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Call my mother at night and listen to her say a shocking thing:
Our teenage neighbor, Uncle Cui, took a lot of sleeping pills at home and died after being taken to the hospital, leaving a helpless wife and two children who were studying.
When I was a child, I remembered that Uncle Cui was honest and sincere, which was what my parents admired most about him.
Because of the neighborhood, my brother and I received many toys he bought, so we also like this kind uncle very much.
Later, I went south to Dongguan, and after many twists and turns, I finally opened an electronic parts processing factory in partnership with my colleagues, with little success.
Even if he becomes a big boss, he is still gentle and polite. He came back from vacation to see his parents and never forgot to come to our house.
But last year, his company partner suddenly withdrew his capital and took away a large number of customers.
His company immediately encountered a crisis of broken capital chain, and many orders could not be processed as scheduled, so he had to borrow a lot of money, mortgage real estate and sell fund shares.
Even when I was desperate, I borrowed some high-interest loans to tide over the crisis.
However, it backfired. Because of working late at night, the quality of the products produced can not meet the standards agreed in the contract, so many customers put forward to return them. Business is going from bad to worse.
The high liquidated damages and debts, as well as the backlog of inventory, have become a lingering shadow in Uncle Cui's heart.
He runs around every day, reconciling in many ways. Because of his popularity on weekdays, many people helped him, but all of them had little effect.
This year, creditors of high-interest loans and some suppliers came to collect money, which is undoubtedly worse for his already riddled company.
The huge debt and the debt-ridden mess finally overwhelmed his last will to survive, so he swallowed more than half a bottle of sleeping pills.
After listening to my mother, I feel very heavy. She also choked up on the phone:
What a nice person Xiao Cui is. Why can't she pass? As long as people live, what obstacles can't be crossed?
Although Uncle Cui doesn't read widely, he is down-to-earth and works hard to win on him. There is such a big boss in the village, which was once the pride of the villagers.
He can run such a large processing factory for so many years, which shows that his emotional intelligence and IQ are higher than ordinary people.
It's just that in adversity, he failed to bear the pain of falling from heaven to hell, failed to gain the courage to generate from adversity, and failed to get away with it. The resulting tragedy is inevitable.
02
Su Shi's sentence in "On Chiayi" has impressed me so far:
A gentleman takes a long distance and must wait for it; Be patient when you are older.
It is said that if people want to achieve great things, they must wait for the opportunity. Even in difficult situations, they must be patient and patient.
Some people say that emotional intelligence and IQ are the cornerstones of a person's success, which determine a person's pattern and the height of life.
But no one can guarantee that life will be safe and smooth. If you are desperate, you won't have the courage to bear it, and you will never live. How can we talk about success and height?
Therefore, emotional intelligence and IQ can only help you achieve great things easily and add icing on the cake to your success; What really determines the pattern of your life is your attitude towards adversity and your adversity quotient.
According to the research of American professional trainer Dr. Paul Stoz, adversity quotient (AQ) often represents our ability to cope with adversity and is a person's highest tolerance for setbacks and difficulties.
The higher a person's AQ is, the more he can face adversity with a flexible attitude, be positive and calm, accept challenges and try his best to find solutions, so he can persevere and face setbacks bravely, and finally perform well.
The fire of Chu Qiao Biography, which was broadcast not long ago, earned enough tears and word of mouth from the audience.
I think what attracts the audience most is not the plot, but Chu Qiao, who is constantly growing and changing in adversity, and her super-high adversity quotient cultivated in desperation.
She is a slave girl and lives like dirt. She was chased by wolves, targeted by high-ranking masters, bullied by slaves with higher status, and repeatedly despaired.
Fighting spies, confronting the enemy and being trapped in Hongchuan City, her life was dying several times, but she never gave in to fate and never gave up her struggle against adversity. She said:
Even if you live like a dog. Only by living can you get back what belongs to you.
Come to this man-eating world, if you want to live, you can only kill the man-eating beast first.
Through the enemy, through betrayal, through despair, through all the weaknesses and kindness in character, and finally become a sword, only in this way can we finally stand at the peak of that king.
In the struggle against adversity, her goal gradually changed from "just want to live simply" to "release slaves and stop fighting";
Then her pattern was further expanded, and finally she was honed into a female general and a beautiful king who cared about the world and guarded the people of Yanbei.
Like Chu Qiao, people in adversity, even if they struggle in difficulties, even if they can't see any hope, can survive, because for them, they are hope.
