1
I had a big fight with Zhu. His chest fluctuated violently, obviously his anger was not light, and his lips trembled slightly. His selfish indifference and my departure from the classics often made our relationship on the verge of disintegration. I didn't like him and he didn't like me. "You are not qualified to teach me a lesson," he said with a voice.
I pulled up the suitcase I had already prepared, pushed away the coquettish bitch standing in front of me who was almost my age and wanted to be my little mother, and slammed the door. That was the sound of breaking my ribs. I didn't have tears, and my heart was even more determined. It was also because my mother in my hometown was not worth it. Goodbye, never see you again, and never come back anyway.
2
I found a small house at the other end of the city, sharing a single room. It only has a simple single bed, a small wardrobe and a pair of tables and chairs. Although it is small, it is good to have a small balcony facing south. When I came, the small house was covered with sunlight, and I needed sunlight, just like plants need photosynthesis.
I put the things in the box in order. I have so few things, just a luggage case, as if I were ready to lift my feet and leave at any time.
I went downstairs and bought a mattress and basic daily necessities. This small space that belongs to me is clean and tidy with a touch of warmth.
The residential area is on the edge of the Fifth Ring Road, with the design of Lingnan architectural style. Every household has a semi-circular landing balcony, which is mainly for viewing, although there is no considerable scenery. The green coverage rate is relatively high. In the southernmost part of the community, there is a wide Tonghui River. In the north of the community, there is a university separated by a main road, steaming. < P > I am standing on the balcony, and the afterglow of the sunset is all over the community. The green plants below are floating with a layer of orange light, which is harmonious. My shadow is cast on the ground, turned a corner and stuck on the wall.
3
At the beginning of the lights, a long car was blocked on the Beijing-Nantong Expressway behind, and the lights were connected in a line, perhaps all the way to the place called home.
stalls of fly snacks are set up at the gate of the community, and university students are coming in and out of the community one after another. There are more baby strollers in the square at the door, so I have no intention of being lively and slowly go away with the rhythm of the square pie.
I walked to the bank of Tonghui River, where only a few cars roared by occasionally, and the lights went out in front of my eyes. The wind blew and I felt comfortable with the wet smell in the river.
A couple walking by are whispering. The distance of a residential area, one north and one south, the street lamps are far apart, and the whole road is dim, but it is really quiet here.
I wandered aimlessly along the river bank, and I had no direction. I was more sad than dying in my heart, and where to go, far and near, was all in front of me.
4
He stared at me, his eyes were bright, and the secretions around his eyes were mixed with dust, and his nose was covered with a black ring, which was yellow and yellow in little ass. At first glance, he couldn't take care of himself. He was only the size of my palm.
I met him on the bank of Tonghui River just now and brought him back.
This is a dirty little white cat, and its fur is neglected and flamboyant. He stood on the table and I sat on the stool, next to a handful of cat food I just bought from the supermarket downstairs, soaked in milk. He licked the milk with his pink tongue and accidentally stuck his nose in it. He was so small that he couldn't lick the milk neatly. He choked a few times and stopped eating. We just looked at each other. His mouth was open and there was no sound.
I picked up a shoe box from the corner of the kitchen, patted the dust, spread a towel, made a nest for him, and put it by my bed. I put him in it, and he didn't scream or make trouble. I slept well that night.
The next day, the setting sun filled the community. I held him, to be exact, with him in one hand and the small bag of cat food in the other, and came to the holly tree at the corner of the riverside community, where we met last night.
I saw him at a glance in the dim light. It was a small, white ball. When I approached, my mouth opened and closed, and there was no sound. I thought he might have been separated from the mother cat. I waited with him for a long time, or it was just the two of us, so I took him back.
I scattered a handful of cat food under the holly tree, and stood there at a distance to see if he had a direction to go home or if there was a big cat coming. He walked a small circle on the grass inside Holly, and the small grass was longer than his legs. Every step he took, he raised his legs so high that he was submerged by the grass, revealing only his fluffy white back and his tall little head, and his small ears stood upright.
It wasn't long before he returned to the holly tree, sitting on the ground with his butt and his front legs on the ground, looking at me from a distance. I looked at him and walked over. The breeze blew and I stood with my back to the sunset.
He came and walked around my feet, and sat down in the posture of just now, next to my ankle. In the sunset, Pippi and I had a long shadow stacked together. His shadow was longer than my knee and snuggled up at my feet. We were like the only ones in each other's world.
I named him Pippi.
