matchmaking
in China, the matchmaker plays a key role in folk marriage. China manners and customs have repeatedly emphasized the so-called fate that "there is no cloud or rain in the sky, and there is no media on the ground to get married". Both men and women have to go through a matchmaker to get married. The matchmaker can take the initiative to pull the strings for both men and women, or it can be entrusted by others to be loyal to others. After a man and a woman are successfully married, the matchmaker can receive some money, which is called a thank-you gift. The money is usually paid by the man. If a man goes to a woman's house, it will be paid by the woman, and sent to the matchmaker's house together with the chicken, duck, elbow, shoes and socks and cloth on the day before the wedding. The matchmaker must guide the next day to pick up the bride, calling it round media or initiating media and sending media. The amount of money for the thank-you ceremony is determined by the financial situation of the host family, and it must be sealed with red paper, which is called a red envelope or envelope.
Kissing each other
In ancient times, both single men and women had little chance to get close, especially women, who lived in boudoir. After the matchmaking, the man usually proposes to have a look. This kind of activity of visiting the woman's home for the first time under the guidance of the matchmaker is called blind date, commonly known as seeing relatives. The date of blind date is proposed by the man, and the time is decided by the matchmaker and notified to both men and women. Both parties should be prepared. The man should bring some gifts, not much, just to show his heart, so it would be better if he could impress the other parents' hearts. As protagonists, both men and women should try their best to dress properly and beautifully in order to win the favor of each other.
if the woman's parents want to entertain the man, it means that the man has got the consent of the woman's family. If the meal is delayed and the man is allowed to leave the house, it means that the marriage is about to fall through. China is a subtle nation in general. Of course, this kind of thing will not be said clearly. It depends on the man and the matchmaker. Of course, the woman may also "visit" the man's house, which is called "watching" in some places. If the woman's parents are unwilling to accept hospitality and insist on leaving, it shows that the marriage is difficult to succeed. At this point, of course, the man can't stay hard. The woman's parents accept the invitation gladly by looking at the man's family situation, or drink up the fragrant tea offered, and the outcome is of course happy.
Courtesy
Both men and women can perform certain marriage procedures after blind date, which is called "Courtesy". The matchmaker will send the man's birthdates to the woman and the woman's birthdates to the man at the ceremony. At this time, superstitious parents mostly ask fortune tellers to calculate the combination and disagreement between men and women. Close, the marriage continues; If you don't agree, stop here. Marriage is out of the question. After exchanging posts and matching the eight characters, the matchmaker will choose a good day to take the man to a "gift" engagement. "Gift-giving" is an important event in a wedding, and the person who takes the initiative in the marriage should send a generous gift to the other party. Different local customs have different gifts. In some places, gifts are required to include at least one pig elbow, two bottles of wine, one chicken and duck, one set of clothing for each other's parents, one pair of shoes and socks, and some things for girls. How much money to seal in the envelope and give the girl something for engagement are generally negotiated by the matchmaker with both parties in advance, and it is not up to the man to give as much as possible. After the ceremony, both men and women can agree on the date of marriage.
Timing
In China's traditional concept, the choice of wedding date is also very particular. People think that the choice of wedding date is related to the future happiness of both men and women. This activity of choosing an auspicious day is called "choosing a date" or "choosing an auspicious day". The task of choosing a date is generally completed by astrologers or fortune tellers, and parents with high educational level can of course look at the "imperial calendar" by themselves or make their own calculations. After the wedding date is decided, both parents can send out invitations and invite relatives and friends to attend the wedding. Marriage slips are generally delivered to relatives and friends personally by the parties to the marriage or their parents. After receiving the wedding documents, relatives and friends usually give gifts and write a congratulatory message on the gifts even if people can't go. In rural areas, gifts given to women are mostly in kind, such as boxes, cabinets, beds, quilts, clothes, materials, etc., and the giver does not have to wait until the invitation is delivered, because the parents of the woman have to decide the scale of the wedding wine according to the number of givers.
