I don't know what the sage said. All children are angels sent by heaven. I totally agree with this sentence, but I didn't really understand the meaning of this sentence until my child grew up.
When my son was born, his mother and I, like most parents in the world, hoped that the child would be outstanding in the future. However, the contrast between the beautiful vision and the reality is too great, and a series of challenges are constantly emerging in the process of children's growth. We are constantly alternating between "changing children or changing ourselves". In the end, it turned out that angels were practicing life with us.
At that time, my son's kindergartens were in Mudanjiang and Shenyang, primary school was in Shenyang, junior high school was in Anshan and high school was in Hangzhou. I travel all the year round, and only his mother takes care of me at home full-time. This clown often does many funny things and constantly challenges our educational ideas and means.
When I was in Mudanjiang kindergarten, my son was often surrounded by a group of soldiers aged eighteen or nineteen, and he developed a naughty, humorous and daring character. This will benefit him a lot in the future. No matter what strange environment, he can adapt quickly and make friends quickly.
When I was in Shenyang kindergarten, under the herd effect, we also enrolled our son in interest classes such as painting, music, English and fast literacy reading, which basically went away. We really can't stand being parents together when we see other people's children are proficient in everything and everyone praises them. But a few years later, at the beginning, the children didn't behave better. This shows that the so-called self-esteem of young parents is not worth mentioning.
When I was in elementary school, my son played in the army compound, and few people walked at the gate of the military camp. Basically, he shuttles back and forth on the wall of the barracks after school. His mother has been worried that the child will lose at the starting line, and the anxiety index has obviously increased. Staring at the children's study every day is getting tighter and tighter, and the son is also changing ways to confront his mother all day.
In the first grade of primary school, once, my mother was busy cooking dinner, and my son pretended to be full of joy and asked, Mom, how do you write your name? My mother solemnly wrote her name on a small piece of paper folded by her son. As a result, my mother was cheated This is a notice about students' grades and performance at school. My mother wrote her name in a daze without reading the notice. It was not until a long time later that I went to a parent-teacher meeting and the class teacher asked me why.
In the fourth and fifth grades of primary school, the children's grades have been tepid, and the mother is particularly anxious. When she saw that her son was not as good as she thought, she always felt that her face was not bright. Every time the school results come out, the mother basically scolds her son with violence, and tears will come to her eyes. Not to be outdone, my son once copied an essay "My Stepmother" and handed it in. This primary school composition selection was bought in Shenzhen, but the Shenyang primary school teacher didn't know it and mistakenly thought that the child really had a stepmother. When I attended the parent-teacher conference, my son's class teacher told me that your son is poor! Don't let his mother (stepmother) take charge of his studies in the future, I will focus on helping him. Until my son transferred to Anshan for junior high school, the primary school class teacher saw me and always cared. How is your son?
My son's junior high school is even more worrying. My mother and I are often called to the school by the head teacher to listen to the teachings, and our parents' beautiful vision has suffered major setbacks one after another. Occasionally, the son is also a mixed double, but more often it is a fierce confrontation between mother and son, and the son's rebellious behavior is getting worse.
Once I came home from a business trip, I knocked at the door. Nobody answered the door. I opened it with the key and saw two girls fighting on the sofa. The son has grown up, grabbed his mother's coat collar with both hands, twisted his mother on the sofa and asked indignantly, why did you wronged me and why did you scold me! I was in distress situation and scolded my son. I don't think this can go on any longer. If the mother and son continue to fight, they will collapse. Behind my son's back, I convinced my lover that if I can't change my son, I will change myself. The lover is full of grievances, saying that his son's academic performance will not go up and he will not be admitted to a good university in the future. Isn't this child ruined? I advise my lover to deeply reflect on whether children are important or academic performance is important! Lovers realize that children are more important than grades, but they are still worried about the future.
In order to relieve my lover's anxiety, I decided to take her out for a month, and my son gave it to the service staff for temporary custody. My son was very happy to know that he had been at home for nearly a month. He is determined to study hard, stay out of trouble, and wish his parents happy outside. I know this statement can't be taken seriously, but I still pretend to believe what my son said. Just as we were returning from our visit to the Three Gorges, the teacher called to ask, where are your parents? Come to school at once. I can only tell the truth, I am recuperating in the Three Gorges. The teacher flew into a rage. Why didn't you report to me when you went out? Why don't you care about your children learning to play by themselves? I can only say with a wry smile that I must ask the teacher for leave next time, okay?
Although the son's IQ is average (mainly because his parents' IQ is not outstanding), his EQ is normal.
On the eve of junior high school graduation, I discussed with him whether you would go to the military academy as an officer or go back to Hangzhou for the senior high school entrance examination. My son thought about it, answered me and went back to Hangzhou to attend high school. I told my son that the road is your own choice. You should go on by yourself no matter what, and a man should be indomitable. It is very important to respect the choice of a rebellious child in his youth!
Because the junior high school courses in Liaoning and Hangzhou are different, my son took a real kung fu exam and was admitted to a middle school. I thought he would study hard in high school and become a schoolmaster, but everything returned to normal.
In high school, our family of three couldn't talk about academic performance together. In case of academic performance ranking or college entrance examination, it must be a chicken flying a dog jumping and crying. His mother was so nervous that she was anxious to attend the parents' meeting at school. She often cries alone and often asks me what my children will do in the future. I can only comfort her, don't worry! As long as he is a child of sunshine, God will naturally arrange his future. In fact, I am comforting myself, but I firmly believe that as long as I don't go to extremes, everything will be fine!
Near high school graduation, I asked his class teacher if his son could be admitted to the university. The head teacher firmly told me that there was no way, and I was going to reread it. After I came back, I told my son cheerfully that the teacher said that you have great potential and will definitely be admitted to the university!
I don't know what lottery my son won. He was admitted to Ma Yun's alma mater.
After going to college, my son began to live on campus and live independently. We gave him a completely free space. I told my son that you should be 100% responsible for yourself at the beginning of college. Your little goal is to graduate on time, find a job and support yourself.
My son's college grades are average, but he is sunny and cheerful, and he is good at making friends. He slowly found his interest and fell in love with the Internet. Now, my son graduated from college for several years, and after many twists and turns, he returned to work in an Internet company owned by Ali. After his son found his favorite job, he worked hard and his small family did well. More importantly, he is willing to talk to his parents about things in his life and work, and often goes home to have a reunion dinner with us and talk about his experience in being a man and doing things. How rare!
Now, his mother and I sometimes discuss the education of our son in those days. Although I had high expectations at the beginning, I finally chose the right direction-changing myself and accepting that children are ordinary people, so there are fewer detours in the parent-child relationship.
Every child is an angel sent from heaven. Some angels are bright and dazzling, while others are ordinary. It takes courage, courage and wisdom to accept your child as an ordinary angel. In the difficult process of accompanying children to grow up, it is angels who let us know that affection and love are more important than anything else!