears of the whole village.
Macey hated that Aunt Fat arranged such nonsense, but she never thought that she would be the heroine in Aunt Fat's mouth one day.
What? Macey didn't go to school in a big city. She just went to work, and the place where she went to work is also the unspeakable place.
Macey had no choice but to show off his college diploma in front of many people in the village. Now, Aunt Fat has nothing to say. However, when Macey and her boyfriend came home, Aunt Fat started a new round of gossip.
Macey must be a mistress. How can such a good man have a crush on her? What? That man must have a hidden disease. Otherwise, why don't you marry Macey? Macey's mother was very angry and cried many times. Macey couldn't wait to find you and argue with her.
However, such people, the more theoretical she is, the more energetic she is. In order to avoid the fat aunt, Macey simply took her mother away when she got married. Now, her ears are clean and the world is much brighter.
Third, don't make snobbish relatives.
Snobbish relatives refer to relatives who want to praise you to the sky when you are in the scenery, but want to distance themselves from you within one second when you are down and out, such as Xiu Xiu's own uncle.
Xiu Xiu's father is a businessman and his family is in good condition. Because my uncle has never had a stable job, Xiu Xiu's father often takes him out to socialize or something. He is half an assistant, but he is in charge of the total salary. Because of this relationship, my uncle has been very kind to the Xiu Xiu family.
However, something unexpected happened. When Xiu Xiu was in junior high school, his family's business suddenly went wrong, and Xiu Xiu's father went to prison because of economic problems. After the situation at home went from bad to worse, Xiu Xiu's uncle suddenly refused to visit again. Even his own sister begged him to help take Xiu Xiu to the hospital for an intravenous drip, but he refused to show up.
Later, after the court ruled, Xiu Xiu's mother wanted to raise some money to save her husband from several years in prison, but when she reached her brother's door, she didn't even go in. Xiu Xiu's mother was disappointed at the thought of her brother's behavior, and simply broke up with him. Later, Xiu Xiu's father's old comrade-in-arms helped her family. Not only did Xiu Xiu's father come out soon, but the business at home slowly returned to normal.
Who would have thought that at this moment, Xiu Xiu's once good uncle appeared again. Even, he ordered a flower basket and sent it to Xiu Xiu's home in an exaggerated way, although it was finally thrown out of the door by Xiu Xiu's parents. So you see, this snobbish relative is obedient to you for exposure when you are good, but when you are down and out, let alone contribute, even if he is compassionate, he is too lazy to pay a penny.
Well, the story of You Shujun is over. After reading the story, I'm afraid you have your own answer to the question, "No matter how good a relative is, there are three things you don't pay." In a word, it is good to have more relatives, but it is the same to make friends with relatives. There must be principles and bottom lines, and the essence is not expensive ~
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Even the best relatives, there are three kinds of people who don't pay. Distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors, and close neighbors are not as good as face to face. This statement is very vivid. Close relatives are sometimes not as good as close neighbors. Why? Many novels describing plateau villages, such as Mo Yan's and Gao Jianqun's, will be praised first, but they are all evil, good and bad.
Don't be intimate with people who are related to you but look down on you from the bottom of their hearts. This snobbish relative wants to borrow money from him unless you are promoted and rich and seriously ill. He will scold you first and then give you nothing. Such relatives have no compassion and no love? There is no doubt that there is, but only for people with money and status. Once such a person becomes a close friend, it is easy to die.
Gossip, upset, sow discord, don't be intimate. There is an old lady in the village who has been a relative for decades, but there is no door in her mouth. All day long, she either told my dad how my grandmother liked her son, or told my mom how her second daughter-in-law was dissatisfied with her, which made our family a mess for a while. Later, the family also saw that the old lady was afraid of chaos, and nine points were nonsense, so she just listened. You really can't make friends with such gossiping relatives, or you won't know when your family is separated, and you will be silly to thank her for being with you. I ... What's so special? ……! ! ! !
