More than thirty years ago, there was a man who had the same great-grandfather as my father. People in the village called him Big Boss. I called him Uncle (his name). This is the name of my hometown, and it is usually called this after three generations. His grandson and I are almost the same age and we play together. I always feel that he is very majestic and I dare not act presumptuously in front of him. He leads a lion gang that performs lion dances during annual festivals and practices some martial arts routines during the off-season. Sometimes he also teaches some of our children. At that time, I didn’t think he was anything special. Once when the village chief was elected, the result of the vote was the previous village chief. He disagreed and asked for re-election. As a result, he was defeated in the previous election. Although I was a child at that time, I loved the excitement and would watch the whole process.
After graduating from junior high school, I went to work in a nearby town. There was a group of bad guys near the factory who often came to the factory to beg for verbal favors from the female workers in the factory. The older ones in this group Once he asked me which village I was from, I said it was such-and-such village, and he said he knew so-and-so in my village. I said he was my uncle, and his attitude towards me immediately changed. He took out a cigarette and smoked it for me. About how familiar I am with a certain uncle.
Glory.
As I grow older, I gradually feel that Uncle X is a person similar to a patriarch. He can be involved in neighborhood disputes, family disputes, disputes with neighboring villages, etc. He can always be seen stepping in to handle adjustments. In the 1990s, with the changes in society, there were more and more wealthy people in the village. Rich people became the sought-after objects in the village. In addition, he was getting old, and he was no longer the talkative patriarch. .
The world has changed and people's minds are impetuous. In the past (from about 1990 to 2005), there were indeed a few respected elderly people in the village who could administer justice in the village, and what they said would be recognized by everyone in the village. Because everyone was poor in the past, there was no distinction, and few went out to work. The thinking was still relatively traditional, and respect for the elderly, the virtuous, and filial piety were passed down from generation to generation.
Nowadays, the world has changed. People in the village have gone to work in developed cities in the south or north. They make more money than before and have more knowledge. Every year when we go home, the most discussed thing is how much money we will make this year, who makes more money, and who is doing well. Rural people have become realistic, powerful, and impetuous, and they are no longer as simple, honest, and down-to-earth as before. If you are doing well outside, everyone will flock to you when you come home. If you are doing well, you will be alienated. For example, if you are having dinner parties, drinking, playing cards, going shopping in the city, etc., they will not call you to join you. We used to live together in poverty, but now we don’t keep in touch with each other very often. As time goes by, the rich will become more powerful, their words will be counted, and everyone will be willing to listen. As for the opinions of the elderly, almost no one listens to them.
As a person who came out of rural areas, I deeply feel this change. When I was young, my grandfather ran a paper mill in the village. The family had some savings and was very popular. I was able to wear leather jackets since I was a child, which made many children envious. The family conditions were relatively good. Later, the paper mill closed down. After 1995, everyone went out to work, and our family gradually declined. People who used to play cards with my dad every day and visit my house less often, and they all go to the so-called good families to play cards and drink. My parents worked hard to support me in college, but I was ridiculed at one time, saying that studying was useless and that I might as well learn martial arts, so no one would dare to bully me when I went out to work. Later, I came to Guangzhou to study for graduate school. Many of my peers had already built houses, got married and had children, but I still relied on my parents to support my studies. In the eyes of others, it was not cost-effective. I have worked for five years since graduation and have now bought two houses in Foshan, Guangdong. In the eyes of those people, I have become a wealthy person. I miss the life before where everyone had no suspicion.
In today's rural areas, money is all that matters. Wedding gifts are astronomical. Comparison is common, filial piety is lost, and morals are sinking. During the matchmaking process, the woman only cares about money. After she gets married, she is treated like a princess, and her parents-in-law support her in every possible way. These girls also believe that they should be raised and compared with each other. If they do not go out to work, they feel that it is embarrassing for them to make money. It seems that this will make people think that the husband cannot support himself. This situation is very common in my hometown, and I can't stand it.
Let’s talk about filial piety. Respecting the elderly and loving the young is a principle of human ethics, but now in rural areas, there are indeed many sons and daughters-in-law who do not fulfill their filial piety and drive their aging parents to live in a dilapidated hut. They live in a two-story building and live a prosperous life. They don’t lack this little money, so why don’t they let their parents live a better life? Don’t they remember the nurturing love they had and say that the boss (second or third) doesn’t care about me and I don’t care? Could it be that my parents have worked hard all their lives in exchange for this? The ending is really infuriating. There are definitely not a few people who do not fulfill their filial piety, and everyone is not ashamed of it, but proud of it. There is no shame at all. I didn't expect this, and I don't even want to go back to my hometown. There are too many cases like this around me.
