The funniest humorous joke * * * A popular article ***
1. A friend said that the eleventh is coming, and many people invited him to the wedding, but he refused everything. I asked him how he did it. He said, I usually reply like this: "I am very sad to hear the news of your marriage. Maybe you don't know, I liked you in the past, and I will be embarrassed to attend your wedding." I said, what if a man invites you? He said, it works, and I have saved a lot of money ...
2. It is said that a colleague has diarrhea on time from August 15th every year and it lasts for several days, and the diarrhea is more than that. Everyone thought that paranormal's supernatural constitution happened. Later, another colleague personally had a meeting with that colleague on August 15th, only to find out that he likes to cut the moon cakes when eating them, and then tear off the deoxidizer or desiccant attached with the moon cakes and sprinkle it on them ... < P > 3. Today, I went to take a bus with the male god, and I was a little excited to sit next to him, but it wasn't long before a pregnant woman got on the bus. I stood up a little disappointed and gave up my seat. Later, the male god gave me a hand.
4. I was reading a novel at my desk when my deskmate suddenly asked me, "Do you like me?" I looked at him seriously: "Dude, can you stop joking like this? I'm a man. " My deskmate also looked at me: "Then can you take your hand off my leg? I'm almost touched by you. "
5. The classmate said that her sister met her brother-in-law: at Dicos, her sister and classmates said that the loser would play an abandoned bitter drama for the first person who entered the door. As a result, her sister lost, and a man and a woman entered through the door. Her sister came forward with a shocked face and tears in her eyes. "I have loved you for so long, but you betrayed me to be with her!" As a result, the man said softly, "Stop it, dear, this is our mother" ... Later, the fake play came true.
6. Today, I got together with my colleagues in the office to talk about peace, and they all commented on the new products there. As far as I was concerned, I broke my fingers there and said, "One is money, so I changed it to Niulanshan Erguotou, Qingdao, Di San Xian and mutton kebabs."
7. My wife asked me: If a female colleague seduced you, would you obey? I smiled and shook my head, hehe, who do you take me for? Am I the kind of person who will tell you what you really think?
8. In high school, the school was closed. Usually, we can only go out to play, but only one student went out directly from the gate. He is not tall and a little fat. He likes to wear a suit and doesn't shave his beard. Every time he goes out, the security guard asks him, "How was your talk with the teacher?" I saw him clap his thigh, and his face was sad like a curse: "I am so worried about this baby that I always know how to fight!" ...... "
9. Looking back on the military training in those days, we usually remember these kinds of people: the younger sister who was close to the instructor, the smart guy who often took leave and was absent, the otaku who fainted due to heatstroke, the clueless girl who played well, and the * * * who pretended to faint.
1. Doraemon "Local tyrants are our friends" Local tyrants are our friends. As long as we have local tyrants and friends, we can extend the lens indefinitely. We can send some hand-made dolls by SLR and throw a lot of money at my face to share them.
11. When I was a child, adults asked me my last name, and I said my last name was Li. Then the adults teased me and said, So your surname is Zhang. I quickly explain, but I can't explain clearly, and I cry every time. . I met a child today, and I asked him his last name. He said my last name was Li, and then I teased him and said, So your last name is Zhang. The child glanced at me and said calmly: * * *. .
12. Some news conjectures about the iPhone after its listing. Middle school students show off fingerprint identification to unlock, and they are repeatedly stabbed by classmates because they use their middle fingers; Xiaoli suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her mobile phone, and the young man is guilty of cutting off his finger and throwing it out of the window; Figure A fresh man uses * * * to enter his fingerprint, and he wants to cry after circumcision. Taobao shop owner sells "QQ iPhone Online", but he was complained that he sent a coffin because Virgo buyers were dissatisfied with S capital.
13. Don't hack Xiaomi any more. A friend of mine used to repair Nokia, and his life has been very poor. Last year, he changed to repair Xiaomi, and yesterday he just brought a BMW Z.
14. Once upon a time, a girl disguised as a man and entered a boys' school for a boy she liked. As soon as she entered the school, her classmates asked her to run on the playground with bare arms as a freshman gift. ""I know that the man actually knew she was a girl, so the hero saved the beauty, didn't he? ""No, then she ran around the playground three times with bare arms, and no one found out that she was a girl. " .
