No marriage with the same surname: In traditional Chinese marriage customs, marriage with the same surname is not allowed. "Zuo Zhuan" says: "Men and women with the same surname will not have a common birth." This was not unreasonable at the time, because the population at that time was small, and people with the same surname were not allowed to marry. There is inevitably a blood relationship. But today, thousands of years later, Taiwan still maintains this traditional concept, such as the three surnames Zhou, Su, and Lien, the three surnames Chen, Hu, and Yao, and the surnames Xu, She, and Tu Wang. , as well as the two surnames Xiao and Ye Xing, and the two surnames Xu and Ke, also do not intermarry with each other, because they are considered to be born from the same ancestor.
Blind date
This is the first step in getting married, that is, under the arrangement of the matchmaker, the man and woman can peek at each other. If they are in love, they can get engaged. On the blind date, the matchmaker will accompany the man, his parents, relatives and friends to the woman's home. After sitting down, the woman came out to serve tea to the guests. In an instant, both men and women had a "shocked" glance, and the woman immediately returned to the room. Regardless of whether he likes it or not, when the woman comes out to collect the teacup again, the man will put the red envelope into the teacup. If the woman sees that the gift is a big red envelope, she will know that the man likes it, and she will take out sesame seeds, red dates, and peanuts to make tea for the guests. A blind date is a success.
Big wedding, small wedding and indoor wedding
These are three different old-style weddings. "Big Marriage" means "the official marriage of the Ming matchmaker", which is held in accordance with the traditional "six rites" procedures for weddings in China and other countries (according to "Rites·Shihunli" and "Book of Rites·Hunyi", the "six rites" of ancient Chinese weddings are: Nacai, asking for the name, Naji, Nazheng, asking for an appointment, personally welcoming). "Little marriage" refers to two types: "recruiting a son-in-law" and "recruiting a husband" (the widow remarries, and the man lives in the woman's house). "Indoor marriage" can also be divided into two categories: one is to bring someone else's young daughter back to raise with a small amount of bride price, and then marry her own son when she becomes an adult, and is called a "daughter-in-law" (called "child bride" in mainland China); the other is to bring someone else's daughter with a small amount of bride price. The boy comes back to be raised, and when he grows up, he marries his daughter, or marries a daughter-in-law from outside, and is called "Canglingzi" or "adopted son". The rituals of small marriages and indoor marriages are very simple. For example, the wedding of the "daughter-in-law" is usually held on New Year's Eve. After "circling the fire", the elders ask their sons and the "daughter-in-law" to enter the room together, which is considered to be the completion of the wedding. , officially became husband and wife. This custom is called "Tui Zuo Dui" in Taiwan.
The "big marriage" is much more grand, and generally follows the following five procedures: first, "asking for names", that is, "discussing marriage", men and women exchange Geng Tie, and ask a fortune teller to see whether the two parties are suitable for marriage. (Taiwan custom, it is taboo for couples to have an age difference of three or six years), that is, Hebayu. The horoscope is a piece of red paper 1 inch wide and 8 inches long, with the date of birth of the male and female parties on it. After exchanging the horoscopes, the male and female families respectively place the horoscopes in front of the ancestral tablets of gods and Buddhas in the main hall of their house, and burn incense and worship the Buddha. During these three days, if there are quarrels, thefts, damage to utensils, etc. in the family, it is considered an ominous sign, and the marriage will not be discussed. If everything is safe at home within three days, the man's Geng sticker will be sent to the woman's family. After the woman's family accepts it, they may ask a fortune teller or agree to get married.
In the old etiquette, when a man and a woman discussed marriage, the woman would ask the man's family to come up with a "character" (eight characters) through a matchmaker as a basis for finding out about the man. If the woman thought it was suitable and auspicious, she would marry him. Male and female students each write a music score and give it to the boy's family, otherwise the original will be returned and discarded. Some people also ask a fortune teller to tell their horoscopes. If the two people's horoscopes are not compatible, there is no need to discuss the marriage.
In the past, most people paid great attention to the horoscopes when getting married. The horoscopes had a very important influence on whether the marriage was successful or not. According to the old custom, the characters on the horoscopes must be an even number. If it is an odd number, try to increase or decrease the number. There is an even number, so the writing of eight characters generally has a certain format. After the male's name, add the words "Qian Zao, such and such, such and such, such and such, such and such, such and such, such and such month, such and such, such and such, such and such, such and such, such and such, such and such day, such and such, such and such time," and other words. The same goes for women's names. Write the name and then add " "Kun made a certain year, a certain month, a certain day, a certain time, and Rui was born." The two characters "Jian Rui" are used flexibly to make up an even number. This is what is commonly known as "marriage boy". The fortune teller combines the names of both men and women. The eight characters combined into one post are called "combined marriage".
The first time is "delivery", that is, making an "engagement contract". The man is accompanied by a matchmaker to the woman's home and gives gifts such as gold and silver jewelry, and the woman gives gifts in return.
Then there is "Wanpin", also known as "Dapin". Accompanied by a matchmaker, the man will send the marriage certificate and bride price to the girl's family, and the girl's family will hand over the letter to the matchmaker. This is the official engagement. After the engagement, the woman invites her to an engagement banquet. After eating, the man's relatives should wipe their mouths and leave quietly, while the woman should pretend to be uninformed and continue chatting. It is taboo to say "send off", "go by" or "goodbye", otherwise it will be unlucky. Because the words "send" and "go" in Taiwan often mean death and funeral, and "goodbye" reminds people of "seeing you again", which may lead to the trouble of "remarriage".