In the past 20 years, the villagers have gone out, made money, seen the world, and become smarter. But the traditional respect for the elderly, the virtuous, and filial piety have been lost. No one was willing to listen to what the old man in the village said, and his prestige gradually disappeared. All this is heartbreaking. Here, I also hope that everyone will work together to save the current chaos in the countryside, interpret the new look of rural people in new ways in the new era, abandon bad habits, and regain virtues.
My brother-in-law got rich outside. When he came home and wanted to show off, he was slapped by the uncle at the head of the house. Now he won’t come back for the Chinese New Year. Brother Jiu went from Kunming to the city where he lived to discuss business. Thinking that they were all elders, he went to visit. He was mistaken for Da Qiu Feng. When he came back, he angrily said that he looked down on others with only a few million yuan. He didn't even dare to think that I had more money than him. .
The elders in the village have no prestige, mainly because they cannot help others, and now is an era where money matters. The weight of their words depends entirely on how much money they have. This trend has also appeared in our village in recent years.
My grandfather is an ancient and highly respected old man. He is 93 years old and still in good health.
Grandpa lost his mother when he was 9 years old. Great-grandfather made the decision to marry grandma when he was 13 years old. In the old society, the life span of "people" was not long, so grandparents got married. A few years later, my great-grandfather also drove to the west of Hexi... leaving his grandfather and grandmother who were sixteen or seventeen years old to live. I heard from my grandfather that his cousins ??took care of him at that time.
My father and eight sisters—my four aunts and three uncles. My second uncle and third uncle were mentally ill since childhood. In the 1960s, there was a big fire at home. The third uncle lost his life in the fire, and the second uncle became even more mentally disturbed. My grandma is three years older than my grandpa. When my sister-in-law was in her teens, she had cerebral palsy and could not take care of herself. Grandpa worked in the commune grain station, and the family raised donkeys for grain grinding. During those years when the family was in trouble in the countryside, my third uncle He passed away, his second uncle became mentally ill, his grandmother became ill, and the donkeys he bought every year for three consecutive years also fell ill and died for no reason, three of them died in a row.
My grandfather has been taking care of his hemiplegic grandma for more than 20 years. Until his death, he never had to worry about his children. The silly second uncle had serious mental problems, but my grandfather never gave up. When I was young, I still thought about marrying him a wife, but finally gave up. My grandfather lived with the second uncle and took care of his daily life. Until the second uncle now lives in Enter the National Nursing Home.
When my grandfather was eighteen or nineteen years old, his aunt and uncle were born one after another. A few days later, he was also arrested as an "Eighth Route Army" and served as a "Central Army". Maybe fate favored him. He, thinking about his family, all escaped by chance. Later, when New China was founded, he served as the captain of the village for many years. Grandpa was a philanthropic person throughout his life. Even when he was poor, he saved many lives and families. Many descendants of his predecessors in the village remember his kindness and have great respect for my grandfather.
In Yuncheng County, my grandfather had a good friend (my grandfather liked to say that, he was a sworn brother). In order to thank his grandfather for saving his life, he and his grandfather became relatives until We, the descendants, still go back and forth. I only know that a sworn grandfather often said to his villagers, "Without my brother, there would be no me. Without our family, if I treat my brother badly, I will have a bad conscience for the rest of my life." A 70-year-old man in the village suffered from hemiplegia and was in a wheelchair. Whenever he saw his grandfather, he burst into tears. Later I learned that when this old man was young, when the village organized trench digging, he secretly wiped his tears because his family was too poor to eat. Grandpa He was the captain of Murakami at the time, and later handed him the food in his bowl, but he was grateful to his grandfather for the rest of his life.
There are many examples of these charities...
Grandpa is in good health now and is very content with life. Some time ago, someone in the village encouraged him to report his situation to the country, "I also had He has made contributions to the country, grinded flour for the commune, and served as a captain in the village for more than ten years." But he said: "Life is very good now. In the past, when I was fleeing the famine and not having enough to eat, I was very content and I didn't need to react."
Two photos (my grandfather and my children, taken when my grandfather was 91 years old)
Let me talk about it , my opinion:
In the past, there were always a few prestigious old people in the countryside, why are there basically none now?