03
And there is such a high-adversity quotient girl, Ian mccullough, around me. We all agree that she is a living modern Chu Qiao.
Ian mccullough, my age, is a colleague of my former company and joined the company on the same day. Because of the same personality and hobbies, she became good friends.
After getting to know each other, she told me about the hard and bleak days she had spent.
In the summer vacation of Grade Two, my father had an affair, and my tough mother vowed not to accept my father's confession and resolutely divorced.
Since then, my father seems to be a different person. His tenderness and care for her in the past no longer exists, only his ferocious face when fighting with his mother for a house, a car and a deposit.
In desperation, the mother had to sue for divorce and collect evidence of her father's infidelity day and night. The lawsuit went back and forth for nearly a year, and it didn't end until the eve of the college entrance examination.
The mother won the case, and the custody was awarded to her, but the father failed to get a penny from her.
As a child, she was regarded as a hero and the father of the closest person. In a rage, she ran home and smashed all the furniture, including the violin her father gave her on her twelfth birthday, which she regarded as a treasure.
She looked at the father in horror, like a robber and gangster, which was even more unbelievable.
At that moment, the happy world that I had built in my heart collapsed, as if I were living in a nightmare all day.
Mother never remarried for her. The meager salary is struggling to support her college tuition, and her mother in her forties seems to be in her fifties.
In the third year of high school, my mother was seriously ill, and her little happiness was gradually eroded by reality. She even fell into depression for a time.
But she knew that she still wanted to live, and so did her mother.
So she found a job close to home to take care of her sick mother. When you have time, go to a stall and save money to treat your mother.
She said that it was the hardest and darkest time in her life, and she was not qualified to cry in the face of her sick mother.
Fortunately, her mother's condition gradually improved, and she took her mother to Shenzhen.
She often read books until two or three in the morning, and finally she was admitted to the Finance Department of Shenzhen District of Xiamen University.
Because of her considerable academic qualifications, solid professional knowledge and strong English listening, speaking, reading and writing skills, she quickly changed her job and entered a multinational financial consulting company in Qianhai, and her salary was several times higher than before.
Then, at the right time, she quickly found a suite in Longhua New District of Shenzhen, sold the house in her hometown, borrowed money from relatives to make a down payment, and settled in Shenzhen. She said:
At that time, for my mother's illness, I wanted to make money to treat her. Later, I thought, I can't change the fact that my parents divorced, but at least I can change my situation and fate with my mother. I didn't know I could do so much and go so far without going through these years of pain.
People in adversity often see not the difficulty itself, but any tiny opportunity and the possibility of breakthrough in the predicament.
Know how to rely on your tenacity and wisdom to open a successful gap for your desperate fate, and know that without those painful past and the burden of those years, there will be no stability in the future years, and life will not be so full and heavy.
And these perceptions and actions of adversity often determine your life pattern and how far you can go in this life.
04
Every time I drive through Bantian, Shenzhen, I can't help but admire the magnificent Huawei base standing under the blue sky. For decades, it has been the pride of Shenzhen and China.
Ren said at the 20th anniversary staff meeting of Huawei:
It's not terrible to fall, what's terrible is that you can't stand up again. Adversity can exercise and achieve a person best. Only by constantly surpassing adversity can we get closer to success.
At the age of 44, he was cheated of 2 million because of his decision-making mistakes during his tenure. He was dismissed by the state-owned Nanyou Group, and his request to stay was rejected. He is also burdened with a foreign debt of 2 million pounds.
At that time, his wife divorced him, and he lived with his parents, brother and sister in a shack in Shenzhen.
Even in such a difficult time, he never gave up on himself, but tried his best to build Huawei.
He once wrote a book "My Mom and Dad", recalling his bitter life and difficult experience of starting a business, and summing up his decades of experience and sentiment.
Then he spent more than 20 years developing Huawei into the world's top 500; And he himself has been rated as the most influential person in the country and even the world for many times, and has been on the Forbes list for many times.
20 17 On June 6th, BrandZ 2065 438+07 list of the most valuable global brands 100 was released, and Huawei ranked 49th.
His pattern has made his career map, even his lifelong ideal, and all this is entirely due to his persistence, calmness and perseverance in adversity. It is these experiences of tempering and rising in suffering that make every step he takes valuable.
In fact, life is like a swing, with ups and downs. When you get up, you should be prepared to fall. Have confidence when you fall.
As General Patton, who made outstanding achievements in World War II, said:
The measure of a person's success is not his height when he reaches the peak, but his resilience when he falls to the bottom.
What won't kill you will eventually make you stronger.