15. The house was awarded to my ex-wife during the divorce, so I put three mice in the house and wrote their numbers on their backs:
The funniest humorous joke * * * Classic ***
1. A plastic surgery company held a meeting, and the host announced in a high-profile way that Miss Zhang, who had the highest performance this year, would share her experience. Miss Zhang proudly said, "Let's do it. I need a more attractive service concept and marketing methods. Whenever there are new customers, I will show them my face and tell them that if I am ugly, my son will be too scared to go home and my husband will run away with others. < P > 2. My girlfriend's knee suddenly becomes bruised, which is too much! I ran to practice muay Thai without telling me!
3. Cook accidentally dropped his high-grade gray iphone into the river. At this time, the river god appeared, took out a silver iphone and asked Cook if it was this one. He shook his head. River God took out another golden iphone and asked if it was yours. Cook continued to shake his head. He Shen said that you are an honest CEO, so you can return this iphone you dropped. -hcymoby * * @ English tasteless joke encyclopedia ***
4. I remember that in the past, teachers in primary, middle and high schools always told me: In fact, you are very smart but refuse to study hard! Every time I hear this, I always think: useless JB words!
5. I went to a restaurant with my friends and saw a fly in the pickled fish. My buddy wanted to call the waiter, so I said wait, then I took out a coin and hid it in the plate, and then I called the waiter. The waiter apologized and said to change it. Soon the waiter brought another pot, and then we started to turn it in front of the waiter. When we turned out a coin, the waiter was stupid! Then the lobby manager came to apologize and said that this meal was on me ...
6. When my mother said that she was pregnant with me, a fortune teller said that her baby was a boy. My heart said that the fortune-teller might not have really made up his mind, and a picture flashed through his mind. An old man with a kind spirit touched his beard, glanced at my mother's stomach and said with a smile, "Hehe, it's a man."
7. When my skinny buddy got home, he found his wife stealing a man! My buddy was trembling with anger, but he didn't dare to attack. I had to retreat gently, locked the door conveniently, and then dialed a phone: "Mom, it's not good! Your daughter locked herself in her room and said she would commit suicide! " Within ten minutes, my mother-in-law's family all came, and there were three busloads of people ...
8. Don't believe in luck and good character. After all, it is a minority. I tell you that the world is cruel. Only through our unremitting efforts, working overtime and studying every second can we finally verify the sentence: "Good face can really be eaten."
9. "Xiao Li, I'm going to buy a pack of cigarettes and help me keep an eye on this prisoner before he gets away. "Okay, no problem" Ten minutes later, "Where are you? ! ! ? "Let's go ..."
1. Today, a female colleague in the company's birthday, her husband entrusted a florist to send a clown creative flowers to send blessings. What a romantic and warm scene! Colleagues suddenly burst out with tears in their eyes: "Hey, strange, where did my husband get the money?"
11. Today, I took the bus. First, an old man gave up his seat to my friend. The old man said that he didn't sit in a few stops, and then a young man with five big and three thick got up at another stop. When he got up, he said to give him a seat quickly, but he said he wouldn't sit. This brother said, I won't sit down! The old man sat down silently, and the whole car was in a mess ... He added, this is a traditional virtue, virtue ...
12. Today, in physics class, the teacher told us a little trick to make us apply what we have learned. In winter, girls can protect themselves by wearing thick leather clothes, because when hooligans forcibly take off your clothes, they will touch static electricity, and you can take the opportunity to escape. Of course, you can wear whatever you like if you are ugly. Next, students turn to the first page and look at the first question. Party A and Party B take apples, and Party A takes more than Party B', this classmate, please answer, what is the subject and object of this sentence? 」。 "Chinese teacher, that's enough"
14. Go for a haircut with your best friend and talk to the hairdresser about what face is suitable for what hairstyle. So I said: What hairstyle is suitable for a baked wheat cake face like mine * * * with a wide face * * *, and the barber said: Sister, don't be kidding, you are not a baked wheat cake face, who makes baked wheat cakes so big! * * *, do you still want me to cut it?
15. Goddess: "I have been so touched by your kindness to me. I will be engaged to Gao Fushuai tomorrow, and I am willing to repay you tonight … it seems that you are ready." * * * Silk: "Hey? Ready? " The goddess pointed to his shirt pocket: "Your shirt is so transparent that I can see it." * * * silk took it out and looked sad: "This bag of instant noodle seasoning is for me to make soup at night. Here you are."