Although there are still old people with high prestige in our area, they are basically not as easy to use as before. There is an old man with high prestige in our family, and usually there will be some minor disputes among other people. Everyone would come to him to resolve conflicts, and he was willing to mediate. But the old man encountered difficulties at home. Those who were able to help him found excuses to dodge, while those who were not able to help him were helpless.
For example, a few years ago, his son lost money in business abroad, and the family had some financial difficulties. There was a man in our family with a net worth of over 100 million. The old man looked down and asked him to borrow money, which was only 100,000 yuan. But they said they had no cash and gave many excuses but refused to borrow it. The old man was a little unhappy and complained in front of us, saying that the rich man was wrong in various ways: when there was something going on in his family or when someone got married, he would ask the old man to take charge and take charge. Since they are all from the same clan, they won't get any benefits, so they can only give two cigarettes at most. If your family is in trouble and you want to borrow some money, you can go to your door to borrow money, but they won't be willing to do so. He won't bother to take care of things anymore.
When the rich man has nothing to do, he also likes to be a "leader" and command others. He always says that the family must unite, but he "disappears" whenever something happens. .
The reason for this is that now is not like before, when everyone's economy was similar. There won't be a lot of money exchanges, and now the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. When there are disputes between families, or when there are red and white matters, the elderly are always thought of. But in normal times, whoever has money speaks louder, and his words are effective. Even if others are dissatisfied, it’s hard to say it to their face. This means that when there is no big problem, the rich have prestige, but when something happens, they have to go to the old man.
In summary, times have changed. Even if the old man has prestige now, he can only rely on him for important events, such as weddings and funerals. But in ordinary life, whoever has money has prestige. There are more people who like to curry favor with rich people than around prestigious old people.
I think the main reason is that this society has become too impetuous. Everything depends on money. It seems that if you have money, you will be particularly successful. They are the losers at the bottom of society. I have an uncle like this. He graduated from a prestigious school, found a good job, and bought two houses in Guangzhou. He felt that he was from another class. He looked down upon rural people and laughed at my father in front of my grandparents. No future, no money to be made. Oh, I think when he just graduated and came out to work in society, my dad didn't ask for help, and he took the initiative to help with anything? Oh, by the way, he didn't come back to worship his ancestors during the Qingming festival two months ago. You said why there are basically few prestigious elderly people in rural areas now. That's because everyone judges success or failure based on whether they have money. Without money, you are a loser and there is no prestige at all.
My dad is this kind of person, I have a deep understanding of it and I definitely have the right to speak.
First of all, let me explain something, Not every village has the prestige of the elderly, nor is it because it is the elders who have the prestige
My family belongs to a town and a village connected together. There are small villages on all sides, and below the village There are also mountains and valleys. Anyway, it is about one thousand meters from the village to the town. My father was a vegetable seller. After making money, he returned to the town and started a small business. According to the time, he was the boss in the 1980s and 1990s. He was building roads and building mills in the village. It's my family's money. It doesn't work to improve the water pipes in the town, change the land in the village, or the mayor. My dad just works, from changing the underground to stealing food
In short, it works. The prestige condition is probably having money and being able to hold a bowl of water levelly. The prestige condition of Tongzong Village is not within this range, but why it loses prestige and the answer is the same
Everyone You already have money, but when you don’t get a penny, there is a millionaire in front of you, and you think, wow, this is so fucking awesome, Tianshou, there are 100,000, but when the millionaire appears, you think that’s all.
< p>I remember that when I was a child, I played marbles with other children at the door. When people from the ditch came to my courtyard bar to rest, they saw this and asked if this was a "young master" from a certain family ~ [face covering ], I hear it once or twice a week and it makes me burst into tears.
Back to the topic, when did everyone start to get rich? 2000 was the year A watershed moment. Business exploded in the 1990s and the real money was made between 2000 and 2010. Everyone also wonders whether the relationship between people has faded away at this time, and we will not talk about the Internet era in 10 years.
2000 years ago, the concept of "people" was followed by the concept of "money". That is to say, in the past, respect for people and money was secondary, but now, money is completely respected. In popular terms, The point is, you are an old man who has prestige but can’t bring me any benefits, so you are nothing, that’s probably what it means
Let’s take my dad as an example. Even though he is still famous on the surface, everyone still respects him. In fact, the weight of his words now is that of Mr. Tree. In fact, in today's society, no matter who you are, as long as you ask others, unless you are extremely rich and powerful, you are still Mr. Tree
Talking on a mobile phone is inconvenient, so let’s sort it out
When I was a child, whether it was a small family quarrel or a big family or neighbor quarrel, When there is a conflict, as long as a prestigious old man comes forward, the two parties in the conflict can stop immediately, each explain his own reasons, and let the old man comment, and both parties will accept the old man's judgment.
