Internet celebrity humorous short sentences
Internet celebrity humorous short sentences, in our daily life, we will find that many people like to say some humorous sentences, these sentences Let’s learn about the relevant information about Internet celebrities’ humorous phrases that often make us laugh. Internet celebrity humorous phrases 1
1. I usually read books because I have a thirst for knowledge, and I read before exams because I have a desire to survive.
2. Don’t say I’m immature. When I mature, I will naturally fall off the tree.
3. Is there anyone who has a crush on me? Those of you who have a crush on me, don’t be shy, say your love out loud!
4. Please, Yue Lao, please don’t use inferior threads to hold me in the future. The threads will break every now and then.
5. Anyone who can shout it loudly is the truth, and anyone who can recognize it from afar is a fat person.
6. Do you think I’m not good-looking? If I were the most beautiful person in the world, I wouldn’t fall in love with you.
7. No matter what kind of scourge you become in the future, in grandma’s eyes you will always be a little yellow dog who can’t get enough to eat.
8. There are two me in the world, one who works hard intermittently and one who is constantly degenerate and indulgent.
9. Look at what your child looks like. The shape of your head is wrong, the shape of your head is wrong for your face, the shape of your face is wrong for your neck, and the shape of your neck is wrong for your body. You are simply a deformity!
10. Even if a beautiful person makes a mistake, it is easy for others to forgive him. Ugly people cannot be forgiven by others just because of their appearance, let alone whether they have made a mistake or not.
11. The night gave me a black mouse, but I used it to play games until dawn.
12. Some people say that 99% of things in the world can be solved with money, but what they fail to say is that solving the remaining 1% requires more money.
13. I used to think that people who rely on connections must be very incompetent. After contacting them, I found that they are better than you in everything.
14. If poverty limits your imagination, why can you still come up with so many ways to save money?
15. Come and confess your love to me if you like me. People will always experience the feeling of being rejected by a beautiful woman in this life.
16. Swearing is a profound knowledge, not everyone can try it casually, so don’t work in vain.
17. My mother often tells me: When looking for a partner, don’t just look at other people’s appearance, but also look at your own appearance. Others are not blind. This is really heartbreaking.
18. If you can’t get over the hurdles in life, you will find yourself in the valley of despair; if you pass them, there will be new hurdles waiting for you.
19. They are used to criticizing you behind your back. That’s because they don’t have the capital to confront you face to face. You are a winner, don’t be afraid.
20. Getting express delivery feels like reuniting with a long-lost relative, but often after taking it apart, you find that the child looks like Lao Wang next door.
21. I just made a very risky investment. If it succeeds, I can earn hundreds of millions in one go. If it fails, my two dollars will be wasted.
22. Girls often want to find a white horse, but when they open their eyes, they find that the world is full of gray donkeys.
23. When they are passionately in love, couples often lament what virtues they have accumulated in their previous lives; after getting married, couples often wonder what sins they have committed in their previous lives.
24. There is a scene that often appears in Korean dramas. The heroine’s head is leaning against the bus glass. It looks very beautiful, so I shyly tried it when I took the bus and almost broke my head. Shock.
25. Working overtime and forgetting to eat and sleep may sometimes be a sign of lack of efficiency and work ability.
26. Be humble, listen to other people’s opinions, and then carefully write down who has opinions about you.
27. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have human thoughts. If a pig has human thoughts, it is not a pig, it is Bajie.
28. You can resist not looking for him, but you can’t not reply when he looks for you.
29. You cannot look back and make the same mistakes again. You must look forward and make new mistakes if you want to.
30. Nowadays, parents allow their children to participate in various interest classes since childhood, in order to prevent their children from losing at the starting line. However, as everyone knows, some people are born at the finishing line.
31. If you feel nauseous and retching while brushing your teeth, stop brushing in front of the mirror.
32. For lazy and delicious people like me, the only way to lose weight is to poop more.
33. When urging food, saying "No more" is more effective than "Hurry up"; when bargaining, saying "Let's see" is more effective than "Cheaper"; When trying to retain someone, saying "You're leaving" is more effective than "Don't be like this".
34. In the past, mail was very slow, and you could only love one person in a lifetime. Now, with the advanced Internet technology, you can love fifty people a day.