6
He is so dirty that I dare not give him a bath. It is too small. He doesn't like cat food very much. I told him that it's a Hope brand and it's very expensive. He is no longer picky about food. Every time he opens his mouth, he just can't make a sound. I think he must have lost his voice when he was looking for his mother, and he had no support.
I changed a soft nest for him and put a stool on it, flush with my bed.
Every night before going to bed, I will hold him in my arms, touch him, and then put him back. We will sleep on each other's pillows and listen to his purring voice. I am full and sweet to sleep.
6
F appeared in my life, and Pippi grew up healthily. He slept in his childhood nest, and now it's just full. He loves to show his belly when he sleeps, and he is sprawled, which is particularly uncanny.
Pippi will still purr when I touch him, but I have never heard him meow.
Pippi's estrus is also jumping up and down, scratching at the wall and scratching at the door. I can't bear to sterilize him. I said whether I should take you to do it or let you go out. I opened the door and he jumped on my desk and looked at me eagerly, becoming a good boy.
actually, I didn't really want to let him go. I can't bear to part with it.
When Pippi first met F, F tried to hug him. He scratched three marks on F's hand, jumped down and ran away, with his ass facing F. I scolded Pippi. F says it's okay. He's probably timid.
Later, every time F came, Pippi was cold and arrogant, jumping on the balcony and looking into the distance. Pippi didn't like F. Will he still be jealous? I laughed at him silently.
No wonder, the book says that their master is all to them in their short life. I like being everything to him.
F said, Pig, please move to my place. Your place is too small, and I will feel bad. I smiled, my heart was glad, and I felt that fate was still kind to me.
For Pippi's birthday, I took him to the holly tree and asked him if he remembered it. He jumped down and made several rolls on the grass. For him, the grass when he was a child turned back into grass. He was big and strong, with a white and bright coat and a thick layer, and had a plump and juicy posture.
Although Pippi has been abandoned, he is not afraid of the outside world. I know he is not timid at all.
When he returned to the house, he contentedly ate three boxes of canned cats with three flavors. Well, he was so headstrong. Happy birthday to you
7
F Come and help me pack my things and prepare to move to his place. Pippi still sits proudly on the balcony and looks at the distance.
I said, Pippi, I'll buy you a luxury villa to live in when you go to Uncle F's, so you can have more room to play.
F stopped and said, are you taking that cat with you?
That's Pippi. I'm a little unhappy. I don't like people saying Pippi is the cat.
F said that there are a lot of leather furniture at home, and he would lose his hair again, or else …
Pippi has a cat scratch board, and he won't scratch. I didn't wait for f to finish.
Don't worry, Pig. I want to avoid putting Pippi in the pet foster center. There is one near my residential area. It is well cared for. You can visit him at any time. I will accompany you … I throw my clothes on the bed and look at F with burning eyes.
F went home by himself. F is not my lover. I was shocked by my own actions and my heart was desolate.
When I met F, I was in the dark valley of the abyss, and my life was like rotten wood. I wanted to catch even a piece of hay. F came in like a ray of light, which made me hope to be warmed up, so that the extremes of his later work were automatically blocked by me.
I remembered that we were together. After he peeked at my diary, he called and asked me why I was partying with boys when I was with him.
I felt angry and humiliated. I was justified in reading other people's diaries. I said it was just a normal party. He didn't believe me and said nasty things, telling me to keep the bottom line.
who has no bottom line?
At dinner, I received a phone call from a male deskmate in a university saying that he would come to Beijing for business tomorrow, and that he would have time to sit down for dinner together. I haven't seen him for a long time at the same desk. He heard the voice of the man on the receiver jump, raised his eyebrows and shook his face, slapped me and called me a bitch.
In the morning, he touched my face and asked me if it still hurts. He told me that he was sorry. He cared too much about me. I didn't cry and my face was numb. I chose to block it. I only remember that there was temperature in his arms.
once when I was sleeping, my palm was stirred by something. I opened my eyes and saw him, but my heart thumped with fear.
He had my key and I don't know when he came in. He took my hand and drew circles on my palm with the tip of his thumb, which made my hair stand on end.
It's just dawn, and the exercise aunts and grandmothers haven't gone out yet. He sat in front of my bed doing this strange little gesture. He said that he spent the middle of the night cooking breakfast for me, and then got up to eat. I shielded my unspeakable fear and accepted his loving breakfast.
Once we were lying and whispering, the phone came.
He sat on the edge of the bed and answered the phone. I got up and put my arm around his waist from behind. He quickly bounced up, opened my hand and left me a glimpse. I hung there for no reason ... There were many others once, which were blocked by me.
I think about too many strange things, but I turn a blind eye.
