1. Liu Bei: "Yuan Shao is a helpless dou!"
2. Princess: "Your Majesty, if this treaty is signed, our Qing Dynasty will become a semi-feudal and semi-colonial society."
3. Detective: "If it's suicide, then her motive must be that she doesn't want to live."
4. Chief: "We each carry 15 kilograms of explosives, that's all."
5. Man: I am an orphan, and my parents died before I was born. "
6. Woman:" Let's be friends. Sorry, I want to be lonely. "
7. Girl: "You took my first kiss again!"
8. Warrior: "That's the real master. Kill the Japanese machine gunner with one shot, 8 miles away."
9. Company commander: "Comrades, War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression has been seven years, and there is still the last year. Please don't give up!"
1. Woman: "My grandfather was brutally killed by the Japanese when he was nine years old."
11. Man: "I just want to blow up the plane with stones!" "
12. Uncle: "Son, your mother died before you were born."
13. Grandpa "Look, who's here? Your dead mother. "
14. Your Majesty: "You are the woman of Ling Wang. Say, what is your relationship with Ling Wang?"
15. Veteran: "It makes sense to turn the bullet, that is, the shooter's wrist shakes rapidly at the moment of the bullet chamber, which gives the bullet horizontal acceleration, thus forming an arc."
16. Man: "Youtong, Youtong, come out quickly, where are you? Youtong, you're finally out. Go back quickly. Someone wants to arrest you. No matter what happens, don't come out! "
17. Old man: "Why is there no word in this wordless gobbledygook?"
18. Great Xia: "Thank you, I have never heard a word of thanks in my life."
The new version of Meteor Garden, which has been vomited for countless times, has such a scene
The hostess loudly answers: Like!
Er, what's wrong?
Play back
Sister Jingxue clearly looks like this.
Draw it like this.
Tell me if you want to hack me.
Recommend two domestic TV dramas that are funny and have a stomachache. The characters and plots are lively and funny. Classic lines are everywhere.
In Happiness, please wait for me, Song Dandan plays the story of Wang Caihong bravely pursuing her career and happiness after her divorce.
"You're older than me, and you still call me elder sister. I'm here to do my hair all by myself, making it look like menopause. Like my mother, I'm not married yet. "
"One of the hundred things a woman will do in her life is to get divorced once. If you don't leave, how can you start over?"
"I really want to let this fart go early, but I really dare not tell the truth because of your temper."
Christina plays Luo Shalong in "The Muppet Girl Also Has Spring", who has a positive outlook on life for love.
"I'm still an artist, that is, the one who looks dark from a distance, grins at a close look and loses an arm. Luo shallot, you said that you have been keeping your eyes open for a long time, and you still find someone who can't eat. Later, you can't say who you two look like when you have a baby. "
Lin Feng: How about that? Lafite in' 82 ...
Onion: Is this wine out of date?
Lin Feng: Yes! This wine is out of date, so hurry up and spit it out ...
It's not good to just say the lines, it's funny to match the picture. Absolutely laugh to the rhythm of stomachache.
seeing this problem, I immediately became interested. First of all, I want to "tear" the popular life drama "Pi" not long ago.
This life drama with the college entrance examination as the background has a variety of lines, which has reached a new height. It is really eye-opening and can't help laughing.
Now, let's take a look at the famous sayings of the masters!
1. Lin Miaomiao
1. Heaven has reincarnation, and heaven has spared anyone.
2. One month, there are always 28 days when I don't want to study.
3. The spring breeze is 1 miles, 5 miles and 1 miles, and the physical test is 8 meters. There are two Wan Li under the sea, Dove chocolate, herb-flavored Baxi, cocoa brownies, durian jackfruit, cheese corn kernels, mashed potatoes in chicken sauce, beef tenderloin with black pepper, braised spicy chicken and braised pork ribs with vinegar, all of which are not as good as you.
