1. Why is the belly of a penguin white? Because penguins have short hands, they can only bathe from the front. 2. The rooster went on a business trip for a month. When he came back, he heard that the quails came to play with the hens all the time! The rooster began to doubt the hen! Sure enough, within two days, the hen laid a quail egg! The rooster is furious! The hen hurriedly explained: "Damn, it's premature!" 3. The centipede went out and was accidentally bitten by a snake! In order to prevent the poison from spreading, the limb must be amputated immediately! The centipede comforted itself: "Fortunately, it has many legs!" The doctor also comforted: "Yes, brother, be more open-minded, you will be an earthworm in the future! 4. The spider found a caterpillar on the tree. It was too small and had no appetite. . When I went to see it a few days later, a beautiful butterfly flew out. The spider quickly said: You kid, you want to use a beauty trick to lure the tiger away from the mountain? 5. A butterfly broke its wings, but it still flew away. Why? ……………… Because it is very strong 6. There was a grenade. One day after it finished eating, it cleaned its teeth and suddenly found a thorn in the middle of the teeth. It pulled it out with force, and it exploded. One day, an eggplant was walking on the street and suddenly sneezed hard. He wiped his nose and said angrily: He is taking a group photo again! 7. There is a person who likes to talk on the phone very much. One day, there was a man who felt his feet were sore while walking. When he looked down, he stepped on a lemon. 8. There was a hedgehog who was paddling in a rubber boat and drowned. --- ----- Let me tell you a funny story~~ A chicken slid down the mountain... This is a funny story--------9. One day a man was watching TV at home , when I saw the woman, I heard a knock on the door, so I opened the door and saw a snail. The snail said, "Can you give me a glass of water?" The man was very angry and kicked the snail away. A few years ago, the man heard a knock on the door while watching TV at home. When he opened the door, he saw the snail again. The snail said: Why did you kick me just now? 10. Xiaohuamei said to her mother, "Mom, I won't do it today." I feel so comfortable that I don’t want to go to school... Mom said it’s not comfortable there? Xiaohuamei said, I don’t know why I always feel sour all over my body. ------------- 11. There was a meat bun, and one day it Went to drink, but it was drunk, so it vomited while holding on to the telephone pole, and as it vomited, it turned into a steamed bun -------- Rene Liu chased after Jay Chou, but was severely rejected by Jay Chou in public! Said: ...Milk tea... I only like Youlemei ------- 12. A bird farmer taught a parrot to speak, and taught it to say: Good morning every morning! After a few months, the parrot still didn't speak. One day, the man was in a bad mood and without saying hello, the parrot yelled: "You are so awesome today, and you didn't even say hello!" 13. What did the three children say when they were chatting together? The most poisonous thing! Child A: "Mosquitoes are the most poisonous. My brother's hand was bitten by a mosquito and it was red and itchy." Child B: "Wasps are the most poisonous. My brother was stung on the face by a wasp, and it is still swollen and painful." Child C thought for a long time and said, "I don't know what hit my sister. Her belly is swollen and round!" 14. One day, a sparrow said to the pigeon: "Do you dare to shoot an eagle?" "Of course you do." After saying that, the pigeon flew away. After a while, the pigeon flew back with no feathers on its body. . The sparrow asked: "What happened?" The pigeon said: "The boy was not convinced, so I beat him with my bare arms." 15. One day, the bird flew from Kaohsiung to Taipei for an hour. But it took 2 hours to get back! WHY? Because it was raining! So you have to cover the rain with one hand and fly with the other. 16. There were three little tadpoles. They went to a restaurant to eat... After waiting for a while, the first dish was served... It was fried frogs... The three little tadpoles sang in unison: I don't want to, I don't want to, don't want to grow up. ..17. The hunter was hunting and saw two birds on the tree. He raised his gun and shot down one, and found that it was a hairless one. Just as he was wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: Damn it, I just coaxed her to do it. She took off her clothes and you knocked her down. . .