The fourth is the "request period", that is, the wedding date is decided. The matchmaker asks the fortune teller to select an auspicious day. The groom's family will send the "welcome letter" and "ceremony letter" with gifts to the girl's family, and the girl's family will Return gifts with books and clothes; the last step is the 'welcome', that is, the formal 'marriage'. Taiwanese folk weddings are usually held in the months of April, May, June, July and September. .
Because the word "four" in April has the same pronunciation as the word "death", and the word "five" in May has the same pronunciation as the word "wu", there is a risk of infertility if you get married in this month; June is half of the year, so in this month If you get married in this month, you are known as the "half-year bride", and you worry that you will not be able to grow old together; July is the "ghost month" in folk custom, and if you get married in this month, it is like marrying a "ghost bride"; and the character "nine" in September It has the same sound as "dog", so try to avoid it to avoid being called "dog bride".
On the day of the wedding, the customs are generally the same as those in southern Fujian, but there are also many unique customs: for example, when the bride gets into the sedan chair, the bride’s family will wave a bowl of water on the sedan chair to show that her daughter’s marriage is like “water flowing out”. ", hoping for a happy marriage and no divorce; a bamboo with roots and leaves (commonly known as "stepping green") is tied next to the sedan to pray for the happiness and peace of the whole family after the daughter marries her husband's family, and to express that the bride is the first bride. Marry rather than remarry; a one-meter sieve needs to be hung behind the sedan, which is said to "avoid evil and attract good luck"; not far after the sedan is carried, the bride must throw away a folding fan, handkerchief, key, etc., to indicate that she will never return to her parents' home; if she encounters other people on the road, For the sedan chair, the matchmakers of both parties gave each other artificial flowers. It is said that this can avoid the unlucky omen of "happiness clashing with happiness".
There are many specialties when the sedan chair arrives at the groom’s house, such as "passing the rice sieve". That is, after the bride gets off the sedan, a woman holds the bride with one hand and holds the rice sieve above the bride's head with the other hand. Nowadays, many modifications have been made. Use an umbrella to show that the groom is subduing the bride so as not to "break the evil" in the future; "step on the broken tile", that is, when the bride enters the house, she must forcefully break through a new tile pre-placed by the groom's family to show "breaking the evil" ("breaking the evil" in Taiwanese) Similar to "breaking tiles"); "crossing the brazier" means stepping over a brazier filled with charcoal fire, which means "auspiciousness" and the more prosperous the days go by. After completing these many tasks, you can then worship heaven and earth, enter the bridal chamber, entertain guests, etc. On the night of the bridal chamber, the bride cannot go into the kitchen to fetch water for bathing, and a girl must fetch water for her; a boy whose life zodiac sign is dragon or snake is chosen to roll on the wedding bed, wishing the newlyweds a child soon; when going to bed, the groom must take off his shoes They should be placed where the bride cannot step on them, and the clothes should also be placed on top of the bride's clothes. Otherwise, it is said that if unfortunately the bride steps on the shoes or the clothes are placed incorrectly, the groom will be afraid of his wife for the rest of his life. There are many reasons for this.
Guining
The bride will be accompanied by the groom to her natal home for the first time within a few days after her marriage, commonly known as "Guining". On that day, the newlyweds must be greeted by their parents' siblings; they must return to the groom's house before sunset. It is said that only in this way can they hope to have a boy. Before leaving, the mother's family will give a pair of chicks, commonly known as "Gonglu chickens". This pair of chickens must be healthy and disease-free. They must be a hen that is about to lay eggs and a rooster that has just learned to crow. On the wedding day, the parents pull two nine-foot-long red ropes, tie one end of the hen's feet, and the other end of the rooster's feet, then put them in a big new rice basket, and the bridesmaid looks like escorting a distinguished guest. brought to the groom's house. After entering the door, they are called "Granny's Chicken" or "Couple's Chicken", which is intended to wish the newlyweds a harmonious relationship and long-lasting love. The nine-foot red rope is a metaphor for "long time (nine)". When the bride enters the bridal chamber, the matchmaker or aunts and sisters-in-law quickly come forward to loosen the ties and put the "male-in-law's cock" under the wedding bed. At this time, the onlookers watch with excitement as if watching a wonderful show. It was the cock that came out first. It is the hen that appears first. In order to lure the chicken out, it is customary to scatter a handful of rice in front of the bed. If the "rooster" comes out first, the crowd will cheer: this indicates that the first baby will be a boy. If the "rooster" takes the lead, people will naturally follow suit. Auspicious words: Sir, my sister will recruit a younger brother. Everyone pushed the wedding to a climax in this joyful and auspicious atmosphere, which shows that the pair of chickens played the role of folk actors in the wedding. Therefore, this kind of chicken must be raised and cared for well no matter what. Even after natural death, the owner cannot bear to eat it and must give it a "rich burial". There is also a saying that it is feared that the daughter will forget her parents' home and let the chicken lead the way. When you get married, you will also be given two leaves of red sugarcane, which can be brought back to the groom's family to plant, so that the descendants will be prosperous and so on.