You are affectionate
She is indifferent
Already ringing in the autumn evening
Waiting for the geese to pluck their feathers
Don’t be too orthodox, don’t write according to the rhythm of ancient poems. It’s too literary. Once you don’t understand it, you have to think about it for a long time. It’s better to be humorous. Girls now like men’s humor. It's too poetic and makes the girl think you are being mysterious and pretending!