I think of a classic line in "The Queen of the Palace": If you don't like it, you will live longer. This sentence comes from the queen. The story shows that when the queen was having dinner with the emperor, the emperor was interested in a bowl of soup. When he wanted to drink the third bowl, he was politely stopped by the queen. Then he said this, and the emperor's face was unhappy. I think the emperor is bound by the queen, so he might as well play with other concubines. After all, other concubines just want to be loved. I think the key is "moderation". The understanding of moderation is excessive restraint and excesses, which will not last long in the end. This involves the problem of "degree", which needs us to grasp properly and remember: too much is too late.
Just like between people, no matter how good the relationship is, we must be measured. A person who is good at keeping proper limit always makes people feel comfortable when interacting with others. On the contrary, a person who doesn't know the boundaries is embarrassing and even inevitable. It is most comfortable to have a good proper limit with others and never get tired of looking at each other and getting along. No matter how close the relationship is, even between husband and wife, we should keep a sense of proportion. You can't dispose of his things without authorization, because they are his, not yours. When you encounter a problem, you can't hurt each other with words without a bottom line or occasion. That is a man's face and dignity. Without proper limit, we can't grasp the scale, that is, we don't care about and respect people. No matter how close the relationship is, no matter how small the incident is, it will be screwed up and even irreparable.
Have a bottom line thinking. No matter how good the relationship is, it's not up to you personally. You must respect all aspects of them, starting from controlling the discretion and starting from every detail: you can't enjoy and dispose of other people's things at will, you must ask for their consent carefully; The privacy of others, you can't easily leak and spread, you must be careful to protect the privacy of others; You can't control and restrict the freedom of others at will, but you must let them be themselves moderately; You can't promise and promise others' infatuation casually, but you must keep your distance from them knowingly. No matter how good the relationship is, you can't do whatever you want without proper restrictions and a sense of distance. Without discretion and distance, the relationship between the two sides will not only get closer, but will only get farther and farther. This appropriate measure and distance is the most difficult "degree" to grasp.
The golden mean is the highest emotional intelligence. The wisdom of life is six words: knowing the limit, knowing the advance and retreat. Everyone is a complex individual. They have their own thoughts, preferences, privacy, personality and ways of doing things. You speak frankly, but it doesn't mean that you don't care about the occasion, don't talk about the way, leave no room, tell people what to do, force others to do it, or have no talent. When you talk to people, it doesn't mean that you are talkative, short-sighted, unreserved, even prying into other people's privacy, or clinging to other people's mistakes. Big and small things, family ties, must be measured. To "never give up, never give up, never stop" and give others a chance to live is to give yourself a road. A moderately strong person makes people feel comfortable and warm no matter where they go or what they do.
For the rest of my life, I would like to be the most measured person, illuminate myself just right with the measured light and win a smooth life.