4. There is a kind of coldness that makes your mother think you are cold; There is a kind of hunger that makes your mother think you are hungry.
5. I want the salted fish to turn over, but it sticks to the pot.
6. yes, he just didn't take the exam, and he couldn't even take the exam.
7. Of all the women in the world, why did you marry her and take me with you?
8. You are a little fairy, you can live in the wind and sleep on the ground, relying on photosynthesis, but I have always been on earth!
9. You adults have to stand on your own feet, and you can't always tolerate your children.
1. The plan can't keep up with the change, and the change is a joke.
2. Lin Dawei (mistress and father)
1. I am always ready to help others, unlike you, who judge a book by its cover. If I am beautiful, I have an ulterior motive. If I look ugly, I will just serve the people. It's called charity. Oh, then I've been giving you charity for so many years, and I should give back to the society.
2. Most of the children survived the boarding school tenaciously.
3. Children eat whatever they want at home, and children eat whatever they want when they are not at home.
Third, Wang Shengnan (mistress and mother)
1. Brother David, didn't you say you were going to give me a handout tonight?
2. Clear water produces hibiscus, while sewage produces sufu.
3. Your hair curtain is so thick, can you see the future?
Fourth, Qian Sanyi (Xueba)
1. If you read it, you may not remember it. If you remember it, you may not take the exam, and you may not get the right answer in the exam. I advise you to watch it while eating, and at least eat it.
V. Jiang Tianhao
1. There is a fish in the northern Ming Dynasty, named Kun, which is so big that it can't be stewed in one pot and turned into a bird. Its name is Peng, and it needs two barbecue grills, one secret and one slightly spicy. Another bottle of snowflake, let's brave the world together!
2. I like you, just like sine plus cosine, always the same.
Besides, there are many supporting characters whose lines are also interesting.
For example, this conversation between Lin Miaomiao and her teacher.
Lin: "Nothing, what can we two women do?"
Teacher: "The two women are much more capable. After seeing the condor heroes, age is not a problem. After seeing King Kong, race is not a problem. After seeing the ghost of a beautiful girl, life and death are not a problem. Then look at Brokeback Mountain. Is gender a problem?"
Teacher, you think too much ...
Well, that's all for today's inventory. You are welcome to have a good look at the play.
I am the light without inkstone, which will bring you more fun.
1. When you see this problem, you have to mention "Meters Bang Wei" in meteor rain!
Rain nettle: "Today, Duanmu took me to visit Metersbonwe Bang Wei, picked out a lot of clothes and shoes, and stood in front of the mirror. I didn't even know who that girl was ..."
It is said that Chu Yuxun's family opened a tea shop, and my uncle was a garden manager, although his family was not as good as those kids in the aristocratic schools.
I just want to know how amazing sports and casual clothes can be.
2. I must mention the first part of "Kiss of Pranks".
Yushu asked Xiang Qin, "Why did Lin Daiyu bury flowers?"
Xiang Qin asked, "Your girlfriend? How do I know why she wants to bury flowers? There is so much time. "
I really admire the scriptwriter's brain hole, which makes people laugh and cry.
Not much to say, as shown in the above picture.
1. Chen Qianqian: Young Jun, you want to open up a little bit. Although the child is not yours, the daughter-in-law is yours.
2. Chen Qianqian: He looks pretty. Wash him and send him to our house tonight. It's better to meet the Japanese tomorrow.
Touy: I've been suffering from heart disease since childhood. The doctor asserted that I would die at the age of twenty.
Bletilla striata: I'm afraid you've lost your favor.
Chen Qianqian: He's dying of illness. In that case, why don't you send him to my house while he's alive?
Bletilla striata: Wait, as the saying goes, a twisted melon is not sweet.
Chen Qianqian: Don't you just know if it's sweet or not? You are unlucky to meet me.
3. Chen Qianqian: You are very coquettish; You really deserve to be a young master of Xuanhu City. You are too tiger.
Touy: What does a tiger mean?