35. The three major tragedies of a dinner party: the people you wanted to invite did not come, the people who came had nothing to do with you, and you were the only one left awake when the bill came.
36. When I was a child, I felt that I was special, but when I grew up, I realized that I was very ordinary.
37. Don’t think that just because you have a face like Ximen Qing’s, you can pursue her. She is not Pan Jinlian.
38. Only when you grow up do you realize that there are so many phobias of choice when buying things, isn’t it just because you are poor?
39. Stop talking about the ideal of meeting the right person at the best age. I just want to get something for nothing at the best age, be able to spend time at any time, and lie down anywhere.
40. You are my sleeping pill, but sometimes it fails, giving me headaches and discomfort.
41. If you can’t eat at night, why is there a light in the refrigerator?
42. The one with money and looks is called a male god, the one with money but no looks is called husband, the one with looks but no money is called Lanyan. As for the one with no money and no looks... I'm sorry, you are a good person.
43. I have always emphasized the need to be low-key, but you insist on giving me applause and screams.
44. In high school, I had enough money to spend but not enough sleep; in college, I had enough sleep but not enough money to spend; now that I am working, I have not enough money to spend and not enough sleep.
45. After returning from a quick trip, nothing has changed except that what needs to be done has been delayed even longer.
46. You blame me for breaking the lights in your house, but if I didn’t break the lights, how could I discredit and kiss you?
47. Just be sad for a while. Time is so precious, so don’t waste it on being sad.
48. If you are not suitable, you are poor; if you don’t feel it, you are ugly; if you fall in love at first sight, you are good-looking; if you think deeply, you are rich. This is reality.
49. Why should we work hard to make money? Because you are afraid of shaking hands with others, they are wearing Cartier and you are wearing a rubber band.
50. Have you eaten enough? Is it really enough? Want some more? Aren't you afraid of holding on? Feel like you're about to pull out?
51. I want to guard you every step of the way, but I’m afraid you’ll eat shit if I take a step away.
52. I have mastered 100 ways to love my girlfriend, but now I am missing a girlfriend.
53. The farthest distance in the world is not life and death, but that I am invisible and you are online, but you are online and I am invisible.
54. Be sure to remember those people who chat with you until late at night. It is because of them that you stay up late and have dark circles under your eyes and bad skin.
55. I originally wanted to eat my sorrow one bite at a time, but unexpectedly I became fat one bite at a time.
56. Remember those people who chat with you until late at night. It is because of them that you have such heavy dark circles and bad skin.
57. The so-called love words are saying something that you don’t even believe yourself, but hope that the other person will believe it.
58. My mother said, don’t fall in love prematurely. All you are talking about now and in the future will be other people’s wives. When I heard this, I thought, Ouch, someone else’s wife. It’s exciting just thinking about it.
59. Things cannot be delayed, words cannot be spoken too much, and people cannot act. Don’t think about, don’t ask, and don’t talk about things that have nothing to do with you.
60. Maybe time is the best antidote. You see, I can’t remember the day you lent me money last week.
61. Only by knowing yourself, surrendering yourself, and changing yourself can you change others.
62. You can’t hide something you like. Even if you cover your mouth, saliva will still overflow from your fingers.
63. When I fall down on the street and people around me laugh at me, I get up and fall a few more times to make them laugh to death.
64. The weather was getting cold. After waking up from the cold, I quietly lifted off the quilt of my roommate.
65. When you are young, try not to fall in love prematurely. You will know too early that you are unattractive, ugly and short, which will affect your exams.
66. What is more lonely than eating hot pot alone is eating hot pot alone without money!
67. Every time I prepare to trick my friends from behind, they always notice my arrival in advance. Maybe my poor voice betrays me.
68. What people want to see is not you at the starting line, but you at the end.
69. We are not good at expressing, so we are used to guessing.
70. As the saying goes, everything is difficult at the beginning. As long as you get through the beginning, you will find that it is also difficult in the middle and even harder at the end.
71. You get amnesia when you enter the examination room, and you get paranoia when you leave the examination room!
72. My mother has told me since I was little that I should not make friends who are neither trivial nor trivial. I think I have done this, and I have done it very well. Because all my friends are very stupid.
73. There are two of you in the world, one is good at communication, cheerful and generous, and the other is half-dead and very lonely.