Shop
In ancient times, the day before the wedding ceremony, the woman sent someone to the man's house to build the house with him. This procedure was called "Shop". The things laid are different between men and women. Sima Guang's "Book Instrument III Wedding Instrument" said: "Beds recommend seats, chairs, tables and the like, and men should have them, and women should have them like felt mattresses and curtains." After the woman's house is paved, she must also press the house to prepare for the greenhouse. He also guarded the house with his trusted women and his servants who married women, and did not let outsiders into the house to wait for newcomers.
Face-opening
A process that a girl has to do one or two days before getting married is also called face-opening. At that time, please ask women with both children to twist each other with two lines to pluck the hair from the face of the woman to be married. In some areas, pulling again after marriage is commonly known as "pulling the face". In Zhejiang and Hangzhou, when a married woman opens her face, two pots of evergreen are placed beside her, both of which are wrapped in red paper for good luck.
wear velvet flowers
when a woman gets married, she wears an extra velvet flower on her head. The velvet flower is made into the image of a person by weaving grass, such as sending a child to Kirin. Because velvet flowers are homophonic with splendor, it means splendor. According to legend, in the Tang Dynasty, Yang Guifei had a small mole on her temples, and flowers were often inserted to cover it up. Because flowers were easy to wither, they were replaced by folk-made velvet flowers. Since then, people have followed suit and become a custom.
wearing phoenix clothes and crests
the bride's dress customs when she gets married. Feng Yi Feng Guan is a dress embroidered with phoenix dragon patterns and colorful ornaments, symbolizing good fortune and wealth. It was unique to ancient nobles, and later it was used by ordinary women, regardless of rank, and then it was spread to weddings, but it increased or decreased because of family wealth. In modern times, when urban men and women get married, the bride wears a veil easily, and the skirt is more than a foot long. When walking, the two children hold it behind, which is the result of the influence of wedding customs in Europe and America.
Eat and have a meal
On the wedding day, before the bride gets on the sedan chair, both men and women prepare banquets at home, and the younger generation will accompany the bride and groom to eat, which is called eating and having a meal. The bride wears a headscarf on her crown after having a harmonious meal, and is led by the hand to bid farewell to her parents and relatives. After that, the screen bearer and the candle bearer lead her to the left and right, and she leaves the cabinet and enters the sedan chair. After the groom has finished his meal, he should sit on the bed and not look out. In some areas, this ceremony is advanced to the night before the woman's wedding, which is also called "don't kiss the wine" and "farewell dinner".
barrier
the bride should cover it with a red scarf before getting on the sedan chair, and it can't be removed in the sedan chair. This is the barrier, also known as the hijab. After the man enters the bridal chamber, it can only be uncovered by the groom or the female relatives of the man's family, so that the people who congratulate him can look at the bride's elegant demeanor, which is called the hijab.
moving corn beans
when a woman is going to get married, she usually invites a venerable old woman to spread the rice and beans everywhere with a dustpan in her hand, and some places spread grass. Before the bride gets on the sedan chair, the sedan chair should be broadcast inside and outside. When the sedan chair arrives at the man's door, the bride should also sow it before getting off the sedan chair. This is called spreading corn beans. When the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber, and the woman is left and the man is right sitting on the new bed, the man's family will also sprinkle the grain beans and coins again, which is called spreading the account. One is that cereal beans can ward off evil spirits, and the other is to wish the bride an early birth by metaphor of plant seeds. This folk custom has existed in the Han Dynasty. In other places, peanuts and red dates are sprinkled, which means to have children early, and boys and girls should spend their lives together.