The funniest humorous jokes * * * Selected articles ***
1. A woman in front of the queue bought a hamburger and ate the chicken in it immediately before she left the counter. When I bought it and walked beside her, I listened to the woman feeding the child a hamburger and asking the child, "Is it delicious?" The child shook his head and said, "It's not delicious." His father also taught the child, "Yes, the advertisements on TV are all deceptive." Her mother asked again, "Will you come to eat after that?" The child shook his head and looked disappointed ...
2. My colleague's family has a little niece, a semi-standard little loli. I was playing at his house the day before yesterday, and her father went to the toilet and left the door open. The little girl just passed by the toilet and turned her head. A strider rushed in and said, "Dad, it's not like this. Come on, I'll teach you. Get down." His father sprayed
at that time. 3. Listening to the two people next to him talking about raising a dog almost killed me. One of them complained to the other that the newly raised Chihuahua is much more stupid than the original shepherd. When the shepherd defecates at home, you hit him two or three times, and he finds that "I can't defecate here". After you hit him two or three times, he will think that "I can't defecate" and then hold back every day.
4. I feel that I can't do anything too much since I witnessed a girl in our class changing her menstruation towel in class.
5. Just before the queue, a woman bought a hamburger and ate the chicken in it immediately before she left the counter. When I bought it and walked beside her, I listened to the woman ask the child, "Is it delicious?" The child shook his head and said, "It's not delicious." His father also taught the child, "Yes, the advertisements on TV are all deceptive." Her mother asked again, "Will you come to eat after that?" "The child shook his head and looked disappointed. . .
6. The traffic police check the drunk driving at the intersection in front of the hotel. The second brother went to the police drunk and said, "Let me blow." The police ignored it. So he shouted to the police, "Let me blow." The policeman was also angry: "I didn't drive to blow anything!" So the second brother turned away swearing. Ten minutes later, the second brother drove back and squeezed into front of the police: "Can you blow it now?" Then, he hasn't come back yet ... < P > 7. A: "Hello, I'm from Changsha, and you?" "Fortunately, I kill occasionally." B: "Hello, instructor, I'm from Henan, and you? I ... and a man ...
8. The young man trudged through the mountains and finally found the Zen master who lived in seclusion in the mountains. He couldn't wait to ask, "I am ugly. What should I do?" "If you are ugly, you should be like me." The young man nodded and said, "quiet inside, be immune? "No, if you are ugly, you must quickly find a deep mountain to hide like me." < P > 9. Never talk to your wife about your ex-girlfriend. It is a lie to say that you are not angry. It's autumn, and the floor is quite cold. .
1. "Welcome to the LV flagship store. This one is a * * * version. It's expensive and doesn't have a lot of money. I advise you not to buy it." "Are you afraid that I can't afford it? !” "Madam, you misunderstood. I mean there are only small, medium and large models."
11. "What is your horoscope? """Mixed food and other shi Zhai rotten sister paper" ""Pony, our eight characters are too close! Mine is "love and rest * * * * *" "
12." Husband, you like me so much, tell me my advantages … ""You don't need a reason to love someone! " "Then tell me about my shortcomings …" "Lazy, stupid, greedy, short and chubby!"
13. One afternoon in Beijing, a boy received a phone call from a girl who just broke up. The girl said, "I will fly in an hour. If you can come, I won't leave." The boy was very excited, so he immediately rushed down the office building after leaving work, and firmly said, "I love you, wait for me." Hours passed, and he still took a taxi in Sanlitun. Hours later, the boy finally arrived at the airport and found that the girl was getting instant noodles in the waiting hall.
14. Xiaoming accidentally dropped a Rolex gold watch into the river. Soon the river god came up with Xiaoming's Rolex gold watch and said, local tyrant, local tyrant, let's be friends.
15. Bored back to my alma mater in junior high school, I overheard the school teacher educating students not to fall in love early. Listen carefully and laugh directly. The teacher said, "You can only play with our local friends in junior high school; Playing friends in high school can only play the whole of Chongqing; But when you go to college, you can play not only all over the country, but also foreign countries ... So, you'd better go to college and fall in love again. "