Flowers come in all kinds of reds and vary from person to person. No one is perfect. Only by recognizing your own weaknesses can you have hope.
Everyone has weaknesses, including weaknesses and deficiencies in actual abilities and qualities, as well as weaknesses and vulnerabilities in character and emotion. Weaknesses strike us, make us vulnerable, insecure, bring frustration, depression, and knock us down along the way. These weaknesses are often not fatal pathologies, but when they occur, they weaken us, turning external dangers that take advantage of us into fatal blows. The scary thing is, we don’t know when these weaknesses hit because it’s latent. But when you find an opportunity and you are ecstatic, it will suddenly be exposed and give you a heavy blow, and then you can only watch the opportunity disappear in pain and helplessness.
No one is perfect in the world, and everyone has their own weaknesses. Regarding weaknesses, most people do not go all out to overcome them and always avoid them. "A ruler is short, an inch is long." It is right to make use of strengths and avoid weaknesses. But some weaknesses are like ticking time bombs, and the so-called doom is the price we pay for refusing to acknowledge these weaknesses in ourselves. "The more you try to avoid something, the harder it is to avoid it." This is a very powerful psychological theorem. No matter what methods you use to avoid it, whether you change jobs, get divorced, or cut off contact with someone, your vulnerability will never go away.
We can meet many people in life who are healthy, mentally agile, and successful in their careers. However, due to their weaknesses, their energy and creativity cannot be fully utilized. Refusing to face your weaknesses is like applying the brakes but trying to keep the car moving.
Dr. Napoleon Hill, the master of success studies, has classified weaknesses into five categories after painstaking research:
The first is doubt about self-image.
This kind of people are extremely dissatisfied with their own image, which is reflected in their strict requirements on their physical conditions. They are unable to identify themselves with a suitable self-image in their hearts. There are also examples of missed opportunities due to doubts about self-image:
There was a student who had very good grades. Unfortunately, there was a birthmark on his face, which made him very inferior. Later, a well-known key middle school in the city gave this school two registration places. It was only natural that he should be there. But when he saw the notice requiring "correct facial features," he didn't dare to apply. When a classmate tried to persuade him, he actually yelled: "Do you want me to go to that middle school and look ugly? There are all top people there!" The classmate had no choice but to keep quiet. As a result, others took the exam and luckily passed it.
He regretted it later. The middle school he attended had a college enrollment rate of no more than 10%, and the teaching level was very poor. But once the opportunity is gone, you will have to endure hardship if you belittle or doubt your own image too much.
The second is Mo Ming’s worries.
This kind of people lack confidence in themselves and are always afraid that if they are not careful, they will expose their weaknesses and cause harm. Because they are unwilling to actively remove their weaknesses, they are voluntarily bound by their weaknesses. Such people have no fun in life. They are always nervous. They are always afraid of revealing their weaknesses and making people laugh. They are restrained in everything they do. Even if they see an opportunity, they dare not take advantage of it because they are afraid of exposing themselves to the difficulties that come with the opportunity. shortcomings.
The third is the inability to tolerate criticism from others.
This type of people always want to please others in order to avoid being criticized by others. They strive to create a perfect self. They live it for others to see. They are very depressed inside and always feel that others do not understand them.
There is a law student who is diligent, studious, and positive. He is a cadre of the department, a student party member, and an important member of many societies. I see him busy every day, and everyone who sees him says he is excellent. But when he chatted with his friends in private, he said he was in pain and felt that he didn't have much energy to live.
He once liked a girl in his class, and the girl also had some feelings for him. But when the brothers were bragging in the dormitory, one roommate announced that he liked the girl, and the other roommates rushed to give advice and cheer for the roommate. He could only smile beside him, not to mention how miserable he felt. He is not the kind of person who can speak his mind and compete with others. Image comes first. Long live perfection! The result was of course the last thing he wanted: the two of them got along.
"Think about why I live? I don't want that kind of opportunity. That girl is obviously interested in me." He is a good student, and there is never anything wrong with him that makes people catch him. But the life he lived was daunting and he had so much to lose.
Fourth is excessive tension and busyness.
This kind of people are always unable to relax themselves. No matter how many things they have at hand, they always try to solve the problem at once. They cannot sleep until the problem is solved. In fact, from any perspective, it is difficult for a person who is too stressed to maintain an objective attitude and thus see opportunities or find solutions to problems. Because he was too focused on his own pressure, he felt overwhelmed and couldn't do anything. I always feel that there is not enough time, too many demands, etc., and as a result, I fall into a negative mentality.
A negative mentality will inevitably lead to frustration. In the college entrance examination over the years, there have been cases where students with very good grades have become abnormal due to excessive pressure. If they can correctly assume due and necessary responsibilities and put aside unnecessary responsibilities, there will be no abnormal behavior.
The fifth is to hope for a happier life.
This kind of people can never enjoy the present and always think that there is a more perfect life than this moment. They expect a miracle to give them a sudden boost in life. This kind of person is like the kind of person mentioned earlier who does not understand the preciousness in front of him and only sees the scenery in the distance. If he does not start from the present point of view in a down-to-earth manner, success and opportunities will never come to them.