Wedding ceremony
When getting married, both men and women will kill pigs and sheep, and prepare to invite chefs, bridesmaids, bearers and other handyman. After applying for the job, these people should start work at the main house the day before the wedding and make preparations for the wedding banquet. The traditional wedding is generally that the female family prepares to get married in the morning and the male family holds a wedding banquet at noon; If it is a nuisance, the opposite is true. When everything is ready, Yanari, a male, plays the music with a cannon and sends a sedan chair to greet the bride. The matchmaker takes the lead, followed by the groom, bridesmaid, sedan chair, band and gift box team. The bride's family should prepare the wedding banquet before the sedan chair comes. A girl should comb her hair by her mother or sister, wring the fuzz off her face with silk thread, put on makeup, and call it "opening her face", then cover her head with red cloth and wait for the bridal sedan chair.
when the sedan chair arrives at the woman's house, it will be greeted by firecrackers and music. After the wedding procession entered the women's hall, the sedan chair landed and the groom bowed down to his parents-in-law, and presented a red wedding greeting note written in his father's name. Then the women's family had a fun party. During the dinner, the matchmaker and the groom should be careful, because there is an unwritten custom among the people in China. During the three days after their wedding, the peers and teenagers in their relatives and friends can ingeniously make up a few small comedies and play tricks on the matchmaker or groom, which are called "washing the media" and "hanging red", commonly known as "greeting new guests". The matchmaker and the groom should be tolerant of these little farce that can increase the happy atmosphere, and they might as well take a little revenge, but don't really get angry.
After breakfast, the bride and groom will bow to the bride's ancestors and elders under the guidance of the matchmaker, and then the bridesmaid can help the bride get on the sedan chair. Before getting on the sedan chair, the bride usually cries and marries to show her attachment to her parents and family. After the bride gets on the sedan chair, she plays music and firecrackers, and gets off the sedan chair to make a kiss. The band is in front, followed by the groom, who is willing to ride a horse if possible, followed by the sedan chair and other people to see the bride off.
You have to take another road to get married, so sometimes you have to take a detour, commonly known as "never going back". If you meet temples, wells, shrines, graves, big stones, big trees, etc. on the road, you should cover the wedding sedan chair to avoid evil spirits. If you meet another wedding, the bearers should try their best to make the sedan chair lift smoothly. In some areas, both the groom and the groom need to change corsage. If you meet a funeral, you should say, "Today is auspicious, and you have met a treasure!" " When the wedding procession is about to arrive at the groom's door, the man's family will greet it with firecrackers and music. The sedan chair is parked in front of the main hall of the groom's house. The bridesmaids invited by the male family are generally young and beautiful women. They have to lift the curtain of the sedan chair and help the bride out of the car. The bridesmaid comes forward to pay tribute. The guests scatter flowers on the groom and bride, usually replacing them with red and yellow scraps of paper, which will push the wedding to a climax.
meeting the bride
After the man married the bride, he began to decorate the place for meeting the bride in the man's room. When the sedan chair stopped in front of the hall and the maid of honor invited by the man stood in front of the sedan chair, the ceremony began. On the incense table, cigarettes are lingering and red candles are burning with high fever. Friends, relatives and functional personnel are in their positions. The two bridesmaids appeared as "praise" and "praise" respectively and began to pay tribute. The bride and groom began to pay homage to the bride after receiving praise and praise. The traditional ceremony is as follows:
Praise: The groom stands in front of the sedan chair.
praise: lift the sedan chair and the couple will start.
praise: the groom bowed and invited the bride.
praise: the bride and groom go to the front of the flower hall.
praise: the bride and groom are in place before the incense table. Play music and fire guns.
Tongzan: The bride and groom offer incense to the gods and ancestral tablets.
praise: kneel down and offer incense sticks. Light a candle, burn incense, burn incense, store it, wake it up, and reset it.
praise: kneel, kowtow, kowtow again, kowtow three times ...
then the traditional three worships-one worships heaven and earth, the other worships parents, the husband and wife worship each other, and finally the bridal chamber is introduced. This is the end of the ceremony. At present, there are several steps in the ceremony:
(1) The wedding ceremony begins.
(2) The bride and groom and the guests are seated.
(3) present flowers to the bride and groom.
(4) fire guns and play music.
(5) The witness reads the marriage certificate.
(6) Speech by the officiating party.
(7) Introducer's speech.
(8) guest speeches.
(9) The bride and groom bow three times to the officiant, witness, introducer and guests.
(1) The bride and groom bow to each other.
(11) The bride and groom exchange gifts.