18. One day the hen flew up to the roof, and the owner angrily said, "Come down, or if you don't, I will kill all the roosters here and make your life worse than death." The hen laughed and said, "Finally we can go find the ducks." 19. The most terrifying dream when I was a child was that I was looking for the toilet. The most terrifying thing is that I found the toilet before I woke up. . . 20. The goose asked the mother goose: "Why do you call daddy Huang Ama?" The mother goose said to the goose: "Because I am your goose mother." 21. Rene Liu's courtship to Jay Chou was rejected, Rene Liu asked Jay Chou why ? Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like Youlemei. 22. One day, Doufu was wandering on the street and met Vinegar. Doufu said jokingly: "It smells so sour. Are you trying to incite other people's feelings again?" When Vinegar got angry, he mixed Tofu with it! 23. A mosquito comes into the city and it makes you very hungry. Seeing a young lady with tall breasts, she dived in and bit into her mouth. As a result, her mouth was full of silicone. She looked up to the sky and sighed: "Oh, food safety is such a problem! Where can I find safe milk?" 24. The hen complained to the bull. : "Humans ask me to lay more eggs, but I plan my own family planning. This is so unfair!" The old bull said: "What the hell are you doing? People all over the world drink my wife's milk, who the hell calls me daddy!" 25. The car married the train, but soon they divorced. Everyone asked the reason, and the car said sadly: "He worries about me getting hit every day, and I am always afraid that he will cheat on me. I can't stand it!" 26. Question: A puppy died while traveling in the desert. Ask him who he is How did you die? Answer: He suffocated to death because there were no telephone poles to pee in the desert. Question: A puppy traveled in the desert and found a telephone pole, but still suffocated to death. Why? Answer: "No urination allowed here" was posted on the telegraph pole. Question: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There was nothing posted on it, but it still suffocated to death. Why? Answer: Many puppies were waiting in line and didn’t wait. Question: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There was nothing attached to it. Even though he was in line, he still suffocated to death. Why? Answer: Because there are two beautiful dog girls behind him, and he is embarrassed. 27. The fox and the kangaroo went to the supermarket empty-handed. When they came to the supermarket entrance, the security guard let the fox in, but they would not let the kangaroo in under any circumstances. The kangaroo asked: "Why?" The security guard said: "You have to deposit your bag first." 28. There used to be a man who never washed his hair. Later, there was a thick layer of ash on his head, and then a seed fell on it. Above his head, it rained, and the seeds sprouted and grew into a big tree. It was good to have a big tree, as it could block the sun and rain, but there were always a lot of birds on the tree, which made him very annoyed, so He pulled out the tree. After the tree was pulled out, there was a big pit on his head. It rained, and there was a lot of water in the pit. There were many fish in the water, and there were many people rowing in it. Then it got cold and the water When the ice froze, he was freezing to death. 29. The leader of the cannibal tribe got a disease, and the doctor said: "It is caused by eating too much meat. You should eat more plants." From then on, the leader of the cannibal tribe made a decision: not to eat ordinary people, but only to eat vegetable people! ! 30. The young priest was walking in the forest. A big bear suddenly appeared. The priest ran away desperately, and the bear chased closely. The priest accidentally stepped into a puddle and fell to the ground. In despair, he prayed to God: "Lord, turn this ferocious beast into a devout believer." Thunder and lightning flashed, and a miracle happened... ........ The bear knelt down in front of him, put his hands on his chest, lowered his head and murmured to himself: "Thank God for giving us a sumptuous dinner." 31 .A hen was comfortably incubating eggs. Suddenly, an egg popped out from under its butt. The hen asked in surprise: "What's going on? Why did you run out?" said Little Dandan. : "You.........you.........you farted!" 32. A little The turtle blinked secretly: "You know? I work in the kitchen of a high-end hotel." "You're talking nonsense again!" the mouse laughed. "I won't lie to you," the turtle said seriously. "My bath water is served there." Let's make soup." 33. Ma Mian: "Lord Hell, the new kid guarding the oil pot hell is a pervert.
” King of Hell: “Oh? " Ma Mian: "Every time he pushed someone out of the frying pan, he would force them to hold him down in pairs. ” King of Hell: “Oh, I forgot to tell you, he used to fry fried dough sticks. " 34. One day, the exclamation point met the dash again, and he immediately laughed and said: Damn! With your body, you still want to fight with someone? Did you get pushed down? Dash was furious: Damn! I'm not as tall as you! But! , my waist is thicker than the three of you! The dog cried in the garden, and the cat asked him why he was so sad. The dog said: "Archaeologists found a large number of biological bones in the owner's garden, saying they may have been left by prehistoric creatures. ! Cat: "What does this have to do with you?" Why are you so sad? "The dog cried: "Those are my private money!" 35. In the freezer compartment of the refrigerator, a dumpling found a new customer. "Hi~ Tangyuan, when did you come? What kind of filling do you use for glutinous rice balls? "Hi, Tangyuan, is Yuanxiao your brother?" "Tangyuan, you look so white." "Tangyuan, why don't you speak?" "Hey, Tangyuan, do you feel cold?" Tang Yuan finally couldn't bear it any longer. He glanced at the dumplings and said coldly: "Food can't speak." 36. Miss Hair fell in love with Mr. Scissors and cried: "I really like you, why are you ignoring me?" "So Mr. Scissors ignored her.