The liar’s sketch about the county magistrate is here.
Major leaks from the Spring Festival Gala sketch (the person responsible has been fired):
Zhao Benshan, Xiao Shenyang, Fan Wei, and Cai Ming collaborated on the popular sketch "Recruitment Scam" to help you see through all kinds of recruitment scams!
Facing the severe employment situation in 2010, it satirizes the current situation of deception in corporate recruitment!
Uncle Benshan sheds his image as a farmer, and Boss Ma returns to the battlefield; Fan Wei transforms into a workplace elite, and is deceived and unable to guard against it.
There is a large poster next to the boss's desk. The background of the picture is a photo of a South China tiger. It says: Ma's whitening agent is professional only for women. Do you have "ambition"? Do you want to be the "master"? Do you want to be the "boss"? Ma International is the "platform", "space" and "Jiangnan" for you to reach the peak of your life! An internationally renowned beauty technology group is recruiting several planners and designers, who require a full-time undergraduate degree or above. Below are two medals, "Supreme Beauty Award".
Cai: Chairman Ma, it’s not good. Our Ma’s whitening hormone has been investigated and punished by the industrial and commercial administration as a substandard product, and it is being publicized online.
Ma: What the hell? Don't be anxious or panic. And what’s more, Ma Dong Ma Dong, how many times have I told you, call me Chairman in front of people, and uncle in the office! I don't know, I thought the toilet was leaking again.
Cai: Uncle, what should we do?
Ma: Change the name, redesign the packaging, the Chinese New Year is coming soon, do a promotion or something. (Looking at the advertising poster) Just call it Tiger Whitening Essence!
Cai: How to promote it?
Ma: Where are the people you recruited?
Cai: I have an interview in the afternoon, and I have worked in a Fortune 500 company.
Ma: Then give him some blank paper and ask him to write a plan, more than 3,000 words.
(Fan above)
Fan: It’s so hard to find a job these days. I sent out more than 180 resumes online some time ago and only received 8 interview calls, three of which were still rejected. Since then, they all claim to be an international financial group that issues credit cards, sells insurance, and illegally speculates in foreign exchange. Recently, there is no one at all. I think my phone is broken and I call my number several times a day. When the economic crisis comes, the ranks of liars and thieves also expand. You also have to be wary of those who cheat money through recruitment, and don't go to anyone who collects money. Keep an eye on your bag, hold on to your money, and don’t let anyone take your phone and run away!
(SMS ringtone) Thank you for applying for the advertising planning position of Ma Enterprises International Group. Please come to the 18th floor of the International Building at 2 pm today for an interview.
Fan: This text message was sent very timely. I called you yesterday.
Cai: Hello, Ma International.
Fan: Hello, I’m here for an interview.
Cai: That's right. We have some test questions. You can do them first. After answering, here is an article about the media’s interview with our chairman. You should read it carefully. Then our chairman will conduct an interview in person.
(After reading the thick newspaper clipping)
Cai: Have you finished reading? Please come this way.
Ma: I read your plan and I really didn’t expect it.
Fan: Didn’t expect that? I didn’t expect it to be good or bad?
Ma: Now that you understand what I mean, am I still the boss?
Ma: Let me introduce the company first. The Mars Group is headquartered in Los Angeles, USA. It entered China in 1998 and established the Mars Future Laboratory Company in 2002, dedicated to life sciences, genetic engineering and health and beauty research. Our strategy is to establish 5 branches in the United States and Japan in 3-5 years, 15 branches in China in 3-5 years, and 88 core franchisees to provide professional services to global users. In such a rapid development process, talents are our greatest desire. I always believe that the most valuable minute is the minute invested in employees. Buffett said that life is like a snowball, the important thing is to find the long slope. I believe that Ma International is the longest slope on the road to success for you young people.
Fan: It’s a climb.
Ma: What are your strengths?
Fan: Planning.
Ma: Do you know that 4 trillion? There are so many zeros after 4, how many zeros can you plan for us?
Fan: Those are all major national projects, so they probably won’t work.
Ma: Ma International’s sales this year will exceed 800 million, and our goal is to become one of the world’s top 500 companies within five years! As a business leader, I entered the ranking list, but I haven’t been on the ranking list for many years.
Fan: Forbes?
Ma: That’s it. The company has entered the countdown to listing! To what Spartacus in the United States, here are the photos from our 2000-day countdown celebration.
Fan: Nasdaq?
Ma: Yes, enter Nasdaq.
Fan: Wait, how many years does 2,000 days make?