74. Girls with fat hands, don’t worry, the gold rings your boyfriend will give you when you grow up will be bigger!
75. The new year has begun, and my single life has also had a new beginning.
76. When you meet someone you like, you must confess it. It doesn’t matter if you are ugly. What if he is blind? Sooner or later, a blind person will fall in love with you and treat you too well.
77. If you are born with beauty, why should you be bright? If you are born with delicious food, why should you be fat? If you are born with bangs, why should you be born with strong wind? If you are born with me, why not be born with my partner!
78. I really don’t understand why I can eat so fat even though I am so poor!
79. A woman chases a man with a separate gauze, and a man chases a female with a separate mother. Maybe there will be a separate car and a suite!
80. In fact, I deliberately didn’t grow taller because I’m afraid of heights. I’d be scared if I looked too tall. Internet celebrity humorous phrases 2
1. MMD, I have never seen such a long and archaeological value.
2. If you chase me naked for two kilometers, even if I look back, I will be considered a gangster!
3. There is an ancient legend on the other side of the mountain, from the past to the present. All have become classics. Do you want to know what this legend is? Listen up: there is a temple in the mountains, and there is an old Taoist in the temple, who is reading text messages and giggling right now!
4. Your parents should use those ten minutes for a walk !
5. Why does the moon look at you and laugh at you for being a SB.
6. You will definitely die. Second line: A man is shameless and invincible. He criticizes: A man is so worthless that I will slap you to the wall and you will not be able to buckle him down!!!
7. If a tree doesn't want its bark, it will definitely die. If a person doesn't have any shame, it will be invincible.
8. When my heart is beautiful, it is snowing; when my heart is moved, the wind is blowing; when my heart is warm, the sun is rising; when my heart is excited, it is falling into the water. What water? Saliva. My eulogy is just a parrot knocking on Chang'an Garden. ?彀雅尰? sang?⌒Na stack stool only!
9. Listening to you speak, a sense of superiority in IQ arises spontaneously!
10. You talk about you, Grandpa, I will teach you how to practice swordsmanship. If you practice swordsmanship, if you don’t practice on the sword, practice on the sword! If you don’t practice on the gold sword, practice on the silver sword!
11. The long night is so difficult, I really want to fly to around you. Admire your lovely sleeping face, stroke your soft hair, and keep looking at you until dawn when you open your eyes, and then whisper to you gently: "You wet the bed!"
Twelve , The long flying sand and stone are miraculous workmanship
13. The meaning of your life is: eat well and sleep well; your regret in this life is: not losing the fat on your body; your greatest contribution in this life is: years. Your vermicelli stew is indispensable at the dinner table! Humanity will be forever grateful to you!
14. You rushed into a certain unit angrily and shouted: Is this the Animal Protection Association? Staff: Yes, please excuse me. Who bullied you?
15. I didn’t say you were shameless, I meant that shameless people are like you.
16. Were you kissed by a pig when you were a child?
17. From a distance, you look like a beautiful woman smiling shyly in the wind, but up close, you turn out to be an old demon with bones. Playing tricks; from a distance you look like a handsome guy dancing gracefully, but up close it turns out to be Bajie who has had plastic surgery and is very sad; it’s the weekend, don’t scare me so much that I can’t sleep!
18. You are wearing a Madai, with the pot lid on your head, you think you are Dongfang Invincible, but in fact you are the fool Er Gai! Damn it!
19. I had a dream last night, and you were the protagonist! In the dream You are chasing the pig while holding a kitchen knife and panting. But the pig suddenly knelt down and begged for mercy and said: We are born from the same root, so why rush to fry each other!
20. If you were a flower, the cow would not dare to poop.
21. You didn’t contact me on the weekend. Have you forgotten: without my company, your mood must be painful and gloomy, happiness is destined to miss you, and you will live with tears in your eyes. Lonely and helpless, I can only keep company with pigs!
22. A cricket made a bet with the pig: If I jump into the grass, you can’t see me. The pig said: Should I be able to see? So the cricket Jump into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pigs are still watching! Why are the pigs still watching?!
23. Comparing wages with wages, forget it and don’t want to live anymore. Comparing your heart with your heart, forget it and don’t care. Comparing the stars with the stars is just a dazzling sight. Comparing apes to apes, forget it, it’s you. Have a great weekend and stay young forever.
