My boss brought it to his grandparents when he was over one year old. I admit that my grandparents are more patient than us. It is because they are too patient that they won't say anything about their children.
My parents-in-law are from the countryside. Usually when a mother-in-law wants to do something, she will turn on the TV for her children. So when we go back for the Spring Festival, the children basically watch TV all day except sleeping.
The child is two years old and still nursing. See this. After the New Year, we brought up our children. It took almost half a year for the children to get used to it after they arrived here.
Psychologists say: children come to their parents, not grandparents.
Children still have to bring their own.
The best solution: live with the elderly, parents are the main person in charge of raising the baby, and the elderly are the helpers.
There is too much social pressure now. If a person doesn't go to work at all and takes care of the children at home, the economic pressure at home will be great. So if the elderly can help, the family will live together, parents will go to work during the day and give their children to the elderly during the day. At the same time, parents can teach the elderly to eat and drink and educate their children.
Let the elderly carry out according to their own requirements, and never give the children to the elderly completely because of their help. Of course, when parents come home from work at night, they must accompany their children efficiently, such as walking together and bedtime stories, which are all very important to contact parent-child relationship.
Looking at the problem, it seems that this is the case with the questioner. Grandparents, grandparents and children all say that mom doesn't want you. This problem must be strictly prohibited. If you can't communicate, talk to your husband.
The tough place must be tough, and of course the way of communication can also be gentle.
Do you think the child will kiss her grandmother by telling her mother that she doesn't want you? You know how much harm it will do to children to talk like this. Psychologist Wu Zhihong said that if a child before the age of three is away from his mother for more than three weeks, the inner psychological damage is irreversible.
If a child is told from an early age that his mother doesn't want him, he will have great defects in his heart and feel insecure.
This must be made clear to grandparents. I have to listen to you about the baby. Grandparents can only help.
Many mothers will worry that if I am too tough, will my parents leave without taking care of their children?
Therefore, we should pay attention to ways and means. Toughness is not a hard fight, but a gentle attitude and a firm position. Moreover, according to the actual situation at home, together with her husband, we should find the most acceptable communication method for parents and win their parents together.
The second way: take care of the children full time.
If the family's economic situation allows, or if the husband can support it for a while, it is also good for the mother to take her children to kindergarten full-time. With a mother, children can get more parent-child links. At this stage, mothers mainly take care of their children, so they can lower their economic life and go out to find some part-time jobs after their children go to kindergarten.
Or you can put the child in custody. With the company of the first three years, the child can adapt to the custody life well, and the mother can start working again.
Absolutely not recommended: let children follow their grandparents as left-behind children.
Recently, everyone knows the story of Zhang Zixin, a nine-year-old girl from Hangzhou. Her mother left her daughter when she was four years old. Later, she never came back to see her daughter, and there was no phone call. Her father works in Tianjin, and her children grow up with their grandparents.
Let's not talk about grandparents' parenting style for the time being. What kind of upbringing can we have? Just let the children eat and dress well.
Even the most basic security problems are difficult to guarantee. Of course, we didn't mean to blame the old man. After all, the elderly are old, and many times their thinking and energy really can't be strict with them.
It can only be said that giving the child to the old man is really desperate.
Personally, I think this question is not difficult to answer. After all, children come to this world for their parents, not for their grandparents. It's that simple.
Why do you say that?
So in view of this problem, it is still the suggestion at the beginning of the article. It's a matter of course that whoever gives birth takes care of it!
From the psychological point of view, this is also in line with the sub-topic idea advocated and suggested by psychology, that is, whoever handles the matter will handle it. Only by facing the topic of life separately can we experience a healthier and more relaxed life and advocate a better family relationship!
Thank you for inviting me!
If you want to say who should bring the children, you have to bring them yourself. According to the description of the subject, you should bring it yourself. My mother-in-law is strong and likes to tell her children that her mother doesn't want you. This is the biggest harm to her children and the most intolerable! Serious will lead to the shadow of the child for a lifetime!
As a mother, you should have ideas. If you are weak at this point, how can you set an example for your children? If I think I can stand it in other places, or I don't care, I should have my own position on children!
I think no matter what you do, my mother-in-law will have something to say to you. You'd better change yourself, don't be your enemy, and have your own attitude.
I am the mother of two children. These are my thoughts, for reference only!
Wish you all the best!