Ma: Forget it, we want everyone on earth to know that Ma International is going to be listed. (Take out a broken gong) Look, the gongs for the opening of the market are all ready.
(Bringing the gong to read) Fan: Does it look familiar? A monkey trick?
(The plan is given to Cai) Ma: For the design applicant, let him make a design draft according to the planning plan, and then check whether his idea is correct. It's a mule or a horse, take it out for a walk.
Ma: Test your observation skills. What would you say if, if, you had a huge fortune that you couldn't explain clearly?
Fan: What else? I’m a real estate speculator.
Ma: Let’s test your judgment again. You take the elevator up, and there is a diamond of different sizes at the door of the elevator on each floor from the first floor to the tenth floor. The elevator door will open once on each floor, and you can only get the diamond once. How can you get the biggest one?
Fan: If you think it’s too big, just take it as soon as possible. What if the elevator breaks down? What if there is a power outage?
Ma: When you answer questions in the interview, you must pause for 2 seconds to make sure you understand what I mean.
Cai: What do your last two questions mean?
Ma: It doesn’t mean anything. I just want him to go back in a daze.
Ma: Do you have any questions to ask?
Fan: What is the company’s annual leave like?
Ma: Annual leave? New Year's holiday? certainly.
Cai: He is talking about paid annual leave.
Ma: Paid? Not working? I have never received such a request for leave from an employee. In our city, don’t you know that people work on Saturdays?
Fan: How was the contract signed?
Ma: One sign per year, with a probation period of half a year.
Fan: The law stipulates that for a one-year contract, the probation period cannot exceed 2 months.
Cai: According to the new labor law, the probation period of a three-year contract can only be six months.
Ma: If you sign for three years, it’s no problem if you sign for ten years. The probation period is half a year.
Cai: After ten years, the contract becomes an open-ended contract.
Ma: Huh? Is there any fixed term? What kind of law is this?
Ma: Then three years. When the first year is almost up, let him feel bored and leave.
Cai: What if he still finds it interesting?
Ma: If he still finds it interesting, then I think you are boring.
Ma: How is your imagination?
Fan: I had a strange dream last night: It was almost Chinese New Year, and I asked someone to kill a cow. After killing it, the butcher asked me to take a few pieces of meat and leave; I refused, I took a lot of meat and sat there and ate several plates of beef hot pot. I had some left over and gave it to him.
Ma: I might be the one who slaughters cows. What are your salary requirements?
Fan: More than three thousand.
Ma: For our position, the annual salary is 100,000, which means the monthly salary must be more than 4,000. So that's it for today, nothing else for you to do, just go back and listen. The Chinese New Year is coming soon, it’s hard to find a job, and the expenses are still high. Anyone who asks for money through recruitment should be careful. No matter who picks you up in a car, asks an assistant to pick you up, or asks you to bring a laptop to the interview, you must be careful about your mobile phone being robbed of money and belongings and being defrauded.
Fan: Thank you for the reminder. goodbye.
(Fan below) (Shen above)
Shen: Chairman, why is this treatment different from what you said at the beginning?
Ma: Why is it different?
Shen: At that time, I asked you whether wages were paid on time, and you said, "Of course." I asked if you were strict about attendance, and you said, "It depends on the situation. Sometimes it can be flexible."
Ma: You must have remembered it wrong. You asked me if attendance was very strict, and I said of course. You asked me whether wages are paid on time. I said it depends on the situation, and sometimes it can be flexible.
Shen: I asked you if you have car allowances and meal allowances, which are meal subsidies and transportation subsidies. You replied, "Needless to say, it is definitely higher than your peers!" I asked you if you heard that the company works overtime. Much, you replied, "It's impossible, who told you that?"
Ma: You must have remembered it wrong again.
You ask me if my company works overtime, and I tell you, "Of course, it's definitely higher than my peers!" You ask me if there are meal subsidies and transportation subsidies, and my answer is "No way, who told you?" < /p>
(Sink)
(Phone rings)
Cai: Uncle, the management said that if you don’t pay the rent and water and electricity bills, they will pull down the gate and move the tables. What to do?
Ma: What to do? After packing their things, they were tired of living in this place, so the table was given to them. Will move in the afternoon.
Cai: What if someone asks?
Ma: I just said that I would go to the nursing home to express condolences to the lonely elderly people, give them warmth, and bring some bedding, fruits, and so on.
Cai: What should we do if the real estate agent finds us in the future?
Ma: Don’t worry. The one I signed on the contract is Master Ma! Not Marshal Ma! I learned it from the farmer who photographed tigers.
Horse: Let’s go quickly.