crib on the stage-no (cloth city)
whip on the stage-overweight (fake horse)
guanyin temple is on fire-wonderful (temple disaster)
Monkey Sun is sitting in the golden hall-unlike Ren (human) Qi (qi)
horse racing in the alley-the problem (hoof) is difficult to get out
crossing the river by pulling the beard-modesty (holding the beard) is excessive (crossing)
ringing the bell in mid-air-daydreaming (ringing)
catching bees and eating honey-Tian (sweet) shameless (stabbing) < p Eat
bean dregs-don't touch (stick)
beans and firewood are on fire-worry (dustpan)
dried bean curd cook the meat-there are some (vegetarian)
tofu milk to cook-there is no need to say (salt)
The couple hoes the ground-regardless of (hire) people < p (ringing) Here we are.
The drought charm worships the hag-do (fine) damn it
Bamboo shoots outside the garden-nephew (born)
Men don't beat their wives-it's a blessing (husband and wife)
Scholars write poems-they have two hands (first)
Baldy men take off their hats-first name (first name) -what's the noise (rising)
smoke in the rice cooker-fans (rice) have burnt mosquito-repellent incense under the bed-there is no mosquito (mosquito)
frozen tofu-difficult to handle (mix)
stir-fry hot beans in a cold pan-the louder the noise (stir-fry), the colder it becomes
stick a door on the kitchen god.
Cow with no horns-fake scolding (horse)
Not rushing to the temple fair-Don't worry (squeeze)
A coffin without a bottom-No (prosperous) person
No money to buy conch-Save (suck)
Waipo crosses the single-plank bridge-collar (stand) and (son Heart
poor people buy rice-a (rising) head
poor carpenter opens-only one sentence (saw)
tinker plants somersaults-upside down (iron)
Zhang Tianshi goes into the sea-Mo (feels strange)
Zhang Tianshi kneels in the mud-intercession (sunny) < -A few (chicken) heads suffer indignities
Chickens peck at ants-It's just right (to eat)
Take the soles without awls-Handrails made of real (needle) paper-stools that can't lean on (lean on)
Paper-pasted stoves that can't be made (sit on)
. Children enter the hospital-consciously (treating feet)
Frog jumps on the drum-Understand (drumming)
Go down to the coal mine with crutches-Step by step unlucky (coal)
Pull a beard across the street-Modesty (holding a beard)
The painted horse-Not strange (riding)
Cut the board with jujube stones.
Campfire Bug's ass-not a lot (bright)
Monks holding umbrellas-can't (get) lawless
Monks separating-troubled (temple)
Monks sitting in caves-nothing (temple)
Monks dragging wood-something happened (temple)
Monks. Fishing in the pond-superfluous (fish)
foxes quarreling-a group of Hu (foxes) say
foxes ride tigers-foxes fake (drive) from tiger to tiger
dogs have horns-foreigners (sheep) are angry
dogs eat tofu brains-leisure (title) is not available < Mirror-Cong (Chong) Ming
Cattle grazers eat crabs-Needless to say (with salt)
Fried pickles with salt-Too idle (salty)
Put a pot on the kang-Transform (stove)
Wash Huang Lian by the river-Why (the river) is bitter
Long vegetables in the river. -wait for
the plasterer to wave-ask you (mud)
the plasterer's tile knife-light map (paint) the surface
grass grows on the clay bodhisattva-panic (drought)
loach plays drums-talk nonsense (play)
be afraid of carpenters. -There is no one in the eye (wood)
Empty steamer on the pot table-Fight for (steaming) air
Put the drying cage on the shoulder-Angry (brain) fire
Needle on the thread board-Holding (don't) the orchard in spring-Makes sense (peaches and plums)
Looking forward to the field in spring and autumn. Song Taizu's nosebleed-the judge who is (I) digging his eyes in the red
-blind management (ghost)
drum of the Town God Temple-ghost look (knock)
Master Town God's horse-no wonder (riding)
Master Town God's beard. Maruko)
There was a fire in the tea shop-sure enough (burning)
There was a wave in the teahouse-Hu (pot) came
Straw was used as a lamp-carelessness (core)
Rumbling in the grass mud pond-laughter (yeast)
Straw hat was used as a gong-I couldn't think (ring) < Skin
sitting in the lobby with a toilet-stolen (dirty) officials
trees are small and shady-care (shade) is less than
trees fall down-there is no shadow (shade)
under the bacon soup-needless to say (salt)
I eat too much salty-although I am idle (salty). The (salt) is too heavy
A crooked head and a monk prostrate themselves-something is wrong (neck)
Noodles are lit-it's impossible for prisoners (rice)
A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: rabbits, dried shrimps, pig's tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! Comrades and villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, the meeting is now! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: pickles please sausage pickles! Now, please speak to the township head! The township head said: Rabbits, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big bastard! Comrades, today's meal is enough. Let's all be big bowls! Don't be a pickle, I'll pick up a piece of dog shit and lick it for you. Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.
