1. I have a head full of beautiful hair. I’m here to give it away. I have short legs.
2. I am good and fun-loving, I am only handsome for three seconds, and I am a bit of a loser.
3. I am as ugly as you, I am poor, and I have a very bad temper.
4. I have athlete's foot, I am a fool, I am a pig.
5. I am a second-generation negative student. I was expelled for being ugly. I failed the class again.