In addition to behavioral and psychological weaknesses, character weaknesses are also extremely scary and have a great impact on whether people can seize opportunities.
Personality is very important for being able to seize opportunities for success. Conversely, character flaws can affect a person's chances of seizing an opportunity.
Character is not born, but learned. You are unlikely to hear anyone comment on a newborn baby's personality. Therefore, whether it is good character or defective character, it is acquired.
Those with good character will generally succeed. The person with a good character mentioned here does not refer to a person who is simply kind and gentle, but refers to a character full of positivity and brightness. They do not passively wait for things to happen or opportunities to appear. They actively look for opportunities; they do not waste time and even create opportunities to make successful moves. But the life of a person with character flaws may be just the opposite. Only by recognizing evil can we avoid evil. Here are 8 specific evil symptoms of character. They are the biggest enemies of character. The key is that they run rampant like crabs, often blocking your path in life and destroying all your opportunities. So you have to recognize them and eliminate them.
First, the character who is good at deceiving himself: A person who is good at deceiving himself cannot cooperate successfully with others honestly. If he deceives himself, he will undoubtedly deceive others. As a result, getting opportunities and help from other people is almost impossible.
People who deceive themselves are always intoxicated with illusions. The scary thing is that they use illusions to replace life, and then justify themselves plausibly. Hallucinations can easily be confused with dreams, and they must be distinguished effectively. What the illusion relies on must be a lazy style of jumping out of key links, which is unrealistic. People who deceive themselves often have overconfidence. Do you think, for a person who talks nonsense and is arrogant, would anyone want to cooperate with him and give him a chance?
Second, a lazy person who does not expect to pay but only focuses on gains. There are many people who always hope that there will be a chance of success without any effort. They often complain about the unfairness of the world, "Oh, why don't my parents have any money," "What if I picked up 1 million," and all kinds of irresponsible thoughts are an anesthetic to their spirits. Compared with these sweet narcotics, the opportunities accompanied by unknowability and difficulties seem too bitter.
Third, people with shameless character. People without shame are mainly manifested in the pursuit of sensual enjoyment. An extremist once claimed in front of Magdalen Church: It would have been better if Adam and Eve had not eaten the fruit of wisdom, which made people feel ashamed and made human life seem unnatural and depressing. Later, according to the investigation, this person's daily behavior showed that he was a truly shameless person.
Shameless people have absolutely no conscience. They always ask: "How much benefit do you give me?" When seeing this kind of person, opportunities will run away. Shameless people always want to exchange one point of their own value for 100% of the harvest. They hope that the goddess of fate will flatter them, but this abnormal character makes them care too much about opportunities, wanting to pay less and gain more, but opportunities will not wait for them.
Fourth, extremely cold character. If your character is cold to a certain extent, you will lose your humanity. And once you lose your humanity, you will become a terrible paranoia. Adolf Hitler is one of them. Originally, his political skills and military command were quite good, but when the German army won one after another, his character was distorted. Thinking that the German nation was an excellent nation, he ordered the extermination of other so-called inferior nations led by the Jews. In fact, the correct strategy and political strategy at that time should be to appease the people and cultivate pro-German forces. Blind massacre was just the behavior of bandits and robbers, which was far from the ambitious strategy of a person who wanted to rule the world. Hitler, who was extremely ruthless and dehumanized, also lost the chance to at least unify Europe.
Fifth, the character weakness of not following principles and only seeking convenience. This kind of person will also have no relatives or friends, and will be a wallflower without principled stance. Even if they are famous for a while, they will not last long. Confucius said more than 2,600 years ago that "people cannot stand without faith." Without principles, no one will give you a chance if you change your orders day and night. Under the suspicious eyes of the surrounding people, it is undoubtedly a foolish dream for such people to seize the opportunity to reach the sky in one step.
Sixth, a personality that ignores morality. Personality must be based on morality. Moral sentiments are of irreplaceable importance to a successful personality. If the moral foundation is ignored or simply ignored, a fragmented and selfish society will inevitably result. A society where everyone is for himself will fall apart. If the building is about to collapse, how will individuals as a society be spared? At this time, there is no question of whether there is an opportunity or not.
Seventh, hate dedication. This viciousness goes hand in hand with sitting back and enjoying the success. But aversion to giving goes even further, demonstrating the impossibility of any altruistic behavior. The averse devotee also has a cold heart. But he forgot that society is a ring or network system. If we want to circulate well, we must communicate with each other. People who hate dedication have a hard time getting dedication and opportunities from others. If an individual hates dedication, he will not be able to complete a successful personality, and life will not give him any reward.
There is such a classmate who is an absolute perfectionist and strives for the best in everything he does.