I went to a restaurant to eat dumplings with a foreign friend one day.
A beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and say, "How much is it to sleep?"
The young lady was greatly embarrassed and became very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings were.
...
jiaozi served them and I asked him if he wanted mustard.
He invited the young lady again. Is there a "program"?
The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what kind of program do you want?"
"It's the yellow one ..."
1. Q: What kind of chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?
A: Kentucky Fried Chicken (fast)
Nicole Kidman (slow
2.Q: What animal is the easiest to stick on the wall?
A: sea (newspaper) leopard
3. The eleventh book is incredible (book11)
4. A person who was painted golden was a blockbuster (a golden man)
5. Jade told Xiaoming that her father was impotent and couldn't stop (Jade dad couldn't)
6. Eating with chopsticks. The moon represents my heart (
CoCo Lee, how much I love you ...)
8. What color can best imitate? -Red (Mill) imitates
9.2 China, Japan and the United States, which country has the most troops?
A: Japan ... There is a singer named Ayumi Hamasaki in Japan (soldiers March in unison) ~ ~
1. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle picked up the phone and said that feeding the yang was against the yin (the sheep phone was fed by the eagle
11. There were ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheepfold and one squatting in the pigsty (one sheep squatted wrong < p That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?
Answer: yellow
Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shi Huang)
13. Which Chinese character is the coolest?
a: thongs are cool.
1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: depend, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.
2. Female: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"
3. Patient: "Doctor, you left the scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I still have one."
4. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a candied haws from 15 yuan, they cried, and the farmers gave them two 7-piece ones.
5. the minimum standard for college students; Peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field
7. I said you were a pig, but you said: I am a pig. From then on, I will call you "pig is strange"! Finally, one day, you can't help yelling at everyone: I'm not a pig!
8. Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.
9. Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."
1. The sun was really nice last night.
11. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was hesitant because the car shop didn't have an auspicious license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 544 (let me try it), and no one dares to mess with it, isn't it?"!
Regal was moved and immediately bought this car, but there was an accident the next day. Regal got out of the car angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got out of the car, he left in despair. The original license plate of the other party was 44944 (just try it).
12. The dialogue between the fortune teller and the young lady: "Your life is not good." "Why?" "Because you have a bad omen."
"Can I take off my bra?" "No, as soon as you take off the bad omen, there will be two big waves in life.
Here's the ear
The newly appointed magistrate of a county is from Shandong. Because he wants to hang the bill, he said to the master, "You
buy me two bamboo poles."
touts recognized the "bamboo pole" of Shandong dialect as "pig liver", and quickly agreed, and ran
to the butcher's shop and said to the shopkeeper, "The new county grandfather wants to buy two pig livers, so you are a wise man.
You should know better!"
The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pig livers and gave away a pair of pig ears.
After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine ..." So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back at the county government, I reported to the magistrate
, "Report back, Grandfather, I bought the pig liver!"
When the magistrate saw that the master bought pig liver, he was angry and said, "Where are your ears!"
Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and hurriedly replied:
"Ear … ear … here … in my … pocket!"
once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his family's fields, but it was not enough to pay the rent.
He had to give him a chicken first.
there was a tenant named Zhang San, who went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and shared the land in the following year.
When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. He told the landlord about the next year's tenancy of the field. He insisted that his hands were empty, so he said with his eyes open, "There are no three kinds of fields."
Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. Di Dianzi
killed the chicken and immediately changed his tune and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"
Zhang San said, "Your words have become so fast!"
The landlord replied, "Just now, that sentence was' nonsense (chicken)', and now this sentence is' made by seeing the machine (chicken)'."
There is an opportunity
A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to fly before
and sent a telegram to the manager for fear that he would not agree to the reimbursement: "There is an opportunity, take
no?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was the "opportunity" to close the deal, and immediately called back: "Take it if you can."
when the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses because he was not qualified enough to take the plane
. The salesman took out the manager's telegram, and the manager was dumbfounded.
About place names
On New Year's Eve, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more formal than
.
during the dinner, the cheerful one.