First: Never touch the bodies of relatives who have just passed away: A few hours after the death of 8- 16, the gods just left their bodies. Don't touch the dead body at this time. A slight touch will make the deceased like a thousand pieces, extremely painful, and the pain will make the deceased angry and resentful.
Second: Don't cry loudly when your loved one dies. People who really cry make the deceased feel nostalgic and sad. Some false forms of crying and wailing make the deceased feel angry and cautious, neither of which can make the deceased peaceful.
Third: Don't prepare for the funeral immediately after the death of a loved one 16 hours, and keep the whole room quiet. All relatives and friends or the closest relatives will say to the deceased: If you leave, there is no need to miss things in the world, and each of us will go your way now. In the same way, let the dead put it down, put it down. At the same time, chanting: there is no Amitabha Buddha in the south, and there is no holy name of Tibetan king and bodhisattva in the south. May the power of Buddha and Bodhisattva help the dead. (named www.threetong.com)
Fourth: In the seventh year, it is far better for the closest relatives to sincerely recite Buddhism than to pay for monks and nuns, unless the monks are real monks and nuns are real nuns.
Fifth, in Cixi, killing chickens and fish is called "Geng Rice". Killing will make the deceased feel resentful and increase the karma of the deceased. Within 49 days, if relatives can be vegetarian, it is better than a thousand ceremonies.
Funeral taboo: that is, a good death cannot be confused with the funeral of the violent dead; Widows, pregnant women and parturients are not allowed to attend the funeral; Remarried couples have different burial methods.
Funeral taboo: coffin funeral: general funeral must choose a more auspicious day to avoid two days of burial.
Coffin on the road: the dutiful son dressed in Dai Xiao, holding a funeral stick and coffin, guiding the coffin and the funeral procession on the road; When you are buried, you should ask the wizard to sacrifice to the cave. Once the coffin falls into the grave, it is not allowed to move. When buried, it is forbidden to put the figure of the undertaker into the tomb, because the figure into the tomb is equal to the human sacrifice; People who carry out burial or cremation only need to take care of them after burial, cultivate the soil and plant trees, and keep smoking.
Return from the funeral: burn three piles of straw and send the mourners through the fire, even if it's all right.
Six taboos of folk funeral
1, avoid burial, the coffin bearer said "heavy":
During the funeral, the pallbearers should keep quiet and avoid talking about the word "heavy". If you accidentally blurt it out, it may lead to accidents, such as the coffin being heavier and more difficult to lift, or the coffin falling to the ground while moving.
2. Don't look at temple buildings, don't look at marriage, and don't touch pregnant women and babies with filial piety;
Because people generally think that people who wear mourning clothes have bad omen, they should avoid all occasions related to gods and celebrations, such as building temples, setting stoves, or weddings and wedding banquets. Otherwise, under the fierce infection of filial piety, the temple building is ineffective, or the relationship between newlyweds is not good. If undertaker comes into contact with the mother or baby, it will lead to dystocia of the mother and premature death of the baby.
Avoid the birthday of the people attending the funeral and the deceased.
Because of the principle of "the meridian meets the Jin Mu", if the deceased was born in the following year, anyone born in the afternoon can attend the funeral ceremony regardless of the relatives and friends of the deceased. In addition, pregnant women and babies are also forbidden to send funerals, for fear of being infected with ominous gas.
3. Avoid the people attending the funeral and the zodiac of the deceased:
At funerals, there is usually a sign that there is a zodiac that conflicts with the zodiac of the deceased and must be avoided. Some will put a basin of water in the mourning hall to bathe the guests who come to attend the funeral to dispel the ominous atmosphere.
4. Don't cry when you die. Drop your tears on the dead:
During the funeral, relatives and friends of the deceased should remain calm. No one is allowed to cry at this time, otherwise the dead can't leave, and their souls can't ascend to heaven, so they can only stay in the funeral home. If you accidentally drop your tears on the deceased because you cry, it will make the deceased wander around the world and cannot be reincarnated.
5. Avoid burial in July:
July is regarded as a ghost month by ordinary people. At this time, the gates of hell in the underworld opened wide and many ghosts were exiled to the underworld. If you are buried in July, it may attract more ghosts, which is even worse for your family.
6. Don't cut your hair or shave during mourning:
According to folk custom, during the funeral at home, their relatives can't have their hair cut and shave. It is generally believed that this is to express extreme grief, so that it is impossible to take care of pruning. And its other purpose is to ward off evil spirits, to make yourself look different in peacetime through unkempt appearance, so that the dead can't recognize it and avoid being disturbed.
Matters needing attention in funeral etiquette
(1) funeral.
After the memorial service, the body will be escorted to the crematorium by relatives. Before the funeral, undertaker had to cry and chase him far away to keep him. Now this kind of funeral scene can't be seen in the city, but relatives will still escort the coffin to the crematorium and send it to the last journey.
