“Hello everyone, I am Liu Ting, from Foshan. I am currently engaged in user operations. My usual hobbies are mountain climbing, swimming and cooking. I am a foodie. I hope I can spend the weekend with all the foodies here. Make an appointment to exchange experiences..."
You must have heard this kind of self-introduction a lot, and you have introduced yourself on various occasions: freshman meetings, hometown gatherings , New employee induction training meeting... Why has no one ever introduced that their hobby is playing with mobile phones? Obviously, the mobile phone cannot be left in hand or out of sight, otherwise it will not be possible to think about food and drink, and it will be difficult to sit still.
When lunch time came, colleagues in twos and threes emerged from the grid seats and stood up (forgive me for not being kind enough to think of whack-a-mole), calling friends and meeting for dinner. The mighty team passed by my seat, and the team leader once again enthusiastically extended an olive branch to me, and I happily joined the end of the team. If we all eat together, we have to chat or have a few words with each other, right? In fact, I prefer to eat alone, enjoying my leisure time while chewing beef brisket, and thinking about things freely, but I have no choice but to refuse the kind invitations that come again and again, every three days.
We sat around a long table, and everyone had their own food placed in front of them. While eating, everyone checked their phones and played with each other, very quietly. Eh? It’s a bit funny to me. My worries are unnecessary. Who doesn’t play with their mobile phone while eating now?
Wait... In that case, why do we still have to eat together? Ah, the sense of ceremony! The ancients sacrificed animals to the gods, and then sat solemnly around the offerings, sharing food with everyone. Now, we worship the mobile phone god together at the dinner table and inject energy into it. If anyone pays attention, they will definitely notice that we are looking attentive and pious at this moment.
I suddenly felt that British novelist Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" set new media, cars, and high technology as the new generation of gods. It was simply too Got an insight. To be more specific, mobile phones are our gods and beliefs now. When we lower our heads slightly and stare at our phones, we are worshiping religiously.
No wonder everyone loves the god of mobile phones. Compared with the gods in the past, when they prayed for good weather and prosperity for their homes and houses, it was unknown whether the spirit would work or when it would work. But now, as long as we bow our heads to the God of mobile phones and ask for help, our requests will be answered and it will be effective immediately.
On the subway, it is so crowded that it is difficult to stand up straight. You feel like you are drowning in a dark deep sea, with seawater from all directions pressing in, compressing your chest. You are surrounded from front to back, left and right, your back is pressed against a woman, and your calves are tickled by the rough guy next to you. You are extremely depressed, when will TM arrive? You want to yell nervously and push all the passengers into the dark tunnel. Let them all die! However, reason tells you that this is absolutely impossible.
The God of Mobile Phones! You take out your mobile phone and pray to it sincerely: Let me forget this boring and depressing subway trip and forget about these people around me. I can't stand it anymore...
As if in the dark, you heard a vague voice respond: Open the URL and watch the latest update of "Doctor Foster". Your favorite jokes are also updated today. Go ahead, kid...
You followed the oracle's instructions, grabbing the crossbar with one hand, leaning your head on your arm, staring intently at your phone, motionless. When the train arrives at the station, the passengers around you are getting up and down, but they can no longer interfere with you. Occasionally, a tall passenger will almost bump into your phone, but he will not lean down or change his position. At most, he will raise his phone a little higher.
At the class party, you happen to be sitting at the same table with classmates you are half familiar with. "What are you doing now?" "Is it convenient to work where you live in the company?" "Are you busy? Do you work a lot of overtime?" "After several rounds, I finally couldn't find the topic.
Why hasn’t the food been served yet? God of mobile phones, save me from awkward chats...
“Open WeChat and pretend someone is looking for you to reply to WeChat, or turn on the camera and have a chat with them Selfie warm-up..."
Have an opinion about your boyfriend/girlfriend/colleague/friend, but are you embarrassed to mention it in person? The god of mobile phones can help you, "There is nothing that cannot be solved by emoticons. If there are, then two."
Mobile phones have become our patron saint, It is a part of life, no wonder no one dares to introduce mobile phones as a hobby. Do you want to blaspheme?
The gods in the past were the gods of all people, so the emperor went to Mount Tai to offer sacrifices in order to seek protection for the common people in the world. Now the gods of mobile phones are their own gods. You can't mess with me at will, otherwise you will fall out. For serious consequences, you can refer to articles such as "Should I break up if my girlfriend peeks at my phone?"
This leads to a problem, it is difficult for people with different gods to play together. When I get home from get off work every day, I watch the Japanese dramas "The Black Leather Manual", "Quartet" and "Women Who Pay Millions a Month" in my room, and my sister watches "The Legend of the Destiny", "Drunken Linglong" and "Three Lives, Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossom" in the living room. Or we could just sit on the bed, me listening to Da Lei Sao as a potted plant, and she listening to Jacky Cheung.
None of us used headphones, and miraculously we didn’t feel disturbed by the other party. Perhaps the brain automatically blocks things that it is not interested in, or perhaps we are protected by the radiance of our own God and are not disturbed by the outside world.
One night, she brought back some hairy crabs. We peeled off the crab shells with both hands, ate the crab meat with relish, talked and laughed, and left our mobile phones on the sofa. I suddenly realized that we hadn’t spoken for a long time. I didn’t mean communicating here, but really “talking”.
Last year, I went back to school for work and walked around the campus. There are still many students playing volleyball on the volleyball court; there are still groups of students sitting on the South Second Lawn, seemingly engaged in team building activities; by the West Lake, couples are walking by holding hands, and singles are reading English aloud.
Nothing has changed, only the students who do these things have changed. When I saw them doing what I had done before, I realized that I didn't always live on my phone.
It used to be said that the days of studying were three o'clock and one line, two o'clock and one line. Now after working, it is the real two o'clock and one line: working in the company - going home and playing with mobile phones. .
Why don’t you go out to play? After working overtime and having a meal, where is the time?
Weekend? After getting up at 10 or 11 o'clock, I play with my mobile phone and cook breakfast. It's noon. I clean the room and it's evening. Wait, why does it take an afternoon to clean the room? Emmm... I probably played with my phone in the middle of the game. Don't worry about these details. I don't have time anyway...
I used to get up very early in school, around 7 o'clock. , wash up and have breakfast, watch a movie and make a movie review, and draw a few simple drawings. I feel like I have done a lot of things. When I look at the time, holy shit, it’s only 10 o’clock! The roommate was still under the covers.
Next weekend, get up earlier, stop playing with your mobile phone, go back to school, and go to Hanxiang Road to eat the Korean bibimbap that you will never forget. I want to tell my boss that in the future you can place an advertisement called "Korean bibimbap that all graduates will come back to eat."