(12) The process of the bride and groom falling in love.
(13) performances by the bride and groom.
(14) The bride and groom enter the bridal chamber.
(15) guests open the table.
Wedding reception
According to the traditional customs of China, the layout of new houses is also very particular.
put a cross-section on a couplet in front of the hall (1).
(2) A square lantern is hung high in the middle of the hall, and the four sides of the lantern are painted with the patterns of "Husband and wife singing together", "Guanyin seeing off children", "No.1 scholar" and "family fun" respectively.
(3) A pair of huge red candles on the incense table.
(4) Stick a picture on the opposite wall on both sides.
(5) On the "Golden Wall" of the new house, six characters "Heaven and Earth, Kinship and Teacher Position" are pasted, and written straight from top to bottom. The writing of these six words is particular: the sky should be flat, that is, the two horizontal lines of the word "flat" should be written flat and cannot be distorted; The ground should be wide, that is, the word "ground" should be written wider, not too narrow; Jun does not speak, that is, the word "mouth" of the word "Jun" should be completely closed, and no gap can be left; If you don't close your eyes, that is, write the traditional word "〓", and the word "〓" on the right can't seal all the last horizontal lines of the word "mu" above.
A pair of couplets is posted on both sides of the door frame of the new house (1), and the words "Husband and wife and Ming" are generally written in the horizontal batch.
(2) Put a big red double happiness on the door.
(3) lanterns are hung in the middle of the new house.
(4) Paper-cut big red double happiness characters are pasted on the windows, and paper-cut butterfly patterns are pasted on the four corners.
(5) Put couplets on both sides of the window.
(6) calligraphy and painting are hung around the wall.
A pair of couplets in the main entrance of the kitchen is cross-marked, and the word "hi" is pasted on the door.
other details, such as putting a word "hi" on all room doors.
After both men and women pay homage, the bride will never come out in the new house. The groom will go out of the new house to receive the guests. For example, in hotels and wine houses, both husband and wife have to go out to meet the guests and propose a toast to them. Seats at a wedding banquet should be arranged according to the seniority of the guests, which is called "treat" or "hanger-on". The principle of seating arrangement is to respect the upper and lower, and respect the right and lower the left. Guests are ranked from high to low according to their age, status and status.
the chairman should be placed in the center above the hall, and the "elder relatives" (also known as "elder relatives" and "senior relatives", that is, the bride's uncle, father and uncle) should be seated in the first right seat, and the groom's father or uncle should be seated in the first left seat, and the rest should be seated according to their seniority. In addition to the main seats in the main hall, a second distinguished seat is placed in the new house, and the bride's mother is invited to sit first, accompanied by the groom's mother or aunt. The seats of other seats should also be arranged in the order of precedence.
when the seats are arranged, the groom should go to the chief to pour wine and make a toast, and then begin to serve the first course. All tables and drinks should be the same, except for the seats where the "male relatives" and "female relatives" are located, as usual, there must be a steamed pork elbow. Moreover, the groom should always wait at the table, pouring wine, serving rice, sending hot towels, etc. to show respect.
After the wedding reception, the "senior" retired from the room to have a rest, had some snacks, and was accompanied by the man's elders to say some polite words. When the handyman removed the table and swept the floor, the senior should get up and leave. When leaving, the man should "send away" clothes, shoes and socks, and pay attention to red envelopes. "Seeing off the big kiss" is another lively scene. All decent people in the family should be sent to the door, and firecrackers should be fired to show their respect. The groom and his parents should see the guests off to the village entrance.
to have a wedding banquet
The custom of having a cup of wine began in the Zhou Dynasty. "The Book of Rites Faint Instrument" records: the couple * * * eat while in prison, and hold together. In fact, cutting a gourd into two scoops is called "cutting". When a wedding ceremony is held, each side of the bride and groom gargles with wine, which is called "tying the knot". Therefore, people take marriage as a synonym for marriage. This custom evolved into "drinking a glass of wine" later.
Candle Night
In ancient times, most candles used in weddings were painted.