Chen Qianqian: I praise you for being handsome.
4. Touy: Do you suspect that I poisoned the wine?
Chen Qianqian: Is there poison in the wine, and you don't have any points in your heart?
5. Chen Qianqian: Your young husband can't even help to have a baby, so don't be picky.
6. Touy: Who dares to touch her? !
soldier: nobody wants to touch her, we want to touch you.
7. Chen Qianqian: Is everything ready?
Attendant: Everything is ready.
Chen qianqian: ok!
Attendant: No explosives.
Chen Qianqian: No explosives?
Attendant: No explosives.
Chen Qianqian: Without explosives, what can I use to blow up Fumai? I'll blow you up, I'll blow you up. Me? !
8. Chen Qianqian: Bunny is so cute, it's delicious to make it into spicy diced rabbits!
9. Chen Qianqian: What's the housekeeping sand now? What's left after the hole is opened? Your house guards the palace sand.
1. Chen Qianqian: It's useless to talk more. Anyway, I will prove with practical actions that I am cheap and easy to use. It's a pity that you are satisfied to death.
11. There are two faces here, heartless, shy and helpless, so you have to play them alone, right?
12. I'm just afraid of losing. I won't lose if I don't compete.
13. Shaojun, now that we are in an enemy camp, there are many dangers. Please think twice, and give those who made mistakes, especially me, a chance to make amends!
14. Guard: Take a dagger just in case. If anything happens to your young husband, it is most important to be innocent! Touy: If something happens with her tonight, who do you think is taking advantage of who?
15. In this world, only men and villains are hard to support.
16. Huayuan man, who says one thing and does another, says he doesn't play the piano, but actually practices hard and seduces women secretly. It's shameless.
1. The Legend of the Condor Heroes, Ke Zhene. Did you hold back?
2. Grandpa, the biology teacher will cry.
3. You are a cow, and the stone blows up the plane.
4. There is a line in the TV series "Outside the Building" that has become the "root of all evil". Fortunately, Sun Wuji, the arresting man, is illiterate and doesn't know what a pen name is.
5. Negotiator. Please respect my temperature.
6. Sister Beauty?
this is obviously a big man. Are costume dramas all a routine? Men dressed as women and women dressed as men can never be found out. Is it because the fog was too thick to see at that time?
7. Lines in Di Renjie. Isn't suicide because you don't want to live? Is there any other way to say it?
8. In "shaolin soccer", the lines that people lit the flames in their hearts were so funny.
"My name is Jiang Bao, and I have never given up my dream of becoming a great composer."
9. I didn't think wrong about Princess Pearl.
1. Chinese characters are extensive and profound.
11. Really? Come on.
12. In meteor rain, Chu Yuxun said the sea of clouds:
You are a pig, which can be extended to mean that you are a wild boar, a porcupine, a flower pig, a bare pig, a stupid pig, a Ukrainian suckling pig and a pig. . .
13. In Princess Pearl, Zhang Tie-Lin plays the role of Emperor Ama, which is also a master of killing people.
14. "Somebody, please step down!" Eunuch: ... "Emperor, do you know what you are talking about? Are you still sane?
15. The man said, "If you can, please light the gas tank." The man's thinking is still very fast, and this line is also very funny.
Finally, I think this money-saving ability is very suitable for me now.
1,
A Family with Children
Xiaoxue: My name is Xia Xue,
Xiaoyu: My name is Xia Yu
Liu Xing: My name is Xiahailu
2, Heroes of Sui and Tang Dynasties
Q: Who are you, old man? How many accomplices are there here? A: Here is a person.
q: eleven people? A: Not eleven people, but one person.
q: twenty-one people? ! Say, where are they hiding? A: You heard wrong, not 21 people, but actually one person!
q: seventy-one people? ! Do you think I am stupid? These 71 people, such a small place, can you hide? A: Fool, you heard wrong again. Here is a person.