When Confucius was 19 years old, he married Qi, a native of Song Dynasty
Guan's wife. According to Mr. Qian Mu's research, Qiguan's ancestors, like Confucius, lived in the Song State. Later, they moved from the Song State to the Lu State and settled in Qufu. After Confucius married Qi Guan, a son was born the next year. At that time, Confucius was well known in the Lu State for his intelligence, studiousness, proficiency in rituals and music, and his reputation as a saint. The news that Confucius gave birth to a son alarmed Duke Zhao of Lu. He sent someone to send a carp to celebrate. Confucius, who was only 20 years old, considered it a great honor for his king to give him a fish, so he named his newborn son Li, with the courtesy name Boyu.
"Pictures of Holy Relics" Named Rongkui
The record of Confucius marrying a wife and having children can be found in "Confucius Family Talk". Qing Dynasty scholar Cui Shi wrote "Zhu Si Kao Xin Lu", which believed that Confucius had not yet become an official at the age of 20, so it was impossible for him to have contact with the king. It was impossible for him to give birth to a son at this time, so he could not disturb Duke Lu Zhao
and gave him a gift. To the carp. According to Mr. Qian Mu's research, ancient kings and princes often gave gifts to their subordinates. It may be that the king of Lu enjoyed fishing. Confucius may have served the king as a scholar and gained the country
Your reward coincides with the birth of Kong Li. Therefore, Confucius did not necessarily enter the official career before the age of 20, but after Kong Li was born.
"Pictures of Holy Relics" Li Ting Chuixun
Kong Li was the only son of Confucius. Confucius attached great importance to his education, but he did not teach him anything special. Study together with his disciples and don't start a new one
. One of Confucius' disciples named Chen Kang expressed doubts about this and asked Kong Li: "Does Master have any special teachings for you?" Kong Li replied:
No. Once, my father was standing alone in the courtyard, and I walked quickly past him respectfully. He asked me: Have you studied poetry? I said: No. He said: If you don’t learn poetry, you won’t be able to speak. I then went back to study poetry seriously. Another day, my father stood alone in the courtyard, and I still walked quickly past him respectfully. He asked me: Have you learned etiquette? I said: No. He said: If you don't learn etiquette, you can't stand in society. I will go back and study etiquette seriously. Father
These are the only two separate lessons my father gave me. After hearing this, Chen Kang said happily:
I asked one question and got three results: I know the principles of learning poetry, I know the principles of learning etiquette, and I know that a gentleman should treat his own son as he treats other people's children. The same attitude of treating everyone equally. Because Kong Li went to court twice, Confucius taught him poetry and etiquette by the way, and later generations had allusions to "court training", "court education" or "court education".
Kong Li seems to have made no great achievements in his life. "Historical Records: Confucius Family" records that Kong Li died at the age of 50, five years earlier than Confucius; after his death, he was revered as the second ancestor by the descendants of the Kong family. Because he was the son of Confucius, Kong Li was named "Marquis of Sishui" by the time of Emperor Huizong of the Song Dynasty. (Xu Dong)
A person’s growth is closely related to his parents’ education, so the ancients attached great importance to family education. Confucius had "court training" and Mencius' mother had "three migrations to teach"
, which are good stories about family education in ancient times. When a person describes that he has not received a good family education since he was a child, he often expresses his regret by saying that he has neither been a religious migrant nor heard court language
. Modern child psychology research proves that family education is crucial to children's personality formation and intellectual development, and maternal education is better than father's education. Mother's teachings often have a greater effect and influence on children than fathers.
A stone tablet to commemorate Meng’s mother’s three moves
Meng’s mother’s surname is not recorded in “Mencius” or ancient documents between the Han and Song dynasties. In the Jin Dynasty, some people called her the Li family. Later it was renamed as Zhenshi. Mencius's mother is known as the motherly educator
and is a model of maternal education. According to Liu Xiang's "Mother's Biography", there are two typical examples of Meng's mother educating her sons. One is the famous "Three Moves to Godson"
: The place where Mencius' family first lived was not far from a cemetery. When Mencius was young, he often went to the cemetery to play and imitated games like repairing tombs and burying coffins. Meng's mother said: This is not the place where my son lives. So I moved my family to a place near a market. Here, Mencius often imitated the way of hawking businessmen. Meng's mother said again: This is not suitable for my son to live. So we moved for the third time, moving our family near a school.
Mencius watched and heard it at school, playing with Zudou ritual utensils during games, and learning the etiquette of bowing, giving way, and retreating. Mother Meng said: This is a suitable place for my son to live! ?