24. You are so shameless and heartless, you should be very light, right?
25. Were you thrown up when you were born? 3 times but only caught 2 times?
26. You waste air when alive and waste land when dead.
Twenty-seven, ducks are too noisy and always like to quack, kittens are too coquettish and always meow, puppies are barking and are always too noisy; after all, you are still the best, Even on weekends, I stay in the circle and sleep. Happy weekend!
Twenty-eight, you go shopping, have a candlelight dinner, and feel romantic. The problem is that I don’t have any, so you lend me 0.01 million first, and wait until I fulfill my promise!
Twenty-nine, it looks very science fiction, and it looks very abstract!
Thirty, I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people, one is extremely beautiful and the other is like you. Internet celebrity humorous phrases 3
1. The best way to ruin a good song is to set it as a wake-up alarm.
2. If two people are together for a long time, it is also romantic to stare at each other.
3. The so-called good man means that he is not allowed to act cool to his wife, and is not allowed to make her jealous. He must give in when quarreling, and he must hold on even when he is beaten!
4. Commitments are like farts, earth-shattering at the time, but pale and feeble afterwards. Fortunately, I am ugly and have not experienced your love and hate.
5. If you regard me as a game, I will cheat and torture you to death.
6. Those who are conceited will always involuntarily crow among the cranes.
7. Do you know why beauties have had such a bad life since ancient times? That's because no one cares how long ugly people live.
8. When you are in a bad mood, sing in the toilet.
9. A brain is a good thing, but if you have big breasts, you can do without one.
10. It is said that a man has gold under his knees. I almost rubbed the skin off and couldn’t even find a piece of iron!
11. I am a very emotional person. When I lost my feelings, I realized that I am a very emotional person!
12. There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, and I can’t stop even if there is a road.
13. Life is your own, don’t live in other people’s eyes and saliva; not all speeches need to be understood by others, and not all choices need support from others.
14. I used to think that being poor for three generations meant that you would no longer be poor after three generations. When you grow up, you realize that you are so poor that you can’t even marry a wife. There is no fourth generation.
15. There are so many people scattered, why bother yourself to feel sad.
16. In fact, ancient people were quite optimistic. They spent all their free time thinking about how to live forever. Modern people calm down and collapse on the bed after a busy day, with only four words in their hearts: they don’t want to live anymore.
17. As long as there is express delivery on the way, I feel that there is still some hope in this life.
18. You are a troublesome person, you just want to harm me.
19. Don’t talk nonsense with me here. I think the dog’s barking is too unpleasant.
20. Women in the new era can go to the hall, scale the wall, fight the mistress, and beat the gangster, but they can't get out of the kitchen.
21. People who tolerate are not stupid, they just prefer to be cruel to themselves.
22. If you are unhappy, tell us to make everyone happy.
23. People say that companionship is the longest confession of love. In fact, being good-looking is companionship, and being ugly is entanglement.
24. In the chaotic passing years, I don’t know how many flowers I have missed in my life; in the world of mortals, I don’t know how many passers-by I have passed by. In the rush of life, we are always reincarnated between misses and gains. Although, I miss the beautiful purples and reds when we first met in life; however, the story always has a sad ending.
25. The typhoon is coming. Please take care of your girlfriends. If it hits my house, I will not give it back!
26. Only when I pay the phone bill can I feel that what I say can be so valuable!
27. The secret to staying young is to have a restless heart.
28. Boring people will choose to rot together, but interesting people will thrive together.
29. The pain of myopia: Hermaphrodite is seen ten meters away, humans and animals are indistinguishable from twenty meters away, and six relatives are not recognized from thirty meters away.
30. When I was a child, I used money to go to school to make ends meet. When I grow up, I go to work and make money to make ends meet.
31. Never quarrel with your parents. If you win, you will be beaten. If you lose, you will be scolded. You lose anyway!
32. The peacock opened its tail desperately, but its butt-eye was exposed!
33. Everything in this world can be fake, but the only thing I cannot tolerate is that the money in my hand is also fake.
34. Nowadays, many men have become pure men, and many women have become pure men.
35. If life deceives you, don’t be sad or impatient. Just be deceived a few more times and it will become a natural habit.
