Once upon a time, a countryman lost an axe. He thought the neighbor's son stole it. So he paid attention to the man's words and deeds, and felt that he looked like an axe thief no matter how he walked or looked. Later, he found the axe, met his neighbor's son and looked at it carefully. He doesn't walk like an axe thief.
Sometimes people may make such mistakes because of their suspicious personality, and sometimes they will be embarrassed because of some misunderstandings. Sometimes this kind of mistake or embarrassment always exists because there is no opportunity to explain, and the misunderstanding between people is getting deeper and deeper.
Often when the truth of the matter is known, it is irreparable. The root cause is nothing more than the exaggeration of people's hearts, which can't cultivate peace and calmness. There is always that kind of "whispering" around everything, big and small, and everything is displayed incisively and vividly. After all, blowing in the wind is just a few days of idle discussion, but it shows a kind of humanity.
")。 " Lu's "Spring and Autumn Annals" says: "People who have axes are interested in the children next door, and their steps, colors, words, actions and manners are all about stealing axes. Stealing his valley and taking his axe, he saw his neighbor's son again and again, and his actions and attitudes were no different from those of an axe thief. " The same is true: because "I believe" the neighbor's son stole the axe, he looks like a thief; Later, I found the axe. I "believed" that my neighbor's son didn't steal it, so he didn't look like a thief at all. In this respect, experience perception and observation cannot correct beliefs, but beliefs can interfere with experience perception and observation. Once we decide that a text is "classic" ("believe"), even if it is extremely simple "the bright line at the foot of my bed" or "the moonlight in the pine forest", we will look for all kinds of evidence to prove its "classic" on the empirical level, even if we don't need to look for any evidence on the empirical level, we will decide that they are classics.
This also tells us that classics are the result of "ratification" and "sealing", and even put forward in the form of eulogy in memory and nostalgia. How can those ignorant people who are ready to "create classics" understand this truth? I tried my best to create classics, and all I got in the end was a pile of smelly garbage; Blurt out, handy, is not necessarily an awe-inspiring classic. Man is inferior to nature, because it is not a matter of "where there is a will, there is a way" to grasp the deep desire of an era and observe and cater to its trend. On the issue of classicalization, The Blind Cat Meets the Dead Mouse contains more profound truth and is more in line with the classical unconscious logic.
The story says: someone lost an axe, but he couldn't find it. Later, he thought it was stolen by his neighbor's son. He noticed that the neighbor's child behaved like a thief. So he decided that the boy had stolen the axe and said to himself, "I knew that guy was not a good guy." And then it was awkward? Fairy nest scar? What is your regret? Mom? What do you want? What happened? What is the word Joe Ska? Stealing k? ; What happened? ⒆ ⒆ ⒆ ⒆ ⒆ ⒆ ⒆ ⒆? Static steep knife? Yan Na forgives S's teasing? The nephew slaughtered the nuclear baggage? Pull out the knife that silently drags the emperor into stagnation? Please forgive me! ?
The man who lost his axe suspected that his neighbor's son had stolen his axe. The person who lost the axe subjectively lacked calmness and did not do investigation and research. It's really not advisable to suspect that the neighbor's child stole his axe on the basis of subjective imagination. Or the person who lost the axe is mentally retarded, suspicious and even hostile to his neighbors. It's really a sad thing to live together and not trust each other. Everyone should first build themselves with trust, and then trust each other. Without "trust", there is no personal value. Without "trust", there is no human society. Today's honesty is the moral bottom line of being a man and the fundamental guarantee of a harmonious society. Fortunately, the person who lost the axe suspected that the neighbor's psychology was not shown. In case he said to someone, "The axe I lost must have been stolen by a neighbor's child." Then spread his suspicion to the child's ear, will you fight or not?