But this kind of perfection will not be leaked at all. He never does anyone a favor, even if it is a little help, of course he never asks anyone for help. It was as if he was a completely self-sufficient man. Gradually, everyone forgot about him. Once, he took time off to see a doctor. During his absence, the class teacher, who was rarely seen twice a year, came over and announced that the school was going to select representatives for an inspection trip to Hong Kong. He then handed over the specific work to the class committee and left. When he came back, no one said anything to him. It wasn't that everyone was deliberately hostile to him, but that no one had the idea of ??telling him. When the registration is completed, the audition notice will be posted. He just knew. He was so dissatisfied with this matter that he even called his parents to school to argue. But it was too late. This opportunity was ruined by his aversion to dedication and selfishness.
Eighth, greedy character. Greed sometimes becomes a driving force, but most of the time it gets out of hand because this motivation has strong negative factors. A greedy heart is usually also a twisted heart, unable to objectively observe and analyze things. When an opportunity comes, such a person is either too focused on the benefits of the opportunity, fails to see the difficulties, or wants to monopolize the opportunity and exclude others. The end result is lost opportunities.
The above 8 types of character and personality shortcomings do not represent the 8 types of people. These negative things are often connected, just like people who sit back and enjoy the gains will inevitably hate dedication and be a little greedy to some extent. People who are too greedy often ignore morality and are very cruel to others. Therefore, if a person wants to be able to observe things calmly and seize opportunities, he must avoid falling into any of these eight personality traps, otherwise he will fall deeper and deeper into them.
Weaknesses are terrible and exist objectively. People who are confident and complacent ignore it, and people who have low self-esteem and self-pity exaggerate it. But most weaknesses are acquired. Why can't they be overcome later? Even if it is an innate weakness, it is not insurmountable. In fact, if you handle it properly, you can not only eliminate the negative effects of weaknesses, but you can even use them to grow.
Of course, there are always joys and sorrows in the process of overcoming personal weaknesses. The sad thing is, your weakness may not completely disappear. For example, a person who feels insecure about failure and is afraid of other people's anger cannot miraculously get rid of his fear overnight. After people are relieved from stress, there is a natural tendency to "go back again." When you are anxious and busy. When you are tired and weak. Those bad habits you thought were gone may come back.
On the contrary, the joy is that by discovering and mastering your weaknesses, you will no longer hit yourself so automatically, making it easier for you to overcome your weaknesses. In fact, your own mental state plays a key role in overcoming your weaknesses.
For example, if a person is quite fat and has a heavy psychological burden, he will be the first to say "Haha, I can't help it, I have gained weight again, and I can't find a wife" when meeting someone. This kind of self-defeating and self-deprecating words come out. Even if others don't intend to pay attention to how fat you are, they will be forced to think about it. Then, maybe both parties will fall into an embarrassing situation. The other person will only laugh dryly a few times: "No, no, you are so generous and fat!" or "You are so blessed!" In short, over time, the other person may stay away from you.
In this way, the fat man not only exposed his innate weaknesses, but also had poor interpersonal relationships due to his inferiority complex. His problem is not how fat he is, but his attitude towards how fat he is. People who are obsessed with their own weaknesses often cannot see their other strengths and are prone to frustration and depression. Whenever something happens, they will naturally think of their weaknesses and then shrink back. It is impossible to seize any opportunities under such circumstances.
Of course, not obsessing about your weaknesses does not mean ignoring them. Your weakness is an important early warning signal that you need to pay attention to something in yourself, your work, and your relationships. When you face your weaknesses, you no longer feel angry or frustrated; instead, you can ask yourself: "What can I learn from this situation?" "How can I put this situation forward?" The obvious weakness is transformed into another kind of strength, making me wiser, more loving, and happier."
Generally speaking, the path of growth does not proceed in a straight line, but in a spiral. The way gradually rises. In other words, we always advance and retreat. But as long as you find and overcome the reasons for regression, you can always make more progress than retreat. Every time when your weaknesses emerge, or when your growth path diverges, don't be frustrated because of it. What you need most at this time is to trust yourself, don't criticize yourself, and let yourself overcome your weaknesses through experience. Comprehensive growth.
In order to get rid of your weaknesses, you may have to throw away a lot of things. In the past, you may have felt sorry for yourself. You put pressure on yourself to be someone completely different from you. You hid the parts that you were afraid of being unacceptable to others. You were worried about what others would think of you. These , you must abandon them all. It is impossible for a person who carries so many burdens to discern opportunities and seize them calmly and objectively. Almost all of his energy was devoted to the mental struggle with his own weaknesses. He must forgive his own weaknesses and use the same attitude to consider others. At the same time, you need to learn to accept the parts of yourself that make you most intolerable. You need to grow up enough to be able to see clearly who you are in reality, and don’t blindly use the ideal you to oppress the real you.
You may say: Why do you care so much? It doesn't matter if you don't fully realize your potential in this life. If you have the courage to admit your weaknesses and treat them with an objective and normal heart, you will break through the negative effects of weaknesses. Whether you want to overcome it or not is entirely up to you. But now and in the future, your relationships, your vitality, and your opportunities may be stifled by weaknesses. To suffer weakness in silence? Or self-improvement? You decide for yourself, but overcoming your weaknesses will definitely bring you a smooth and long-lasting life, and will help you better seize opportunities, no doubt about it.