Traditional wedding: proposal of marriage, also known as marriage proposal. That is, the matchmaker goes to the man to propose marriage, or the matchmaker first goes to the man to introduce the woman's situation, and then the man approves and then the woman proposes marriage. Intermarriage. There are two steps here. After both parties approve the marriage proposal, the matchmaker will write the woman's name, birth date, place of origin, and three generations of ancestry into a Geng sticker and send it to the man. If there are no unexpected or unlucky things happening in the man's house within three days, such as broken bowls, pots, etc., this is called "three good days". With this good sign, the man agreed to exchange Geng Tie. After changing the Geng Tie, they each ask someone to divine the marriage and confirm whether the man and woman are symbiotic or incompatible with each other. engagement. After the marriage, the engagement stage begins, that is, from the man preparing gifts to the woman making a marriage arrangement. The gift is usually a pair of gold earrings or a gold ring. Some also give gold necklaces, as well as sugar and noodles, which are tokens of engagement. During the engagement ceremony, the woman should distribute candies and biscuits to relatives, friends and neighbors to inform her that the marriage has been decided. After the engagement, the betrothal gift will be given. Xingpin, also known as send-in. In the past, the betrothal gifts for the rich were gold, silver, colored satin, pigs, sheep, wine and fruits; for the poor, betel nut, chicken and wine were nothing more. Chaozhou people regard betel nut as a symbol of good luck and good luck, and it is a unique wedding gift. Modern betrothal gifts include gifts in kind and cash. The physical items must be of at least four types each: sugar, noodles, Taiji (Teochew mandarin orange), gold and silver jewelry, cloth, cakes, etc., but it cannot be an odd number, it must be an even number. Cash is also called bride price, and it can be divided into one, two or four parts, but they are all multiples. During the betrothal gift, the woman must give a return gift, that is, return the cakes and food in the betrothal gift, and give "mandarin duck bananas", oranges, pig hearts, etc. in return. Mandarin duck bananas are two bananas growing side by side, symbolizing a hundred years of togetherness; oranges are homophones of "auspicious", symbolizing good luck; and pig hearts (half of which is left on the woman) symbolizes unity. At this time, both parties will also use the cakes and snacks from the other party's gifts to distribute them solemnly to relatives, friends and neighbors to announce the wedding date. Relatives, friends and neighbors should also return gifts to express their congratulations. During the application period and after the betrothal gift is given, the date of marriage must be chosen and communicated to the woman, including notifying the woman when to cut the wedding dress, when to "turn face", when to bathe, when to marry, etc. Most weddings take place in the dark, and the trendy custom of maintaining weddings at night is actually a legacy from ancient times. Welcoming, this is the ceremony where the groom goes to the bride's house to marry the bride, and it is also the most important procedure in the wedding. There are two types of wedding receptions: one is for the groom to welcome the bride, and the other is for the groom to ask a "lucky person" to welcome the bride on his behalf. At this time, the bride often bursts into tears, which is called "crying for marriage". On the one hand, they cry because they are far away from their parents. On the other hand, it is said that only by shedding tears can the mother's family become rich. When the colorful sedan arrives at the door of the husband's house, the husband's family will set off firecrackers to welcome it. The groom kicks the sedan with his feet, rolls up the curtain, pulls off the Ruyi hair from the bride's head, and pricks the bride on her forehead. Kicking the sedan chair and tying Ruyi are intended to give the bride power: everything from now on must be as her husband wants. This is a hint of husband power. Then the bride, with the support of the bridesmaid, stepped over a pile of burning "fire smoke" under the threshold. After the bride enters the house, accompanied by the "Qing Niang Mu" invited by her husband's family, she and the groom have a "shared room consummation", enter the bridal chamber, and go to the hall to serve tea to their elders and peers, etc. At this time, Qing Niang's mother should be reciting songs of praise. On the wedding day of the bride, the mother-in-law's family will send her brother-in-law to give lily soup to the husband, hoping that the bride will be happy with her husband's family. The next day, fungus and pig heart soup will be given to the bride, hoping that the bride will not forget her family members. Only the third time can I stay at my parents’ home for a few days and express my feelings about missing my parents. There is also a custom of giving "sister money" to girls here when they get married. "Sisters' money" is given by the groom who comes to marry the bride to her younger siblings, usually 4 yuan, 40 cents and 8 cents. Giving money to sisters is given to a man and a woman on behalf of each other, which means "good". 