Greedy and cheap, selfish relatives can't make friends. Let's just say that there is an old uncle in the clan who has been wandering outside for decades. People who don't know think he made a lot of money and came back to build a house. In fact, the mouth is a set of things. The result is that there is not enough money to buy bricks. His house was borrowed from house to house by our relatives, and every brick and tile was the hard-earned money of relatives. Borrowing this word is actually giving away. He is lazy all day and lies at home. When he can pay back the money and has no money, he will go door to door to find food. In the worst case, he will borrow someone else's vegetable field to order. Borrowed vegetable fields became his. It's really bloody that this kind of relative has been passed down to eight generations.
The so-called proverbs are also created by most working people, reflecting people's life experiences and wishes! As the saying goes, courtiers are against heaven. In the past, especially in rural areas, people who didn't have dozens of relatives were afraid to speak, so there were more families with the most surnames, and it didn't hurt to have a few relatives. There are so many only children now, and there are not many contacts after three generations. Most of them are still wandering. How many relatives can they have around them? No one is perfect, and no one has a few friends who like to take advantage of small things. They get along well! Is it because a relative has taken advantage of you that he will die of old age? As long as people are good at using small things, it's no big deal, just know! As far as things are concerned, I know what kind of person that is. Friends are the same, just care about each other! There weren't many relatives. Can you tolerate not being in touch with each other?
China used to be an agricultural society, and most people lived in the countryside. In the past, the countryside was a relatively closed society. Because I am busy farming all the year round and live a self-sufficient life, it is a small-scale peasant economy. There used to be a saying that "the small-scale peasant economy is like a grass, which will fall when the breeze blows", so a family needs the help of relatives in everything. In the old society, relatives usually went to a village or a neighboring village, so they could help each other. Otherwise, when the traffic is backward and the roads are rugged, walking is the main way. If the conditions are good, riding a donkey and riding a carriage will not help. . In the past, it seemed important to help relatives, but there were always some people who could not afford it. If you associate with them, their family style will be affected and maybe their family will be defeated.
Don't pay unfilial people. China's traditional culture attaches great importance to filial piety. China used to be an agricultural society, and there was no social security for thousands of years. People have worked hard all their lives, and the job of getting up early and getting greedy for the dark is to support their families. At that time, we paid attention to raising children to prevent old age. If we work all our lives, we will grow old and our son will grow up and be filial. This is not only a sad thing, but even impossible to live. Therefore, all previous dynasties attached great importance to filial piety, and even formulated strict laws to punish hell to pay for unfilial people. In the folk, people also hate unfilial people, and even their relatives are unwilling to walk with them.
Those who refuse to eat, drink, go whoring and gamble on cigarettes. Rural people call people who love eating, drinking, whoring, gambling and smoking loafers. "Eating" means being lazy, wanting to eat well but unwilling to work, not that people eat too much; "Drinking" means drinking all day, watching plays and listening to music every day; "whoring" refers to looking for a woman or visiting a kiln in the village; "Gambling" means gambling. In the past, the gambling methods in the village mainly included holding dice, pushing Pai Jiu and playing mahjong. "Smoking" refers to smoking heavy cigarettes, not people smoking and dry cigarettes. Because they love eating, drinking, whoring, gambling and smoking, no matter which one will be defeated, most villagers in the old society are unwilling to make friends with them, and even their relatives are unwilling to associate with them.
3. People who refuse to pay or repay loans. It used to be said that killing people to pay debts, paying debts and killing people to pay for their lives are juxtaposed, which shows that people hate people who owe money. People also say that it is not difficult to borrow it often, pay it back often and borrow it again. The old society was dominated by small-scale peasant economy. If people borrow money and don't pay it back, it will affect their livelihood and even make them fall into poverty. Therefore, even between relatives, they are reluctant to lend money to people who don't pay back.
In the past, the last thing rural people wanted to pay was the above three kinds of people, and even their relatives were unwilling to associate with them.
Selfish, you have a good life, and he is eager to get a piece of you; You're unlucky, so stay away lest you ask him what to pick up.
Relatives are also divided into distance and good or bad.