My father used to be this kind of character. In my memory, no matter how angry or conflicting the people were, or even using weapons, as long as the father appeared, the war would stop immediately. Of course, there were accidental injuries.
Although many people still respect their father on the surface, we all understand that his power is no longer there.
When I went home last year, I saw that my father was in a bad mood, so I secretly asked my mother what was going on. It turned out that there was a family who perhaps felt that his father was highly respected and it would be a good thing to take care of the family affairs, so they invited his father over. As a result, when my father actually arranged the affairs, the family didn't take it seriously at all...
After knowing the cause and consequences of the matter, I felt sorry for my father for a long time, and secretly told my mother not to let my father take care of it in the future. Something like that.
Teacher Mommy believes that it is not that the prestigious old people are no longer there, but that their prestige has expired and they have all become confused old people. They understand that people nowadays no longer believe in old people or truth, but they believe in the power of money and power.
Hello friends! This is a good question. This problem is related to a series of problems currently existing in rural areas, such as: fewer and fewer young people, more and more vacant houses, and uncultivated land, etc., but it has a deeper origin... Below , Old Beard has some opinions:
Old Beard believes that there are two reasons for this problem: a superficial "cause" and a deep "cause".
Okay, Old Beard starts to analyze——First of all, let’s talk about the superficial “cause”: In fact, there are fewer prestigious old people in rural areas, and the reason is that there are fewer young people in rural areas. related. At this point, some people may say that a prestigious old man has nothing to do with a young man? Don't tell me, this matter is really relevant. Let's take Lao Huzi's hometown as an example: when he was a child, Lao Huzi played with his friends. Every family had a large family and there were elderly people in every family. Even in the past few years, every time he went back to his hometown, There are many old people on the street. But now, there are very few, where have they gone? They have all been taken to the city by their children. Although the elderly like to stay in their hometown and hang out with their lifelong neighbors, his decision does not count. It is his body that has the final say. Being taken to the city can be regarded as being taken care of. . If he is not in good health and his children leave him in his hometown, the neighbors will laugh at him, right? Even if you don’t live in the city all year round, you usually live in your hometown in the spring and autumn. In the city in winter, you have the habits of migratory birds...
Also, the old beard never puts people in the position of old age. He said that he has always believed that people in their fifties and sixties are also young people. However, if we look at rural areas in the past, they could still be considered old people. But now, the second-tier old people are either still paying for their children’s mortgages as young people, or they are retired and living in the city. They can’t afford to sit in the village. Enjoy the majesty?
"Sanwazi, go to your third master's house and see if there is still water in his jar?"
Old When Hu Hu wrote this, a warm instruction came from afar from the invisible years. This is my mother's voice. My mother was telling my old beard to go and see if there was water in the urn at the Third Master’s house. At that time, people in the village had to go to the wells on the street to get water. The third master with an old beard is the most prestigious person in the village. He is old-fashioned and rarely smiles. He often sits on a large circle chair with a book in his hand. He does not move except turning pages, like a statue, and even scares flies. I didn't even dare to fly in front of him... The third master was once a scholar and taught all his life. Later, he returned to the village. If there is any problem in the village, such as: the neighbor to the east complains that the sewage from the west neighbor is flowing into his house, Aunt Zhang and Aunt Li are fighting over a chicken, etc., etc., all such matters should be resolved by the Third Master. Before each breakup, the third master sat upright with a blank expression, and let out a "cough" sound, which made both parties tremble violently. No matter how reasonable a person is, he has no momentum at this time...
Look, the old beard is nagging again, ha, don’t bother. Old Beard continues to analyze——
Then, let’s talk about the deep-seated “cause”. In fact, there are fewer prestigious old people in rural areas. Old Beard believes that, in the final analysis, it is because there are fewer educated old people. Culture, this thing sounds simple, but if you think about it carefully, it has a lot of connotations. For example, in terms of causes: some are from books, some are from tradition, some are from experience... Here, the old beard says something , the elderly people in the countryside may be unhappy, but don’t be unhappy, Lao Beardy’s father and mother are in the countryside, they are also old people, that is - in the past, those educated old people gradually passed away, now these old people are mostly educated Not high. Why? We live in different eras, so I won’t go into details here, but just look at a few points. Do any of today’s elderly people read books at home? I'm afraid there are a lot of them, but I can't even read 200 characters. Also, as I said just now, all the educated people in those days went out. Even if they retired, they did not say goodbye to their old age and return to their hometown... Because of the shallow cultural background, some parents have shortcomings, and now some elderly people in the village are worse than young people. Being able to calculate, young people often go back to convince them...