Because the crematorium and funeral parlour are separated, the distance is relatively far. For example, after the memorial service of Shanghai Longhua funeral parlour and Baoxing funeral parlour, the remains were sent to funeral home cremation, Yishan. Therefore, bereaved people can choose to accompany the car or entrust bereavement according to their actual situation.
1, Family members and cars Family members and cars refer to funeral homes using hearses to send the deceased to the crematorium for the last journey. If there are few family members, you can go with the hearse; If there are many family members, you need to rent another car. The rented car usually follows the hearse.
2. Entrusted Funeral If the funeral parlour doesn't go to the crematorium to hold a funeral, the funeral parlour will hold a funeral for it after the memorial service, and the hearse will go directly to the crematorium.
(2) Farewell
Farewell is a ceremony for bereaved families and relatives to bid farewell to the dead. This farewell ceremony often takes many forms, which is generally decided by the will made by the deceased before his death, or by the bereaved themselves.
1, directly bid farewell to some dead who had a short funeral after death, did not hold a memorial service, and were not bound by flower baskets and wreaths. Just a few immediate family members or close friends can say goodbye before dying. At this time, family members and close friends went to the farewell hall of the funeral home to pay tribute to the body and bid farewell to the deceased. Both funeral parlours and crematoriums have farewell halls to provide services for these bereaved families, and short ceremonies can be held.
2. After the farewell funeral memorial service, the family members will go to the crematorium with the hearse. Before the cremation, a short farewell ceremony will be held to say something to let the deceased rest in peace, and then finally take a look at their loved ones and bow to bid farewell.
(3) Cremation
After the farewell ceremony, the body will be cremated. For civilized and hygienic cremation, the remains are put into disposable packaging boxes (bags). The packaging box (bag) is cremated with the remains. According to the level of scientific and technological content, the stoves used to cremate remains are divided into ordinary stoves and green cremators.
1. Ordinary cremation is carried into the furnace body by conveyor belt, and the ashes are manually checked out after cremation. People who have lost their loved ones can wear disposable sanitary gloves and use special chopsticks to collect bones for their loved ones. The general cremation fee in Shanghai is 180 yuan.
2. Green Cremator With the development of science and technology, a new generation of high-tech cremators has been developed and put into production.
The new green cremator developed by Shanghai Baolong Cremation Machinery Research Institute (Shanghai Yishan Funeral Home is equipped with two green cremators) has reached the international advanced and domestic leading level. The new environmental protection cremation furnace adopts secondary combustion, and uses auxiliary measures such as combustion technology to achieve the purpose of smoke elimination, deodorization and noise removal, which fundamentally solves the environmental pollution caused by the cremation system, and also has the functions of automatic farewell, feeding, cooling, and storage of spiritual bones in trolleys. The new environmental protection cremator has passed the new product appraisal of Shanghai Science and Technology Commission. The cremation system integrates humanities, modern combustion technology, automatic control system and computer management.
When using green cremation fire to melt the body, undertaker entered the farewell room to say goodbye to the body, and then watched the body enter the furnace. At the same time, they can watch the fire melt on the computer screen through the camera in the furnace. Environmental protection cremators meet the special needs of bereaved families and are very popular with bereaved families.
(4) deboning
After cremation, the ashes are put into the ashes bag, and the whole process is called bone picking. Boning is mostly done by funeral home staff. If family members have their own requirements for selecting ashes, the funeral home can provide convenience and complete it in a special bone room. The process of bone setting is that after the ashes are baked, family members put on masks and disposable sanitary gloves, pick up the ashes with special chopsticks and put them in bags. Shanghai Yishan funeral home opened this business, which was very popular with mourners.
(5) receiving ashes
Receiving ashes means that after cremation, family members go to designated places to receive ashes. In general, ashes are collected three days after cremation. If you have special circumstances at home and want to collect the ashes early, you can also ask for the ashes on the same day or the next day, but you must make an appointment during the business negotiation to facilitate the funeral home to arrange in advance.
(6) Short-term deposits
Most mourners do not take the urn home directly, but put it in the ashes storage room of the funeral home, and then take it out from the storage room after buying the cemetery. The ashes stored for less than three years are short-term storage.
The funeral home has a short-term ashes storage room. When negotiating the funeral, the funeral home should set the location in advance. After the cremation, the funeral home will directly put the urn in the pre-selected position. In addition, there are special places for storing ashes, such as Shanghai Zhuanqiao Bedding Garden, which is a cemetery for storing ashes in various ways. Many cemeteries now have ash storage rooms. If the bereaved family has chosen a cemetery, they can also store the ashes in the storage room of the cemetery and take them out when buried, which is very convenient. You are free to choose to lose your family according to your own situation.