448 points, which means "good things for the world" and "never be separated (for the world)". When the groom is decorating his new house, he must hold a solemn "bed-laying" ceremony. When setting up the bed, a fortune teller is invited to choose a date, and there is also a special emphasis on the orientation of the head of the bed. When setting up your bed, you should do "four sentences" for good luck. When the bride puts on heavy makeup and is about to get into the sedan chair, the bride's family will bring a basin of water and pour it on the sedan chair. While pouring it, they say: "Pour the water on the sedan chair and the bride will become new." The couple is getting married. Bride's wishes. However, now of course it is no longer the sedan chair that is splashed, but bicycles, motorcycles, and cars. In the past, the bride had to have two pairs of wooden shoes in her trousseau. In addition to being convenient for daily life, it also means "growing old together" or "following the same steps". After the bride comes home, she has to get up early the next morning to cook and make a bowl of sweet rice herself. After the husband, mother-in-law and husband's brothers and sisters get up, they will be invited to taste some. It is said that for this bowl of sweet rice, the sugar must be brought from the mother's family, and a mouthful of one's own saliva must be mixed into the rice soup when cooking. Of course, the saliva is mixed into the rice soup quietly, and the eater does not need to ask any questions. This custom means that if the husband's family eats sweet rice containing the bride's saliva, the bride and the whole family will be able to get along harmoniously and live in harmony. During the first three days of marriage, the bride and her parents-in-law should avoid seeing each other. Early on the fourth day, the bride will go to the public well where her new home is located to draw water. Before drawing water, put a handful of brown sugar and a handful of soil brought by your parents' family into the well. This is so that the bride will not be "acclimatized" in the future and can live in harmony with her neighbors. A folk activity that has emerged in recent years is worshiping the God of Wealth at midnight. No matter which region it is, the climax of a wedding is the "bridal chamber". The same is true in Chaoshan. Sachets are embroidered by brides hiding in their boudoir before getting married. People judge the bride's dexterity or clumsiness, diligence or laziness based on the skill and quantity of these embroidery crafts.
If you want to see the bride's beauty, you must say the "four sentences" of good luck and happiness before the bride is willing to put down the fan that covers her face. There are also some humorous troublemakers who use the technique of first suppressing and then raising or first raising and then suppressing to make the bride not know how to answer. Special marriage customs In the past, there were many special marriage customs in Chaoshan area. With the progress of society, some of these forms of marriage customs have been eliminated, and although some still have their names, their forms have been completely changed. Finger marriage (also known as baby marriage): Old friends or close relatives and friends, decided by the parents of both parties, designate the two families to conceive the baby after birth. If a boy and a girl are born, they will be the future husband and wife, which is called finger marriage. When a man and a woman grow up, regardless of whether they like it or not, their parents choose a date to get married, which is called "house transfer".
The etiquette of Chaoshan daughter-in-law:
Teaching family rules when getting married: women When getting married, in addition to the general principles and knowledge taught by parents and elders about being a daughter-in-law, there is a ceremony in which the daughter is required to sit on a water vat before getting into the sedan chair. This custom implies that the daughter should be "generous" like the water vat. Be open-minded and don't worry about things.
Recognize the rice vat: listen to the Wenggu's introduction to the location of the rice vat, the number of people cooking rice and porridge in the family, etc.
Listen to the water vat: listen to the Wenggu's instructions. Where to fetch water, where to hang the buckets and bucket hooks, and how to maintain hygienic drinking water, etc.
Stir the rice swill tank: use a wooden stick to stir it, and let the wife see that there is no uncooked or cooked rice in it. It means not to waste.
Lighting a fire: It is customary for a bride to cook for her aunt or sister-in-law when she comes home. Even if a rich family has a maid, it will take twelve days or one day. Participate in cooking at the first or fourth month:
The bride should respect the elderly and cherish the young when she first arrives, and she should eat while standing for four days and twelve days. Advise your daughter-in-law to avoid this ritual if she or she does not need to feed the elders. Also, if they are not allowed to stand on the threshold, they are not allowed to sit in the main hall. When serving tea, they should be ranked according to the guest and host.
Washing clothes: men’s clothes must be washed first and then women’s clothes, elders’ clothes first, then juniors’ clothes, dark clothes first, then light clothes, etc.)