Speaking of this, Old Beard thought of his third master again. He always held a book. Always so majestic, he will always be Old Beard’s god, he will always be the soul of Old Beard’s hometown...
My friend, what Old Beard said makes sense, right?
When I saw this question, I first recalled an incident from my childhood.
I remember when I was seven or eight years old, I just came home from school one day and passed by the door of my neighbor Uncle Bing’s house. I saw his ducks eating at the door. I naughtily went up and I kicked his duck until it squealed. When the neighbor man came out and saw this, he yelled at me. Being a bit squeamish, I went home and complained to my dad. My dad ran away without understanding the actual situation. We went to Uncle Bing's house and had a quarrel with him, and the quarrel was so intense that they even got into a fight. No matter how much people around them tried to persuade me, my mother finally called in the third and fifth fathers who had the longest seniority in the village.
After the third father and the fifth father arrived at the scene, they first glared at my father and Uncle Bing. My father and Uncle Bing immediately stopped arguing, and then followed the third father obediently. When I went into the house with my fifth father, I stood outside and watched. I only remember that the third and fifth fathers were more serious and scolded my father and Uncle Bing respectively. In the end, both my father and Uncle Bing lowered their heads.
In my impression, the third father and the fifth father are always invited by the people nearby for anything. Whether it is weddings and funerals, weddings and funerals, or conflicts and disputes, they are the key figures. Everything must be done according to their opinions. They have always been in the "center" of the crowd. Even if the village cadres have any unresolved matters between the cadres and the masses, they need to be asked to mediate.
As time went by, the third father and the fifth father became older and older, and they also passed away when they were seven or eight years old respectively. But after their death, people in the village sometimes still think of them in public places.
First, prestigious old people have passed away one after another, and it is difficult for future generations to take up the responsibility.
In addition to their seniority, these prestigious old people have In addition to the obvious characteristic of being tall, there are many characteristics that others do not possess. They have rich experience. My third father and fifth father were both born in 1930. They have experienced wars, suffered natural disasters, and served in the army. They have experienced many situations in their lives and have seen many things in the world, so they have a strong understanding of things. Views can be relatively objective and solutions to problems can be diverse. They are respected. They are selfless in dealing with others, and they treat any problem impartially and thoughtfully. As elders, they will not "protect others". They are always eager to help others. No matter what, they treat other people's affairs as their own. Help others solve problems in times of crisis.
After their death, it is difficult to find people with rich experience, respect and enthusiasm to help others like them in the village. Now the elderly in rural areas used to be just helpers in front of them. As children, their life experiences are not rich enough and their ability to deal with problems is slightly lacking.
Secondly, there are more people going out to work, and the "business" in the village has been greatly reduced.
In the original rural areas, migrant workers There were few people, and most people were working at home, so there were more things to do when there were more people. Later, as the number of migrant workers continued to increase, the rural permanent population decreased greatly. The natural village (villager group) where my family is located originally had 30 people. There are many households, and currently there are only about ten households at home, and all of them are left-behind elderly people.
In this case, the fewer people there are, the fewer things will happen. There are not so many affairs to deal with in the village, so even if there are prestigious old people in the village, The occasions that require their presence are also greatly reduced compared to before.
Third, with the continuous development of society, the level of social governance has also improved.
In the past rural areas, if something happened in a village, , in the case of relatively limited information, we can only solve it by ourselves. Now, with the continuous development of society and the continuous improvement of social governance levels, village cadres have become more detailed in their management of village affairs, involving all aspects of villagers' lives. The service capabilities of police stations, judicial offices and other units have continued to increase and continue to expand and extend. For general affairs, villagers can solve them themselves. If they cannot be solved, they can be coordinated by Baopian village cadres. For conflicts and disputes, police stations, judicial offices and other units have relatively sound handling mechanisms and can use relevant policies and laws. to resolve properly.
At the same time, as people’s concepts and consciousness change, villagers’ awareness of applying laws and policies when facing problems has also been continuously enhanced. Many problems are more complicated than before. Prestige old people It is difficult to properly solve it on your own.