36. The premise for me to be good to you is that you are also good to me. As I get older, I don’t have time to do unilateral output.
37. I would rather you hold other women and miss me than you hold me and miss other women.
38. Studying is my wife, and my mobile phone is my concubine. I often think about my concubine when I am with my wife, and I feel ashamed of my wife when I am with my concubine.
39. I usually don’t dump ugly girls, but you are an exception.
40. If sleeping is to recharge the human body, then I would like to say that I have never been satisfied.
41. Don’t be too self-righteous. If you fall, there will be thousands of people who can replace you.
42. Deep affection is always betrayed, only ruthless ones will be missed repeatedly.
43. How can a girl like me hold down such a beautiful face without any weight? What if you are so beautiful?
44. Only by enduring hardship can one become a master. I don’t want to be a master, but the sufferings in this world still cannot let me go.
45. If you like me, just blink your eyes. If you don’t like me, just put your left foot on your right shoulder.
46. I still like you very much, like a dog that can’t stop eating shit and can’t help it.
47. I was also an infatuated person back then, but it rained and I drowned.
48. I once passed by a person, sparks flew and almost moved bricks.
49. You don’t have a medical qualification certificate, so why do you think I’m crazy?
50. Don’t talk big words all day long, and act cool when you go out. If you don’t have diamonds, don’t take the porcelain job. You talk like farts, and farts still smell. You don’t even smell!
51. What people know is life, what people don’t know is art.
52. People who used to be recognized even if they turned into ashes are now unrecognizable with makeup.
53. Everyone praises me for being virtuous and knowing nothing in my spare time.
54. Women save private money in order to spend it on their husbands in the future, while men save private money in order to spend it on other women in the future.
55. We cannot extend the length of life, but we can broaden the width of life. It means: We can no longer grow taller, but we can gain unlimited fat.
56. I am charming and brave, far-sighted and down-to-earth, I have good taste but am diligent and introspective. Although I have many shortcomings, I hope everyone will forgive me!
57. Women are anxious when men do not make money, and regret when men make money.
58. In fact, there is no need to read all travel guides. They can be condensed into four words: bring more money.
59. If you are well, I will have a spare tire until you grow old.
60. We are best friends. I will help you when you fall, but you have to wait until I finish laughing first.
61. Even though you have complex facial features, you can’t hide your simple IQ.
62. Even if you have a fever at home, you will still surf the Internet. If you sneeze at school, you will think it is late-stage cancer.
63. Life is like poop, and we are intoxicated in it like dung beetles.
64. Youth is like a skunk. You think you have caught its tail, but in fact all you smell is the smell of fart.
65. I envy those people who are cold and heartless and leave as soon as they say it. I can’t do that. I have to get you something to eat when I leave.
66. The leather factory will collapse and my sister-in-law will run away. My love for you will last until I grow old.
67. Eating at home is called eating. Eating at school and work is purely for survival!
68. During the Qingming Festival, it rains heavily. I meet a charming girl on the road. I smile and ask where her home is. The girl points to the grave on the mountain.
69. Everyone who shakes his legs has a sewing machine in his heart.
70. Losing weight is not that easy. Every pound of meat has its own temper. After the age of not losing weight, it is better to give up if you struggle.
71. When I was a child, when I saw my parents’ wedding photos on the wall, I was not in them. I always thought it was because I was too young to climb such a high wall!
72. When I forgot to bring money for dinner, I told my boss to make up for it next time, but the boss didn’t want to! I got angry and called more than 10 waiters and finally got the money for the meal!
73. The egg-laying rooster is the fighting chicken among roosters.
74. I have no ability to pick up girls, but I am a girl.
75. When your life is not going well, don’t panic, just look at your wallet and savings, and just cry.
76. Sincerity does not mean blaming others for their shortcomings, but it does mean that you must not compliment others' shortcomings.
77. Don’t talk about feelings with me. Talking about feelings will hurt your money.
78. Why do you always meet scumbags? Think about it carefully. Is it because you are too beautiful?
79. If I go down one day, remember, I will come back to you.
80. Whenever the teacher asked a question, I would lower my head and pretend to pick something up. I persisted for many years.
81. Don’t live up to the suffering you have suffered. As a kind and hard-working person, you will definitely get all the good things you have dreamed of.