A lot of friction between neighbors is caused by suspicion, and gossip will not lead a good life. A friend of mine lives in a residential area. There are several transnational marriages in this residential area, and people with long tongues say they are foreigners. As long as you take it out, you will be dismissed. If it is ugly, it will be even worse. As a result, everyone was too quiet. Who do you think I'm listening to? He said who told me that she was not the eldest daughter, and she couldn't produce any evidence. In the end, no one spoke to anyone, touching her face every day and crossing the road without talking. What's the point?
Nothing in the world is difficult for one who sets his mind to it. Don't make trouble. Gentleman, heedless of the wind, roll with the punches and roll with the punches. Everyone will live in harmony. As soon as the villain hears a little wind, he will embellish it, spread his wife's tongue and say something mean, and the neighbors will fight. He'll watch the fun. This is the black sheep.
Living in harmony with neighbors is a science. Everyone should calm down and learn this knowledge well to have a good living environment. Never live in a good neighborhood, just because you are unhappy and waste a good room.
Life revelation]
When you encounter problems, you should make a judgment after investigation and study, and you must not blindly doubt without foundation. Doubt in a skeptical way often leads to illusion. The same is true of judging a person. Don't judge others by your subjective imagination. Too strong subjective consciousness often leads to mistakes and deviations in understanding people.
In real life, most leaders often appoint a person with subjective consciousness in the use of talents, without objective and fair assessment. Emotion is a taboo for leaders. Leaders should not be preconceived about people and things, look at people with colored glasses, and don't be a gentleman with a villain's heart, otherwise the company will lose many outstanding talents.
Doubt is not a rare character defect. In order to eliminate doubts, we must first understand how doubts arise. From the psychological point of view, doubt is a subjective imagination that does not conform to the facts and a negative self-suggestion psychology. Suspicious people often subjectively assume a certain point of view, and then draw many unrelated phenomena together through the so-called "reasonable imagination" to prove the correctness of their views. In order to achieve this goal, they can even create some phenomena out of thin air. Really guess, guess, guess, guess, guess. After understanding this truth, you can overcome your doubts from the following aspects:
Keep a cool head. In real life, many suspects are exposed, which is ridiculous. But it debunks
Previously, due to the negative self-suggestion of the skeptics, I felt that things were logical. For example, the "axe killer" in the idiom "the suspect stole an axe" stubbornly regards the normal behavior of his neighbors as abnormal, and replaces the objective facts with his own subjective speculation instead of maintaining a calm and objective analytical attitude. Therefore, keeping a calm and objective attitude to observe, analyze and think about problems is one of the ways to eliminate doubts. Of course, it is not easy to do this. In addition to giving up the original hypothesis when observing, in order to prevent this ancestor-centered hypothesis from generating psychological stereotypes, we should also keep in mind the old saying that "the authorities are fascinated, the bystanders are clear" and ask some people we trust to help us analyze it, thus eliminating some ridiculous ancestral views.
(2) Pay attention to investigation and study. With suspicion, we should pay attention to strengthening investigation and research. The investigation should follow the principle of seeking truth from facts. As the saying goes, "Listening is empty, seeing is believing". You can't hear what others say, and you will have doubts.
Based on what you see. In addition, sometimes what you see is not necessarily true, so it takes some time and energy to find out the substantive things.
(3) Be open and honest in time. Suspicion is often the result of lack of communication with each other, artificial psychological barriers, misunderstanding or gossip. If we understand this, we should have an open talk with the suspect in an appropriate way. There is no point in saving face on this issue. On the contrary, if you can tell the other person sincerely, the other person may not think that this is your distrust of him. He can even further see your trust in him from your sincerity, so as to bury the hatchet and respect you more. And if you lock doubts in your chest, it will only deepen contradictions and worsen each other's feelings.
(4) Insist on being lenient with others. Most suspicious people are not demanding of themselves, but demanding of others.
Very demanding. For example, you are not happy to see others talking behind your back. In other words, other people's communication methods must be in line with your wishes. Isn't it a bit too demanding? For example, if you see that the teacher is sometimes cold to you, you are not happy. In other words, is it a bit unreasonable for you to ask the teacher to be always enthusiastic about your behavior and not to change it because of his or her own psychological state?