But this time, perhaps his abandonment of Pippi knocked me to a desolate place in my heart. I didn't move, broke up with F and got the key back. This is the only time I have been tough in front of him, just like the time I left home.
I hugged Pippi and said, I won't part with you. Pippi is my spiritual world.
is also my bottom line.
8
Next, I like to enter a spiral zone of terror, and the SMS WeChat QQ mailbox was exploded by him.
He sent a video saying that he wouldn't break up with me. He said that he would be crazy. He said that he wrote me a bloody book and put it in the mailbox at the door. He said that he would show it to me when he died. He said that he wanted me to join him. He said that he would ask me to compensate for his mental damage. He said that he wouldn't let me go ... crying and laughing for a while, saying that he couldn't live without me. I'm creepy again.
One call after another, the numbers are not the same, so I have to turn it off ...
What did I do wrong? I thought I was treated well by fate. I was really wrong. F may be a light, but I still stay in the dark valley.
I'm holding Pippi. His hair is warm, it's late at night, and it's quiet outside. It's time for deep sleep. Although there is a small balcony full of sunshine that I like very much, I think I still need to move to another place to live. There is pressure that I can't bear.
The sudden crash of the door is enough to make people out of their bodies in this silent night.
My heart is twisted together. Pippi is frightened and sticks his head up and ears up in my arms. His eyes are wide open, and the brown glass ball is getting bigger and bigger. This is his extremely alert state.
there was an impatient cursing sound in the room, and the knock on the door was still like a death warrant. No, it was F. How did he get in? The door was clearly locked.
I was so excited that I fell out of bed. Don't knock when I said F. I know it's you. Everyone else is sleeping. Then there was a rough and big curse from the other room.
F said outside the door, open the door for me.
I say you go back to rest quickly, stop it.
he said you answered my phone.
I turned on my cell phone and ran to the balcony. I said F. If I did something wrong, I apologize to you. We are not suitable. Please go back first. Let's all be quiet. I'm so scared …
I'm almost crying, almost begging him.
suddenly, I was caught in my hair by an animal-like force, and my scalp was about to crack. My head was thrown back and he threw me into the house.
F came in and the door was safe.
I was covered with fear, like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered. His expression was relaxed and he smiled as if nothing had happened, but I saw the smiling man in the light and shadow with a ferocious face.
One hand stuck in my neck, getting stronger and stronger, and my trachea was squeezed to break. I didn't know what else to do. His smile bared his teeth, neat and white. This smile was once the light in my life.
haha, I thought of him as light, and now I'm going to be swallowed up by this light.
My head is dizzy from lack of oxygen, and my eyes are getting blurred. I can't let go of Pippi, and I also think of my mother who is far away from home.
I dare not look at him, and I close my eyelids painfully.
9
Ah ~ Woo ~ ~ Woo ~ ~ It's Pippi, and his hair explodes, just like when I first saw him, his fluff floated in the air.
ah ~ woo ~ ~ heard Pippi's voice for the first time, loud and crisp, rich and prickly, full of fear of death, like a general, ready to meet a century war, he made the determination to die.
Obviously, F was shocked by Pippi, and the cat he remembered was a gentle and proud mute.
He didn't continue to exert himself, and I came back slowly with my breath. The three of us, to be exact, faced each other like this. The air was still and dignified, and F let go of me and slammed the door.
The blood accumulated in my neck instantly made me dizzy. I sat down on the ground along the wall with tears in my eyes, and then spun down, dripping big.
Pippi walked around me. He rubbed everywhere he could reach. At last, he sat next to me, as we did for the first time in the sunset. His front legs were straight, his paws with meat pads were bulging, and he was full of strength like a Spartan soldier.
Pippi helped me keep this pass in life. He is my angel.
1
I quickly found a house and moved out of there, far away, with Pippi.
But Pippi is not so good. He doesn't eat his favorite cat food. I bought a big box of canned cats with all kinds of flavors, which he couldn't eat. I forced it on him, and he bit his mouth hard.
He seems to have sucked away the man's rage, and the man let me go. He's not well. He's just a child.
I held him in the hospital for intravenous drip, and I wouldn't let go for a moment. Pippi didn't eat anything, his hair was no longer warm, his ears were sallow and his nose was cracked. I cried and begged the doctor to take care of Pippi.
the doctor said, girl, we just have to do our best.
But Pippi tried his best to protect me with his life.
I took Pippi home and put it on my bedside. I lay down on him, and he looked at me with his eyes open. The light reflected by the glass ball was green and cold all over me. I knew he was leaving.